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I want to raise my children Christian, but not go to the local churches


Elisabet1
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What if you want to raise your children Christian, but do not want to get in to things with the local churches?

 

Basically, the local church of our own religion is quite anti-home school. We attended for years but once we started home schooling, we got enough backlash over it that we stopped going. We tried to go to churches that were popular with home schoolers, but they just were not fits that my husband or I were comfortable with. We have not tried every church yet or anything. But my husband definitely does not want to try out anymore churches right now, and I kind of feel the same way. In the meantime, I am worried about how to handle things with the kids and this? I do not feel the need to explain why we are not going to church. I am just worried about how to have the religion in their lives when we are not physically attending a church. 

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The scriptures say to gather together with other Christians. Do you have any Christian friends you can gather with? If so, ask if they will come and do a quick bible study with you from time to time.

 

Find out in the scriptures what Christians are supposed to do--feed the hungry, care for widows and orphans, etc. Find a way to those things. You can sponser a child as a family, drop off gloves and chapstick at a homeless mission, volunteer at a mission, whatever level of involvement you can handle.

 

Read the bible each day in an easy to read version for kids (contemporary English verson is the one we use). Explain everything. Maybe only read a couple of scriptures at a time so it's not overwhelming. If you take the time to explain everything 3 or 4 verses can take a while to explain.

 

Tell your kids your thought processes about everything. If you were thinking of yelling an obscenity at a driver tell them, "I really wanted to cuss out that person, but the bible says that blessings and cursings shouldn't come from the same lips so I didn't. The bible says to pray for your enemies. That driver isn't an enemy, but let's pray for her real quick anyway."

 

If anything reminds you of a biblical truth, talk about it. Our family adopted an olderkitten the other day. We talked about how we looked very carefully for a cat that matched our family. We were swayed by the cute tiny kitten, but we needed an older one to match our older cat better, so we passed over the cute tiny kitten. We talked about how when we are choosing a spouse we don't go for the flashy choice that doesn't match what we really need. We stop and pray and consider what person will best match ourselves. Find ways like that to link everything to your Christian values.

 

Everything they need to learn will come solely from you so talk about it constantly. Constantly explain all your actions, emotions, and motives for the things you do. Tell them that you are doing these things because this is what Jesus told us to do. Find the scriptures to back it up when you tell them. You can do this throughout the day or, if you're rushing around, jot a note and then recap these things every evening or every few days.

 

You'll have to be on your game and making a point of living a robust Christian life so they get a sense of what it means to be a Christian.

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We home churched for a while. We got together with a group of like minded individuals, sang praise songs, watched a sermon, discussed it, had dinner together afterward, read the same books during the week and discussed them when we got together. It was a time of great spiritual growth, but it was also a time in which we became extremely legalistic. Some of the families, including us, wanted to continue going to our little white churches so home church met in the evenings.

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I'm with you. We just haven't loved a local church enough to want to join or attend often, even though nobody's been hostile to homeschooling.

 

You can read and discuss the Bible at home. You can pray and sing praises to God at home. You can search out commentaries and sermons online to get wider perspectives.

 

My mother and I have discussed the role of church, both now and when it first started. I do think there's something about the idea of a larger community (beyond just Mom and Dad saying so) supporting people in their Christian walk, and there's something beautiful about corporate praise, everyone singing together. But there are other ways to achieve those ends.

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I think it's totally possible but difficult.  The world puts so much pressure on us in the *opposite* direction, that if you don't have the support of fellowship and regular spiritual reminders you have to be extremely committed and disciplined to keep Christian thought and activity as part of your daily life.  It is very easy to drift away from regular spiritual routine, because that's what the world is geared to do, distract from God.  

 

The advice so far is good, especially Garga's.  I would just add to be especially on the watch not to lose focus.

 

ETA, the comparison to homeschooling is apt.  Homeschooling is great, but we've all seen families who lacked the commitment/discipline to do a good job at it.  Doing it well requires a lot of work. ;)

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It was a time of great spiritual growth, but it was also a time in which we became extremely legalistic.

That seems to happen a lot. I wonder why that is?

 

OP--you'd want to beware of that happening. In a small church or home church it's easy to think, "We are all so committed to this and there's no fanfare and hoopla like in other churches. We've stripped away all the silliness and what we're doing is true and deep and more meaningful than the ritual that other churches get roped into."

 

I went to a small church and that sentiment would come up from time to time. We're doing it right. We're more committed than others.

