Burn Out.

[shinyhappypeople]

I just.want.to.stop.

 

If I could, I would drop the kids off at one of the private Christian schools in our neighborhood on Monday and be DONE.

 

Public school isn't an option and finances - plus, it being so late in the year - make private school right now not an option.

 

But, oh my gosh, I'm so freakin OVER this homeschool thing (mostly).

 

My older (11 yo) DD is both brilliant and struggling academically (If I have to tell her one.more.time. that capitalizing the first word of a sentence isn't optional, I'm going to FLIP OUT.  She knows, she just... doesn't.)  She's making progress in math, but NO WAY could she handle grade level math. She's working on MM4 (just started) and it's a struggle, but we're making progress.

 

Meanwhile, my younger DD is also very bright but likes everything on her own terms.  That could be a whole 'nother post, but suffice it to say that it is frustrating.  The other day she had a Bad Day (bigtime) and let me know in no uncertain terms how much she hates homeschooling.  Lovely.  I reminded her that (a) middle school isn't an option - sorry - too much negative social stuff going on (note to whoever is reading this: don't try to push back or argue this point, please.  I know our situation and school options, and I'm hanging on by a thread so.... just please don't), and (b) she'll be going to a B&M high school, so just hang in there a few more years.

 

I think I had really good reasons for starting my family on this road.  It has not turned out like I expected.  My older DD wasn't supposed to struggle so hard.  I feel tired and sad.  Know what I've been praying about lately?  That my kids would learn to love to read.  Younger DD reads extremely well, but rarely does it for pleasure :(  Older DD has her own set of challenges, but on Thursday morning I was reading on the couch and she sat down with me, picked up a library book (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) and sat for three hours and read.  She finished the whole thing and is so justifiably proud of herself.  So... wow.  That was actually pretty awesome. :)

 

Two more months (maybe a bit less) until younger DD finishes her math book and we can take a break - for her.  Older DD is working on math and writing through the summer, so no rest for the weary on that front, but it needs to be done, so we'll do it.  We've taken too many breaks this year, mostly because of illness and extracurriculars, so we really need to push through even though it stinks for me right now.

 

Help :(

[Ellie]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I feel your pain.

 

Once I burned us out by Thanksgiving. I put the books away, which I normally did at Thanksgiving, but I didn't take them out again until the next fall. Really. (Good thing I lived in California, where I didn't have to report anything!). Dc did just fine; we started KONOS that fall, and older dd began taking classes at the community college in January...she was 13...:-)

 

Most often, though a couple of weeks of total unschooling (not counting household chores and whatnot) really helped. And field trips, which count as school even though they don't look like it. :-)

[Kfamily]

:grouphug:  :grouphug: :grouphug:  

 

Some days...some weeks....some years....are so hard.

[maize]

Sounds like it has been a long school year.

 

Would the girls help you brainstorm some ways to change things up for the next few months but still get work done? Take a day off, go out to lunch together, and talk about what you want and need and what they want and need?

 

Sending virtual hugs your way. Things rarely do work out the way we expect or plan.

[KrissiK]

I am so sorry! I understand. I don't have your exact problems, but we definitely have issues in our home regarding school. And yes, I am burnt out, too. We are hoping to put our oldest son in Catholic school which should really ease the burden for me. (The class he would be going into is full, so we're waiting and praying for a spot to open up) He's 11 and should be fairly independent by now, but he demands the bulk of my attention and has definite attitude and behaviour problems. We're hoping that spending the day with kids his own age he can't boss around might help. And maybe working under someone else's expectations will help, too. You have my sympathies, and know that you are not alone!

 

ETA: sometimes Christian schools have scholarship programs, etc. They want students and are often willing to make it work with families. Are you just assuming you can't afford it, or have you actually done the legwork and know it for a fact?

[Tiramisu]

Just sharing your pain. And I only have one at home now. I have noticed that by lightening up on her academic load out of necessity--for her needs right now as well as mine--she pursues her own learning. I stopped WWE, for example, and now she is writing on her own and using writing to actually communicate through letters to friends and other things. You might want to try that in a way that works for you.

 

I support your no-middle-school decision. Our public elementary school was great. The middle school is a slime pit.

 

I also noticed how you describe your dc in your siggy. It looks like your description of them, in combination with the struggles you describe, suggests that they learn differently, making me think a typical educational approach could very well leave you banging your head against a wall. I don't know what methods and materials you are using but it might be time to re-evaluate if you haven't explored that yet.

[Arcadia]

:grouphug:

 

Public middle school isn't an option for us too unless we get into the better behavior-wise one by open enrollment.

 

Could your younger daughter who likes to learn at her own terms be a self-directed learner? My firstborn is the one that prefers his own terms. Giving him the choice/ownership has work out well.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Are there any resources available for outsourcing some of this?  A homeschool co-op?  Another homeschool family that could tutor?  Just to get some of this off your shoulders for a bit?

