AimeeM Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I'm scattered, so I'm sorry if I'm random. We are about 18 hours away from him. We were going to leave this weekend to visit him for the holidays, as we always do. This morning as he was walking back from his music shoppe, the lawyer in the office next to him saw him give way, and called the ambulance (he also happens to be FIL's lawyer). He's staying with him while he's in the ER. It looks like pneumonia. Not good for an 83 year old man in already frail health (well, lately, I mean - he hasn't been feeling well for a while now). DH is in a meeting. He called me. He's putting on a good front, but he's beside himself. He adores his father (we all do). He talks to his dad daily over the phone, weekly with the kids via skype. Major problem. We're sick. Me and at least one of the kids (the other two kids aren't feeling well either). It is likely that we won't be able to make it for Christmas. Even if we were starting to feel better, there is no way we could be sure that we'd be well enough to NOT be contagious to FIL. If something happens to him, and DH isn't there, he'll never forgive himself. If he takes something TO fil, he'll never forgive himself. There is no freakin' "win" here. My FIL is terrified. He hasn't left his house (his music shoppe is across the street) in many, many years. Even his doctor comes to him, to his house. Now he's at the hospital, sick, scared, and we aren't there with him. I had to make a couple calls. DH asked me to call his uncle (who doesn't speak much english) because he lives close to FIL. I felt bad, but when I hung up with his uncle I laughed. It is a running joke between myself and my darling FIL that I can't understand this particular uncle. FIL would have had quite the hoot over our phone conversation a minute ago: Me: "Uncle Frank?" Him: "This Frank" Me: "This is Aimee; Tony's wife" Him: "Tony wife?" Him: "Big Tony? Little Tony?" (FIL's name is Anthony too) Me: "Little Tony" (DH isn't small by any means) Him: "Little Tony wife" Me: "Yes! Big Tony is in the hospital" Him: "Big Tony? Little Tony?" Me: "Big Tony, Uncle Frank! He's at ***** General" Him: "Big Tony in-a hospital" Me: "Yes! Little Tony wants you to check on him" Him: "Me-a chick on Big Tony, k?" Me: "Yes, yes - thank you!" If you're the praying sort... please. He's a wonderful man. The most generous, kind, faithful man I've ever known. Sometimes... sometimes I wish that he were my father. He never runs out of hugs, or kind words; he reminds the children to be respectful of my time and to be grateful for all they have. Even in his neighborhood (used to be a "little Italy", but is now filled to bust with gangs and... not nice people), he is loved and watched over. If someone needs something, anything, he's there. He's been giving music lessons (regardless of ability to pay, in many cases) for over 60 years, in that same little neighborhood. I just want to see him. I wish I could tap my heels and just be there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 {{{Aimee}}}} So sorry for this big disappointment - especially at Christmas time. Your F-I-L sounds like a wonderful man. I will pray for his peace and health. Hugs to all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 :grouphug: praying for Big Tony! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I'm so sorry, Aimee!!! Praying for you & your family ~ Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Praying for Tony! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Thoughts are with you and your family, Aimee. Can DH fly there after work to be with FIL, and hopefully, you will all be well enough to travel by Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Thoughts are with you and your family, Aimee. Can DH fly there after work to be with FIL, and hopefully, you will all be well enough to travel by Christmas. I don't know. Right now we're weighing the risk. Tony's tired, and not sure if he's getting sick too - if he is, there is no way he should be near his dad right now... but if he isn't there, and something happens... Well, we don't know. After work isn't a big deal - they would have no problem with him leaving now, given the circumstances, we are waiting to hear more from the doctors. I just talked to my FIL. He sounds strong enough to be spitting mad. Apparently the paramedics promised him he'd go in, see a doctor, and be able to leave. I'm glad his lawyer/friend is there - otherwise I'm afraid Dad may have left AMA when he was told he had to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Praying! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Praying... can you dh go without you - at least for a long weekend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I don't know. Right now we're weighing the risk. Tony's tired, and not sure if he's getting sick too - if he is, there is no way he should be near his dad right now... but if he isn't there, and something happens... Well, we don't know. After work isn't a big deal - they would have no problem with him leaving now, given the circumstances, we are waiting to hear more from the doctors. I just talked to my FIL. He sounds strong enough to be spitting mad. Apparently the paramedics promised him he'd go in, see a doctor, and be able to leave. I'm glad his lawyer/friend is there - otherwise I'm afraid Dad may have left AMA when he was told he had to stay. sorry - should have read all the messages before posting. If he suspects he's getting sick fill him up with Airborne or Emergen C. Also add some Elderberry syrup or the pill kind if you can find them. Airborne is sold in almost all the grocery and drug stores here locally. Seriously, it may just help keep the illness at bay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Praying here, Aimee! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chicagoshannon Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Have your DH wear a mask and wash hands well. That should keep the germs away from your FIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 We will pray, Aimee. Thank you for sharing FIL's story - it is so encouraging to hear about a long life of kindness and faithfulness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Have your DH wear a mask and wash hands well. That should keep the germs away from your FIL. That's what we're hoping the doctor will say, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 :grouphug: Hopefully the fact that he is "spitting mad" is a good sign. I offer my prayers for a full recovery AND that you can get there to be with him - meaning y'all recover too, of course! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 :grouphug: Hopefully the fact that he is "spitting mad" is a good sign. I offer my prayers for a full recovery AND that you can get there to be with him - meaning y'all recover too, of course! It is. He's slow to anger even on a good day. He feels like "they LIED" :) I can smile because it's nice to hear him mad and strong. He was also pestering someone about food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 It is. He's slow to anger even on a good day. He feels like "they LIED" :) I can smile because it's nice to hear him mad and strong. He was also pestering someone about food. I'd be right there with him being mad. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I am so sorry. Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I'd load little Tony up with some immune boosters and send him to his Dad. Then load yourself and kiddos up as well, wait until everyone is better and go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 I'd load little Tony up with some immune boosters and send him to his Dad. Then load yourself and kiddos up as well, wait until everyone is better and go. I think that's what Little Tony is thinking, but we are waiting for Big Tony's doctor to tell us exactly what is going on . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Praying! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Have your DH wear a mask and wash hands well. That should keep the germs away from your FIL. He can scrub, wear a mask, keep his distance and go see his dad. Get him there now. With luck his dad will rally, and hubby can be home with you for Christmas. But he needs to go see his dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 He can scrub, wear a mask, keep his distance and go see his dad. Get him there now. With luck his dad will rally, and hubby can be home with you for Christmas. But he needs to go see his dad. I don't want him back for Christmas ;) I adore my husband, and I would miss him terribly, but we try to never leave FIL alone for the holidays. I want him there with his Dad for Christmas. We're waiting to hear from Dad M's doctor. ... and then we need to make sure that they would even let a sick man on a flight. I'm not sure what the regulations there are. Worst case scenario, my husband will drive (although I'm not entirely sure that's a safe plan, personally, considering how tired/ill he is). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingiguana Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Skype? And then your husband goes as soon as he feels not sick? The hospitals around here are not letting visitors in who have flu like symptoms. Might be something to weigh in the decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 :grouphug: I hope the dr. report is good news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I don't want him back for Christmas ;) I adore my husband, and I would miss him terribly, but we try to never leave FIL alone for the holidays. I want him there with his Dad for Christmas. We're waiting to hear from Dad M's doctor. ... and then we need to make sure that they would even let a sick man on a flight. I'm not sure what the regulations there are. Worst case scenario, my husband will drive (although I'm not entirely sure that's a safe plan, personally, considering how tired/ill he is). Hugs!!!! Praying for all involved. I know they won't let you get on a flight if you have a fever or obvious signs of illness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Skype? And then your husband goes as soon as he feels not sick? The hospitals around here are not letting visitors in who have flu like symptoms. Might be something to weigh in the decision. Oh I can't imagine they would let him in. I just called and harassed the hospital a bit. He was put in a room, where he has a roommate (because they heard that he didn't like being alone), and my husband's cousin is with him, his lawyer friend just left, his BIL is coming to check on him later (the one I had the fun conversation with, lol). The nurse on his floor updated me with that they are giving him some kind of drip to steady his heart rate and he will see a cardiologist while he's there (he has one already, through the home health, but I guess because he's having a hard time keeping things steady right now, he'll see one with the hospital as well). They asked if I wanted them to transfer me to his room and I said no - when I talked to FIL earlier he got on me for worrying, which made him worry more, and spent the entire time apologizing for being sick! The nurse did say he was "adorable"; it was obvious that he was peeved about being there, but still "adorable". DH is supposed to be home soon, and we'll figure out when he's going, how he's getting there, and where (to Dad's house or what). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Thank you for the update, Aimee. All things considered, it sounds like your FIL is doing pretty well so far, and it's great that he is already charming the nurses! Praying for his complete recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: I hope everything works out for the best and all get to be together and healthy for the holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Thanks for the update, your FIL sounds like a wonderful man! I am glad is is feeling well enough to charm the nurses! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I hope he is better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Aimee, I just want to say your family seems so sweet and loving. I really enjoy reading the way you speak about your husband and your children. Continuing to keep you F-I-L in prayer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Is there anyone close to FIL who can go in with a laptop or iPad and help him Skype with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I hope your FIL gets well soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Mild heart failure. Fluid in his leg? I've officially lost my voice, so I can't call him, but I'm having DD dial him in a bit, when he settles back in (they just took him out for tests). DH just talked to him. He's refusing the sedative they want him to take (Adavan?). It's been established that for so long as he's in the hospital, DH can't be anywhere near him. ETA: they're still talking about releasing him tomorrow, in which case my Tony would be able to be at home with him (mask on, scrubbed up) to help care for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Is there anyone close to FIL who can go in with a laptop or iPad and help him Skype with you? I'm going to ask DH's cousin to bring something of hers. Dad M doesn't have a laptop or ipad, and won't let DH buy him one (he has a thing about too much technology, lol). Blessedly, yesterday he wasn't alone until the hospital kicked everyone out - his lawyer/friend was there for 5 hours, then DH's cousin, then FIL's BIL... his priest came by this morning (just to chat), and (big shock) his long estranged sister came today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Nico (DS5) keeps calling his hospital room to sing him his own rendition of Frosty the Snowman ;) It makes FIL laugh every. single. time because it is so far from the original version, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I hope his recovery goes well. If there are others around who can help him who are already healthy, it might be something to consider to have your Tony wait until he is also healthy. I can't imagine catching anything would help him out right now and even with a mask and scrubbed up it seems there would still be a bit of risk. But... I really don't know medically. Those are just my ponderings. No matter what, I hope it all works out well. I love your FIL's spirit and that your family all pulls together with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleWonders Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Prayers for you all. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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