X-Post: Can this boy learn to handle literature?

[Maus]

So, the problem is, DS12 and I have decided to have him do BYUonline for Middle School. (It will be paid for by the charter/homeschool partner facilitator we use, and we like that someone else will take care of the transcript, which he hopes to use to get into a local STEM charter that does dual enrollment.) All the classes look easy for him, except English, because they read literature, and he won't get to pick the book.

 

He is smart, but a very black & white, literal thinker, and very sensitive. Like “drama queen†sensitive. He has OCD, and has a hard time letting go of obsessive thoughts.

 

So, we've listened to books 1-6 of Harry Potter as a family. He handled the death in Book 4 fairly well, but the death in Book 6 really upset him. It took four days of processing before he'd let us finish the book.

 

Likewise, when we saw “Into the Woods†at the Shakespeare Festival last year, the second half left him in tears, and the very name of the play is now forbidden at our house. (Haven't seen the movie. Heard they toned some stuff down?)

 

I'm not sure how to prepare him for next fall. I did think maybe we'd start working on literary analysis, to help with the black & white thinking, but the sensitivity is a whole different issue.

 

So, I'm thinking I need to teach him to understand symbolism, and why an author might choose to have certain characters die, and why that is sometimes necessary to move the story on. And to step back from the story, emotionally.

 

Anybody out there who has successfully navigated a child like this into handling literature? What did you use? How did you approach it?

[OneStepAtATime]

Wow, that's tough.  No good suggestions, but  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  and best wishes.

[Arcadia]

:grouphug: my older isn't sensitive but there are books that he just isn't interested in analyzing.

 

Do you have the book list? Is it choose from a list of books or is it all the books in the list are compulsory?

 

When my older gets to pick from an approved list, it was easy since we can avoid the ones he didn't like. When it is required reading, we read the summer before school starts. We were with K12 VA.

[Maus]

:grouphug: my older isn't sensitive but there are books that he just isn't interested in analyzing.

 

Do you have the book list? Is it choose from a list of books or is it all the books in the list are compulsory?

 

When my older gets to pick from an approved list, it was easy since we can avoid the ones he didn't like. When it is required reading, we read the summer before school starts. We were with K12 VA.

They are compulsory, unfortunately.  We probably will get a head start, and I will probably read with him.  Not sure what else to do.

[SparklyUnicorn]

FWIW, I'm very sensitive.  I cry over books all the time.  I think unless he is traumatized beyond repair, it's ok he gets upset.  If I wanted to avoid being upset, I would have to stop reading a lot of books.

 

 

[Farrar]

I agree with Sparkly that you should think of the goal to help him learn to work through the emotion rather than avoid it or get rid of it. Do you think he might be old enough to read about the role of catharsis in literature? I mean, that's really what you want - you want him to move through all the emotions and then come out the other side having mourned the character's death or whatever.

 

Deconstructing Penguins is a good resource for early literary criticism. I think short stories and picture books are a good way to tackle diving in with harder themes for kids.

[Lori D.]

He is smart, but a very black & white, literal thinker, and very sensitive. Like “drama queen†sensitive. He has OCD, and has a hard time letting go of obsessive thoughts...

 

… I'm not sure how to prepare him for next fall. I did think maybe we'd start working on literary analysis, to help with the black & white thinking, but the sensitivity is a whole different issue...

 

I agree with Sparkly that you should think of the goal to help him learn to work through the emotion rather than avoid it or get rid of it. Do you think he might be old enough to read about the role of catharsis in literature? I mean, that's really what you want - you want him to move through all the emotions and then come out the other side having mourned the character's death or whatever.

 

Agree. But I'm also wondering if working on some specific behavioral techniques for managing the highly literal / black & white thinking / obsessive thoughts might be a good FIRST step. And then once those are in place, move into dealing specifically with the literature.

 

A good therapist could get you started with techniques that would be especially geared for this particular young man's OCD, and could probably also suggest ways of working on the literature sensitivities…

 

I also suggest this because the earlier you can implement therapies, meds, or treatments the better. OCD is similar to depression (which I have suffered from), in that the longer it goes untreated, the "deeper the ruts" it creates in the brain and the harder it becomes to overcome those ways of thinking -- your brain "runs to the ruts" because it has established so many connections there. Helping a 12yo create new thinking patterns to replace obsessive patterns is SO much easier than helping a 20yo… or 35yo… For example, I was 13yo when I first manifesting depression, but not diagnosed until early 30s -- so 20 years of repeated deepening of the depressive patterns… ug.

 

Offered gently and meant with all best wishes! :) Warmest, Lori D.

[Maus]

He does see a therapist.  I'll have to ask the therapist specifically about the sensitivities and see what he suggests.

 

Does Deconstructing Penguins talk about Catharsis? (Someone mentioned How to Read Literature Like Professor For Kids on the X-Post.  Maybe that does?)  He probably would understand the concept, at least intellectually, so that's a good idea.

[Critterfixer]

I think learning the elements of plot and character might be helpful. It certainly helps to know that suspense is a reaction to good literary development of conflict, and that characters behave in certain ways to advance plot. You learn to develop reasonable expectations of what is "likely" to happen in the story and can anticipate what your reaction might be. 