 

Can you just all take an agreed upon 1 week break this next week and pick a project you could all work on together that doesn't involve academics?  Just to give you all a bit of a reset.  It won't solve the bigger issues but it might help.  I know that makes it seem like you are losing more ground but it has definitely helped us in the past.  Like, maybe you could all declutter the house and have a garage sale.  Proceeds get divided up among those that worked to make it happen and can be spent on whatever (within reason).  Or explore quadrants of your city/town for interesting things to do that don't cost much.  Do some research.  Or pick a new skill to learn.  Start a club.  Just something to change up your lives and reinvigorate you all.  

 

Do your kids have outside interests?  Do you?

 

FWIW, my kids started doing a lot better once we really pressed hard to find outside interests and helped them improve in those areas.  It gave them purpose for working on academics again and gave them something they felt good about doing that was not related to the academics.  Also, DD and DS found they had talents and interests they had not known about until we started pressing to do things other than traditional academics on a regular basis.  

 

And recently a group of homeschool moms and I started meeting for coffee every Thursday while our kids are in a robotics class.  We keep costs low by just getting a big pitcher of coffee but meeting with these women just to talk really helps revitalize me.  I was not getting that before and it was draining....

 

I know when I am burned out it affects everything.  Sending huge hugs of support.  So sorry you are at this point with no easy options.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[luuknam]

Could you relax about the capitalization rules for now? I agree that eventually, she really should use them for formal communications, including essays in college (or high school if she goes to a B&M one), but I think maybe it's time to pick your battles and let minor things like that slide. It's not a prereq for other skills. So maybe you could tell her: "Look, I'm not going to worry about capitalization for now. You can use it or not use it. I find it easier to read things written with proper capitalization, and a lot of people find it easier to read things written with proper capitalization, which is why there are these rules. When you eventually go to B&M high school/college, your teachers are going to care, and they will subtract points if you don't. If you write a job application without capitalizing things correctly, you're unlikely to get the job. But for now, it's up to you. I'll help you when you're ready to care.". Or something like that.

 

Of course, I don't know how many of these kinds of issues you have. Was this one example from a long list, or just something that you're more stressed about than is strictly necessary? If she's struggling with a lot of things, even though she seems to be trying, it might be worth it to have her evaluated for some sort of learning disability. There are plenty of 2e (twice exceptional) kids out there, who are gifted and have a learning disability. Even if she doesn't seem to be trying, it could still be because of some sort of learning disability - some kids just give up.

 

:grouphug:

[idnib]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I agree that the 11 year old might benefit from an evaluation if she's both brilliant but cannot remember to capitalize the first letter of a sentence and is struggling with MM4.

 

It sounds like maybe the younger needs to have a more self-directed experience. Perhaps encourage her to take the lead?

 

I agree with putting the books away for a few weeks and moving to field trips, drawing, music, science projects, unit studies, etc. and letting them help you figure it out. This time of year they could do a plant study, nature walk, make a garden, etc.

 

I'm right there with you on the middle school issue.  :thumbdown:

[OneStepAtATime]

Yes, I agree, you might want to seek evaluations.  There may be very specific underlying causes for the struggles.   Issues that might be fixable if you knew what they were.

 

For instance, when DS was evaluated, the evaluator pointed out that if he was using material with an auditory component and color his scores were way above grade level.  If he had no auditory component and no color, his scores dropped like a stone.  I mean rock bottom.  Having that critical piece of info made a huge difference in being able to teach him effectively right now but also to help him to find ways to scaffold his weaknesses later on (like getting a textbook on audio to reinforce his reading or picking more colorful resources when possible).

 

Until that eval I had no idea how critical audio and color were for the way DS learns.  But DD?  The audio component doesn't affect her learning ability hardly at all.   Color?  Actually becomes distracting to her.  For academic work she does better with black and white.  She has different strengths and weaknesses than DS so we had to do different things with her.  The evaluations were huge eye openers.  What I just mentioned was only the tip of the ice berg.  The kids and DH and I were all so relieved after evals gave us a much better understanding of strengths and weaknesses.  HUGE help.  

[shinyhappypeople]

I appreciate your support!

 

We're on track to get 11 yo DD evaluated for learning disabilities and maybe ADHD.  Just waiting on the callback from the university that's doing it (doctoral program, not a normal private practice).  Oh, and vision therapy for her convergence insufficiency That starts in May.

 

I've been homeschooling for 6 years and very little has gone as planned.  Remember the saying, "We plan; God laughs." ? Yeah.  That's my life right now.  

 

I realized yesterday that I have no outside activities that are separate from my kids or homeschooling.  Heck, I don't think I even have any friends that aren't somehow related to homeschooling.

 

This is not healthy.  I need a life.

[OneStepAtATime]

I appreciate your support!

