I toured a preschool today, still conflicted

[Meadowlark]

Yes, I'm the one that started the mega thread awhile ago about potentially sending my kids to preschool. I toured today hoping it would make up my mind, but I'm agonizing all over again.

 

The tour was fine, except that I really didn't see the class or teacher in action. They scheduled me on " Polar Express Day" so the preschoolers were in the K room. Big bummer because interaction/tone is what I'm especially interested in. The rooms were okay and teachers seemed okay...but not especially warm and fuzzy. Then again, I didn't get a fair shot at seeing them actually teaching.

 

They use the Houghton Mifflin PreK curriculum, which I hear is fairly academic. This concerns me a bit as I would love to have a very creative/artsy curriculum, but realize In my state where PreK is free, they have to adhere to the standards of the state grant. Yes, that means common core aligned. I have no idea what that means for PreK though, or if that should concern me?

 

This would be 3 hours a day, 5 minutes from my house. There are equal pros and cons and for the life of me, I just can't decide. Yes, it would disrupt our day, but it's doable. This isn't really a "what should I do" post, but if anyone has experience with the HM curriculum, I wouldn't mind hearing some feedback. Maybe I just have a control issue and don't want to let them go...but then am I just being selfish? I feel like it's silly to be putting so much thought I to this...why can't I just make a decision???

[Arcadia]

My local PS used Houghton Mifflin but the teachers just used what they want from it.

 

Link is to the HM preK page for parents so you can see what is expected if teachers do everything.

http://www.eduplace.com/parents/prek/

[MistyMountain]

My local elementary schools uses Houghton Mifflin for language arts. I wasn't crazy about how they described what they did. I am not sure if it is implemented differently in different places though. I have no idea what they do for preschool just the elementary level.

[kiwik]

Two problems.

1/ knowing you were considering sending your child their the scheduled your visit on a day when you couldn't get the information you needed.

 

2/ they have the kind of curriculum that a company publishes (which is not really a curriculum just what is used to achieve the curriculum if you see what I mean). At pre school?

 

Insist on a second visit on a day the pre school is actually operational. I am by culture opposed to academics at preschool level but it does vary with where you live.

[Reefgazer]

I am extremely pro-preschool; it was the absolute best experience for both my kids.  But the bolded concerns me because preschools should be play based and not academic based.  The fact they think a HMH textbook-based curriculum is the best option for a bunch of 4 year olds is disturbing; it indicates the preschool is academic kindergarten-lite.  The best options for a bunch of 4 year olds is play centers, reading, learning to write their names, etc...  I don't think the scheduling is a big deal; they probably popped you into the schedule at a time that wasn't disruptive to the students, which to them is probably during a HMH textbook lesson (ugh).  Is this a public school pre-K? 

 

So while I am pro-preschool, I would run out of there in a heartbeat.  Find a nice low-key mom's morning out (the benefits of preschool aren't academic, but social) or other non-academic private half day program.  When you find the right place, you'll know it - you won't have the hesitation you have now.

Yes, I'm the one that started the mega thread awhile ago about potentially sending my kids to preschool. I toured today hoping it would make up my mind, but I'm agonizing all over again.

The tour was fine, except that I really didn't see the class or teacher in action. They scheduled me on " Polar Express Day" so the preschoolers were in the K room. Big bummer because interaction/tone is what I'm especially interested in. The rooms were okay and teachers seemed okay...but not especially warm and fuzzy. Then again, I didn't get a fair shot at seeing them actually teaching.

They use the Houghton Mifflin PreK curriculum, which I hear is fairly academic. This concerns me a bit as I would love to have a very creative/artsy curriculum, but realize In my state where PreK is free, they have to adhere to the standards of the state grant. Yes, that means common core aligned. I have no idea what that means for PreK though, or if that should concern me?

This would be 3 hours a day, 5 minutes from my house. There are equal pros and cons and for the life of me, I just can't decide. Yes, it would disrupt our day, but it's doable. This isn't really a "what should I do" post, but if anyone has experience with the HM curriculum, I wouldn't mind hearing some feedback. Maybe I just have a control issue and don't want to let them go...but then am I just being selfish? I feel like it's silly to be putting so much thought I to this...why can't I just make a decision???

 

[Meadowlark]

I am extremely pro-preschool; it was the absolute best experience for both my kids. But the bolded concerns me because preschools should be play based and not academic based. The fact they are even concerned about common core and think a HMH curriculum is the best option for a bunch of 4 year olds is disturbing; it indicates the preschool is academic kindergarten-lite. The best options for a bunch of 4 year olds is play centers, reading, learning to write their names, etc... I don't think the scheduling is a big deal; they probably popped you into the schedule at a time that wasn't disruptive to the students, which to them is probably during a HMH textbook lesson (ugh).

 

So while I am pro-preschool, I would run out of there in a heartbeat. Find a nice low-key mom's morning out (the benefits of preschool aren't academic, but social) or other non-academic half day program. When you find the right place, you'll know it - you won't have the hesitation you have now.

The problem is-this is our church preschool and the closest to our house. There is just one other preschool close to us, and it is Montessori based. Not sure how I feel about that exactly. I feel like, if it's not this, than nothing because I just can't travel 15-20 minutes in both directions. It wouldn't be worth it for me. I agree about play based being ideal, but the free 4 yr. old grant comes with strict conditions that must be met. There are a few preschools in town that don't adhere (and aren't free) but I can't afford them and they are far away. So I just need to decide I guess if I can live with this scenario, or not. Hmmm....

[Reefgazer]

Oh, I see the problem.  Ugh.  I'm surprised a church -based preschool plays ball that way.  But I guess it's about the money.  You could send your child and see how they like it and take your cue on what to do based on your child.  If you decide to go that way, I would ask for another tour though.  I think I might bag it, though.  But ask for anther tour and follow your gut feeling.  If you are squirrelly about it, I would pass.