 

It was a shock to me when I went from a church of 15 people (where I was raised and stayed in my 20s) to a church of 1500 (when I turned 30). I was surprised that people in such a big church were actually as committed and knowledgable as I was.

 

So, you'd want to guard against thinking that you guys have all the answers and everyone else is just fumbling around. It can be damaging to a child's walk to start thinking that way. I think that's why we're told in the scriptures not to forsake gathering together. We need to see that we're not all that. We're not the special few who know the right way to do things. No--we're all brothers and sisters together and we all help each other.

 

OK--enough preaching. I only posted this because I was raised in a church with only 15 people. We didn't meet in someone's home. We had a little storefront, but it was basically a home church. You'll want to be sure to tell your kids that there are many other Christians out there who are just as committed and knowledgable as you are. Which prophet was it whining about how he was the oooonly one who still served God, and God told him, "Um, no. There are still a thousand (or whatever the number was) following me in town." We can get a little martyr syndrome if we're not careful.

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That seems to happen a lot. I wonder why that is?

 

OP--you'd want to beware of that happening. In a small church or home church it's easy to think, "We are all so committed to this and there's no fanfare and hoopla like in other churches. We've stripped away all the silliness and what we're doing is true and deep and more meaningful than the ritual that other churches get roped into."

 

I went to a small church and that sentiment would come up from time to time. We're doing it right. We're more committed than others.

 

It was a shock to me when I went from a church of 15 people (where I was raised and stayed in my 20s) to a church of 1500 (when I turned 30). I was surprised that people in such a big church were actually as committed and knowledgable as I was.

 

So, you'd want to guard against thinking that you guys have all the answers and everyone else is just fumbling around. It can be damaging to a child's walk to start thinking that way. I think that's why we're told in the scriptures not to forsake gathering together. We need to see that we're not all that. We're not the special few who know the right way to do things. No--we're all brothers and sisters together and we all help each other.

 

OK--enough preaching. I only posted this because I was raised in a church with only 15 people. We didn't meet in someone's home. We had a little storefront, but it was basically a home church. You'll want to be sure to tell your kids that there are many other Christians out there who are just as committed and knowledgable as you are. Which prophet was it whining about how he was the oooonly one who still served God, and God told him, "Um, no. There are still a thousand (or whatever the number was) following me in town." We can get a little martyr syndrome if we're not careful.

It was not so much the committed vs not committed that was an issue. The church we attended for many years was very against home schooling and their comments got to my children. Plus, as the kids got older, it seemed that oddly, the kids in this church were mostly the jocks from the local high school. They were very loud and obnoxious and ignored my geeky children. The parents and staff were the critical ones. As if my child were going to suddenly become a loud football player or cheerleader just because we send our child to public school. My children would be geeks wherever they went. And there are geeks at the public school. Then the church was falling apart so they did extensive changes. They saw a more than 50% drop in attendance during this time. They had to cut back to two services total, despite being a medium sized church. And they went to a loud church feel.  Like, dancers in the aisles and loud clapping during offering time. We left and went to this other church where I loved the people and the attitudes and everything. It felt like a perfect fit. But, for whatever reason, the pastor had to throw in remarks about accepting his disabled child and not aborting and how disapproving others have been in each sermon, while his child sat there listening. And, the pastor seemed to not be capable of getting through a sermon without telling us how bad gay people were. I wanted to hear more about how I should be and live my life, not how to judge others. I know some of the families left and went to different churches of the same denomination about 45+ minutes away. But it is hard enough to get this entire family out the door without committing to that long of a drive. Plus, I want to be involved with my church, not have it so far away that it just cannot work out.

 

I do not want my children to be thrown in to the local public high school scene. So it is important to me that the church have a fair amount of home schoolers. But I also want a church that is more traditional with hymns and all. The other churches we have attended that are popular with home schoolers seem to have tons of hard music, no hymns, etc. 

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Yes, I see. But you're talking from the grown-up's point of view. I'm just saying that as a kid raised in a church with only 15 people, it was easy to fall into the trap that another poster mentioned of becoming legalistic. It's easy to fall into thinking that your church or way is the only way. Because as a kid, that's all you know.

 

You, as an adult, know there's more to the world. But to the kids, if all they see is what you and only a few others do, they're not going to know that there are many other Christians out there just like them. They'll think, "Oh, other Christians tell us how bad gay people are and judge. Other Christians only want to be jocks and cheerleaders."