 

We're on track to get 11 yo DD evaluated for learning disabilities and maybe ADHD.  Just waiting on the callback from the university that's doing it (doctoral program, not a normal private practice).  Oh, and vision therapy for her convergence insufficiency That starts in May.

 

I've been homeschooling for 6 years and very little has gone as planned.  Remember the saying, "We plan; God laughs." ? Yeah.  That's my life right now.  

 

I realized yesterday that I have no outside activities that are separate from my kids or homeschooling.  Heck, I don't think I even have any friends that aren't somehow related to homeschooling.

 

This is not healthy.  I need a life.

Oh, honey I understand.  You ALL need outside activities and friends.  

 

And since you are getting evals, but don't have them yet, I would change my game plan for now.  Shake things up.  Do fun things.  Play mathy games, do audio books, pick a cool project to work on.  And really press to find things you can all do outside of home based academics.  Pick a skill you want to improve or whatever.  Work to feed all of you not just check academic boxes.  BTDT.  It was not a healthy dynamic to fall into.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[LLMom]

I appreciate your support!

 

We're on track to get 11 yo DD evaluated for learning disabilities and maybe ADHD. Just waiting on the callback from the university that's doing it (doctoral program, not a normal private practice). Oh, and vision therapy for her convergence insufficiency That starts in May.

 

I've been homeschooling for 6 years and very little has gone as planned. Remember the saying, "We plan; God laughs." ? Yeah. That's my life right now.

 

I realized yesterday that I have no outside activities that are separate from my kids or homeschooling. Heck, I don't think I even have any friends that aren't somehow related to homeschooling.

 

This is not healthy. I need a life.

Yes, please take care of yourself. We moms can't have our whole identity wrapped in our kids or homeschooling because it will end some day. There are many options that others have listed that are good--outsourcing, school, letting some things go, take a break. Choose one and try it; you can always change your mind. And school is a good option for some, and it is not a failure to try that. Feel free to visit my blog to see all my info on burnout.

[purplejackmama]

Wanna meet for a cup of coffee?! I hear ya, sister. It's so.darn.tough.

 

No words of wisdom or I would use them myself ;)

 

Just hugs!!

[OneStepAtATime]

My son wants to invent an instant transporter so he can go see lots of cool places without having to make his travel phobic sister unhappy (she gets motion sick). I'll get him working on that then when it is done we can all pick a day each week where our kids can play and we will hang out and visit. I have a friend who can watch the kids. Any takers? :)

[Critterfixer]

When was the last time YOU took a break for you? I'm often guilty of giving my children breaks while I 1) work, 2) work or 3) work. You know of what I speak. I am getting uptight, fractious, and tired. I checked my calendar and the last time I took a week off that didn't involve me and work was in mid-February. The boys have had a Spring Break, had days off for standardized testing, and days off just because I had to work. My days "off" have been filled with things that do not allow me one minute to relax. 

Now I can't take one right now. But I booked my "retreat" for May, and I will be keeping it free from work. There will be no projects, no planning, standard housekeeping and I plan to spend an hour every morning walking with a dog or two and enjoying the freedom to do so. In the meantime I have set aside an extra half hour or so a night to write, which is the way I like to relax. Maybe with some classical music in the background. And a hot cup of decaf. 

 

You can't change what you have right now. And you are doing what needs to be done as far as evaluations go, so you are in a holding pattern. It seems like this would be a good time to take care of yourself. Take a minimum of thirty minutes a day (an hour is better) to just pamper yourself. Plan a week or more to relax at a good stopping point and recuperate. Pushing through is one thing. But you know what? It's a marathon. It's a long way to the finish line. Walk! Nobody ever said you had to run the whole way! :grouphug:

 

[mama25angels]

When was the last time YOU took a break for you? I'm often guilty of giving my children breaks while I 1) work, 2) work or 3) work. You know of what I speak. I am getting uptight, fractious, and tired. I checked my calendar and the last time I took a week off that didn't involve me and work was in mid-February. The boys have had a Spring Break, had days off for standardized testing, and days off just because I had to work. My days "off" have been filled with things that do not allow me one minute to relax. 

Now I can't take one right now. But I booked my "retreat" for May, and I will be keeping it free from work. There will be no projects, no planning, standard housekeeping and I plan to spend an hour every morning walking with a dog or two and enjoying the freedom to do so. In the meantime I have set aside an extra half hour or so a night to write, which is the way I like to relax. Maybe with some classical music in the background. And a hot cup of decaf. 

 

You can't change what you have right now. And you are doing what needs to be done as far as evaluations go, so you are in a holding pattern. It seems like this would be a good time to take care of yourself. Take a minimum of thirty minutes a day (an hour is better) to just pamper yourself. Plan a week or more to relax at a good stopping point and recuperate. Pushing through is one thing. But you know what? It's a marathon. It's a long way to the finish line. Walk! Nobody ever said you had to run the whole way! :grouphug:

 

:iagree: with everything said in this post!!!!!! And more :grouphug:

 

[momacacia]

On loving to read....