The problem is-this is our church preschool and the closest to our house. There is just one other preschool close to us, and it is Montessori based. Not sure how I feel about that exactly. I feel like, if it's not this, than nothing because I just can't travel 15-20 minutes in both directions. It wouldn't be worth it for me. I agree about play based being ideal, but the free 4 yr. old grant comes with strict conditions that must be met. There are a few preschools in town that don't adhere (and aren't free) but I can't afford them and they are far away. So I just need to decide I guess if I can live with this scenario, or not. Hmmm....

 

[Kiara.I]

The problem is-this is our church preschool and the closest to our house. There is just one other preschool close to us, and it is Montessori based. Not sure how I feel about that exactly. I feel like, if it's not this, than nothing because I just can't travel 15-20 minutes in both directions. It wouldn't be worth it for me. I agree about play based being ideal, but the free 4 yr. old grant comes with strict conditions that must be met. There are a few preschools in town that don't adhere (and aren't free) but I can't afford them and they are far away. So I just need to decide I guess if I can live with this scenario, or not. Hmmm....

 

You dislike Montessori?

I only sent my kids to preschool FOR the Montessori, personally.  I figured if it was play-based, I could do that at home, no need to spend money for it or lock myself into a preschool schedule.  Your mileage may vary...  ;)

[LibraryLover]

Were there blocks in the classroom? Easels?  What did other materials look like? What was displayed on walls?  I'd want to see it in action as well. Call them back.

[katilac]

Personally, I found preschool for my youngest to be a pain in the butt when I had the oldest at home. She finished out her prek3 year, but didn't do prek4. It was 15 mins away, though, not 5 . . . although do remember it generally takes a bit longer to actually drop-off/pick-up, it's not like they let you drive up and toss the kids out of the car, lol. There's a tendency to talk to the other parents as well. 

 

Don't just consider the routine days - there will likely be special programs you will attend for holidays, field trips, volunteer requests, and so on. This averaged more than once a month at our preschool. It was great stuff, and lots of fun, but not a timesaver, y'know? 

 

I can't quite remember your reasons for considering it. Looks like you have a boatload of kids, so I'm guessing it's not for social reasons! I personally wouldn't do it in order to have more school time with the others, b/c they are extremely young also, and you'll still have the baby regardless. If more school time is a big incentive, why not consider lengthening your school year, and having very short days? 

[Meadowlark]

Personally, I found preschool for my youngest to be a pain in the butt when I had the oldest at home. She finished out her prek3 year, but didn't do prek4. It was 15 mins away, though, not 5 . . . although do remember it generally takes a bit longer to actually drop-off/pick-up, it's not like they let you drive up and toss the kids out of the car, lol. There's a tendency to talk to the other parents as well.

 

Don't just consider the routine days - there will likely be special programs you will attend for holidays, field trips, volunteer requests, and so on. This averaged more than once a month at our preschool. It was great stuff, and lots of fun, but not a timesaver, y'know?

 

I can't quite remember your reasons for considering it. Looks like you have a boatload of kids, so I'm guessing it's not for social reasons! I personally wouldn't do it in order to have more school time with the others, b/c they are extremely young also, and you'll still have the baby regardless. If more school time is a big incentive, why not consider lengthening your school year, and having very short days?

Reasons are just that my preschoolers are not getting what they need from me. I don't have the time or energy to get out paint, crafts, sensory bins, etc. They just get the short end of the stick and I think they'd have so much fun. There are equal amounts of pros and cons, I'm just going to have to make a gut decision I think.

 

The rooms looked typical for what I'd expect to see. There was a housekeeping center, Christmas tree/manger set up, paint easels, blocks, manipulatives, Legos, etc. I didn't see a lot of open ended art, but more project type things. Honestly though, they're not getting ANYthing at home so although it may not be ideal, it's at least something. I asked a ton of questions and was also shown a binder they do for each child which basically was a scrapbook of what they've done this year. It looked good-academic, but good.

 

So although the programming might not be 100% ideal, I'm trying to tell myself that 3 hours isn't a huge chunk of the day and if I can figure out the transportation, I may do it. My dad just told me he could take on Tues/Thur so that would help immensely. I'd be leaving the house 3 days a week instead of 5. Ah, decisions. Of course it's a rather popular place that will fill up in Jan., so I do have a to decide soon. I think I'll take another visit in Jan. and bring the kids along.

[Tsuga]

 

There is just one other preschool close to us, and it is Montessori based. Not sure how I feel about that exactly.

 

What would be the specific objections to Montessori? The philosophy of how children learn, or the school itself and its implementation of Montessori?

 

My kids didn't go to a Montessori school because that was not what we had available but there were a lot of Montessori principles integrated into their school. I believe Montessori is really great for children and I know many people who wouldn't have it any other way.

 

I really like the idea of children as explorers and drivers of their own development through hands-on experiences.

 

I don't mind HM as a textbook company but that seems very academic for pre-k.

[Pronghorn]

Another option would be to get a mother's helper come to your house and do some activities with your preschoolers. Maybe you could find a homeschooled middle or high school kid or kids.

[Meadowlark]

So...I'm familiar with Montessori but not sure how I feel about it. Being a former teacher myself, it's SOOO different from what I know, which doesn't make it wrong, but just unchartered territory. This school has 3,4 and 5 year olds in the same classroom. They participate in the state grant as well, but use Creative Curriculum with Montessori principles. I do have a bit of experience with this school as my older boys went there 1x/week about 3 years ago. I felt it was fine at the time, but he extreme opposite in that very little was structured. You know, I wanted circle time and cutesy art projects, and they came home with pin punched construction paper. They probably do Montessori well, but since I'm not trained in it, maybe I didn't appreciate it as much. Maybe someone out there can talk me into why Montessori would be better than the other church school with an academic focus?

