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Ignore this thread!

Mommy2BeautifulGirls
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katilac
katilac

You know, saying "ignore this thread" to this group is like saying "don't push the big red button!" 

ErinE
ErinE

Homeschoolers.     They always think the rules don't apply to them.

purpleowl
purpleowl

Ignore this post in this thread.

ikslo

ikslo

Posted
Posted (edited)

Now I just need to figure out what's missing. Last time it was shampoo and conditioner, lotion and muscle relaxers. Yesterday every time she had to use the bathroom she said "I'll just use your bathroom" and I said "the guest bathroom is fine". Finally she just showed up in ours while I was tending to the neighbor's dog. She brought all of her supplies in from the other bathroom so she had plenty of places to hide my things. :glare:

 

Family or not, she would never be welcome in my house again.  I'm mean like that.

 

ETA:  I can put up with annoying family, but theft is a deal-breaker for me.

 

Edited by ikslo
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Slache

Slache

Posted
Posted

Family or not, she would never be welcome in my house again. I'm mean like that.

 

ETA: I can put up with annoying family, but theft is a deal-breaker for me.

 

But what's the solution when they all do it? Say goodbye to his entire family forever? He likes them all for some reason.

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ikslo

ikslo

Posted
Posted (edited)

But what's the solution when they all do it? Say goodbye to his entire family forever? He likes them all for some reason.

 

Not goodbye forever, just, "We'd love to see you, but please get a hotel room."  Explain why if you must.  I understand there are issues from her past.  I just wouldn't put my family in that position.  If she chooses to get offended because her own actions led to being asked to stay elsewhere, that's on her.

 

JMO.  I get why other people put up with family.  I just wouldn't, personally.

 

Edited by ikslo
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Slache

Slache

Posted
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Early on in my marriage I thought I was crazy and it really ate away at me. An entire family that lies and steals? My mother being everything I said she is? I was the only one who seemed to have a problem with my in-laws in the beginning. It was so hard. As the years went by things started coming out with the treatment of other people that were validating my claims. Matt questioned my mental health until then. It was awful.

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Slache

Slache

Posted
Posted

(((Slache & Family)))

 

Seems you have to deal with this mess from all sides.

 

:grouphug:

No, I think my mom might be gone forever and everything changed when Matt realized how manipulative MIL was. It was like me against everyone and now it's us against them but they're really tired.

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Slache

Slache

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AND it was agreed upon years ago that after everything MIL will never live with us which was a big deal. She had decided she was moving in right after her husband died which could be any time (heart condition) and I didn't even grasp how unhealthy that would be but it would have ruined my peace, patience and good mothering.

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prairiewindmomma

prairiewindmomma

Posted
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Not goodbye forever, just, "We'd love to see you, but please get a hotel room."  Explain why if you must.  I understand there are issues from her past.  I just wouldn't put my family in that position.  If she chooses to get offended because her own actions led to be asked to stay elsewhere, that's on her.

 

JMO.  I get why other people put up with family.  I just wouldn't, personally.

 

 

Dh's family, when they used to visit, stayed in a hotel.  And, we only meet some family members in public places. Less drama that way.

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Jean in Newcastle

Jean in Newcastle

Posted
Posted

Early on in my marriage I thought I was crazy and it really ate away at me. An entire family that lies and steals? My mother being everything I said she is? I was the only one who seemed to have a problem with my in-laws in the beginning. It was so hard. As the years went by things started coming out with the treatment of other people that were validating my claims. Matt questioned my mental health until then. It was awful.

 

The bolded actually gets me more upset than anything about your SIL. 

 

Your SIL is immature and at least borderline mentally ill.  I would treat her as a child.  Not condescendingly but with strict boundaries. 

 

Has a fit about your food?  Oh well.  She can get over it or walk down to McDonalds (or call an Uber) or just not eat.  Not eating much won't hurt her.  

 

The bathroom?  What you were saying about the using the guest bathroom was brilliant.  Now that you know that she will wait for a moment to make an end run around you, lock up anything that is really off limits to her.  Especially any prescriptions.  Shampoo and lotion is annoying but you can get the cheapest kind when she's there and lock up the nicer stuff. 

 

Baiting you with talk about Basic White girls?  Laugh it off.  You know who you are in Christ.  You're a princess.  And you know that your family loves and accepts you just the way you are.

 

Ignores your kids?  Your kids will start to see that Auntie is self absorbed.  It's ok.  My kids really don't like one uncle.  I had to physically get between him and my Aspie when he was younger because Uncle was causing meltdowns.  Uncle started to have a meltdown too but even though I'm at least a foot shorter I  don't mind going toe to toe when I'm in Mama Bear mode.  Now they mostly ignore him or just walk away.  His loss not ours.

