Ignore this thread!

[Critterfixer]

I woke up to a phone call from DH at work. The truck he was picking up for a family member that was supposed to be there at eight arrived at seven. So we did chores in record time and rushed around to go pick him up and take him to get the truck. I decided that this meant I needed bacon to recover. So I'm having my tea now and the bacon is in the oven. :001_smile:

 

 

[Critterfixer]

:grouphug: Paige. It's just hard for me to imagine that guests wouldn't take the host's word on what the visit should entail. It baffles me.

[prairiewindmomma]

Paige, I highly recommend that you take a long nap every afternoon while they are there, and act like the recovering postpartum mother that you are.  Don't fix this for them and make it seem like a normal visit.

 

 

[KrissiK]

Good Morning!!

 

COFFEE!!!☕ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸

 

Friday Eve!!ðŸ‘

[KrissiK]

I'm not sure that's legal.   :D

  

:lol:

 

I thought exactly the same thing.

 

Ok, girls....did I spell it wrong?? I looked it up.

[prairiewindmomma]

Ok, I've had breakfast, I have my shoes on, and I've got to get going on my day. I have only two more days of my fall break....today and tomorrow.  

[Critterfixer]

I ought to write this morning. Normally we would be listening to French and doing Latin translation, but after rushing around like crazy people this morning, I'm in favor of relaxing until it's time to leave for art, and getting that stuff done later.

[Junie]

:grouphug: Paige. It's just hard for me to imagine that guests wouldn't take the host's word on what the visit should entail. It baffles me.

 

Paige's parents sound like mine.  My parents think of the grandchildren as a most wondrous gift that I gave to them and they should be able to enjoy them whenever and whereever they want.  I have mostly learned to smile and nod and retreat to my bedroom.

[Paige]

These were the folks who changed their mind about the non-traditional Thanksgiving meal in favor of having you cook a meal?

That was my brother. He actually texted me a link for 101 easy Thanksgiving side dishes on Mon! I told him we were just going to a Chinese buffet! We aren’t. We’ll order in or go to a restaurant.

[Critterfixer]

That was my brother. He actually texted me a link for 101 easy Thanksgiving side dishes on Mon! I told him we were just going to a Chinese buffet! We aren’t. We’ll order in or go to a restaurant.

:confused1: And did he volunteer to buy the ingredients, make those easy side dishes, serve them and then clean the kitchen afterwards? Holy macaroni! 

[Paige]

:grouphug: Paige. It's just hard for me to imagine that guests wouldn't take the host's word on what the visit should entail. It baffles me.

“We aren’t guests, we are your (parents, family, mother, etc)!â€

 

That’s what I got when I was a new parent and trying to explain I was getting tired/frustrated because they (my family and DH’s) were doing things that wouldn’t at other people’s houses because it would be rude.

 

And when I once said it wasn’t a good time: “I can’t believe you would ever tell your parents they aren’t welcome in your home!â€

[Critterfixer]

“We aren’t guests, we are your (parents, family, mother, etc)!â€

 

That’s what I got when I was a new parent and trying to explain I was getting tired/frustrated because they (my family and DH’s) were doing things that wouldn’t at other people’s houses because it would be rude.

 

And when I once said it wasn’t a good time: “I can’t believe you would ever tell your parents they aren’t welcome in your home!â€

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

To me being family means respecting other members of your family, doing whatever you can to support them, and when they tell you they are tired, respecting that they know what they are talking about!   :rant:

[prairiewindmomma]

“We aren’t guests, we are your (parents, family, mother, etc)!â€

 

That’s what I got when I was a new parent and trying to explain I was getting tired/frustrated because they (my family and DH’s) were doing things that wouldn’t at other people’s houses because it would be rude.

 

And when I once said it wasn’t a good time: “I can’t believe you would ever tell your parents they aren’t welcome in your home!â€

 

The converse of that is, "I can't believe my parents would ever make such demands of me when I'm not feeling well, or be so insensitive to my situation."  If you're my family, not my guests, then clean my house, do my laundry, make meals for us, and play with my older children. I'm happy to give you directions to the local grocery store.  It'd be awesome if you'd leave a stack of meals in the freezer too."

 

I have many friends with family like that.  THAT is family helping family.

 

 

ETA: Booyah for FRAMILIES---the family that you make with your friends....

Edited November 9, 2017 by kbeal

[prairiewindmomma]

Ugh. Still waiting on ds to move boxes, and I think he's fallen asleep in the bathroom, post shower.

[Jean in Newcastle]

That's how I've found some of my favorite books. Which book is it?

It’s called Slade House. I have no idea what it’s about or if it’s good.

[lanalouwho]

The converse of that is, "I can't believe my parents would ever make such demands of me when I'm not feeling well, or be so insensitive to my situation." If you're my family, not my guests, then clean my house, do my laundry, make meals for us, and play with my older children. I'm happy to give you directions to the local grocery store. It'd be awesome if you'd leave a stack of meals in the freezer too."