 

I didn't love reading but I eventually fell in love with great literature my jr and sr year of high school. At your kids ages, my mom had to *pay* me to read Little House books. Page 100 got me a trip to pick something out at the 5&10 store.

 

I ended up practicing law...there's hope. ;) (I mean, if you wouldn't mind your kids being lawyers anyway. Lol.)

[NikiSC]

I appreciate your support!

 

We're on track to get 11 yo DD evaluated for learning disabilities and maybe ADHD. Just waiting on the callback from the university that's doing it (doctoral program, not a normal private practice). Oh, and vision therapy for her convergence insufficiency That starts in May.

 

I've been homeschooling for 6 years and very little has gone as planned. Remember the saying, "We plan; God laughs." ? Yeah. That's my life right now.

 

I realized yesterday that I have no outside activities that are separate from my kids or homeschooling. Heck, I don't think I even have any friends that aren't somehow related to homeschooling.

 

This is not healthy. I need a life.

I'm right there with ya!

I realized this past week that I have no outside interests. I don't even have a TV show that I can't miss. Lol. This isn't a life. We've been dealing with learning struggles for awhile, so I know there's a long road ahead of us. I can't go on like this & neither should you!

[shinyhappypeople]

I was thinking about what would feel good, right, authentic for our homeschool right now given our realities, strengths, and challenges:

 

For both:

 

Teach them to play chess, read aloud missionary stories, play math war (for facts practice), work more in our TOPS Electricity book because it's fun, and other than that, let them binge on "junk food" books and magazines for pure pleasure

 

(11 yo found Diary of a Wimpy Kid and wants to read the whole series.  If she wanted to I'd let her read that series all.day.long. )

 

 

... and I won't be able to stop myself from adding other stuff, because clearly I have Issues, but doesn't that sound awesome?!

 

 

Pool weather is here (sorry, people in the Great White North).  I think we could all use the sunshine and relaxation.  Got our first watermelon of the year today, too :)

[shinyhappypeople]

I'm right there with ya!

I realized this past week that I have no outside interests. I don't even have a TV show that I can't miss. Lol. This isn't a life. We've been dealing with learning struggles for awhile, so I know there's a long road ahead of us. I can't go on like this & neither should you!

 

You know, that's what my problem is. Blacklist has been on break for the past few weeks.  :toetap05: 

 

I love Blacklist. (understatement)

 

And Red isn't Lizzie's father... in case anyone is wondering.  

[FloridaLisa]

When was the last time YOU took a break for you? I'm often guilty of giving my children breaks while I 1) work, 2) work or 3) work. You know of what I speak. I am getting uptight, fractious, and tired. I checked my calendar and the last time I took a week off that didn't involve me and work was in mid-February. The boys have had a Spring Break, had days off for standardized testing, and days off just because I had to work. My days "off" have been filled with things that do not allow me one minute to relax. 

Now I can't take one right now. But I booked my "retreat" for May, and I will be keeping it free from work. There will be no projects, no planning, standard housekeeping and I plan to spend an hour every morning walking with a dog or two and enjoying the freedom to do so. In the meantime I have set aside an extra half hour or so a night to write, which is the way I like to relax. Maybe with some classical music in the background. And a hot cup of decaf. 

 

You can't change what you have right now. And you are doing what needs to be done as far as evaluations go, so you are in a holding pattern. It seems like this would be a good time to take care of yourself. Take a minimum of thirty minutes a day (an hour is better) to just pamper yourself. Plan a week or more to relax at a good stopping point and recuperate. Pushing through is one thing. But you know what? It's a marathon. It's a long way to the finish line. Walk! Nobody ever said you had to run the whole way! :grouphug:

 

 

I was thinking about what would feel good, right, authentic for our homeschool right now given our realities, strengths, and challenges:

 

For both:

 

Teach them to play chess, read aloud missionary stories, play math war (for facts practice), work more in our TOPS Electricity book because it's fun, and other than that, let them binge on "junk food" books and magazines for pure pleasure

 

(11 yo found Diary of a Wimpy Kid and wants to read the whole series.  If she wanted to I'd let her read that series all.day.long. )

 

 

... and I won't be able to stop myself from adding other stuff, because clearly I have Issues, but doesn't that sound awesome?!

 

 

Pool weather is here (sorry, people in the Great White North).  I think we could all use the sunshine and relaxation.  Got our first watermelon of the year today, too :)

 

Yes! When I start to feel like I'm completely done a change in our normal routine is so helpful! Mix it up by taking some books out to breakfast or lunch or a park. Go to the museum, plan a field trip, trips to the library or the IMAX. These are things that really help me reinvigorate so that I can keep going. 

 

Also, can you take a Saturday off or weekend off for a personal retreat time? 

