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Calling colleges on behalf of your kid


Daria
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DS told me last night that he has chosen where he wants to go to college, two and a half years from now.   I think it's a little early, and a little optimistic since the school only accepts about 50% of applicants.  Nonetheless, I think the school has the potential to be a good fit for him.  He has some very specific interests, and this school has all of them, plus it's a reasonable distance away, and the grades and test scores seem like a potential match.

 

DS is probably going to go back to PS next year.  If he goes he'll hopefully take a mix of vocational classes, online classes, and academic classes at the school.  I have some specific questions about how this combination might look to colleges, so I emailed "The Dean" from College Confidential who emailed back and suggested that I call the schools he's interested in, find out the name of the admissions officer who is in charge of our high school, and email them the questions so that we have a paper trail.  She said that this would be "showing interest" so it would be considered a good thing.

 

Is this something you'd do?  Does it look totally helicopter mom for me to be the one calling?  Does it have the potential to backfire?

 

I should add that this is a tiny private school, with under 1,000 kids.  If I call and don't give my name, I can imagine the admissions officer remembering and making a connection down the road.   I already called one of the state universities to get their perspective, and they didn't even ask my name.  I figure they'll never connect a random phone call with an applicant two years later.

 

I'm also curious for those of you with kids already in college.  If your kid "knew" where they wanted to go when they were 15, did it stick?  Did the end up at the same school, or even the same type of school (e.g. in this case, small, rural LAC). 

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I'm also curious for those of you with kids already in college.  If your kid "knew" where they wanted to go when they were 15, did it stick?  Did the end up at the same school, or even the same type of school (e.g. in this case, small, rural LAC). 

 

I struggle myself with when it is or is not appropriate to make calls on my children's behalf.  I am wrestling with that this week.

 

As to the above, my DS knew at age 11 where he wanted to go to college.  He nurtured that dream and has done everything in his power to be a worthy/desirable applicant.  He has applied and is waiting the admission decision.  Will he get in?  Admit rates are against him.  I am simply happy that he set the goal and followed through.

 

The other schools to which he has applied vary.  He chose small rural LACs, small urban LACs, large state research unis, and small STEM schools.  The only common thread is that each of the schools has a degree program and research opportunities in which DS is highly interested.

 

HTH

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I don't think there's anything wrong with you calling to find out the name of and email for the admissions officer who handles your DS's high school.  If anyone asks, tell them that your DS has some questions he'd like to contact the admissions officer about.  And then have your DS do the emailing.  With your help, if needed

 

Oldest DS never had a dream school.  He had quite a few that appealed to him, from small liberal arts schools to the large state flagship he ended up at.  He did, however, know in middle school what he wanted to major in.  So far that hasn't changed a bit.

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I don't think it's ever too early for a student to begin advocating for himself. If it were my child, I would talk through my questions/concerns about the school with him, then let him write the email on his email account and allow me to edit it (with him by my side) before sending it out. That way, he would know exactly what your questions are, especially if he'll be at ps and might need to make some of those decisions without you there, and it allows him to see ways to handle questions and concerns before he has to handle them himself. I also believe if it's the student making the contact, the school is more likely to take into consideration the level of commitment.

 

FTR, I've done the same thing with each of my kids, including telling my 8th grade son if he wanted a specific question answered about the high school, he needed to contact the guidance counselor at the high school and ask her himself.

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Wilrunner, ordinarily I'd agree with you.  I'm a big believer in kids advocating for themselves, and I've done similar things to what you describe.  Right now, though, he's struggling with severe anxiety related specifically to academics.  Returning to PS (or not returning, something I'd be fine with) is anxiety provoking enough without me introducing the idea that he might not be ready for college.  So, if I'm going to get the answer to these questions, I need to be the one asking.  

 

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Wilrunner, ordinarily I'd agree with you.  I'm a big believer in kids advocating for themselves, and I've done similar things to what you describe.  Right now, though, he's struggling with severe anxiety related specifically to academics.  Returning to PS (or not returning, something I'd be fine with) is anxiety provoking enough without me introducing the idea that he might not be ready for college.  So, if I'm going to get the answer to these questions, I need to be the one asking.  

 

Then ask. I emailed admissions quite a few times with questions from the position of "guidance counselor" for my homeschooled student. Public school students have a guidance counselor that would call and ask these questions for them. There is no reason your child shouldn't.

 

The admissions people have always been very willing to help and ds was admitted with top scholarships to both schools where he applied, including the very small school that probably remembers every contact I've ever made :). 

 

For the record ds has multiple disabilities and his ability to self-advocate is limited. He has emailed, scheduled a visit, and talked to admissions on the phone at least once. I didn't do everything. I just did the things I thought I ps guidance counselor would do.

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Is this something you need to know right away?  If not, I'd wait until after May 1st when this year's admissions cycle is done. You'll be more likely to get someone who could spend some time with you discussing the situation.

 

I'd rather know the answers before we pick his last round of homeschool classes, which will probably be around April 1, although I can push it back a little. Do you think the admissions officers would be more receptive to a call now, or late March/early April?

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Daria, I would definitely be the one making the call.  He's only a high school sophomore!  Personally, I am adamant about making my kids take care of things, but when my daughter went to college, she pointed out that almost all of the freshmen had moms doing things that I make her do.  She thinks I'm overcompensating for being a homeschool mom, lol.

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My daughter attends a small, private, college prep school. They say that schools, especially the small ones, track each time contact is made with the school. The more contact made with the school the better, BUT it must be made by the student. Contact made by the parent istypically looked upon negatively.

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I emailed admissions quite a few times with questions from the position of "guidance counselor" for my homeschooled student...

 

The admissions people have always been very willing to help...

 

I just did the things I thought I thought a ps guidance counselor would do.

 

:iagree: with all of the above.  I contacted several schools in the role of guidance counselor in order to understand how they would perceive various academic options.  In every instance, the admissions officers were extremely receptive and helpful.

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My daughter attends a small, private, college prep school. They say that schools, especially the small ones, track each time contact is made with the school. The more contact made with the school the better, BUT it must be made by the student. Contact made by the parent istypically looked upon negatively.

 

That's what I had kind of assumed, which is why I'm worried about making contact myself.

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