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Help for homeschooling during upheaval


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I'm not sure whether I need encouragement right now or just to vent.

Our lives have been in upheaval since December 2nd. I usually start our school year in mid-January. Just when I thought we were getting settled enough to begin our year (we just started yesterday), my firstborn son broke his lower left arm bones extremely badly, needing surgery today, and more surgery in the future. I'm not sure what I'll do about homeschooling him at this point. I don't want to teach him when he's in pain; but at the same time, I could see that doing some studies with him in the upcoming weeks would help to pass the time and he wouldn't be so bored. I am quite unprepared for the year in general. We were just going to do the three Rs this week (which I am prepared for), and then add in the content subjects next week so I could have one more week to organize the content subjects. I am so tired of not knowing what I'm doing or what the next week will hold. Not sure what I'm asking for, maybe just a virtual shoulder to cry on. Thanks.

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He is seven.  In other parts of the world, formal schooling just begins at this age.

There is not much school you must do with him. 3Rs is enough - don't sweat "content subjects".

Pamper him, let him recover, keep him entertained: read alouds, books on tape, board games, documentaries, when he feels better a little bit of math.

This is not the time to stress about school.

 

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

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Yes. Do what he's up to and make sure his arm heals well. I'm on my third 7yo and I promise that missing a few weeks of more formal schooling will not be a problem at all.

 

I'm sorry about his arm. I know that's stressful and scary, especially with surgery. And I'm sorry about the uncertainty. Even little things can get overwhelming when you have big things like broken arms that aren't going right. But whether he does history and art for the next few weeks is truly a very small thing. He'll be fine. :grouphug:

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Actually, he's 8 (3rd gradish). Updating my siggy is one of those things I haven't had time for. :ohmy: But I don't think that will change the point you're making which is what I need to hear: don't sweat the small stuff! Sigh. Keep it coming, ladies. Thanks.

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He's 7.  My son is 12 and in 7th grade.  

 

At age 12 and in 7th grade, he'd have to still do quite a bit of school.

 

But at age 7 in the what--1st or 2nd grade?--you can do the fun schooling.  I would recommend lots and lots of read alouds in many subjects and gently moving forward in math. I wouldn't push for lots of writing if that causes him pain.  I would read and watch some sort of videos that tie in to the reading.  (Though at 7 that depends on the kid.  My kids wouldn't sit still for educational videos until 8 or 9.)

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Keep the spark in his eyes by helping him stay interested and curious (in anything), and keep the atmosphere as relaxed as possible during this high-stress time. Hospitalization, surgeries, and pain are HARD, for children and their parents! Believe me, I know.

 

If you read to him and play some games he'll get enough mental stimulation to study again in awhile.

 

Do you have help with the other dc, and support for yourself?

 

You said, "I don't know what to do, or what tomorrow will hold."

 

What to do: Today. Just do today, having connected with each child and addressed their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs and having given them hope for tomorrow.

 

What tomorrow holds: You'll be doing today all over again. What you are able to offer, or what they are able to achieve, in each area of growth will change as you ride this roller coaster, but your standard of being the Mama Who is There remains constant. Today's math app on the iPad will someday be a calculus lesson; today's read aloud time will someday be Rhetoric studies; today's walk around the hospital will be tomorrow's trip to a national landmark; today's reassuring talk about fears over surgery will someday be a late night discussion about strength to face a manly challenge...get the idea? When you give them what they need today, you'll stay in the habit of doing that. :) Their needs, and your capacity to provide for them, will grow as they grow.

 

Strengthen relationships. Model coping through stress. Be aware of all the ways that children grow and make space. Look each family member in the eye and find time to for each of them, every single day.

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My son fell 10 feet off a wagon in July.  He fractured his pelvis, his acetabular margin, a joint in his elbow.  3 months in a wheelchair with NO weight bearing allowed.  He is fully recovered.  We learned a lot about bones healing, the science of how wheelchairs are made, how ramps are built and how slides are used.  The logistics of getting into a minivan was a nightmare.  But when it was all said and done.  We made the best of it and look back on that time with happy, funny memories.