 

Getting out always helps me get a new perspective on what we're doing and it is so very healthy for all of us. Sometimes, our little bubble is too confining and you need to breathe in and out outside of the routines that you've created. 

 

Lisa

[mama27]

I know exactly how you feel! I've been doing this for 13 YEARS and I'm tired. I'm so sick to death of phonics! If by small chance I ever have another child (we have 7) that kid will have to teach itself how to read! I have 2 that are still learning how to read and I'm so over this.

For 13 YEARS I have been looking for that "spark", you know the one. It's in all the eyes of all the moms who do this unit or that craft or that book or this lapbook or that experiment or spend 5 days building these elaborate, wonderful, fantastic, life-long memorable, something with their kids. Well, I actually got it last week for the FIRST time EVER. Why? Because I switched all my kids to textbooks/workbooks for everything, with only one read aloud by me, and when my 9 yo ds found out he was done for the day, his eyes light up like nothing I've seen! BECAUSE HE WAS DONE!!! So, I've spent the past 13 years doing all these things to make them interested in learning something, make them love reading, etc, etc. And really, all they ever wanted was to be done. Just done.

 

So now I need a hobby or something because really I do have extra time already, last week was the least stress free wee I've had in a LONG time. Today has been the first Sunday in God only knows how long, that I haven't planned a single homeschool thing.

[birchbark]

I have homeschooled nine years now and this was the first year I really wanted to quit. Those teen hormones have really been hitting and even though I felt I was prepared for that, it's been tough. I'm just so tired of being the bad guy, you know? On top of that I feel very isolated right now and don't have much of a life outside of homeschooling. DH and I even seriously considered a move out of state so we could put our oldest in a good private school. We made some changes which were good for DS but I'm still feeling the burnout. We just got back from our homeschool conference where I cried in at least one session on high school.

 

If I were you I would outsource writing and math and cover the rest with unschooling or Robinson-read-through-this-booklist-for-a-couple-hours-a-day kind of way. DS took an online course this year and it has been great, so he will be doing a total of three next year. The rest will be on his own with Dad as the accountability person. I'm officially moving into the facilitator role with him!

[Joyoustxmama]

I'm sorry, that sounds so hard. I'm only finishing up our first K year here, but let me say it was a burst bubble in many ways. Meltdowns, groans, tantrums... I often told my 6 year old I would put him into (the very crappy) schools in our area (it was an empty desperate pathetic mom moment threat, I have no palatable options here besides homeschool, myself, so feel your pain).

 

Mine is nowhere near the age or cognitive reasoning capacity of yours, but I did find that figuring out his learning style (social kinesthetic or 'wiggly willie hands-on' -as inconvenient to prep with a toddler underfoot, and opposite my own style preferences as possible) and aggressively eliminating programs counter to this, regardless of how fantastic or promising I found them, has helped...some.

 

Asking him what he likes to do, and giving him choice whenever possible, has helped.

 

Cutting school to four days a week, has helped. One day is a fun day. We free play or go to co-op (which is basically social play) and we eat the kind of junky lunch that comes with a toy that he begs for, and we watch tv, and we just relax. These are all treats he would not get if attending a 'regular school' 8-3 five days/week.

 

Also just being fair, non-patronizing, and direct, as in "dad has responsibility, mom has responsibility, and learning x is your responsibility. Please have a good attitude and get it done, as you are stressing me out with your grouchy mood. Not everything is fun," type talks, has helped.

 

I had visions pre-experience of such an ideal homeschool that all learning would be loved, and fun, and charlotte mason delightful... but mine has hated learning to read, has pronounced fine motor delays, and honestly there is absolutely no program in any subject I will ever find (excepting science experiments) that he will love more than being outside digging in his sandbox or watching Octonauts or going to an aquarium or park. Just had to make my peace with it: my kid is probably not going to be in love with academics. He does not want to make lapbooks. He has no interest in discussing the art in "Come Look with Me" books I excitedly bought last year. Unless I unschool, and I'm so not there, our homeschool will likely be a series of constant compromises that we get through as peacefully as possible each day.

[idnib]

shinyhappypeople, how are you feeling today?  :grouphug:

[shinyhappypeople]

shinyhappypeople, how are you feeling today?  :grouphug:

 

Fine... better.  Girls are halfway done through their work and are taking a pool break.  (I totally wussed out on my fantasy school day.)

 

And then I read this blog post.

 

It's not often that I feel like telling someone to STFU, but this one just... ugh.  It's like those obnoxious Christmas newsletter "Johnny is captain of the football team and feeds orphans in his spare time.  Suzy is top of her 1st grade class and taught her teacher some new phonics tricks!  Life is colorful, and happy, and so wonderful!!!"

 

^_^  cue This Song (sooooo appropriate)

 

My attitude is unkind and in serious need of adjusting.  I'm not defending my ugly internal response.  But, yeah, that's my day.  It really is okay.  I just need to erase that blog post from my mind and focus on the fact that the kids are in the pool and not bickering.  