 

I wasn't saying that you don't know these things. But kids only see what we show them. When you're young and you only see a tiny little group doing it the "right" way, you figure that your tiny little group is the only one who has it right.

 

And you might not fall into that trap at all! I hope not. It's just a common trap. Beware of it and avoid it. :)

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I miss traditional hymns so much too! I have nothing against most modern praise choruses, but I really miss traditional hymns in church. I'm just not much into contemporary. I really, really miss the church I grew up in, and nothing ever seems to compare to it. (My parents say that church isn't even the same church it was when we were growing up too. There often seems to be a confusion of glitz and substance, and that is frustrating.)

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Have you tried finding a good church/teacher online and watching their sermons online together?  I like our church but do not love it--I don't love *going* to church--but I honestly love the teaching.  Sometimes we stay home and watch the service and then pray together and discuss the teaching or delve further into the Scripture passage.  I would say that knowing and living the teachings of Jesus are the most important, and then studying Scripture together, praying for one another and others, and serving...all of these are at least as valuable as attending a church service!  :)  You could also join in many local churches' service and mission work projects without becoming members.  In this way, you could possibly make friends for your family and maybe start up a study group or whatever you want to call it in each others' homes, etc.

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What if you want to raise your children Christian, but do not want to get in to things with the local churches?

 

Basically, the local church of our own religion is quite anti-home school. We attended for years but once we started home schooling, we got enough backlash over it that we stopped going. We tried to go to churches that were popular with home schoolers, but they just were not fits that my husband or I were comfortable with. We have not tried every church yet or anything. But my husband definitely does not want to try out anymore churches right now, and I kind of feel the same way. In the meantime, I am worried about how to handle things with the kids and this? I do not feel the need to explain why we are not going to church. I am just worried about how to have the religion in their lives when we are not physically attending a church. 

 

Alas, I don't think it would be the best thing to do that.

 

We need fellow believers for many reasons, including helping us from going off into error because there is no one except ourselves to question our doctrine; also, we all have gifts that we are supposed to share within the church. There's also a certain level of pride when we think we don't need anyone else, an attitude that will likely rub off on your children.

 

We are part of the Body of Christ, and He did not mean for us to live as hermits (unless you are one of the few whom God calls to live as hermits).

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Alas, I don't think it would be the best thing to do that.

 

We need fellow believers for many reasons, including helping us from going off into error because there is no one except ourselves to question our doctrine; also, we all have gifts that we are supposed to share within the church. There's also a certain level of pride when we think we don't need anyone else, an attitude that will likely rub off on your children.

 

We are part of the Body of Christ, and He did not mean for us to live as hermits (unless you are one of the few whom God calls to live as hermits).

 

I agree with this, and I also think corporate worship is integral to being a Christian.  Not just Christian education or teaching and studying, but actual worship of God with other believers.  Somany people going to church today base their choice on who they like to hear from, how "good" the teaching is, etc, but if you find yourself in a less than ideal church situation I think it's important to remember that our goal with church should be primarily to worship God.

 

Christian education is good, but it has to be done with a goal in mind, otherwise it's just a set of stories and moral lessons.

 

I know there are varying degrees of thought on this, but I agree with Ellie that the Christian life is not meant to be lived without other believers, as messy and undesirable as that may be at times.

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There are so many "one another" commands in the NT, so much about the Body of Christ and how each part needs the others. It's just hard to make a case for going it alone as Christians. That said, your concerns and reasons are legit. I'd keep praying and searching, taking breaks to be home as a family as you need them.

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For where two or three are assembled in my name (Jesus), there am I in the midst of them . ...

 

When there are two of more people gathered to worship christ and are teaching his gospel then is his spirit is there!

 

I have Church nearly daily just by gathering my children together and praying, praising and reading the Bible.

 

I also have Christian friends that I fellowship with, run scriptures by, pray for one another etc...

 

Going to Church doesn't make one a Christian. But a relationship with Christ does. Jesus wasn't bound down by a building. Use the world as your Church, like homeschooling uses it a classroom. ;-)

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We home churched for a while. We got together with a group of like minded individuals, sang praise songs, watched a sermon, discussed it, had dinner together afterward, read the same books during the week and discussed them when we got together. It was a time of great spiritual growth, but it was also a time in which we became extremely legalistic. Some of the families, including us, wanted to continue going to our little white churches so home church met in the evenings.