[Meadowlark]

Another option would be to get a mother's helper come to your house and do some activities with your preschoolers. Maybe you could find a homeschooled middle or high school kid or kids.

Yes, I've thought about this but don't really know anybody. Plus, wouldn't I have to plan it then?

[Ellie]

Reasons are just that my preschoolers are not getting what they need from me. I don't have the time or energy to get out paint, crafts, sensory bins, etc. They just get the short end of the stick and I think they'd have so much fun. There are equal amounts of pros and cons, I'm just going to have to make a gut decision I think.

 

The rooms looked typical for what I'd expect to see. There was a housekeeping center, Christmas tree/manger set up, paint easels, blocks, manipulatives, Legos, etc. I didn't see a lot of open ended art, but more project type things. Honestly though, they're not getting ANYthing at home so although it may not be ideal, it's at least something. I asked a ton of questions and was also shown a binder they do for each child which basically was a scrapbook of what they've done this year. It looked good-academic, but good.

 

So although the programming might not be 100% ideal, I'm trying to tell myself that 3 hours isn't a huge chunk of the day and if I can figure out the transportation, I may do it. My dad just told me he could take on Tues/Thur so that would help immensely. I'd be leaving the house 3 days a week instead of 5. Ah, decisions. Of course it's a rather popular place that will fill up in Jan., so I do have a to decide soon. I think I'll take another visit in Jan. and bring the kids along.

 

If paint, crafts, sensory bins, and more are requisite for young children, then I failed at that, as well.

 

Housekeeping center? Don't you do any housekeeping that they could participate in?

 

Christmas tree/manger set-up...do you not have these in your home?

 

Legos? blocks? manipulatives? Um...

 

so far, you haven't listed anything that can't be happening in your own home, without any effort at all. Add to it the negatives of children having role models who are exactly the same maturity level as the are so they have no measure of how they might behave or what they might know or aspire to do or know, and I see major negatives in their being away from their own mother, who grew them in her own body and who loves them far, far more than the classroom teachers, not to mention being away from their own siblings, who should be developing relationships with them.

[Meadowlark]

If paint, crafts, sensory bins, and more are requisite for young children, then I failed at that, as well.

 

Housekeeping center? Don't you do any housekeeping that they could participate in?

 

Christmas tree/manger set-up...do you not have these in your home?

 

Legos? blocks? manipulatives? Um...

 

so far, you haven't listed anything that can't be happening in your own home, without any effort at all. Add to it the negatives of children having role models who are exactly the same maturity level as the are so they have no measure of how they might behave or what they might know or aspire to do or know, and I see major negatives in their being away from their own mother, who grew them in her own body and who loves them far, far more than the classroom teachers, not to mention being away from their own siblings, who should be developing relationships with them.

I know-this can be looked at two different ways. I see what you're saying, really. But-despite my very best intentions, I just haven't figured out how to give everybody what they need. I just think if they can be in a developmentally appropriate environment having fun, instead of home, where honestly I'm just trying to keep them out of my hair, would be far more beneficial. Yes, I'm aware of the negatives but no situation is going to be perfect. I really tried to do more with them this year, and have failed. It's honestly, the projects...messy art, seasonal projects, that I wish I had the energy to do with them but I just don't.

[Tsuga]

So...I'm familiar with Montessori but not sure how I feel about it. Being a former teacher myself, it's SOOO different from what I know, which doesn't make it wrong, but just unchartered territory. This school has 3,4 and 5 year olds in the same classroom. They participate in the state grant as well, but use Creative Curriculum with Montessori principles. I do have a bit of experience with this school as my older boys went there 1x/week about 3 years ago. I felt it was fine at the time, but he extreme opposite in that very little was structured. You know, I wanted circle time and cutesy art projects, and they came home with pin punched construction paper. They probably do Montessori well, but since I'm not trained in it, maybe I didn't appreciate it as much. Maybe someone out there can talk me into why Montessori would be better than the other church school with an academic focus?

 

Okay. So, I'm not going to talk you into pre-school overall. But in terms of Montessori vs. traditional school, I will give you some pros for Montessori:

 

1. The learning is tailored towards experiential learning. Hands-on manipulatives. Hearing, touching, feeling. This is much more age-appropriate for your kids' age than a booklet. They learn so much more and enjoy it more.

 

2. They take responsibility for their own learning and this responsibility is encouraged by the teacher.

 

3. Guided learning means that children can grow more at their own pace and that achievement is gauged not by meeting an arbitrary standard, but by building on past skills. I LOVE that part.

 

4. They do engage in crafts. :)

 

Some Montessori schools are more structured than others, though. The teacher needs to be highly skilled at facilitating movement through different areas of the classroom.

 

"Students work together as stewards of their environment. They take turns caring for classroom pets and plants; do their part to maintain order, such as by returning materials to the shelves after use; and help keep outdoor spaces groomed and litter-free."

 

This was pioneered by Maria Montessori. It's still not in all classrooms, but it came in part from her philosophy.

 

Four year olds are big toddlers. They need sensory input. Some of them, very few, like to draw and have the fine motor skills to achieve that. But many many more need to be working on gross motor skills and absorbing concepts through three-dimensional, hearing, touching, feeling, and moving sensory input and not by using two-dimensional representations.

 

My children benefited a lot from Montessori's influence on their schools, which were play-based with Montessori principles applied. One thing I can see about them versus kids who learned only in books is their ability to apply concepts. Both of them are also very physically adept, to the point that people notice those skills.

 

They never got frustrated with a pencil because they didn't have to pick one up until they were ready. Their motor skills were developed through joyful exploration with sand, water, beads, blocks, building... not frustrating outcome-based tasks.

 

That's why if I wanted pre-school, I'd opt for Montessori or play-based.

