Tsuga Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 I understand where you're coming from, Binip. You only have so much "fight" in you each day, and when it all gets used up by the bare minimum activities of daily living, like brushing teeth, there's not much emotional reserve left for fighting even more battles. That's why my kids are starting school next week. The situation is not as extreme, but bad enough that I wasn't giving them the education I wanted them to have. :grouphug: Major hugs. It is very hard when we want to give our kids so much and there is only so much they can receive from any one person. Your family will be in my thoughts during your transition! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uff Da! Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I tried insisting that my kids argue well and teaching them to argue but that only works when there's energy to spare on all sides. One of my friends mentioned the idea of teaching kids to say "Yes, Mom" or "Yes, Dad" as a habitual response. I do think argueing can be a habitual response. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 Yeah. I believe that an argument should always follow a respectful acknowledgment of the other person's request. I mean I don't start out at work saying "noooooo..... you ALWAYS want me to make a first draft...." :sulk: There is a way to respectfully argue your point, in my opinion. But of course it all takes time. "Can we talk about this after I use the bathroom?" "I hear you. You were thinking 10 minutes after dinner. I was thinking something different." "Yes mom--but can I finish this first? It will take about 20 minutes." And so on. Then of course they need to respect, "This is not up for discussion." (I would shout for emergencies but those are rare.) We are slowly, slowly getting there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Posting so I can come back and finish reading this later. I'm scrolling through all your thoughts for motivation, LOL!! January has been a heck of a month, so I'm doing February resolutions this year. I'll start them on Candlemas/Imbolc/Groundhog's Day with the lighting of a candle. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Can I just say thank you to all who posted? Particularly the music moms. We have practiced music nearly every day. Even if it is just 5 minutes, even if it's just holding the bow. My kids' skills are noticeably improving and their teachers have commented on it. Both reached a different theoretical level in the two first weeks of the year. It's becoming much, much more natural. The "every day" thing seems to be having a really positive effect. It's part of our bedtime routine now and some of the special time we spend together. I've started rewarding them with screen time and we are going from "if you do it" to "if you do it well without complaining" and this week we are moving to "if you do it ON TIME without complaining". Car schooling has yet to happen, but this music thing has actually been transformative because I've realized how important music is to both of them. It is a non-school activity. Thanks for pressing your points in a gentle way. It has really been positive for our family. The middle-schoolers are not yet reading their articles, but I have found a more realistic option: posting a quote or event of the week and discussing it all week with assigned tasks to find out specific things, i.e. who said it, and so on. They find it tedious but oh well... it's more interesting than talking about that week's YouTube video. This is going to be one of those things that I'm willing to be the bad step-mom for. They can despise me but they will be well-educated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 That's great news! We're off to a slow start so far due to illness/injury, but I have all sorts of great ideas swimming in my head. :) I too am going to step up the piano practice now that I have committed to biweekly piano lessons through the remainder of the school year. (We mostly didn't have formal lessons for the past 7 months.) I am thinking of making a checklist to follow, just because there are so many things going on every day, and I tend to forget things when we're very busy. When we forget things, we can't get into a proper routine, and things then seem like more effort. Now to find time to make a checklist ... :P I'm also working on reforming our diet and teaching the girls some more responsibilities. Meanwhile I think I'm going to cut back on the amount of reading I expect my eldest to do this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 How much extra reading does your eldest do? Good for you for getting back into piano! It's so hard to get back into things especially after illness. I started a bullet journal after reading about it on here and it's working... okay. I have to remember that I will just get better and better at it. I need to start putting "make list" as the first list item. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Yay for music practice, glad it is turning out so well :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 How much extra reading does your eldest do? We talked about it on another thread a couple of weeks ago. She would like to make the "wall of fame" by getting 125 AR points. She got 100 last year, but the restrictions were a little looser. She could do 125, but only if she reads ~1hr a day for the rest of the year (longer on weekends). Like you, we have a busy schedule, and that much reading is hard to enforce, adds a lot of stress, and I don't think it's worthwhile. I still have to discuss it with her. Maybe she will decide to make a more focused effort on her own, and I'll help her map it out if that's what she wants, but I don't want to stress about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 I don't remember that thread. I'm sorry! It sounds like something that has to be kid-motivated, I agree. My daughter last year wanted to do a similar school-based challenge that required quite a bit of oversight by yours truly (at least in first grade). Well about halfway through I was like, "I have done so much for you thus far--you are GOING to finish this." Probably not the best idea but I had actually paid for a few projects (materials, etc.). This year she's not doing it. She will do it again when she wants. This is a hard age for stuff like this, I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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