 

I've known several people who home-churched and not one of them became legalistic because of that.  I think people might be legalistic to begin with, but I don't think home-churching is going to make one that way.

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For where two or three are assembled in my name (Jesus), there am I in the midst of them . ...

 

When there are two of more people gathered to worship christ and are teaching his gospel then is his spirit is there!

 

I have Church nearly daily just by gathering my children together and praying, praising and reading the Bible.

 

This interpretation is a (common) example of taking a verse out of context. Matt 18 is about church discipline. Jesus is no more "with us" when we are gathered with other believers than when we are alone. 

 

http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2012/08/where-two-or-three-are-gathered-and-other-bad-interpretations/

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I want to have educated children, but not send them to the local schools.

 

;-)

Would you be willing to form a small co-op? Religious-based homeschooling groups aren't remotely uncommon. You can choose a religious ed curriculum that's a little more in-depth than anyone would have time for in Sunday school. You could meet periodically to review homework (keep everyone accountable/motivated to do the actual lessons), sing some songs, and have a fun recess/craft for the kids and coffee-chat for the moms.

 

If it were me, I'd pick the curriculum/plan I want first, THEN seek out friends to join us. There may be a community of people who home-church, or attend churches that aren't too supportive of homeschooling, or just want to 'afterschool' to supplement Sunday school lessons.

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This interpretation is a (common) example of taking a verse out of context. Matt 18 is about church discipline. Jesus is no more "with us" when we are gathered with other believers than when we are alone.

 

http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2012/08/where-two-or-three-are-gathered-and-other-bad-interpretations/

 

So, we need a building? What happens if you don't live near one? Too bad, can't be a Christian then?????

 

That is just someone's opinion. ...I could link 50 links supporting what the Bible says, it means.

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So, we need a building? What happens if you don't live near one? Too bad, can't be a Christian then?????

 

That is just someone's opinion. ...I could link 50 links supporting what the Bible says, it means.

 

That you need a building and can't be a Christian without one doesn't remotely relate to what I posted.

 

I just said that the Matt 18 verse that you quoted does not, in its context, indicate that there's some kind of special quorum for Jesus's presence when there are 2 or 3. Did you read the article I linked? Have you studied that verse in context? It is NOT about Jesus/the Spirit being "more with you" when there are 2 or 3 people (thank goodness for those who are alone a lot!). It's about how to handle sin. 

 

Do I think you can be a Christian without attending a church? Absolutely. Do I think God's plan for His people includes being in relationship with one another in a context that includes pastors/teachers? Absolutely. It's pretty clear in Ephesians and Acts (and elsewhere).

 

Maybe staying home is better than attending an unbiblical, heretical, homeschool-bashing, or hypocritical church. Then stay home! I'm just saying that I think the NT makes it clear that God wants His people to enjoy being part of a Body, for their good and His glory.

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What if you want to raise your children Christian, but do not want to get in to things with the local churches?

 

Basically, the local church of our own religion is quite anti-home school. We attended for years but once we started home schooling, we got enough backlash over it that we stopped going. We tried to go to churches that were popular with home schoolers, but they just were not fits that my husband or I were comfortable with. We have not tried every church yet or anything. But my husband definitely does not want to try out anymore churches right now, and I kind of feel the same way. In the meantime, I am worried about how to handle things with the kids and this? I do not feel the need to explain why we are not going to church. I am just worried about how to have the religion in their lives when we are not physically attending a church. 

That stance is surprising, unless your church has its own schools (like the RCC), in which case it makes more sense. 

 

You don't really have "religion in your lives", in my view.  As a Christian, r you have a relationship with Jesus that is an integral part of your everyday life, and hence, a part of your childrens' lives.   You teach them what you know and where you turn, in everyday life. 

 

It is harder not to attend church only because we all need the encouragement of being with other believers, because it helps us stay strong. 

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So, what happens when your kids leave home?  Will they know how to link into Christian fellowship?  Will they become their own authorities as to the Christian faith? 

 

I'm not asking you this in a rude voice, but in a voice that says that I have faced down a crisis that was essentially the same thing, and when I finally figured out what I was doing by being all on my own, it rocked my world. 

 

Someday, you will not be in your children's homes.  Your role is diminishing, and will continue to do so over the years (at least in most cases).  What will be the resource for your children to be part of the body of Christ?  

