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Does anyone else find Christmas stressful?


texasmama
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LOL! Well, you're doing better than me, because each year Christmas rolls around, I wish I could go to bed about a week before and not wake up until the New Year.

 

There's just so much lead-up to the holiday season. All the running around, the planning, the fretting over this and that, and by ten or eleven in the morning on Christmas day, I always feel like it's all over, and then the thought runs through my head, "why"?

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I enjoy all the holiday stuff -although I have tremendously cut back on my lavish (18+ types!!!) cookie baking as I just am not up for it - and just this morning realized that, hey, I do not have to make and deliver a dozen or more cookie plates (and folks never give me the large metal plates back, either) two days before Christmas! 

 

I am not allowed on step ladders, either, so did not hang the greenery and ornaments over the pocket doors between the living/dining rooms, or over the dining room window, either.  I said a couple times that if a teen wanted to do it....no one ever did, and NO ONE has said anything about the missing ornamentation!!!  So I can permanently stop doing that fiddly job, too!

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I always think I'm not going to get stressed, and then because of some stupidity on my part, I end up.

 

Like last night, shopping for an inexpensive gift for great-niece and nephew.  I normally don't buy gifts for them, but another niece has a one-year-old, and I bought him something.  Since they live in the same city (not local to me), I feel I have to do something for all the kids or none.  My idea isn't working out, despite going to 3 stores last night.  It would have easier and maybe cheaper in the long run to just get them Barnes and Noble gift cards.    (Though I think a gift card has to be $10 minimum and I wasn't planning to spend $20.) 

 

But that's my own fault.  If I had done this in November when I first thought of it, I would have been able to do it easily and wouldn't be under stress now.

 

So in my case anyway, the stress is self-inflicted.  I know that is not the case for everyone though!

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Yes. We alternate who we spend the holidays with. This year we will travel to stay with my in-laws who live 3 hours away. I LOVE my in-laws, but when we visit anywhere I have to constantly run interference for my son with autism. It is much harder when we stay overnight somewhere. I proposed to my dh we take 2 cars so he and my daughters can stay longer and I can return home with our son if, after two days, he is done. Having a contingency plan helps reduce my stress greatly.

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Umm ... yes.  For the last 3 years (and this year) we have planned international travel (and before that, out-of-town sleep-over guests) beginning right around Christmas day.  (This year we fly out on Christmas Eve.)  My job involves a lot of stuff that has to happen around the end of the year - if it is even 1 second after midnight 1-1-2015, I am in deep doo doo.  So I try to get as much as possible done before we leave.  And make sure the rest can be done remotely with iffy connectivity.  It's just awesome I tell ya.  Hard to concentrate on work when you have multiple Christmas parties to attend, gifts to figure out, special kids' activities to schedule, a multi-country trip to prepare for, ....

 

This year I have not yet brought up the Christmas books and decorations (though our tree is always up).  I think at this point it is not going to happen.  Forget baking Christmas cookies too.  And I am not sure how many gifts I will actually wrap. 

 

I am worried that I am forgetting important things.

 

Stressed?  Yeah, a little ....

 

ETA:  I'll just gratuitously add that I'm a creaky, old (48), single mother.

 

And my kids have had a test in every school subject this week.  2 tests in some of them.  Ugh.

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Oh my goodness, YES!  In my defense, I served many years in retail, so Christmas has pretty much been destroyed for me.  I don't take any particular joy in it for the most part.  

 

We do keep things mostly low-key.  I am grateful that DD's gym schedule has mandated that we spend Christmas at home (SO happy to no longer have to tote presents  up to MIL's, or make the girls wait to open presents, or trek over to BIL's right after present opening).  We cut back to 3 gifts each plus stockings last year and it's been a huge help.  I wish I'd done it earlier.  But for some reason I always misjudge things.  I either buy early and watch the price drop later, or I hold out and watch things get sold out completely.  :cursing:

 

But yes, I want to crawl in bed a few days before Thanksgiving and wake up mid-January.

 

BTW, Thanksgiving?  Huge fail this year at MIL's. Next year, we're staying home and having an ACTUAL Thanksgiving dinner, not ham, canned corn, and deviled eggs.

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LOL. Always!

 

Yesterday I taught four classes, DH had an out-of-state for a procedure, finished my last set of college grades, took a telephone conference call on my youngest's surgery, and prepped for today's class.  I went to bed at 1am and got up at 6:30 am.

 

Only about half the Christmas presents are wrapped, and I haven't mailed anything.

 

I have some time today and tomorrow morning, but my list is soooo long.  Off to drink some coffee and see if there are any scones left...

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My mother loves the Christmas crazy. I field ridiculous phone calls the (think 2x or more a day) from the week before Thanksgiving." I need a list, I don't understand this item. Calls from the store, what do you think about this, etc." I am currently at my personal breaking point and have imposed a 24 hour cool down before I return a call.

