14 y.o.'s Writing is Too Conversational

[southmetromom]

Dear Friends,

 

A friend of mine has a 14 y.o. girl who writes in a very conversational, as opposed to academic, style.  She is in a homeschool co-op that is using Winston Grammar plus writing assignments that sort of combine IEW with traditional composition tools.

Can anyone please recommend how my friend can help/teach/encourage her daughter to write more academically?  She probably isn't up for purchasing a curriculum or signing up for an online course -- but perhaps a website or some tips, tricks, a library book with ideas -- would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance,

 

Sandy in CO

(aka southmetromom)

[forty-two]

How much material written in an academic style does she *read*? At 14 she might not have much exposure to reading academic works (lots of school books for elementary are written pretty conversationally), and it's really hard for any of the usual "do the academic *this* instead of the conversational *that*" writing advice to make any sense without having an intuitive sense of what academic writing looks like in the first place. And it helps to flesh out the advice when you can refer back to real life examples in context.

[EndOfOrdinary]

The Schaffer Paragraph model can help.  It takes a student step by step, sentence by sentence through a paragraph.  It is definitely something to work on as with high school it is necessary.  Dh is a high school English teacher and this topic is on the top of the list for his average 9th graders.  Some are really low, so the top of the list is general sentence grammar.

 

ETA: Just google Schaffer Paragraph Model.  You do not need to purchase any curriculum.

[lauranc]

Have her take a look at this  http://www.amazon.com/They-Say-Matter-Academic-Writing/dp/039393361X

 

 

[PeterPan]

Maybe it's a little ironic that academics are trying to return voice and beauty to academic writing while in the homeschoolers are trying to do the reverse and take it out?   :)  http://www.amazon.com/dp/0674064488/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=3R2DJ123LBWAQ&coliid=I3SMEZSK1UUXMO

 

The Purdue OWL has what she's looking for, and it's all free.  Here's the link.  https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/2/

 

[Paige]

My DS does the same. To turn his conversational essay into a more appropriate format I tell him to:

 

-remove contractions

- remove any 1st and 2nd person perspectives

-remove rhetorical questions

- remove all colloquialisms and slang

- remove cliches

- look for sentences that assume the audience knows something, and flesh it out so that few assumptions are made

- replace weak nouns and verbs with ones that have more meaning

 

Usually, if we do all of the above, we can redeem the paper. I think consistent editing and revision can help without too much extra work. I give DS a checklist, but he doesn't always follow it. It's a battle to get him to accept that a conversational tone is not acceptable in every paper. 

 

I know that when I wrote academic papers that I occasionally broke some of my own rules, but with DS I won't let him break them until he consistently can follow them. 

[MerryAtHope]

She should identify things that her daughter says in her writing that are not appropriate, and then let her daughter know, before the next assignment, what not to do. Paige gave some good examples. Another might be writing in 2nd person. 

 

Have her daughter envision different types of audiences--for example:

 

small children

elders

family

friends

perspective boss

customers (in a working environment)

the president

 

It wouldn't be appropriate to use the same type of tone and voice in all of those situations. Neither is it appropriate to use the same approach in all papers. Then let her know when she needs to use that more formal, less chatty type of tone.

[kiwik]

I read it as too controversial.

[daijobu]

Can anyone please recommend how my friend can help/teach/encourage her daughter to write more academically?  She probably isn't up for purchasing a curriculum or signing up for an online course -- but perhaps a website or some tips, tricks, a library book with ideas -- would be appreciated.

 

 

 

I like the MCT philosophy about writing academically versus conversationally.  When we write emails or just speak among colleagues, we don't have the time or inclination to select the best word or restructure a sentence so it's just right.  I don't walk around carrying thesaurus when I jot off an email to a friend.  If I don't know the correct word off hand, I may use an adequate synonym with a bunch of adjectives.  

 

When writing something meaningful, in which you want to present evidence and convince the reader of your point of view, and you have the time for multiple revisions, that is when you consult your thesaurus for the best word.  That is when you consider whether 2 sentences should be combined into one, or is it too long for the reader to follow?  That is when you decide that maybe a little alliteration would be a nice addition to make a sentence more poetic.