[Hot Lava Mama]

SWB has a new audio lecture on burn out.  I just finished listening to it.  It is VERY helpful.  You might want to take a listen to it.  She talks about how to identify what the cause of burn out is and how to figure out a resolution.  Basically, you need to keep a log to figure out the cause...is it a particular kid, a particular subject, a particular time of day, etc.  Then she gives you some tools on figuring out what would be the best solution for your family. 

Good luck.

Hot Lava Mama

[birchbark]

And then I read this blog post.

 

K and 1st grade are the hardest years to homeschool?     :smilielol5:

 

 

 

:leaving:

[FairProspects]

K and 1st grade are the hardest years to homeschool?     :smilielol5:

 

 

 

:leaving:

 

And in what world is an 11 y.o. a 4th grader? No wonder he isn't complaining if she is using 4th grade materials. Assuming he is a neurotypical learner, he is completing work at 1-2 years below grade level. (Disclaimer - I know nothing about this blogger or her materials. I just don't think those ages line up with the grade level signs unless it was a very old pic or unrelated.)

[Alte Veste Academy]

K and 1st grade are the hardest years to homeschool?     :smilielol5:

 

 

 

:leaving:

 

:iagree: Those years were a cake walk compared to the middle grades. 

[OneStepAtATime]

:iagree: Those years were a cake walk compared to the middle grades. 

:iagree: , too.  :)

 

In fact, can I have K and 1st back please?  I would LOVE to do K and 1st again, even though we weren't homeschooling at the time.  Soooo wishing the kids were homeschooling in K and 1st now, but I had all the knowledge and experience gained from our years getting to Middle School...including brick and mortar and homeschooling, KWIM?  :)

[Guest]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: 

 

I'm glad today is better.

[Garga]

That blog! Oh my! I don't want to pick the woman apart so I'll refrain from commenting on each and every thing she wrote, but her experiences are completely 180-opposite to mine. The promises that she gives to people teaching K and 1st that it'll get easier are...irresponsible.

 

I am not burned out and it was very difficult to read. OP, I can't imagine how irritating it would have felt to read it while you're burned out.

[Guest Space_Elf]

I'd mostly like to say how enlightening this thread is. My parents homeschooled me off and on until I was 16. I only recently started considering how it looked from their perspective and now I dearly wish that they'd had a resource like this site for all the challenges I put them through.

 

Now though I am not a parent and have no strong grasp of your financial situation, here's an idea to keep in mind. Ask your kids to make their own curriculum for say a semester? Ask them to plan out exactly what subjects (must include all core subjects even if only in review) and what their weekly schedule should look like. I know I worked a lot harder and complained less when I felt that doing math on Tuesday was my idea.

 

Also, as several others have mentioned, do remember to leave a day a week for fun and don't over schedule. My mom was very prone to planning every minute of the day, which was probably the greatest mistake. Maybe every four days should be an official day off. No planned activities, just let everyone do whatever they want. Read all day in bed, hang out with friends, go pick flowers in the yard. The point is not to worry about a schedule now and again.

[idnib]

Fine... better.  Girls are halfway done through their work and are taking a pool break.  (I totally wussed out on my fantasy school day.)

 

And then I read this blog post.

 

It's not often that I feel like telling someone to STFU, but this one just... ugh.  It's like those obnoxious Christmas newsletter "Johnny is captain of the football team and feeds orphans in his spare time.  Suzy is top of her 1st grade class and taught her teacher some new phonics tricks!  Life is colorful, and happy, and so wonderful!!!"

 

^_^  cue This Song (sooooo appropriate)

 

My attitude is unkind and in serious need of adjusting.  I'm not defending my ugly internal response.  But, yeah, that's my day.  It really is okay.  I just need to erase that blog post from my mind and focus on the fact that the kids are in the pool and not bickering.  

 

Yeah, just don't read any blog posts right now. It's better that way.

 

I'm glad the girls got some pool time. Have you given any more thought to pulling back for a bit?

[Alte Veste Academy]

:iagree: , too.   :)

 

In fact, can I have K and 1st back please?  I would LOVE to do K and 1st again, even though we weren't homeschooling at the time.  Soooo wishing the kids were homeschooling in K and 1st now, but I had all the knowledge and experience gained from our years getting to Middle School...including brick and mortar and homeschooling, KWIM?   :)

 

LOL, yes.

 

It is looking more and more like my post-homeschool dream is to open up a little homespun Charlotte Mason preschool. After diapers, before K, that sweet spot when I was perfect. (<----joke) But those were some sweet, simple times...

[OneStepAtATime]

LOL, yes.

 

It is looking more and more like my post-homeschool dream is to open up a little homespun Charlotte Mason preschool. After diapers, before K, that sweet spot when I was perfect. (<----joke) But those were some sweet, simple times...

Sounds great!