 

That said, I do NOT believe that Montessori is vs. academic. I believe it's more academic, but in an age-appropriate way.

 

Add to it the negatives of children having role models who are exactly the same maturity level as the are so they have no measure of how they might behave or what they might know or aspire to do or know

 

I don't understand this. My kids learn a lot from other children because they get to work out moral and social principles from a position of varying power. It's experiential learning versus learning from authority. Obviously the children need authority as well, but why not let them try it out a bit?

[Meadowlark]

Okay. So, I'm not going to talk you into pre-school overall. But in terms of Montessori vs. traditional school, I will give you some pros for Montessori:

 

1. The learning is tailored towards experiential learning. Hands-on manipulatives. Hearing, touching, feeling. This is much more age-appropriate for your kids' age than a booklet. They learn so much more and enjoy it more.

 

2. They take responsibility for their own learning and this responsibility is encouraged by the teacher.

 

3. Guided learning means that children can grow more at their own pace and that achievement is gauged not by meeting an arbitrary standard, but by building on past skills. I LOVE that part.

 

4. They do engage in crafts. :)

 

Some Montessori schools are more structured than others, though. The teacher needs to be highly skilled at facilitating movement through different areas of the classroom.

 

"Students work together as stewards of their environment. They take turns caring for classroom pets and plants; do their part to maintain order, such as by returning materials to the shelves after use; and help keep outdoor spaces groomed and litter-free."

 

This was pioneered by Maria Montessori. It's still not in all classrooms, but it came in part from her philosophy.

 

Four year olds are big toddlers. They need sensory input. Some of them, very few, like to draw and have the fine motor skills to achieve that. But many many more need to be working on gross motor skills and absorbing concepts through three-dimensional, hearing, touching, feeling, and moving sensory input and not by using two-dimensional representations.

 

My children benefited a lot from Montessori's influence on their schools, which were play-based with Montessori principles applied. One thing I can see about them versus kids who learned only in books is their ability to apply concepts. Both of them are also very physically adept, to the point that people notice those skills.

 

They never got frustrated with a pencil because they didn't have to pick one up until they were ready. Their motor skills were developed through joyful exploration with sand, water, beads, blocks, building... not frustrating outcome-based tasks.

 

That's why if I wanted pre-school, I'd opt for Montessori or play-based.

 

That said, I do NOT believe that Montessori is vs. academic. I believe it's more academic, but in an age-appropriate way.

 

 

I don't understand this. My kids learn a lot from other children because they get to work out moral and social principles from a position of varying power. It's experiential learning versus learning from authority. Obviously the children need authority as well, but why not let them try it out a bit?

Thanks SO much for this! I'm going to piggyback on this discussion and start a thread about. Montessori vs. traditional...now I'm intrigued!

[Pronghorn]

With the mother's helper you would not necessarily have to do a bunch of planning. Just have the materials available and perhaps a list of acceptable activities. Assume some creativity on the part of the mother's helper. Assume also that the children could learn by making choices of what they want to do.

[Ellie]

I know-this can be looked at two different ways. I see what you're saying, really. But-despite my very best intentions, I just haven't figured out how to give everybody what they need. I just think if they can be in a developmentally appropriate environment having fun, instead of home, where honestly I'm just trying to keep them out of my hair, would be far more beneficial. Yes, I'm aware of the negatives but no situation is going to be perfect. I really tried to do more with them this year, and have failed. It's honestly, the projects...messy art, seasonal projects, that I wish I had the energy to do with them but I just don't.

 

No one needs messy art and seasonal projects. Preschools do them to try to make up for what the children are missing out on because they are not at home with their parents (and siblings).

 

Three hours a day, five days a week (or even three days a week) is a very, very long time for impressionable young children to be parented by people (not only the teachers but also the multitude of other young children--never underestimate the impact those other children will have on yours--and yours on them) other than their own parents.

[AHASRADA]

With the mother's helper you would not necessarily have to do a bunch of planning. Just have the materials available and perhaps a list of acceptable activities. Assume some creativity on the part of the mother's helper. Assume also that the children could learn by making choices of what they want to do.

My dd14 does all of the messy, art type projects with dd4. I gave her lists and books of preschool activities, sometimes she uses them, other times she makes up her own projects. A mother's helper age 12+ should be able to handle this with a little initial guidance.

[Orthodox6]

Our two eldest went through a Montessori school and kindergarten before starting homeschool. It was an outstanding experience!

 

The catch is knowing enough about Montessori education and about the two major versions that you can determine whether a particular program is real or whether the program labels itself "Montessori" but is not. Each of the two legitimate groups has websites and information on the Internet.

[Mom22ns]

I don't see the problem. You have the opportunity to sign up for a free preschool that is 5 minutes away and seems like it might be a decent fit for your 4 & 3 yr olds? Right now, you feel like you can't keep up and they are getting the short end of the stick. It sounds like an option worth considering. If you sign up, is there something that prevents you from changing your mind later? 

 

I say, don't stress over it now. Put your name on the list. If you decide it isn't for you either before school starts, after the first day or the first week or the first month, you don't send them any more. They won't send the truancy police after your preschoolers if you withdraw right? I'm sure they have a waiting list and if you decide you don't want the spots, some other family is thrilled. Sign up while you can, decide when you really have to - the night before school starts  :D .

[Meadowlark]

I don't see the problem. You have the opportunity to sign up for a free preschool that is 5 minutes away and seems like it might be a decent fit for your 4 & 3 yr olds? Right now, you feel like you can't keep up and they are getting the short end of the stick. It sounds like an option worth considering. If you sign up, is there something that prevents you from changing your mind later?

 

I say, don't stress over it now. Put your name on the list. If you decide it isn't for you either before school starts, after the first day or the first week or the first month, you don't send them any more. They won't send the truancy police after your preschoolers if you withdraw right? I'm sure they have a waiting list and if you decide you don't want the spots, some other family is thrilled. Sign up while you can, decide when you really have to - the night before school starts :D .