 

Try to do the same with your son.  I would find some great kids videos about how bones heal, etc for him to learn about.  I would take the time to teach him the names of the bones in his arm and hands.  This will impress the doctors. LOL.   I would research which foods are good to help the body mend.  Then find a new recipe or two to try out with those ingredients in it.  Sort build a unit study all about bones.  I bet he will remember it for a long time.

 

Study how broken bones were dealt with 100 years ago, vs 50 years ago, vs now.  Explore the invention of the x-ray machine and how pain meds work.  You can have a lot of fun with this.  Learning doesn't have to stop.  It might look different than what you expected but that doesn't mean it isn't effective.

 

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The only thing consistent about my life is that it will be inconsistent. :lol: I have had to search hard for things and methods that I can hold onto.

 

With each new crisis, I start a new planner that is just a piece of folded LARGE paper. See video below. If I don't have a big piece of paper, I tape together whatever I have. Once my planner was a combination of multicolored hurricane and party notices that had been slid under my door from building management. And the tape was shipping tape, meant for boxes.

 

When in total crisis, I don't write down academics, but just write in holidays and appointments and bills, so I can see where there things are crazier and when they are easier. Having this same adaption to any crisis is calming to me. It's one of the few consistent things I can count on being able to hold onto.

 

If things are not too crazy I come with an appropriate academic plan. I used to plan 3R's, but now that is often the least likely thing I will plan. Now I'm more likely to plan the "extras". The mind cannot survive if the body and soul are not taken care of FIRST. Religion, literature, art, music, exercise, cooking, nature–that's where I start. Only when I see some stability and healing do I restart academics.

 

Holy book of the student. Read alouds. A new box of crayons and some lessons on color. A new composer or some folk/world music. Time spent outside. Interacting with plants and animals. Food. Tidying up; there is something very comforting about tidying up. Establishing/celebrating rhythm of the year, month, week, day; Catholic, Jewish, pagan, and Waldorf holidays and rituals. Documentaries and movies and musicals.

 

Planner Method using nothing but a large piece of paper.

 

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I highly recommend packing a large backpack.  Keep some simple art supplies (colored pencils, crayons, paper) and several good books for each child (and some post-it notes).

 

 

Every day that you are home, do those 3R's.

 

 

Bring out the bag for some relaxing time together.  Put history and science and literature in that bag.  Enjoy those things, and don't worry a bit about what you are covering or how.  Let the learning be the diversion.  If it's all in a bag, it's easy to grab for the waiting room.

 

 

 

 

 

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What to do: Today. Just do today, having connected with each child and addressed their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs and having given them hope for tomorrow.

 

What tomorrow holds: You'll be doing today all over again. What you are able to offer, or what they are able to achieve, in each area of growth will change as you ride this roller coaster, but your standard of being the Mama Who is There remains constant. Today's math app on the iPad will someday be a calculus lesson; today's read aloud time will someday be Rhetoric studies; today's walk around the hospital will be tomorrow's trip to a national landmark; today's reassuring talk about fears over surgery will someday be a late night discussion about strength to face a manly challenge...get the idea? When you give them what they need today, you'll stay in the habit of doing that. :) Their needs, and your capacity to provide for them, will grow as they grow.

 

Strengthen relationships. Model coping through stress. Be aware of all the ways that children grow and make space. Look each family member in the eye and find time to for each of them, every single day.

I am not the OP, but wanted to thank you for this post!! The timing was perfect. What a wonderful reminder of what is truly important.

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Thought I'd pop in to glean from the advice you get (we're in the middle of a big move), but all I have to say is I'm so sorry!  Your poor boy!  Hoping he heals quickly & well.  Make good memories from this time. 

 

It's like I told me kids when we were on a ride at Disney and it broke down and we had to be escorted out, "Of all the rides we have ever ridden here, I guarantee this will be the one you remember when you are little old men." 

 

This period of time will probably be memorable for all of you - let the memories be good, fun, snuggly ones!  And prayers for you & your little guy.

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Do you have help with the other dc, and support for yourself?

 

 

Thanks, Tibbie, for your thoughtful encouragement.