 

In my personal rebellion, I do not:

bake cookies

decorate the house (children may do so if they wish)

attend more than one party

give gifts to anyone outside family

 

But, I too, would like to go to a private island until January 2.

 

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I love doing Christmas, but my days are packed full BEFORE adding in the holiday stuff--decorating, buying presents, wrapping, Christmas pageant at church, etc. etc. So yeah, it's stressful. But we're almost done with the most stressful time and after school and other activities wrap up tomorrow, I can enjoy the rest of the season. I WANT to do the Christmas stuff--I just would like to be able to drop the homeschool, house cleaning, childcare, meal prep, etc. while I'm doing it!

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I wish the kids would let me get away with putting up a tree for five days and call it good. But no, they want all the trimmings, and a party, and special food...😉

 

What gets me most is that by November I am typically in great stride with our school year, then along come the holidays to send it all spiraling out of control. Then regroup time is dreary mid-winter, the season in which I have the utmost difficulty reengaging. It's quite bothersome.

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For me, it all starts in early October.  We have 3 October birthdays as well as Halloween.  Then we have an annual out-of-town gathering in early November and of course Thanksgiving and all the rest.

 

Or I could say it starts in August with one of our biggest work deadlines, the start of school, and the conference we put on out of town right after school starts.

 

Or I could say it starts in June with the other big work deadline, summer travels, and as many as 3 summer "camps" daily depending on the week.

 

Or ... I could say, I can't remember the last time I felt relaxed.

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PS: I should toss in that I get out of the decor/"special day" preparations part this year.

We're spending Christmas in a snazzy motel in FtCollins with DH (who works in the oil field).

Hurray for my teeny little desk size Christmas tree and dinner at Golden Corral. ;)

 

Then we'll do extended-family Christmas at my folks' over New Years. The only things truly weighing me down this year are gifts and stuff like Christmas programs, caroling, etc.

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Oh yes, I forgot all about those year-end parties and events.  Choir  dress rehearsal and concert, gym holiday party, state meet... Urgh, coach and teammate gifts... I just hope things will work out properly and Rebecca won't even be competing until January (if this is the case, she has advanced to an optional level).

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I want to hibernate from Thanksgiving to mid-March. 

I do like some parts of the season – the music, the lights, even the cookies.  I don’t mind the shopping for people close to me.  I do most of it online anyway.   Extra obligations provide some stress, but if the obligations are spread out, I can handle them.

 

The main source of my stress is MIL.  She is a master at guilt trips.  The past few years we travelled to my family for the holidays (in large part to avoid spending Christmas with MIL). This year we are staying home.  We will not visit her on Christmas Day. The Saturday or Sunday after Christmas maybe.  We are ruining her Christmas by refusing to play happy families.  

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I'm past the Christmas pageant, band recitals, and end of school stuff--at least until my granddaughter starts doing those things. Once you are done schooling and raising kiddoes, the load gets lighter.

Not a lot of family to deal with, either--I have none who gather for Christmas and dh's family does their celebrating right after Thanksgiving. Instead of stressed, I get depressed. It's not pretty.

 

For us, our greatest 'stress' is our annual Christmas party. It IS work--to clean, decorate, and prep food. But it takes the place of a family gathering for me in many ways--I'm always glad we did it once people start arriving. :) It was last Sunday--a lovely success. I've been eating party leftovers all week...and enjoying my clean and decorated home. :)

 

Many years ago I started making a list of things that made Christmas enjoyable or meaningful for me. The list isn't big (except for the party) Make Christmas cookies for us, look at Christmas lights, go to a local Christmas market. Watch White Christmas and a few other Christmasy movies. Stuff like that.

 

Making a list every year really helps me not stress or become depressed.

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I love the Christmas season (I get a break from schooling) but I was getting resentful of certain things. I took steps to change those things and now I'm much happier. Last year when I brought up these things I got all kinds of flack from my immediate and extended family. This year they are all onboard.

There is obviously some magic involved that some of us could benefit from! Any specific tips?

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I really would like real life to slow down in December so that we can do the fun Christmas-y stuff in a non-frenetic, non-fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, non-panicky way. Next year I think we are going to plan for no school in December by starting earlier in the year. And try to get Christmas shopping for extended family done before Thanksgiving. I find the shopping for those not living under our roof the most difficult and/or annoying and I would like to have it behind me when the concerts, activities, parties, projects, etc. start. There doesn't seem to be anyway to slow down the acceleration at work for DH (or my bookkeeping at church for that matter.) Why does everything pile on in December?

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I have spent years feeling stressed over Christmas.  NO MORE!!  This year, I am being intentional about what I will and won't do. 

 

Picking out the parts that are important to me, or super important to someone I love. 

 

No guilt!!  No Perfectionism!!