Great advice :-) I think I will sign them up somewhere-now I'm just conflicted about the traditional (academic) school vs. the Montessori school (see other thread). I'm a "stressor" by nature. No decisions are ever easy for me.

[Reefgazer]

Absolutely the most inane comment I've seen about preschools in a long time.  Preschools do it because the kids enjoy doing that stuff with a group of friends. 

 

OP, 3 hours a day isn't being "parented" by anyone.  The kids are being exposed to others, and most of them enjoy it very much and grow up perfectly fine.  I am grateful for how my kids' preschool helped to mold them into the wonderful little beings they are today; their peers and teachers were wonderful contributors to their growth and development, even if they weren't their "parent".

No one needs messy art and seasonal projects. Preschools do them to try to make up for what the children are missing out on because they are not at home with their parents (and siblings).

 

Three hours a day, five days a week (or even three days a week) is a very, very long time for impressionable young children to be parented by people (not only the teachers but also the multitude of other young children--never underestimate the impact those other children will have on yours--and yours on them) other than their own parents.

 

[SeaConquest]

Absolutely the most inane comment I've seen about preschools in a long time. Preschools do it because the kids enjoy doing that stuff with a group of friends.

 

OP, 3 hours a day isn't being "parented" by anyone. The kids are being exposed to others, and most of them enjoy it very much and grow up perfectly fine. I am grateful for how my kids' preschool helped to mold them into the wonderful little beings they are today; their peers and teachers were wonderful contributors to their growth and development, even if they weren't their "parent".

Exactly. Enough with the mommy guilt already! OP, don't let people shame you into making a decision that isn't in the best interests of *your* family. It's super cool that people on this board are able to school multiple kids with toddlers running amok, but I'm certainly not one of them. My husband (who is self-employed and has a flexible schedule) watches my 16 month old the three mornings per week that I school my accelerated 5 year old (who works about 2-3 hours per day). Next year, I plan to put my youngest son in preschool two mornings per week to give him more time with other kids and my husband more time at work. And I don't feel one iota of guilt about it. My oldest thrived in preschool from age 2-4, and his younger brother is just as social.

[Ellie]

Absolutely the most inane comment I've seen about preschools in a long time.  Preschools do it because the kids enjoy doing that stuff with a group of friends. 

 

OP, 3 hours a day isn't being "parented" by anyone.  The kids are being exposed to others, and most of them enjoy it very much and grow up perfectly fine.  I am grateful for how my kids' preschool helped to mold them into the wonderful little beings they are today; their peers and teachers were wonderful contributors to their growth and development, even if they weren't their "parent".

 

We're all entitled to our opinions, yes?

 

If the OP had not been so conflicted, I would have kept this to myself. But she's conflicted, and so I gave the other side.

 

Preschools don't do these things just because the children enjoy them. They do things like this because the children are away from their homes and they have to do something to try to make up for the things their own mothers are not doing with them.  And yes, three hours a day, five days a week, is absolutely enough time to be parented by others. That children who spend that many hours a week (and sometimes more) grow up "perfectly fine" does not mean it's the best place for them to be.

[SeaConquest]

Stop. Just stop. Seriously, Ellie.

[kiwik]

I think Montessori is too rigid about imaginative play but I would go with Montessori over a preschool that thinks kids should have an academic curriculum. But you have to see them in operation. It is one thing to look at a text and teach shapes using tangrams or whatever but another thing to look at the text and hand out a worksheet. It is also OK to have some basic tracing sheets along with art and craft supplies but not to sit all the kids down and insist they complete them.

 

You need to know whethef the curriculum is to keep the funding people happy or they actually think little kids need academics. You also need to be sure the staff are properly trained and know what is an appropriate developmental expectation. I heard someone scold a 2 year old once for 'not even trying' with her coloring in.

[Meadowlark]

I think Montessori is too rigid about imaginative play but I would go with Montessori over a preschool that thinks kids should have an academic curriculum. But you have to see them in operation. It is one thing to look at a text and teach shapes using tangrams or whatever but another thing to look at the text and hand out a worksheet. It is also OK to have some basic tracing sheets along with art and craft supplies but not to sit all the kids down and insist they complete them.

 

You need to know whethef the curriculum is to keep the funding people happy or they actually think little kids need academics. You also need to be sure the staff are properly trained and know what is an appropriate developmental expectation. I heard someone scold a 2 year old once for 'not even trying' with her coloring in.

Funny, I asked someone with a child in the traditional preschool today about worksheets. The answer was a definite no. She said they cover academics such as numbers, letters etc., but in fun ways. For example, for Mm, they paint Mm's with marshmallows. Or for Tt, they might build a teepee with toothpicks. you get the idea. The schedule is structured something like this:

 

8:15-arrival

8:15-8:30-circle time (.Houghton Mifflin instruction I'd bet)

8:30-8:50-religion

8:50-9:15-bathroom and snack

8:15-9:30-story

9:30-10:00-outside time or gym

10:00-11:15-centers (which includes rotating fixed centers and table activities like toothpick teepees)

 

That's not it exactly., but the jist of it. So, although they do use HM, common core stuff, it doesn't seem like a whole lot of sitting and teacher direct instruction to me, or at least not an inappropriate amount. When you look at outside time, bathroom, snack and centers-that's really the majority of the 3 hours. They also go to the school library for 20 minutes once a week. (actually who is my neighbor and amazingly wonderful) and also music 20 min. A week. I wouldn't get any of that with the Montessori School, although the calm nature and student directed learning is very appealing to me.