 

I have many friends with family like that. THAT is family helping family.

 

 

ETA: Booyah for FRAMILIES---the family that you make with your friends....

This is how my family/friends are. Visiting a sick/recovering person means cooking for them, playing with the kids so they can nap or shower, picking up or pitching in. If I'm overwhelmed and excuse myself to take a nap, there are other adults to take up the slack. That's how it should be. You should not be expected to wait on anyone.

Maybe when they arrive, you can make it clear that responsible adults will be expected to behave like responsible adults.

 

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[Slache]

“We aren’t guests, we are your (parents, family, mother, etc)!â€

That’s what I got when I was a new parent and trying to explain I was getting tired/frustrated because they (my family and DH’s) were doing things that wouldn’t at other people’s houses because it would be rude.

And when I once said it wasn’t a good time: “I can’t believe you would ever tell your parents they aren’t welcome in your home!â€

THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID! I'm sorry. My family and in-laws are very difficult as well. :grouphug:

  

The converse of that is, "I can't believe my parents would ever make such demands of me when I'm not feeling well, or be so insensitive to my situation."  If you're my family, not my guests, then clean my house, do my laundry, make meals for us, and play with my older children. I'm happy to give you directions to the local grocery store.  It'd be awesome if you'd leave a stack of meals in the freezer too."

 

I have many friends with family like that.  THAT is family helping family.

 

 

ETA: Booyah for FRAMILIES---the family that you make with your friends....

Yes, this is what parents should be doing!

[AMJ]

Out of the mouths of teens:  (working on geometry definitions) "corollary tract infection".   :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[KrissiK]

((Paige)). I have nothing new to add to the conversation, but emotional attachments to people just make everything so much harder to deal with. Logic flies out the window.

[Slache]

I am livid. This is BEYOND ridiculous. These people are insensitive, selfish and downright cruel. They don't get to boss you around. This is YOUR home and you are RECOVERING FROM CHILDBIRTH.

 

I'm a dormant though so I have no advice.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Slache]

Let all of us never forget how difficult it is in the beginning so we remember to be nothing but gracious to our daughters and daughters in law.

[Slache]

Lincoln Logs > Breakfast

[KrissiK]

Let all of us never forget how difficult it is in the beginning so we remember to be nothing but gracious to our daughters and daughters in law.

No kidding. I am fortunate. I have an amazing mother-in-law and my mom is pretty good, too.

[KrissiK]

I have a 10:30PST appointment with my doctor.

 

#canttakethissinusinfectionanymore.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm glad that you're going to the doctor, Krissi. 

[Paige]

They are all older and not feeling up to being helpful after a long drive. When I had DD(10) I said something about why were they asking for dessert and why was I doing dishes because I thought they were here to help. I was told they were on vacation and there to play with the baby.

 

But for real, you all, they are much, much easier than MIL who is at this moment breaking DD (10)s heart and creating a cluster-f. And apparently coming again after Christmas with BIL. And not helpful. She sleeps until 3 and won’t take a crying baby. I’ve had to take Baby to all our appointments this week even though I should have a babysitter.

[Slache]

They are all older and not feeling up to being helpful after a long drive. When I had DD(10) I said something about why were they asking for dessert and why was I doing dishes because I thought they were here to help. I was told they were on vacation and there to play with the baby.

 

But for real, you all, they are much, much easier than MIL who is at this moment breaking DD (10)s heart and creating a cluster-f. And apparently coming again after Christmas with BIL. And not helpful. She sleeps until 3 and won’t take a crying baby. I’ve had to take Baby to all our appointments this week even though I should have a babysitter.

Have you considered moving, changing your number and just not giving them any of that information?

[Paige]

Have you considered moving, changing your number and just not giving them any of that information?

DH wonders why I keep suggesting we retire internationally! His mom was like this growing up so it’s normal for him and he works and avoids most of it, and he’s never given birth so it doesn’t bother him or seem unusual to him.

 

My parents used to be normal and are usually fine. For some reason they just get super annoying and unhelpful when I have babies. Or maybe I’m less tolerant and more irritable. They were great when DDs A and B were in the NICU. I guess they realized help was actually required.

[Jean in Newcastle]

((Paige)). I wish that you lived where I could swoop in and provide babysitting.

 

 

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[ikslo]

:grouphug: Paige :grouphug:

 

What you're describing sounds awful!  I am so sorry you have to deal with this. 

 

If you don't want the ENB to stomp on them, I can always put a voodoo curse on them for you where they get sick with the runs before the trip and can not come. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(I don't really know voodoo.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I want just the fun and glamorous parts of adulting.  The kids can do the gross and stressful parts.  ;) 

[Slache]

I vote ikslo learns voodoo!