 

I am focusing on enjoying my family, my friends and remembering why we celebrate Christmas.

 

Anne

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I love the tree, the lights, the holiday aromas, the baking, wrapping gifts...for my little family.

 

What stresses me out is dealing with distant family and the social pressure to have the perfect friends-and-family filled holiday season.  I deactivated my FB account in order to avoid all of the pics and posts from holiday parties, shopping trips, etc.

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I want to hibernate from Thanksgiving to mid-March.

I do like some parts of the season – the music, the lights, even the cookies. I don’t mind the shopping for people close to me. I do most of it online anyway. Extra obligations provide some stress, but if the obligations are spread out, I can handle them.

 

The main source of my stress is MIL. She is a master at guilt trips. The past few years we travelled to my family for the holidays (in large part to avoid spending Christmas with MIL). This year we are staying home. We will not visit her on Christmas Day. The Saturday or Sunday after Christmas maybe. We are ruining her Christmas by refusing to play happy families.

Me too. My MIL is furious that we are going to spend Christmas with my family. She says she told us in January that we were to be with her this year. Nevermind that she doesn't get to dicate where we spend Christmas or the fact that we have been there on Christmas for the last 3 years. (It just works out that way because my family is so far away and airline tickets are even more expensive than usual in December.) Fortunately, I don't feel any guilt. I'm just annoyed. That annoyance may or may not show itself when we get together with them on Saturday.

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Me too. My MIL is furious that we are going to spend Christmas with my family. She says she told us in January that we were to be with her this year. Nevermind that she doesn't get to dicate where we spend Christmas or the fact that we have been there on Christmas for the last 3 years. (It just works out that way because my family is so far away and airline tickets are even more expensive than usual in December.) Fortunately, I don't feel any guilt. I'm just annoyed. That annoyance may or may not show itself when we get together with them on Saturday.

 

My fam is scandalized that I am flying out of the country on Christmas Eve.  Who does that!?!?  ME, that's who.  :P  Would y'all like to do Christmas before we leave or after we get back?

 

I told them before Thanksgiving so they could get all their frustrations out over the turkey and get over it and not let it ruin their Christmas.

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Yes.  I feel like I'm pretty busy with the day-to-day stuff of running our household and adding in "extras" is rough.  

 

I feel like I'm terrible at buying gifts and that everyone is always disappointed with what I get for them but would be even more disappointed with me if I didn't make the effort to get them something.

 

I'm overwhelmed by the mountain of gifts from grandparents, and I selfishly miss getting to buy presents for my kids.

 

I hate having to plan special meals to suit a vegan as well as someone who doesn't eat any beans, spices, or tofu.

 

It's dark and wet out, and I'd just like to hibernate. 

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Sadly, this seems to happen this time of year. I have to to make a very concerted effort of not taking on too much and carving out time to reflect on the holiday season. It does not just happen anymore. Everything was magical about Christmas when I was a kid, now everything seems to be one more commitment or disappointment...

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One thing that I did to help Christmas be a bit better started back in August. I intentionally did NOT sign my kids up for the homeschool handbell Choir because I knew Christmas would be awful. The church who sponsors it has a huge pageant where the handbell people perform. Huge pageants mean huge rehearsals. I knew with a couple of rehearsals and three nights of performance, I would be in a much more grinchy mood than I already am.

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Yes because we're going to my inlaws and there will be thousands of them there and they were pretty jerky to me last week. Dread is a word I don't use lightly, but... 

 

My "real" Christmas will be at my mom's house over New Years. No pressure on anybody to behave any particular way, and lots of slow time together. That's the way (uh-huh uh-huh) I like it. 

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Do you have a Tuesday Morning store? I have found some good deals there before. Once got ds a game for $5 that was like $14 on Amazon. Or maybe Big Lots? I noticed Steinmart has some toys. Pretty sure their Hello Kitty bingo set cost the same or less than what I had seen elsewhere and they had some Melissa and Doug products. Not sure of the ages of your relatives, though. Good luck!

 

Those are good ideas.  I loved Melissa and Doug when my kids were little!

 

But we found what we wanted at Pier One!  Our plan had been to fill some cute mugs with Christmas candies or something hot cocoa related - every year their mom sets up a hot cocoa bar of some sort for them (I've never seen it, just heard about it).  We found some cute candies but no mugs. No cute mugs!  At Pier One we found some plain white mugs with a rectangle of chalkboard on the side, along with a few sticks of chalk.  The kids (9 and 10) will enjoy those.   I will fill them with the candies and get them wrapped tonight for shipment tomorrow!  Score!  So happy. 

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Yes!  I love the tree, lights, music, seeing extended family, and watching my kids open presents.  I hate the costs, crowds, commercialism, and driving to see family in the SNOW! We've all been a bit humbug this year.  It is our second full winter back up here in the cold and none of us are taking the lack of sunshine well.  

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