 

I don't want to sound whiny (too late, ha!), but I really don't have support--outside of FB and TWTM forums. :/ My husband is here to help; but we live overseas as missionaries, had been in the States for 8 weeks over Christmas to rest and discuss possible major changes in our future because of this event, just arrived back in the country less than three weeks ago, went through a move to a smaller house with no preparation in packing whatsoever, and...the list really does go on. To be open, I wasn't even sure we were ready to start our school year yet, but I hoped it would help give us stability to get into a routine and do something familiar; and I knew we needed to get going or we would get no breaks the rest of the year. Oh, I'm pregnant too--due in August. :) So anyway, my support has come from encouraging friends, the prayers of friends, and certain Scripture the Lord has brought to my attention during these trials. Thanks again for your words of encouragement; it really does help to have virtual friends. :)

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Thanks, Tibbie, for your thoughtful encouragement.

 

I don't want to sound whiny (too late, ha!), but I really don't have support--outside of FB and TWTM forums. :/ My husband is here to help; but we live overseas as missionaries, had been in the States for 8 weeks over Christmas to rest and discuss possible major changes in our future because of this event, just arrived back in the country less than three weeks ago, went through a move to a smaller house with no preparation in packing whatsoever, and...the list really does go on. To be open, I wasn't even sure we were ready to start our school year yet, but I hoped it would help give us stability to get into a routine and do something familiar; and I knew we needed to get going or we would get no breaks the rest of the year. Oh, I'm pregnant too--due in August. :) So anyway, my support has come from encouraging friends, the prayers of friends, and certain Scripture the Lord has brought to my attention during these trials. Thanks again for your words of encouragement; it really does help to have virtual friends. :)

 

 

Oh, goodness!

 

After reading all that, I think even more that whatever you put in your *bag* needs to be a diversion, a salve, and a delight.  Fantasy, poetry, biography, nature stories, fiction, field guides.  Choose everything based on what will bring a smile to your children.  You will cover plenty of academics this way, and more importantly minister to their hearts meanwhile.

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Wow! I think you are an amazingly strong woman. I am so sorry for what you went through and so thankful that you are all okay now! I agree with keeping it super simple and enjoyable. Read fun books, play fun math games, maybe some art would help the kids process? I don't really know. If you feel like doing school would help you guys by providing a familiar, comforting structure, I'd say to start one subject per week or so and just ease into it.

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Amy, :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  and prayers for your family. I read your blog post, and my heart is sore for you and your sweet children. I know that academics are important, and that tending to your son's physical healing is essential, but it seems to me that this is a time for you to focus mainly on the emotional and spiritual well-being of your family and yourself. It's been a traumatic time. I think it is fine to keep the academics light and fun and spend your time doing readalouds and playing games together. Set aside a bit of time for academics each day, because I think structure is good in the midst of chaos, but don't stress over the things you don't get done. Give your whole family time to heal, and then you will find it easier to move forward.

 

And I love Tibbie's post. So eloquent and true.

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The reality of your situation, too, is that if your son wasn't homeschooled, he'd get even further behind and I suspect you'd feel even more burdened by him being behind in all the assigned work the school would send home and his missed classes. Now, you can rejoice in any forward motion in his math and LA programs and in reading (or listening to) good books together, while his body heals.

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Your library is your best friend, and a good place to start, especially as you've been under some serious upheaval.  Squeeze in a visit, and pick up some library cards if you don't already have them. 

Pick a topic that your oldest is interested in, and get a handful of books on the topic.  Could be an animal, or cars, or cowboys, or whatever.  If an animal, get books about its habitat, its prey, similar animals, and fiction stories about such animals.  If cars, try books on roads, on how motors work, on other kinds of transportation, on racing, and again, some related fiction.  If cowboys (or knights, or ancient Romans), then books about their lives - where they lived, what they ate, what they wore - as well as some "time travel" fiction.  Get books you can read to the children, and books they can read with you or by themselves.  Read the books aloud, and enjoy them.  If your library has audio books or videos, see if there's anything related.  

 

Get to know your neighborhood.  Are there any museums, or historical sites, or nature centers?  Visit them, and see what sparks your interest - maybe a butterflies, or trees, or a certain time in history.  Head to the library again, and check out a few books on the new topic.  Mix them in to your reading time.  Also, keep reading on the old topic as long as you're still interested in it.

