How long have I been homeschooling?

[Desert Strawberry]

I usually say that we started when he was 3, because I used a formal program ( or 6), we did actual lessons, etc. It looked exactly like K and not too different from first grade.

 

I also acknowledge that that was too early, and I only did it because it was my first, kind of a trial run, a learning experience for both of us. I haven't started my others that early. 

 

I let my listener decide if it was real school or not. 

My answer was something like, "My oldest is twelve." But that isn't really an answer to how long, is it? I don't know. Counting by years just feels funny.

 

Around here, parents either "homeschool" prek (not typical at all), put the kids in preschool, or do nothing. In no way is formal lessons-or even informal read alouds and letter practice- just parenting. I know that's the case in many places, but it is definitely not here. If you want your tot to learn, you send him to school. The end. 

[Shellydon]

School begins in kindergarten, therefore you count beginning with the kinder year. 

[8filltheheart]

I guess I just don't understand why it even matters. I could understand if the questioner wanted to know if the kids had ever attended a B&M school, but length of time is not a gauge that offers any measure of equability. By itself, length of time really offers no insight to successful homeschooling.

[Sahamamama]

Oh, I only count it from when all my friends same-age kids went to school, and my kids didn't.

 

I don't count preschool but I won't hate on you if you do.

 

Around here, that was when a child turned two years old and was potty-trained (i.e., able to request to use the toilet). As soon as those two necessary pieces were in place, the child was enrolled in a program.

 

The mothers in my group could not believe that my oldest daughter was eligible but not enrolled. Anywhere? Not even at ______ (insert inferior program)? I heard (and overheard) a lot of comments, and most of those stung.

 

So, yes, I do count from three years old and up, because that is when we began to break away from the herd and do things differently from what was our social group's norm for "just parenting." When our oldest was three years of age, we did preschool at home. At four, we did pre-K, and by five we were rolling along with a solid and mostly academic Kindergarten.

 

And all at home! :) Not one other person I knew in real life was even considering this as an option. It was inconceivable -- Can you really do that? Don't you want more free time? Won't she be missing out? Are you certain? Won't she be behind? How will you know what to do all day? What about friends (because two year olds have so many friends)? Oh, I could never do that! You are so brave to try this experiment, but....

 

Looking back, I think these women were acting a part and being intentionally obtuse, as if they had never heard of homeschooling. I don't buy that act now. They knew about it, they just didn't want to acknowledge it as an acceptable and viable option. They didn't like us coming on the scene with the mere idea of home educating, as if that might be contagious.

 

No, they liked their freedom, their time without jobs or children, the ability to get manicures unencumbered.

 

But pretending as though preschool at home was a risky venture full of potential pitfalls? Or as if I didn't have the capacity to adequately stimulate and manage the educational needs of a three year old? Calling it brave of me to keep my four year old at home for pre-K? Give me a break! It was rude, really.

 

It wasn't that we called ourselves "homeschoolers" at first. No. It was that people asked, "Where do you have Crash wait-listed for when she turns two?" And we said, "Nowhere." That revelation brought the above-described reactions, which in turn led to us referring to ourselves as "homeschoolers." We needed the label to explain our intentions, otherwise people thought we were good-for-nothing parents who were too lazy to drop our child off at preschool.

[Veritaserum]

My first and fifth went to preschool. My first went because we weren't sure about homeschooling. My fifth went because it kept her happily busy and out of the way while I worked with other kids. Starting with K they were both homeschooled. The three kids between them didn't go preschool, but I still count their homeschooling as starting with K. My 2yo does some educational activities, but I don't consider myself to be homeschooling him at this point.

 

Kindergarten isn't compulsory here, (we don't have to register as homeschoolers until 1st grade), but it is universal. I doubt anyone but a homeschooler knows that K is technically optional.

 

WRT grade levels, I generally count them as being in whatever grade they'd attend in public school. However, I have two fall birthday kids born right after the cutoff. They are both doing work a grade level above the grade they "should" be in because they are capable of it. It is likely that they will both graduate a year early. My spring birthday kids are working "at grade level."

[texasmama]

Around here, that was when a child turned two years old and was potty-trained (i.e., able to request to use the toilet). As soon as those two necessary pieces were in place, the child was enrolled in a program.

 

The mothers in my group could not believe that my oldest daughter was eligible but not enrolled. Anywhere? Not even at ______ (insert inferior program)? I heard (and overheard) a lot of comments, and most of those stung.

 

So, yes, I do count from three years old and up, because that is when we began to break away from the herd and do things differently from what was our social group's norm for "just parenting." When our oldest was three years of age, we did preschool at home. At four, we did pre-K, and by five we were rolling along with a solid and mostly academic Kindergarten.

 

And all at home! :) Not one other person I knew in real life was even considering this as an option. It was inconceivable -- Can you really do that? Don't you want more free time? Won't she be missing out? Are you certain? Won't she be behind? How will you know what to do all day? What about friends (because two year olds have so many friends)? Oh, I could never do that! You are so brave to try this experiment, but....