 

And OP so glad things are better.  Big big hugs.

[Arcadia]

And then I read this blog post.

Where is her humility :lol:

 

Take it a day at a time and have something that is for yourself whether it is personal reading time, coffee time, knitting time...

 

ETA:

I think it is harder as a homeschool mom to remember to have a self identity. There were times when I was thinking of rejoining the workforce because of the "lost" of self identity.

I am glad my kids are at a full day class once a week so I have time for me. When my kids are in their Saturday class, I have time to just stroll and window shop with hubby.

 

ETA:

My 9 year old only reads non-fiction for pleasure. He is not keen on fiction but will read for literature. I have daily checklist for him in his planner and he knows how to get his work done and check it off his checklist. My older is just intense and self driven.

[LLMom]

I know exactly how you feel! I've been doing this for 13 YEARS and I'm tired. I'm so sick to death of phonics! If by small chance I ever have another child (we have 7) that kid will have to teach itself how to read! I have 2 that are still learning how to read and I'm so over this.

For 13 YEARS I have been looking for that "spark", you know the one. It's in all the eyes of all the moms who do this unit or that craft or that book or this lapbook or that experiment or spend 5 days building these elaborate, wonderful, fantastic, life-long memorable, something with their kids. Well, I actually got it last week for the FIRST time EVER. Why? Because I switched all my kids to textbooks/workbooks for everything, with only one read aloud by me, and when my 9 yo ds found out he was done for the day, his eyes light up like nothing I've seen! BECAUSE HE WAS DONE!!! So, I've spent the past 13 years doing all these things to make them interested in learning something, make them love reading, etc, etc. And really, all they ever wanted was to be done. Just done.

 

So now I need a hobby or something because really I do have extra time already, last week was the least stress free wee I've had in a LONG time. Today has been the first Sunday in God only knows how long, that I haven't planned a single homeschool thing.

 

This happened to me as well.  Several of my children could care less about hands on projects, living books, etc.  They just wanted to get it done. 

[KrissiK]

This happened to me as well. Several of my children could care less about hands on projects, living books, etc. They just wanted to get it done.

Same here! My kids have never been interested in learning and I think that the people who say that all kids are interested in something, it's the parents' fault for not making those resources available and creating an environment that children can follow their passions (with the assumption that is somehow academic) is a little over reaching. Our Charlotte Mason-esque nature walks have always devolved into dirt clod throwing argumentative stick fights. Their drawings of nature are 30 second scrawls so we can get back to throwing rocks. We go to the library every week and they check out Smurf graphic novels and Lego Nintendo videos. I'm sure that for some kids providing an environment that is rich in... Whatever, books, hands-on stuff, interest lead stuff works well, but for my kids.... we just get school done. Even history, which I love and have so many biographies and great living books... we do A Beka history because they could care less about any of it. They just want to go out and play.

 

I think some of us (me) start out with young children and beautiful curriculum catalogs and we read TWTM and get this idealized view of how homeschooling should be. And we believe the rhetoric that anyone can homeschool, and if your kids aren't cooperating then it's a parenting problem... and I don't think that's true at all. Yes, homeschooling is a great thing, but I'm starting to believe that it's not the right answer for everyone.

[OneStepAtATime]

 

I think some of us (me) start out with young children and beautiful curriculum catalogs and we read TWTM and get this idealized view of how homeschooling should be. And we believe the rhetoric that anyone can homeschool, and if your kids aren't cooperating then it's a parenting problem... and I don't think that's true at all. Yes, homeschooling is a great thing, but I'm starting to believe that it's not the right answer for everyone.

:iagree:

 

Homeschooling isn't for everyone.  It isn't for every child and it isn't for every parent.  DD and DS were in brick and mortar for years.  DS thrived there.  DD did not.  DD is thriving as a homeschooler.  DS isn't.  He is doing o.k.  We are making it.  Brick and mortar is not an option right now, for various reasons, but DS was happier and did better in school (well, until our abysmal experience with 2nd grade...).

[ByGrace3]

Hugs sweet mama.  :grouphug: I have been there too often this school year. Like today.  :crying:  2.5 hours. 1 math test. It was a train wreck. I sit here thinking, this would never fly in school. He could not have this major of a meltdown. He would be failing. And then I work myself into a frustrated pile of anxiety. We have 4 weeks left until "summer break." Yes older dd will have to continue math and writing for a few more weeks, but ds should be done. Younger dd will spend the summer getting ready for K because I have slacked off big time with her this year. 

 

It's hard to not feel like a failure when your kids struggle. We take every struggle personally. Homeschooling is no joke. 

 

A few weeks ago we took a few days off. It was amazing how I felt after a few days of not schooling. It has given me the strength to finish out this year. (except for the awful math test thing today!)  :huh:

 

I don't have answers. We are where you are. But I can share what we are working through to make it better. 