 

 

 

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I've known several people who home-churched and not one of them became legalistic because of that.  I think people might be legalistic to begin with, but I don't think home-churching is going to make one that way.

 

 

I don't know if what I have seen in the home church movement to be legalism, as much as going their own direction and reinforcing each other in their own little interpretations of scripture.

One of the things I gain from a church environment is various views and ideas being shared after hearing a sermon or study on a particular area of the Bible.  

 

We have about 5 families who home church right now, and they really have gone in a direction I would not have expected with some rather out there ideas.

 

But I also agree with those who say that it is Biblical to fellowship with a group of believers, and while a small group may suffice, the Biblical model of a church is what I believe we should follow.

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I can relate to where you are coming from. Since your husband is not interested in attending more churches to try them out, I wonder if it's a good time as a family to seek out, "what is Church?" "What is and makes a Christian?" "What is the Body of Christ?" The ancient church has a much different idea for each of these questions than what you find in modern American evangelical churches. Take a year to dig deeply into church history. Read original source works of the earliest Christians. After some study you may see a whole different picture of being Christian and church attendance and how and why church was done in the early years. An excellent source for free source materials can be found here: http://www.ccel.org/fathers.html

 

I suggest starting with Didache and Justin the Martyr

 

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/schaff/anf01

 

Pay particular attention to the portions on the "Eucharist," this literally means "thanksgiving" and is the word used in these writings for the "communion."

 

When I embarked on a study of church history about 3 years ago, it rocked my world. My entire outlook on Christianity changed *and* it lined up with all those puzzling verses in the Bible- at the same time- when I saw Christianity through the eyes of the early Church. If you choose to study and you like what you see in early Christianity, and you want to participate like they used to, send me a PM. I might be able to find a Church near you which practices the same Christianity that was practiced in the first centuries. They are still practicing the same way today like they did in the earliest times and yes there are plenty of traditional hymns, books and books and books of them and they are ***beautiful***!

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That you need a building and can't be a Christian without one doesn't remotely relate to what I posted.

 

I just said that the Matt 18 verse that you quoted does not, in its context, indicate that there's some kind of special quorum for Jesus's presence when there are 2 or 3. Did you read the article I linked? Have you studied that verse in context? It is NOT about Jesus/the Spirit being "more with you" when there are 2 or 3 people (thank goodness for those who are alone a lot!). It's about how to handle sin.

 

Do I think you can be a Christian without attending a church? Absolutely. Do I think God's plan for His people includes being in relationship with one another in a context that includes pastors/teachers? Absolutely. It's pretty clear in Ephesians and Acts (and elsewhere).

 

Maybe staying home is better than attending an unbiblical, heretical, homeschool-bashing, or hypocritical church. Then stay home! I'm just saying that I think the NT makes it clear that God wants His people to enjoy being part of a Body, for their good and His glory.

Sorry, no I didn't read it. We have Australia Day today so was rushing to get the picnic together etc....

 

Great you get that part about it not being about the *building*. As, I want to add that the early church met at each others homes.

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What if you want to raise your children Christian, but do not want to get in to things with the local churches?

 

Basically, the local church of our own religion is quite anti-home school. We attended for years but once we started home schooling, we got enough backlash over it that we stopped going. We tried to go to churches that were popular with home schoolers, but they just were not fits that my husband or I were comfortable with. We have not tried every church yet or anything. But my husband definitely does not want to try out anymore churches right now, and I kind of feel the same way. In the meantime, I am worried about how to handle things with the kids and this? I do not feel the need to explain why we are not going to church. I am just worried about how to have the religion in their lives when we are not physically attending a church. 

 

There is only one Christian church local to you?   Or do you mean your specific denomination? 

 

I understand being frustrated by not finding a good fit.  I think for your kids' sakes (if not your own) you should find a body of believers of which they/you can be a part.   Are there related or similar denominations within a reasonable distance?   (For example, we belong to the Orthodox Presbyterian Church but it is a small denom; if we moved to a place without one we could probably find a PCA or OEPC church at which to land.)

 

You might at least see if you can find a youth group for your kids.  My kids go to youth groups at churches not our own.  One is not even our denom.  Our church doesn't have enough teens to have a youth group (basically my two and two others who are not interested).

 

Another thing you could do would be for you and your husband to take turns trying out new churches, maybe try for a once a month visit.  That might help you avoid church-search burnout.   On the other weeks, you can do church at home.

 

If you don't explain to your kids why you are not going to church, they are likely to think it's because you've determined church is no longer important.  So why would it be important to them? 