 

Looking back, I think these women were acting a part and being intentionally obtuse, as if they had never heard of homeschooling. I don't buy that act now. They knew about it, they just didn't want to acknowledge it as an acceptable and viable option. They didn't like us coming on the scene with the mere idea of home educating, as if that might be contagious.

 

No, they liked their freedom, their time without jobs or children, the ability to get manicures unencumbered.

 

But pretending as though preschool at home was a risky venture full of potential pitfalls? Or as if I didn't have the capacity to adequately stimulate and manage the educational needs of a three year old? Calling it brave of me to keep my four year old at home for pre-K? Give me a break! It was rude, really.

 

It wasn't that we called ourselves "homeschoolers" at first. No. It was that people asked, "Where do you have Crash wait-listed for when she turns two?" And we said, "Nowhere." That revelation brought the above-described reactions, which in turn led to us referring to ourselves as "homeschoolers." We needed the label to explain our intentions, otherwise people thought we were good-for-nothing parents who were too lazy to drop our child off at preschool.

I think people's answers and their reactions to the questions have so much to do with their community and peer experience.  Just reading Sahamamama's experience, I realize how very different my own experience here in TX has been.  So it sounds like people need to tailor their responses to their communities and peer groups, as always.

 

Also, I think that most people are asking this question rather off-handedly, kind of conversationally, not as a way to open a debate and try to catch you in a fallacy.  lol  (Around here, anyway - I can't vouch for what happens in other parts of the country.)

 

ETA:  My answer is easy.  I did not send my older son back to private school in second grade so our family homeschooling adventure began that year.  When people ask how long I have been homeschooling, I tell them that we are in our 7th year.

 

What is ever so much more interesting to answer is when people offhandedly ask my younger son what grade he is in.  That's a riot.  :D  He is a good sport with his long-winded answer, though.

[Gil]

For my situation, which is a little more complicated, I just tell people we started homeschooling in 1st grade, since thats when I had to register my kids as home school students after our stint in public school failed. We did a bunch of core academics in reading and math from the time that the boys were 2ish. My kids went to their first year of public school last year my oldest was in 1st grade, my youngest in Kindergarten. The first day of public school they had already met most of the benchmarks for 5th graders in our area.

 

 

[Veritaserum]

It does appear to be regional. I occasionally hear of 3yo preschool, but it is uncommon. My niece attends preschool at age 2, but her mom works at the school (private, prek-12) to get free tuition for my 5yo nephew (and 2yo niece). Their baby sister also goes to school with them, but she stays with her mom. There are other 2yos in my niece's class, but most of them are children of well-off immigrants. 2yo preschool is even less common here than 3yo preschool.

[Sk8ermaiden]

I think people's answers and their reactions to the questions have so much to do with their community and peer experience.  Just reading Sahamamama's experience, I realize how very different my own experience here in TX has been.  So it sounds like people need to tailor their responses to their communities and peer groups, as always.

 

Also, I think that most people are asking this question rather off-handedly, kind of conversationally, not as a way to open a debate and try to catch you in a fallacy.  lol  (Around here, anyway - I can't vouch for what happens in other parts of the country.)

 

ETA:  My answer is easy.  I did not send my older son back to private school in second grade so our family homeschooling adventure began that year.  When people ask how long I have been homeschooling, I tell them that we are in our 7th year.

 

What is ever so much more interesting to answer is when people offhandedly ask my younger son what grade he is in.  That's a riot.  :D  He is a good sport with his long-winded answer, though.

I agree, when random people ask you, they are usually just looking to make conversation, or are curious. 

 

When homeschoolers ask, I think they are trying to get a handle on where you are in the journey. I've gotten monologues and monologues full of advice from a mom claiming to have been homeschooling 6 years! Only to find out she had a six year old. She wasn't talking about preschool curriculums...

[HS Mom in NC]

I think this thread is about clarifying terms like "school' and "homeschooling."   As you can see, people use these terms very differently. I think the OP is really asking what "starting homeschooling" means in the greater homeschooling community as she has probably noticed that many homeschoolers don't use the term the same way.

 

I don't tailor my response to my peer and community experience.  People here call daycare "school."  Seriously, they say their 15 month old is going to "school." That kid has been going to that "school" since  6 weeks old.  Some of those "schools" for newborns, infants and preschoolers even have the word "Academy" in the name.  I think that's ridiculous. Everyone else sends their kids to preschool at age  3 or 4 "for the sake of their education" if they can afford it. PS parents here screamed and yelled after a few years of taxpayer funded K was going to be cut due to serious economic problems here in the state. In their minds no one can be successfully educated without government preschool now that it had been an option for less than 10 years.  I use the term "preschool" to mean before academics.

 

As I said upthread, if it's not academics like math, phonics and writing, it's not school in my opinion.  I don't care what people label it and I don't care how old the children enrolled are and I don't care what the norms around here are. Compulsory age is 8 here.  Academics=school.  Not story time and playtime and craft time snack time and nap time.  My oldest started school at 4 because that's when she learned to read.  She could read like an adult at 5. She was clearly ready and not within the norm.  I didn't bang away at academics when she was too young which drives both teacher and kid crazy.  My next child didn't start learning to read until almost 8.  She did love math starting at 5 and we did that regularly.  She liked to do copy work, so it was school at 5-writing and math are academic subjects.  She could read like an adult by 11 and started college at 15 (for those posters here nervous about delayed reading.)