 

When summer comes, we will take 2 weeks off. We need it. 2 weeks. no school. We will then pick up the few things we have to continue (writing and math for dd. Read alouds and math review for everyone)

 

Focus on the whole experience, not just the curriculum academics. 

Every morning when I hear my kids practicing piano or doing Bible, I think-- those 2 things are huge successes. They play an instrument and are being rooted and grounded in God's Word. Don't hear me saying that academics are not important. They are. But they are not the end all. They are just a part of the big picture. 

 

We had done a lot of field trips this year. A lot. Great experiences. They count as "school." So maybe we only got halfway through the grammar book...ah. Grammar repeats every year so we will finish the book next year. Just keep going. 

 

My goal for this year was Teaching from Rest. I feel like I failed big time. So what next? Regroup for next year. I have made a few changes in curriculum that take some of the pressure off of me. Independent history and science. A co-op for science. A lower key grammar. 

 

We plan to start next year with circle time. Scripture memory, catechism memory, poem and hymn memorization, and a read aloud. The important stuff. ;) I need to start my day working on my relationship with my kids-- that is critical. 

 

About an hour ago I texted an SOS to dh that ds needed to be in private school. Unfortunately this was not the first text of this nature this year. Part of me truly wishes to send him. The part that thinks I am part of the problem. With me removed from the equation would he do better? I don't know...maybe. Maybe not. 

 

I so badly want my kids to love to read. They don't love to read the way I think they should. It saddens me. But they enjoy learning and read in a different context. DS reads everything he can about animals-- we have a ton of animal encyclopedias and other animal Usborne books and he devours them. Handed him a book on learning chess and he is telling me about new moves and strategies he has learned. 

 

Sometimes success is there-- it just doesn't look like we thought it would and sometimes we miss it. 

 

My biggest goal right now? Enjoying my kids. I have focused too much on fault and what we are lacking. I want to enjoy them as the amazing little humans they are. Not constantly focused on the fact that they are not hitting academic milestones when I think they should. They are delightful little people developing in their own time. I just need to back off more. 

 

Not sure if any of this is helpful...it's just where I am today! :) Hugs! 

[PeterPan]

nt

 

 

[idnib]

Hugs sweet mama.  :grouphug: I have been there too often this school year. Like today.  :crying:  2.5 hours. 1 math test. It was a train wreck. I sit here thinking, this would never fly in school. He could not have this major of a meltdown. He would be failing. And then I work myself into a frustrated pile of anxiety. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[ByGrace3]

:iagree: Those years were a cake walk compared to the middle grades.

Just stop. You are freaking me out!!!

 

:lol:

 

Perhaps it is a perception thing. A parent or child personality thing? K-2 have been the hardest for me. Once phonics is completed and they are reading -- the scheule seems to free up a bit...3rd and 4th have seemed like cake walks in comparison.

 

Oh wait. Perhaps it has something to do with WHO I have been completing k-2 with most recently...yes perhaps that is it.

;)

 

I have no experience past homeschooling 4th grade, so all of your comments are freaking me out. Eek.

[shinyhappypeople]

Yeah, just don't read any blog posts right now. It's better that way.

 

I'm glad the girls got some pool time. Have you given any more thought to pulling back for a bit?

 

Yeah, but I just can't.  The idea of pulling back stresses me out MORE, because DD wants the option of attending a private B&M high school, so we have until August 2017 to have her near grade level in math (*minimum* ready for pre-algebra), and able to write a coherent essay.  

 

As of TODAY she is working solidly at a 3rd/ 4th grade level in writing and math (actually dipping into MM3 "Add/Subtract" unit, then back into MM4).  So I just don't feel like we have the luxury of time.   She's bright, and with diligence I believe we can get her up to speed enough to be successful at the private school, but we need to keep plugging away.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Just stop. You are freaking me out!!!

 

:lol:

 

Perhaps it is a perception thing. A parent or child personality thing? K-2 have been the hardest for me. Once phonics is completed and they are reading -- the scheule seems to free up a bit...3rd and 4th have seemed like cake walks in comparison.

 

Oh wait. Perhaps it has something to do with WHO I have been completing k-2 with most recently...yes perhaps that is it.

;)

 

I have no experience past homeschooling 4th grade, so all of your comments are freaking me out. Eek.

 

Sorry! I should have qualified that with my take-away annoyance about that woman's post. She has two kids and that is her experience—with her personality, strengths, weaknesses, etc and those of her kids. We are all different, whether we have one kid or a dozen. And all of those kids are different, so of course our experiences are all going to be different. My point was she stated that it gets easier like it is a fact, and I found that extremely annoying. Because she doesn't know me, my kids, or the vast majority of the audience of her blog. It's just flat out nonsense to reassure people you don't know of a promise that may never come to fruition.

 

It's all perspective. Don't let my POV freak you out. :) My comments are mostly just me yearning for ease. I am lazier than I like to admit. :tongue_smilie:

[Guest]

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