[Kiara.I]

To me, that looks like 35 straight minutes of sitting, then another 15 minutes of sitting for snack, then another 15 minutes of sitting for story.  That seems like a LOT of sitting!  ;)

 

I wouldn't put a ton of stock in library time for 3 and 4 year olds in a school setting.  They might not get that at the Montessori school, but what exactly is it they're getting?  Anyway, if it's something that really appeals to you, keep it in mind on the pros/cons sheet.

[Guest hmaredemei]

My local elementary schools uses Houghton Mifflin for language arts. 

[wintermom]

Maybe I just have a control issue and don't want to let them go...but then am I just being selfish? I feel like it's silly to be putting so much thought I to this...why can't I just make a decision???

 

I don't think you're being selfish, and wanting to maintain control over your young children is a good thing, I think.

 

What are the reasons you want to send your child(ren) to pre-school? Perhaps if you are very clear about the things you want it would help you make a decision.

 

For me, I'd ask myself what would my child be getting outside the home that I think they need at this point.  In truth, I don't think there is anything a pre-schooler needs from an outside-the-home setting that he can't get at home with a loving family.

 

I've got 4 children almost as tightly spaced in age as yours, and I contemplated sending him to 4 year-old pre-school so that he could do things with children his age at his level. I thought it might be easier on me, too, to have one less child in the mix. I ended up keeping him at home. He was so happy to blend in with the other dc at home, and have some of his own read-aloud books, drawing materials, and workbooks. When he was ready and asking for it, I did phonics games and reading activities with him.  I've never regretted this decision. 

[Meadowlark]

I don't think you're being selfish, and wanting to maintain control over your young children is a good thing, I think.

 

What are the reasons you want to send your child(ren) to pre-school? Perhaps if you are very clear about the things you want it would help you make a decision.

 

For me, I'd ask myself what would my child be getting outside the home that I think they need at this point. In truth, I don't think there is anything a pre-schooler needs from an outside-the-home setting that he can't get at home with a loving family.

 

 

 

I've got 4 children almost as tightly spaced in age as yours, and I contemplated sending him to 4 year-old pre-school so that he could do things with children his age at his level. I thought it might be easier on me, too, to have one less child in the mix. I ended up keeping him at home. He was so happy to blend in with the other dc at home, and have some of his own read-aloud books, drawing materials, and workbooks. When he was ready and asking for it, I did phonics games and reading activities with him. I've never regretted this decision.

Maybe just so they have their own thing. Time for them to have fun, be kids. Right now, our mornings are spent doing the 3 R's...intensive reading and math instruction, AAS, etc. My preschoolers can sit with us and do workbooks, playdoh or whatever, but I feel like I'm pulled in 5 different directions (while the 1 yr. old plays in the toilet and sucks toothpaste) and I'm constantly feeling like they are getting the short end. I just thought if they could have a few hours to have their own thing, they'd be so tickled...and I could just get those intensive subjects done with the olders, and then give them some loving and cuddling when they get home. We'd all be refreshed? This homeschooling this is just SO hard, and I need to alleviate some of the pressure. I feel like I have a small window do opportunity here-and the Montessori program is 2 minutes away instead of 5, and I'd hate to regret not giving them what could be really amazing for them.

[Mom22ns]

Maybe just so they have their own thing. Time for them to have fun, be kids. Right now, our mornings are spent doing the 3 R's...intensive reading and math instruction, AAS, etc. My preschoolers can sit with us and do workbooks, playdoh or whatever, but I feel like I'm pulled in 5 different directions (while the 1 yr. old plays in the toilet and sucks toothpaste) and I'm constantly feeling like they are getting the short end. I just thought if they could have a few hours to have their own thing, they'd be so tickled...and I could just get those intensive subjects done with the olders, and then give them some loving and cuddling when they get home. We'd all be refreshed? This homeschooling this is just SO hard, and I need to alleviate some of the pressure. I feel like I have a small window do opportunity here-and the Montessori program is 2 minutes away instead of 5, and I'd hate to regret not giving them what could be really amazing for them.

 

If this is your life right now, preschool sounds like a wonderful option. Pick the one that fits your family the best. Go back and see what the traditional preschool is really like and visit the Montessori too. See which one works for you and sign up. Feel no guilt. Your kids will probably love it! You will be able to get school done! If it doesn't work out that way, stop. There is no losing here. You are not taking time that was devoted to those kids and sending them away. You are taking time you need to devote to your olders, giving it to them and then being able to give more focus to the youngers when they get home. Everyone wins - at least potentially.

 

If it doesn't turn into a win, stop. It isn't a lifetime commitment and you are not a bad mom for trying it. You are a good mom for looking at what you are doing and saying it isn't the best, maybe we can do better and being willing to try. 

[Meadowlark]

If this is your life right now, preschool sounds like a wonderful option. Pick the one that fits your family the best. Go back and see what the traditional preschool is really like and visit the Montessori too. See which one works for you and sign up. Feel no guilt. Your kids will probably love it! You will be able to get school done! If it doesn't work out that way, stop. There is no losing here. You are not taking time that was devoted to those kids and sending them away. You are taking time you need to devote to your olders, giving it to them and then being able to give more focus to the youngers when they get home. Everyone wins - at least potentially.

 

If it doesn't turn into a win, stop. It isn't a lifetime commitment and you are not a bad mom for trying it. You are a good mom for looking at what you are doing and saying it isn't the best, maybe we can do better and being willing to try.

Thanks so much for this supportive and caring comment! I think I will do it!