[Critterfixer]

:sad: Saw a dead bird on the road today. I thought it was a hawk, but it turned out to be an owl. I didn't want to see it squashed, so I moved it to the side of the road. 

I had no idea how soft barred owls were. Beyond feather soft. Like handling a cloud--no wonder they can be absolutely silent in flight.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Today is a Mark Knopfler music day. 

[Susan in TN]

I may have made my situation worse! They want to just stay the whole time. They reminded me that my brother was going to be at my house Sat night so my weekend was basically screwed anyway. Maybe they’ll at least leave when he does (Sun morning). I can’t uninvite for the extra days after saying it would be helpful...

Ack!

 

  

That was my brother. He actually texted me a link for 101 easy Thanksgiving side dishes on Mon! I told him we were just going to a Chinese buffet! We aren’t. We’ll order in or go to a restaurant.

Yay!

 

  

“We aren’t guests, we are your (parents, family, mother, etc)!â€

That’s what I got when I was a new parent and trying to explain I was getting tired/frustrated because they (my family and DH’s) were doing things that wouldn’t at other people’s houses because it would be rude.

And when I once said it wasn’t a good time: “I can’t believe you would ever tell your parents they aren’t welcome in your home!â€

 

 

My eyes almost got stuck in the back of my head from the compulsive mega-eye-roll!

 

 

Let all of us never forget how difficult it is in the beginning so we remember to be nothing but gracious to our daughters and daughters in law.

And amen.

[KrissiK]

I'm back from the doctor. Saw my cousin there. #smalltownnobodyevermovesaway

She gave me a prescription for Amoxycillin and said if I'm not better by Monday she'll add a steroid. I love my doctor.

[KrissiK]

Have you considered moving, changing your number and just not giving them any of that information?

I second this motion. All in favor, say "aye".

[Susan in TN]

I second this motion. All in favor, say "aye".

Aye.

[Susan in TN]

Or once we get our squillions and buy our private island, we can have on-demand Stealth 'Copter service to and from whenever we need a quick escape.

[Slache]

Spicy potatoes.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I’m feeling ornrier than a rattlesnake today.

 

Don't tread on Spudz

Edited November 9, 2017 by Jean in Newcastle

[Jean in Newcastle]

Spudz - have some hot chocolate. 

☕

[Jean in Newcastle]

What’s in it?

 

What do you want in it?  I can make it to order.  I use almond milk and a gluten free/ dairy free hot chocolate mix for mine.  And sometimes I add a dollop of peanut butter for a hot Reese's. 

[AMJ]

11,722 words now.  Geometry battled through.  Errands run.  Lunch in the oven.  

 

Can I collapse yet?  Nope, still too much to do....

[AMJ]

I may have made my situation worse! They want to just stay the whole time. They reminded me that my brother was going to be at my house Sat night so my weekend was basically screwed anyway. Maybe they’ll at least leave when he does (Sun morning). I can’t uninvite for the extra days after saying it would be helpful...

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry.  

[AMJ]

“We aren’t guests, we are your (parents, family, mother, etc)!â€

 

That’s what I got when I was a new parent and trying to explain I was getting tired/frustrated because they (my family and DH’s) were doing things that wouldn’t at other people’s houses because it would be rude.

 

And when I once said it wasn’t a good time: “I can’t believe you would ever tell your parents they aren’t welcome in your home!â€

 

 

Wow, you have some manipulative parents!

 

"As we are all adults now, my house, my rules.  Guests have rules to follow for smoothly sojourning here, and their stay will be limited due to the extra work involved in hosting them.  People can be guests for two days, no longer.  After two days guests are automatically promoted to Full Family status.  Full Family members get chores and will be expected to do them without complaint.  I run this household, so everything I say goes.  Thank you for showing me the same respect and courtesy you would expect me and mine to show you."

[Slache]

4 hours of Lincoln Logs + Alex + sword = very unhappy John.

[AMJ]

Ugh. Still waiting on ds to move boxes, and I think he's fallen asleep in the bathroom, post shower.

 

 

He didn't drown, did he?

[AMJ]

Lincoln Logs > Breakfast

 

 

Lots of fiber in those Lincoln Logs!

[AMJ]

DH wonders why I keep suggesting we retire internationally! His mom was like this growing up so it’s normal for him and he works and avoids most of it, and he’s never given birth so it doesn’t bother him or seem unusual to him.

 

My parents used to be normal and are usually fine. For some reason they just get super annoying and unhelpful when I have babies. Or maybe I’m less tolerant and more irritable. They were great when DDs A and B were in the NICU. I guess they realized help was actually required.

 

 

Maybe it's time to have a good old-fashioned "nervous breakdown".  Basically just pitch a hissy-fit, demand some counseling, and have the counselor tell the entire family (your DH, too) that this is FAR TOO MUCH for a post-partum gal to be handling and they all need to BACK OFF.

 

Where's our island therapist?  Pamela is very good about telling families exactly this sort of thing.