stupidusername Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 She is a freshman at a large public high school. She was minding her own business when all of a sudden -- bam! -- an orange slammed into her head. The pulp and juice got into her hair. An extra level of indignity: A group of boys was VIDEOTAPING this. She didn't see the thrower and doesn't know any of the boys involved. She doesn't want to tell an administrator. But remember, homeschoolers are the ones who are socially maladjusted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I'm sorry this happened to your daughter. Is it possible your daughter has a secret admirer? ( because early teen brains work in mysterious ways) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicholas_mom Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 videotaped!!!!!! Does that mean she will be on Yuotube or just his Facebook?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 videotaped!!!!!! Does that mean she will be on Yuotube or just his Facebook?? Yep, kids do this now. They think up a "prank" to play on an unsuspecting victim and record it to put on youtube hoping to get hits. She needs to tell admin so they can confiscate the video before it's posted (probably to late) or at least punish the little jerks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 She should tell admin. At our school it's illegal to take photos or videos of other students on the school grounds without SCHOOL approval. Our school would take such a thing rather seriously (this incident - just taking photos gets kids a reminder they can't first, but those don't involve violence). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 um, if that was intentional, that's assault.This is an important lesson in dealing with harassment & wrongs. She needs to tell an administrator. If she won't, I'd suggest you do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I will add that I really would prefer those boys not get away with this. Getting away with it will only encourage them. A decent school district will handle it well and STOP this behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 um, if that was intentional, that's assault. This is an important lesson in dealing with harassment & wrongs. She needs to tell an administrator. If she won't, I'd suggest you do it. :iagree: Not only does telling admin. teach her how to stand up for herself but it is the right thing to do. Those kids will think they got away with it and will try a more devious and possibly injurious "prank" next time. I hate tattling (I have younger sibs :glare: ) but I've always thought that my "loyalty" lay with future victims and that children of all ages need to learn that there are consequences to their actions so that they might make better decisions in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I am so sorry this happened to your daughter. If it is posted on YouTube, admin should be able to figure out who did it without her giving names. Also, it should be on surveillance camera from the cafeteria. The admin and resource officers at many schools are pretty good at picking out perpetrators from the camera feed. But if they don't know what happened, they can't help. (Although why there wasn't an adult in the cafeteria to see it happen is not good administration. Our cafeteria has a teacher, 3 admin and a resource officer on duty at all times.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 (Although why there wasn't an adult in the cafeteria to see it happen is not good administration. Our cafeteria has a teacher, 3 admin and a resource officer on duty at all times.) Having pulled my fair share of lunch duty, I can say that we can be there and still not see everything going on. Kids who are doing these sorts of things often are careful as to when they do them to time it all to their benefit. Our school also does not have cameras in the cafeteria, but there are still ways to find things out, esp if she knew where the boys were sitting. If they post on YouTube, they're easily caught IF the admin knows to look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Don't you guys remember high school? I wouldn't tell an administrator either. I would, however, make jokes about it the next day. Instant cool points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Don't you guys remember high school? I wouldn't tell an administrator either. I would, however, make jokes about it the next day. Instant cool points. I'm not so sure. It seems to me to only work this way when the prankster and person are good buddies. When they aren't, kids now either get in their groups to merely sympathize or they start seeing the target as one who is soft - one they can continue to beat upon without repercussions. When kids are buddies, it often isn't a big deal though some still need to learn boundaries. When kids don't know each other they REALLY have to learn boundaries. My school might be exceptional in this (I doubt it), but I've yet to see any case where I've alerted the admin about something and/or encouraged kids to do the same (and they did) that turned out badly. Most teens really are still just learning about life. I've seen plenty where things went on way too far because no one knew what was going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I'm not so sure. It seems to me to only work this way when the prankster and person are good buddies. When they aren't, kids now either get in their groups to merely sympathize or they start seeing the target as one who is soft - one they can continue to beat upon without repercussions. When kids are buddies, it often isn't a big deal though some still need to learn boundaries. When kids don't know each other they REALLY have to learn boundaries. My school might be exceptional in this (I doubt it), but I've yet to see any case where I've alerted the admin about something and/or encouraged kids to do the same (and they did) that turned out badly. Most teens really are still just learning about life. I've seen plenty where things went on way too far because no one knew what was going on. I completely disagree with your entire viewpoint, except for the last part. I'm assuming our schools were very different. I wouldn't joke with girls, but I would with boys, and going to an administrator is being a tattle tale, and in my experience does nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I completely disagree with your entire viewpoint, except for the last part. I'm assuming our schools were very different. I wouldn't joke with girls, but I would with boys, and going to an administrator is being a tattle tale, and in my experience does nothing. And THAT boys & girls is how people get assaulted (including sexually) and fail to report at all or don't come forward till months/years later. It was just fun. He got carried away. He didn't mean it. I didn't want to get him in trouble. Being a tattle tale isn't the worst thing possible. Being a person who commits an assault is much worse but we've somehow turned that all around in this culture.