There are still things that are hard for me to take emotionally despite understanding why they happened and why the author chose to use the images he did. I have very vivid memories of some particular passages of Bambi, for instance, that give me a sick feeling in my gut to think of them. But at least I can step back now and understand why those particular scenes were valuable in advancing the plot and theme of the story.

I don't know how the OCD would play in to this situation. I just happen to think very visually. Don't know if that helps. Analysis doesn't remove the visual impact, or the emotional impact, but it might be helpful in learning how to handle those things.

[Lori D.]

He does see a therapist.  I'll have to ask the therapist specifically about the sensitivities and see what he suggests.

 

Best wishes for good success in that process! :)

 

 

Does Deconstructing Penguins talk about Catharsis? (Someone mentioned How to Read Literature Like Professor For Kids on the X-Post.  Maybe that does?)  He probably would understand the concept, at least intellectually, so that's a good idea.

 

No. In fact, I can't think of any curricula off-hand that cover catharsis. But here are a few web explanations and examples to try out:

 

Soft Schools: Catharsis

Study.com: What is Catharsis?

Wikipedia: Catharsis -- you'll probably have to adapt this to fit DS, but it has a bit more info; and sometimes black & white thinkers click better with "academic" explanations, to start with

 

 

You might try using children's books your DS is familiar with that you read some years back, so that he remembers the story, but the emotion is not raw or fresh.

 

Or try using fairy tales. Take a fairy tale he's familiar with and has enjoyed, that has a hero/heroine who triumphs after first struggling through a lot of set-backs or accomplishing a lot of near-impossible tasks. Talk about how fiction lets us experience all kinds of things we wouldn't get to experience in real life (magic adventures of fairy tales), and also lets us learn from the experiences of the characters by "walking alongside" the characters as they experience things -- a little bit like a movie where the camera is closely following a character.. we get the to live through the hardships AND the perseverance AND the victory WITH the character. We get the benefit of "hard life lessons" WITHOUT having to *actually* experience them! :)

 

The next step is to then talk about how a similar "cleansing" (cathartic) feeling can be experienced with tragedies. We "live" through the hard things, unfair situations, losses, and deaths alongside of a character, and by reading about/experiencing it alongside of the character, it can help prepare us for handing those hard things, unfair situations, losses, and deaths in real life. We can see what choices the characters made and if those choices resulted in good consequences or not. Also, there can be a huge relief (catharsis) of learning through the experiences of someone *else*, and that these events and characters are created by an author to HELP us -- a sort of "willing sacrifice", if you will. ;)

 

Just adding to Critterfixer's ideas:

Another thing that might help with future literature is, in advance of starting the book, together go over a summary of the specific major events that are going to happen in the story (esp. ones that are likely to provoke strong emotional responses). Yes, even plot spoilers! AND talk about the reasons why these events are likely in the book (back to that idea of learning from the characters' experiences). Advance knowledge of what is coming and what kinds of things are to be learned from the book can give black and white/literal thinkers some control over the book. In contrast, not knowing what is coming can really overwhelm them as they get hit with a huge load of emotional reaction on top of having to process the unexpected (and bad) turn of events for the character.

 

He's also young; as he gets into his mid- and late-teens, he will have started to grow and mature in the emotional areas that will likely help him develop some "filters", so that the emotion in these hard events isn't quite so raw and overwhelming.

 

Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Critterfixer]

 

He's also young; as he gets into his mid- and late-teens, he will have started to grow and mature in the emotional areas that will likely help him develop some "filters", so that the emotion in these hard events isn't quite so raw and overwhelming.

 

Sometimes. There are stories that I read as a child that I find harder to read today. Of course, that is part of the beauty of literature. One can grow and change and find that literature acquires a whole new range of flavors over time.

[Lori D.]

He's also young; as he gets into his mid- and late-teens, he will have started to grow and mature in the emotional areas that will likely help him develop some "filters", so that the emotion in these hard events isn't quite so raw and overwhelming.

 

Sometimes. There are stories that I read as a child that I find harder to read today. Of course, that is part of the beauty of literature. One can grow and change and find that literature acquires a whole new range of flavors over time.

 

I should have  clarified. :) I had some background thinking going on that wasn't included in my post. The background to my comment is that I was thinking broadly of Asperberger's and other types of "late-bloomers" who are black & white in thinking, are sensitive, and struggle to fit the "emotions" piece of the puzzle into place. Often they are later in the continuum in maturing and developing a sort of coping mechanism, or a filter -- often not until in the late teens or 20s -- that allows them to deal with emotions and subtleties in real life. By extension, then to be able to better deal with Literature.

 

Agreeing with you Critterfixer… I still weep at some stories that I cried with as a child -- in fact, as I get older, I seem to weep more easily, harder, and more frequently ;). I also find that I am far more sensitive now to "hard" and "raw" and "psychological" elements in film, TV, and literature, that I hardly batted an eye at in my 20s… As we grow and change, our sensitivities and tolerances change in all kinds of unexpected ways; and as you say, that also allows us to appreciate whole new flavors. :)

 

[Maus]

Thank you, everyone! The collective wisdom of the hive is amazing!

 

I'm going to save this whole thread so I can follow up on every suggestion.