[cindydanleo]

Maybe you will do what I did. Agonize over the decision. Finally enrolled my son in the preschool of my choice and then pulled him out a week later. :)

[WestHoustonMom]

Funny, I asked someone with a child in the traditional preschool today about worksheets. The answer was a definite no. She said they cover academics such as numbers, letters etc., but in fun ways. For example, for Mm, they paint Mm's with marshmallows. Or for Tt, they might build a teepee with toothpicks. you get the idea. The schedule is structured something like this:

 

8:15-arrival

8:15-8:30-circle time (.Houghton Mifflin instruction I'd bet)

8:30-8:50-religion

8:50-9:15-bathroom and snack

8:15-9:30-story

9:30-10:00-outside time or gym

10:00-11:15-centers (which includes rotating fixed centers and table activities like toothpick teepees)

 

That's not it exactly., but the jist of it. So, although they do use HM, common core stuff, it doesn't seem like a whole lot of sitting and teacher direct instruction to me, or at least not an inappropriate amount. When you look at outside time, bathroom, snack and centers-that's really the majority of the 3 hours. They also go to the school library for 20 minutes once a week. (actually who is my neighbor and amazingly wonderful) and also music 20 min. A week. I wouldn't get any of that with the Montessori School, although the calm nature and student directed learning is very appealing to me.

This is the schedule at my son's Montessori school for the Primary class (3 through end of K).

 

8:00-9:00 Arrivals-outside play unless it is raining

9:00-9:20 Circle time, calendar, group lesson

9:20-11:00 Montessori work time

11:00-12:00 Outside play

12:00-12:30 Lunch

12:30-1:00 Clean up-rest time

1:00-3:00 Montessori work or nap for under 4s

 

They have a music teacher come in on Tuesdays and a gymnastics teacher on Wednesdays, but it's not actually printed on their schedule. Montessori work is chosen by each child based on their interests and can be worked on anywhere in the room as long as the child is not disturbing others. This is what I love about this program for my son. He is very strong-willed and will only work on what he wants to work on. Plus, he doesn't have to sit perfectly still. The age grouping is great too because the older kids in the room help guide the younger kids which reinforces their learning.

 

If I were you, I'd really take a good look at your Montessori school and see what they offer. You might be pleasantly surprised. I know that to an adult the Montessori work doesn't look like work that will accomplish any academic goals, but my son knew all his letter sounds and could count to 20 in English and Spanish by the time he turned 3 in the toddler class. Now he can count to 200 without any assistance and counts by 5s and 10s and he's a young 4.

[Orthodox6]

My youngest was the only of our four to attend a pre-school.  It was a private, church-run program not far from our home.  In no sense was it "alternative parenting".  (Bleech at such a crass proposal!)  Our daughter enjoyed herself tremendously, and still speaks about her two years in the program.  (She has been homeschooled for K-through current high school level.)  In one very practical sense, it was God's providence that she was attending pre-school during the year that I had a serious accident, followed by two weeks in a rehab hospital, then followed by my physical inability to go up/down the stairs in my own home for 1-1/2 years.    

[kiwik]

Just do it. Can you all walk to the closer option? I think there is too much sitting and listening but they may have no problem (especially if the walk there). If you think it is not working pull them out again I don't think they will be permanently damaged.

 

For comparison my kids had.

arrival 7.45 to 9 for most. Free play (inside in winter), until about 9.45. 10 mins mat time, snack, free play until lunch, 10 minute mat time, lunch, free play until afternoon tea, 10 minute mat time, snack.

 

The mat times were songs and stories while the other staff cleaned the tables of play dough and art materials so they could eat lunch.

[Reefgazer]

Opinions, yes.  But you made a blanket statement about "preschools" in general.  I'm not sure how you even know what going to a preschool entails, because it seems your children have not been in one, correct?  But in the unlikely event they have and I'm mistaken about that, you have to accept that the preschool might not have been suitable for your child or your family.  A small, private preschool that is well-suited to the children who are enrolled there is a societal gem and offers the enrolled children a lot.  OP needs to take that into account.  Maybe her kid will like the workbooky style of HMH, who knows? 

 

Kids certainly do enjoy doing the things they do at preschool.  DD went three days/week, 3 hours a day from early childhood because they offered her things I would not (I could, but would not).  The real thing in my household instead of a "housekeeping station" in preschool?  No, my kid isn't going to be allowed to splash around with Lysol and a used mop.  Not even with plain water; I don't want the mess and the preschool was willing to deal with a toy mop and water.  Real baking as opposed to a "cooking center" in preschool?  No, my kid isn't grinding cookies into the rug and messing the kitchen floor with food at three.  I don't have time to clean up that mess on a daily basis.  But the preschool was willing to take the kids downstairs to their kitchen to do that.  Good for them, 'cause it wasn't happening here.  This mom wasn't doing that with her kids, but she made she her kids were able to do it.  DD made friends that she keeps and socializes with to this day; nice all around for her.  The seasonal crafts they made (ornaments, little Easter decorations) still decorate our house to this day and bring me a smile every time I look at them.  But I guarantee they wouldn't be getting done if it had been left to me; I am not interested in making seasonal crafts, so I outsourced and it turned out awesome. 

 

My kids grew up more than "perfectly fine", they grew up to be intelligent, personable, polite, and generally awesome kids, and I am more than happy to share the credit for that with their preschool from their formative years.

We're all entitled to our opinions, yes?

 

If the OP had not been so conflicted, I would have kept this to myself. But she's conflicted, and so I gave the other side.

 

Preschools don't do these things just because the children enjoy them. They do things like this because the children are away from their homes and they have to do something to try to make up for the things their own mothers are not doing with them.  And yes, three hours a day, five days a week, is absolutely enough time to be parented by others. That children who spend that many hours a week (and sometimes more) grow up "perfectly fine" does not mean it's the best place for them to be.

 

[Meadowlark]

Just do it. Can you all walk to the closer option? I think there is too much sitting and listening but they may have no problem (especially if the walk there). If you think it is not working pull them out again I don't think they will be permanently damaged.

 

For comparison my kids had.

arrival 7.45 to 9 for most. Free play (inside in winter), until about 9.45. 10 mins mat time, snack, free play until lunch, 10 minute mat time, lunch, free play until afternoon tea, 10 minute mat time, snack.