 

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I suggest taking a break.

If you feel the need/desire to find/go to church consider trying one that someone you knows goes to.

 

Lastly, don't feel guilt to go to church. I did for years, it ate me up inside, I would hate for anyone to ever go through that.

 

At the end of the day, you/your husband need to decide what is RIGHT for your family.

 

We've had seasons where we were really active and involved in a church and at other times in our lives we didn't go for years. Do what is best for your family at this season in your life. 

 

 

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I'm amazed at how many people here honestly believe that a person can't be a Christian unless they go to church.  My daughter and I didn't go to church for years because we couldn't find one that we both liked and didn't want to go alone.  People for centuries were Christians when there were no churches close-by.  I have to disagree that you can't be a Christian unless you go to church.  It takes work to be a Christian either way, but it isn't impossible. 

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I don't think anyone said a person wasn't Christian if they didn't go to church, did they?  In our faith (Orthodoxy), we believe that it's within the church that we can best work out our salvation (that it's where the tools are for doing so: the Eucharist, the sacraments, the prayers, the communion with others, etc.).  We personally ourselves would find it pretty near impossible to be on this journey without the Church (although there have been some that have done it, like St. Mary of Egypt), but we would never ever say someone else isn't Christian if they didn't go to church or weren't involved in a church. 

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I can relate.  We live in a small town and could not really find a church that felt right.  However, we picked one that at least had people who we liked and respected.  We figured we could always talk to our kids privately about what we agreed or disagreed with.  We felt it was important to get our children in the habit and discipline of being part of a church community.  I think personally, my biggest reason for that is because we will almost all go through either periods of difficulty (such as doubt, loneliness, or tragedy) or just plain laziness.  Having a church community can surely help get you through those times.  I also think it's important because other people's ideas and beliefs challenge us and keep us growing in our faith, even if it's the result of a negative reaction to them.

 

At the same time, I see nothing wrong with taking a break from church for awhile, and I certainly don't believe you're not a true believer if you aren't part of a church.

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I speak with a lot of Christian brothers and sisters online who are without a church and aren't sure what to do. This is not an uncommon situation for the days in which we live. God knew it would become like this, and he has tried to prepare us for it.

 

In the sincere cases, it's not that Christians today don't want to attend a church, but it is because of their experiences and convictions that they can no longer go along with what their fellowship has become.

 

One way to break it down is to list what your convictions are. What things are enough to break fellowship over? And what things can you disagree with, but still be around?

 

The best advice that I have heard for those without a church is to start one. (However I think you really need the man/husband to have this on his heart to do.) Give it to God in prayer. Let him lead likeminded believers into your life. Fellowship is necessary, but we aren't to go along with heresy and compromise. God knows our situation and he isn't going to force us to go to a church, especially when it is the Holy Ghost convicting us against it.

 

 

I'm believer who is not attending a church as this point in my life because I believe that our option of the local church would do us more spiritual harm than good. I'm left wondering what perspective my children will grow up without a "church" if one doesn't come up soon. But I know that I am trusting God in my situation, and that my husband and I are giving them a very strong foundation. We are blessed to have a few Christian homeschooling friends in their life as well, and we do fellowship with our saved family and friends when we can.

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...I am just worried about how to have the religion in their lives when we are not physically attending a church.

Within my own situation, I believe that my children have a much better foundation than I did growing up. I was in church and also attended a Christian school, but my parents left off their own spiritual responsibilities at home, and trusted the school and church to do what they should have been doing as parents.

 

My children have a far greater knowledge of scripture than I did even as a young adult, and they also see real relationships with God modelled because we are in the word daily (almost) and pray together. (Not just on Sunday's.) They are a real part of our church fellowship, and don't just attend somewhere and get ignored because they are children.

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Could you go to the further away church once a month, rather than once a week? So they get some of the benefits, even if not everything you want? Or is there another, similar denomination you can attend close by?  My biggest advice would be "don't let perfect be the enemy of the good". Don't not go to church because no church meets all your needs. Better to get some needs met, than none. Any whisper to wait until things are perfect is NOT from God. He knows the world is fallen. 

 

That said, of course don't attend a church that is teaching things that you are very against, or that you think will lead your children astray. But there is a difference between that and "the music isn't very good" or "the people wear jeans" or whatever. (thing I've said to myself about churches..not picking on you...I've just been there, done that.)

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