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkT Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I completely disagree with your entire viewpoint, except for the last part. I'm assuming our schools were very different. I wouldn't joke with girls, but I would with boys, and going to an administrator is being a tattle tale, and in my experience does nothing. Well I completely disagree with this statement - the fact that it was being videotaped means it was planned - this kind of crap was not tolerated back in PS before discipline in schools was outlawed - "tattle-tale" this is high school not elementary school - they need to start growing up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I am curious...where in the world do you live? It doesn't sound like your admin is in control of the district, and it doesn't sound like there is a discipline code at all. Had this incident happened here, NE part of US, it would have been shut down as soon as the orange started flying or the camera was visible to a security guard. The viewpoint here is that safety is first. I don't know where the incident happened, but if it wasn't on a bus, it was in a full inclusion environment which means the risk of collateral damage is high. Who needs their kid in the hospital for Christmas because some fool is throwing objects at unsuspecting students? Or worse, a fight breaks out as some boy defends his girlfriend? Again, the viewpoint here is that if its not ok in public, its not ok at school.Being on school grounds doesn't mean that a student can attack another and expect no consequences. Oregon. The VP was completely useless. She blamed me when another student was beating me up. She told me he had anger issues and was in counseling (because that's a totally appropriate thing to tell another student) and that I needed to avoid him. He found out I told on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 And THAT boys & girls is how people get assaulted (including sexually) and fail to report at all or don't come forward till months/years later. It was just fun. He got carried away. He didn't mean it. I didn't want to get him in trouble. Being a tattle tale isn't the worst thing possible. Being a person who commits an assault is much worse but we've somehow turned that all around in this culture.... The kid threw an orange. There would need to be a lot of escalation to get that far, but I wouldn't go to administration over an orange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Well I completely disagree with this statement - the fact that it was being videotaped means it was planned - this kind of crap was not tolerated back in PS before discipline in schools was outlawed - "tattle-tale" this is high school not elementary school - they need to start growing up But it's tolerated now and they won't grow up if they don't have to. I apologize for ticking everybody off. What this boy did was not OK, I just think at this point, she should let it rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 But it's tolerated now and they won't grow up if they don't have to. I apologize for ticking everybody off. What this boy did was not OK, I just think at this point, she should let it rest. It's not tolerated at our school. I guess there probably are schools that still don't give a hoot, but in today's school culture, stopping bullies ranks pretty high on the priority list. Our school does this via a combo of student education (teachings, warnings, etc) and coming down hard on discipline when needed (if the kids blow off the warnings). The vast, vast majority of the kids are well behaved and fun to work with. If they weren't, I wouldn't be spending my 15th year there! But there are always some who are still learning their social skills. I really don't think our school is unusual. I think many have figured out the old school "boys will be boys" mentality has led to many things we don't want our young adults doing. Schools used to count on parents to do the parenting. They don't anymore. We've taken over teaching these boundaries when kids haven't learned them at home. It never used to be that way back when I was in high school, but it sure is that way now where I work. And it's better when the school steps in IMO. Of course, the best is when the parents do it, and some try, but at school the parents aren't around, so someone else may have to enforce those teachings. But the school and those of us in it can't stop what we don't know about and we can't see everything no matter how hard we try. We need students to stick up for themselves and their buddies - not for the bullies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbers6 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 That's battery and punishable by law. And posting the event will add charges. I'm serious. Don't let them get away with it because you're perpetuating it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Interesting that there are many who say this would never be tolerated. In my own experience, many things are tolerated in a public school that are either inappropriate or criminal. I had a can of Sprite poured on my head for refusing to give money to a girl who demanded two quarters from me. I went to tell my first period teacher and found the same girl who just poured the Sprite on my head was leaning against my teacher in a really inappropriate way. I was quite shy but told my teacher- in front of the girl- that she had just demanded my money and since I didn't have any she dumped the Sprite on my head. She was still holding onto the can and my head was still dripping with Sprite. The teacher told me to go get cleaned up and not to be late to class. I went to the front office and tried to report it there and I was again told to hurry up and not be late for class. I am not sure things have changed much in some schools, but I hope they have. (If you are reading this you think it didn't really happen or it was just a joke between friends- I assure you this is NOT the case. There were racial problems at the school and no one in the administration wanted to admit that a white kid could ever be bullied or harassed by someone from another race. It was an awful place to go to school.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Interesting that there are many who say this would never be tolerated. In my own experience, many things are tolerated in a public school that are either inappropriate or criminal. <snip> I agree. My DD was bullied during her sophomore year. We reported it to the admin and were told to let it go. The girl bullying DD was a known gang member with family in the local prison. It was better for us if we just forgot about it as this particular gang had a reputation for retaliation. We then approached the police and filed a report. Nothing ever happened to the bully. DD was reprimanded for taking the situation off campus. There is a definite double standard in our high school for intolerance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 just adding our sad experience... when my oldest was in 7th grade (6 years ago) she was assaulted with a chain that left welts on her shoulder for over a day. this happened on a church bus (I'm not going to share the story in this thread). I was told not to do anything. they didn't do anything either. thank God we were forced to move out of state due to job loss. my guess is that no one at the school will do anything about it. but I'm sad that this happened to your child. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Some of these stories are making me really glad I work in the school where I work. We may be average for academics, but it's nice being above average with our anti-bullying stance (or just pure socialization skills). This isn't to say nothing ever happens. Last Friday I had the privilege of escorting a young lady to our pep rally after she'd spent some time in detention for intentionally spilling a bottle of Gatorade on a young man. He was spurring her on. Both got in trouble about it and I really doubt we'll have the problem again. But I'll also add that our school has changed in that respect just in the past 15 years. What used to be tolerated as "kids will be kids" no longer is. Of course, back then if the shop teacher needed a pocketknife every single young lad would have offered theirs. Now they can't do that either. Some changes are good. Others go overboard. I think the anti-bullying change is one of the good ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbers6 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Sounds like you all did thd right thing. And I'm sorry. Horrible, horrible experiences! The next step is the leave the school. Write a letter explaining the situation and your decision and send it to the superintendent. If you want to take it further, speaking g at the next board meeting during open discussion may be worthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 um, if that was intentional, that's assault. This is an important lesson in dealing with harassment & wrongs. She needs to tell an administrator. If she won't, I'd suggest you do it. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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