 

The mat times were songs and stories while the other staff cleaned the tables of play dough and art materials so they could eat lunch.

No, main road so can't walk but still just a 2 minute drive. I really think I could be there and back within 10-12 minutes. I couldn't be luckier in that regard because other than a main Montessori House (very expensive), this is the only other Montessori Preschool in my city. I just emailed the director with a request for more information on teacher training, schedule, and some of the other things mentioned up thread. I can't wait to hear back.

[Reefgazer]

This is reason enough to put your kids in preschool; to maintain your sanity and calmness.  Your needs are just as important as the rest of the family, and if this is what you need and feel would be a benefit to all of you, don't feel guilty about it.  I do think it's best if the preschool is well-matched to your child's interests and personality, but there are a lot of ways to skin that cat and your kid will let you know soon enough if she is happy or unhappy.  So although I personally would be wary of curriculum of any type for 4 year olds, it may suit your needs and if that is the choice you have, then look at the overall picture to decide what will be best for your family as a whole (including you). 

 

Do you have to sign a contract for a full year or are you responsible for payment for a full year if you sign on?  If not and you can withdraw your child if it doesn't work, you really have nothing to lose because you can withdraw them without financial penalty.  And they'll be more than OK even in that circumstance.  The preschool where my kids attended required a contract, but if the place wasn't working out for a child, they would discuss it with the parents and let them out of the contract (this happened with a few kids).

Maybe just so they have their own thing. Time for them to have fun, be kids. Right now, our mornings are spent doing the 3 R's...intensive reading and math instruction, AAS, etc. My preschoolers can sit with us and do workbooks, playdoh or whatever, but I feel like I'm pulled in 5 different directions (while the 1 yr. old plays in the toilet and sucks toothpaste) and I'm constantly feeling like they are getting the short end. I just thought if they could have a few hours to have their own thing, they'd be so tickled...and I could just get those intensive subjects done with the olders, and then give them some loving and cuddling when they get home. We'd all be refreshed? This homeschooling this is just SO hard, and I need to alleviate some of the pressure. I feel like I have a small window do opportunity here-and the Montessori program is 2 minutes away instead of 5, and I'd hate to regret not giving them what could be really amazing for them.

 

[Reefgazer]

And that would be OK, too, if the situation wasn't working for OP's child.

Maybe you will do what I did. Agonize over the decision. Finally enrolled my son in the preschool of my choice and then pulled him out a week later. :)

 

[Tsuga]

 

 In truth, I don't think there is anything a pre-schooler needs from an outside-the-home setting that he can't get at home with a loving family.

 

Honestly, this depends on the kid. I don't know that I needed school at that age.

 

My own kids needed other adults and other kids. I can't describe it. They thrived on that input, on that variation, the other kids. They needed that. I mean, maybe I just suck and if I were more extroverted, more patient, more energetic, more consistent, they would be fine.

 

You really can't say what every family needs or what every kid needs.

[Meadowlark]

Honestly, this depends on the kid. I don't know that I needed school at that age.

 

My own kids needed other adults and other kids. I can't describe it. They thrived on that input, on that variation, the other kids. They needed that. I mean, maybe I just suck and if I were more extroverted, more patient, more energetic, more consistent, they would be fine.

 

You really can't say what every family needs or what every kid needs.

Yeah-and it varies with timing too. When my older two were these ages, there was no need for preschool. I made homemade playdoh monthly according to themes, I had sensory bins of beans and rice and macaroni, I spent hours and hours making and laminating games. I was basically doing preschool at home and doing it well. That was 3 kids and a whole lot of patience ago, lol! I cannot provide that for my younger kids. I.just.cannot.

[zarabellesmom]

So...I'm familiar with Montessori but not sure how I feel about it. Being a former teacher myself, it's SOOO different from what I know, which doesn't make it wrong, but just unchartered territory. This school has 3,4 and 5 year olds in the same classroom. They participate in the state grant as well, but use Creative Curriculum with Montessori principles. I do have a bit of experience with this school as my older boys went there 1x/week about 3 years ago. I felt it was fine at the time, but he extreme opposite in that very little was structured. You know, I wanted circle time and cutesy art projects, and they came home with pin punched construction paper. They probably do Montessori well, but since I'm not trained in it, maybe I didn't appreciate it as much. Maybe someone out there can talk me into why Montessori would be better than the other church school with an academic focus?

LOL, that pin punching is fantastic for teaching proper pencil grip.  :)

[boscopup]

Yeah-and it varies with timing too. When my older two were these ages, there was no need for preschool. I made homemade playdoh monthly according to themes, I had sensory bins of beans and rice and macaroni, I spent hours and hours making and laminating games. I was basically doing preschool at home and doing it well. That was 3 kids and a whole lot of patience ago, lol! I cannot provide that for my younger kids. I.just.cannot.

I think Ellie's point was that kids don't have to have all that stuff. I didn't do any of that with my kids. They're all fine. You don't need to feel guilty that you're not providing all the latest Pinterest activities to your little ones.

 

There's nothing wrong with sending your kids to preschool. I just think it doesn't need to be this agonizing a deal or done out of a feeling of guilt.

[Tsuga]

 

I think Ellie's point was that kids don't have to have all that stuff. I didn't do any of that with my kids.

 

That is a nice interpretation.

 

My sense was that she was saying that preschool is a poor substitute for parenting, whereas in our case it was something entirely different. It was all about the social aspect--not socialization, but social interaction, the whole thing of "I need to see 15 different faces and try this out on at least 20 adults before I start to believe it's a general rule".

 

Boscopup congratulations on your GIRL. I have girls. They are hilarious, crazy, active, physical, creative and fun. I've never gotten the hang of how to get bicycle grease out of white summer dress hems, but if I figure it out, I'll let you know.