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Slache

Slache

Posted
Posted

The bolded actually gets me more upset than anything about your SIL.

 

Your SIL is immature and at least borderline mentally ill. I would treat her as a child. Not condescendingly but with strict boundaries.

 

Has a fit about your food? Oh well. She can get over it or walk down to McDonalds (or call an Uber) or just not eat. Not eating much won't hurt her.

 

The bathroom? What you were saying about the using the guest bathroom was brilliant. Now that you know that she will wait for a moment to make an end run around you, lock up anything that is really off limits to her. Especially any prescriptions. Shampoo and lotion is annoying but you can get the cheapest kind when she's there and lock up the nicer stuff.

 

Baiting you with talk about Basic White girls? Laugh it off. You know who you are in Christ. You're a princess. And you know that your family loves and accepts you just the way you are.

 

Ignores your kids? Your kids will start to see that Auntie is self absorbed. It's ok. My kids really don't like one uncle. I had to physically get between him and my Aspie when he was younger because Uncle was causing meltdowns. Uncle started to have a meltdown too but even though I'm at least a foot shorter I don't mind going toe to toe when I'm in Mama Bear mode. Now they mostly ignore him or just walk away. His loss not ours.

But in the beginning I was the only one saying it. I was saying that she was horrible and nasty when no one else was looking and that she was only horrible and nasty to me. She lied to me and stole from me and I had no proof. She always loved Matt the best (SIL knows) and always treated him well. So for years I was saying that this mostly kind woman was treating me horribly and being nice to everyone else. MIL & SIL would decide what to say to go against me together. He didn't think that I was severely mentally ill but that's something in my brain was off and perceiving situations incorrectly. Years later it came out that she does that to everyone but essentially everyone was afraid to stand up. She raised them but she didn't raise me and I wasn't afraid of her so I spoke up. It made sense that the problem was me.

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luuknam

luuknam

Posted
Posted

Yay!!!!!!! DW is a senior now! As in, they gave her a promotion so she's got 'senior' in front of her title now. The raise is smaller than we would've liked, but they also gave her $1k in stock (which, if the past is any indication, will remain about $1k worth of stock indefinitely, except during blackout periods when she can't sell, but oh well), and increased her bonus percentage. Oh, and apparently her promotion went in effect on Oct 1st, so she'll get back pay for the difference over the past month (and she agreed to pay off her credit card with that). She also said that she'll ask to be promoted to 'principal' in a few months, with as slow as the company works (seriously, it's ridiculous how slow anything that needs to be run by HR works - this promotion took about a year after her superiors agreed she should be promoted). 

 

Also, I found my new driver's license, so I should be able to deal with registering the kids with the new school district (which I don't legally have to do, but that way Celery can get speech therapy through them). 

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ikslo

ikslo

Posted
Posted

I think everyone's tired of hearing about my in-laws.

 

Nah.  It's entertaining.

 

So my turn:

 

One of my aunts texted me last night and called me a nickname I have never heard or had, and then whined about how she misses when everyone was together.  She also told me that she knows I miss her.  :huh:  This is the aunt that did not even invite me to her wedding.  Um, okay then.

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ikslo

ikslo

Posted
Posted

Yay!!!!!!! DW is a senior now! As in, they gave her a promotion so she's got 'senior' in front of her title now. The raise is smaller than we would've liked, but they also gave her $1k in stock (which, if the past is any indication, will remain about $1k worth of stock indefinitely, except during blackout periods when she can't sell, but oh well), and increased her bonus percentage. Oh, and apparently her promotion went in effect on Oct 1st, so she'll get back pay for the difference over the past month (and she agreed to pay off her credit card with that). She also said that she'll ask to be promoted to 'principal' in a few months, with as slow as the company works (seriously, it's ridiculous how slow anything that needs to be run by HR works - this promotion took about a year after her superiors agreed she should be promoted). 

 

Also, I found my new driver's license, so I should be able to deal with registering the kids with the new school district (which I don't legally have to do, but that way Celery can get speech therapy through them). 

 

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

 

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luuknam

luuknam

Posted
Posted

Yes, I want to, but that requires child care and copay money. I'm trying to focus on self care, on prayer, and on reading helpful books. Totally open to suggestions there.

 

 

No suggestions wrt the copay money, but maybe a friend and you could trade babysitting duties a couple of hours a week. Or some therapists have evening or weekend hours.

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