If you can do some simple math, at least 3 times a week, that will be worthwhile, but keep it light and fun.  Mix in some simple games - depending on the game, it can be a great way to practice math facts, experience probability, and perhaps get a little reading practice.  

Encourage interests - making things, pretend play, music, outside play.  Limit screens, not because they are bad, but because the time can be better spent on other things.  Have little hands help with meals and such where possible.

Keep the focus on learning together, and enjoying each other's company.  As you begin to feel up to it, add in some writing - handwriting practice for the littles and something a bit more complex for the biggers - really anything that puts pencil to paper.

 

There will be time for more formal lessons and structured curricula later, but the work you do now - the reading, the math, the play, and the bonding - will create a good base from which to build later.  And you may be surprised at how much your children can learn through this simple, minimal-planning, "unit studies" approach.

 

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Your family has been through multiple traumas.  Formal schooling can wait.  Read books, draw and paint, make up stories, count things, play with any simple toys/games you might have, rest, listen to music, let the babies take naps, eat simple meals.  maybe your littles might enjoy playing nurse to big brother?  Make him presents and treats?  Fetch his toys?  Hope you are all healing.

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:grouphug: No one should have to go through that. My heart goes out to you and your family and for what you had to endure.

 

Schooling can wait a bit, IF you want it to. A few weeks shouldn't make much (if any)  difference in the scheme of things. If you have the resources available, AmyontheFarm's ideas for a fun bone study is wonderful. Relaxing and making wonderful memories through art/cooking/playing might be beneficial.

 

Then again, maybe having structure and routine would help bring some small sense of security back. Everyone deals with trauma in their own way. You will figure out what is best for your family.

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For the recently traumatized I have noticed these trends of increase that affect academic time:

 

Desire to hear more stories

 

Desire to hear their holybook. Explore ways to use the holybook as a textbook.

 

Desire to hear more music

 

Desire for opportunities to create–art and poetry especially

 

Desire to cook breads and soups and other earthy and primitive foods. Lessons that revolve around food.

 

Desire to see and use color–thank God for cheap and neat crayons and pens. Color theory lessons and charts tend to be welcome.

 

Desire to draw patterns, borders, and work on handwriting. Zentangles. Celtic knotwork.

 

Desire to observe and learn about Phenology. Cycles are grounding.

http://www.nwf.org/Wildlife/Wildlife-Conservation/Phenology.aspx

 

Desire to keep track of the moons and tides and anything that cycles. Not only does the shape of the moon change but the rising times and locations change. This is VERY obvious in the city, when we have to hunt for the moon among the tall buildings.

 

Calendar and journal work of all kinds. The desire to use main lesson books and composition notebooks instead of loose leaf paper and workbooks. New notebooks and planners are welcome, as are units on time management and sometimes even study skills. Anything that smacks of gaining control over chaos, and a new personal book to hold onto.

 

The desire to review maths instead of learn new topics. The desire to explore enrichment maths and read biographies of mathematicians. Sometimes I'll cover the units on measuring, time, money and whatever else is independent of the arithmetic sequence, trying to use non textbook resources if possible.

 

The desire for science to be more practical and less abstract. Now is not a good time to cover cells, but it is a good time to cover something more observable and will help explain something that frequently happens in the student's daily life.

 

Sometimes history can be gruesome. Sometimes there is an increase in desire for geography over history. Maps are funny–sometimes they can be too abstract for some students, but for others they can be as fascinating and transporting as a story.

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Amy, I just read your blog post. :grouphug: What an ordeal.

After such trauma, your focus needs to be on healing, for the entire family. Do what feels good for your family, what you all crave to feel safe, and do not worry about regular schooling.

This may be a time for stories, journaling, painting. Not a time to increase your stress by worrying about content subjects.

 

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I just read your blog also. I am so sorry and will be praying. I have to add that I read quite a bit more than the linked entry. Absolutely fascinating and very inspirational.

 

I wouldn't worry too much about traditional school right now. Books and games should be fine while your son is healing and you are all settling into your move.

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I wanted to add that recently traumatized students like to reread and hear books that they used during safer times.

 

And my students that were never safe like to hear the stories that they missed out on.

 

I have students that want me to read them Winnie the Pooh and Peter Rabbit or give them a copy they can read themself. I'm often asked what "normal" or "private school" kids read.

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