[Guest]

Another question. 

 

We did formal kindergarten twice. I noticed that some people don't count kindy at all. I can understand that. But i'm unclear why I would count one year of k and not the other? If I decided to repeat 3rd or 6th grade would that first pass also not count? 

 

I start counting at Kindergarten.  I can understand starting pre-school if you did a formal program every week for the entire school year.  If you repeated a grade, that still counts as another year.

[SarahW]

 I could understand if the questioner wanted to know if the kids had ever attended a B&M school,

 

 

That's how I understand the question. It's just shorthand for "Did you just pull him out or were you always planning to homeschool?"

 

I've always answered questions like these with a simple "He went to PS for K, and then we started hs'ing."

 

I didn't realize it could be more complicated.

[Ellie]

That's how I understand the question. It's just shorthand for "Did you just pull him out or were you always planning to homeschool?"

 

I've always answered questions like these with a simple "He went to PS for K, and then we started hs'ing."

 

I didn't realize it could be more complicated.

 

Oh, but you know that we *always* make things complicated! :lol:

[Mommy_of_4]

I count the year my kids would have gone to prek. My oldest is 2nd grade so we are on our 4th yr. We started academics at that time. Around here EVERYBODY sends their child to prek at 4yrs old and it is academically based not just play.

[ErinE]

I'm in my fourth year, but I have children in sixth grade and third grade. It's a different experience than someone who says he or she has schooled longer, but the child is younger.

 

I usually say my son's in sixth grade and we began homeschooling him in the middle of second grade.

 

In my experience, most parents just want to know what grade (age) is your child and did you always homeschool or did you pull the child from school.

[lea_lpz]

So just kind of wondering why some homeschoolers feel you shouldn't count until 1st grade? Not being snooty or trying to argue but genuinely want to know why?

 

I am trying to figure why so here's kind of what I got:

K- not a grade, like grade 1,2,etc

Not mandatory at least in our state

 

In my state public school and most private have k programs but I do know that in my stepsons school distract they had a wait list for k at one point since it wasn't mandatory and they didn't have enough spots, so those kids could be turned away to next year.

 

I went to Catholic school and one of the ones I went which I started in 1st grade coincidently did not have a k class. Most of the kids including myself had gone to kindergarten but a few didn't and so started school in 1st grade. Other than getting used to being away from home I do not remember them having other issues.

[Amithy]

I usually just say, "Since the beginning. And she's 12 now...so..." :)

 

Some people will interpret that to mean, "Since birth," and others will interpret that to mean, "SInce she was school age." Either way, it answers whatever question they're trying to ask. I think, generally, the people that I speak with, are asking if we sent her to school for a period of time and then switched to homeschooling, or if she's always been homeschooled. They're not actually interested in number of years.

[Haiku]

I'm in my fourth year, but I have children in sixth grade and third grade. It's a different experience than someone who says he or she has schooled longer, but the child is younger.

 

Yup. I'm in my 9th year of homeschooling. I did a year with my oldest when she was 11-12, and I've homeschooled my two younger ones since they were 6 and 5. They are now in 7th and 6th grades (my oldest is 20). For someone to come along and say she's homeschooled for 9 years, and her child is 9, is a completely different thing than the 9 years I have spent actually teaching my kids academic subjects, not just singing songs and reading picture books to toddlers.

[Desert Strawberry]

OK, I see now what the question means. I don't hear it often, but often enough that I feel I should have an answer. It makes sense that they are asking if I ever sent them to school. So I suppose "Since the beginning" or "Always" is appropriate, because we don't have a definitive start date, as in "I pulled him out of school in X grade."

[Sahamamama]

I guess I just don't understand why it even matters. I could understand if the questioner wanted to know if the kids had ever attended a B&M school, but length of time is not a gauge that offers any measure of equability. By itself, length of time really offers no insight to successful homeschooling.

 

:iagree: I agree! Thankfully, I soon "got over" feeling the need to answer this question directly. ;) Now, instead of giving a number of years, I usually just say, "Oh, we've always homeschooled." Sometimes I even add, "And we plan to continue all the way through to the finish line," but that depends a great deal on who is asking! I do think that the "we've always" response answers what people are actually asking -- they want to know if the girls have ever been "in" school.

 

Well, nope. So be very impressed! :lol: I'm a bit of a way into the 4th Grade. :lol:

 

Eight, I very much agree with you that what matters more is what happens in the homeschool, not how long you've been at it! :hurray:

[Mom22ns]

This feels so weird to me because you basically tell me my experience is not valid. My daughter specifically asked to read at age 1; we started phonics. At age 2, she was reading well and doing "preschool" math. At age 3, she read fluently and completed RightStart A. At age 4, she reads at fifth grade level, consumes massive amounts of nonfiction, is halfway through RightStart B, and largely does content subjects at a mid-elementary level. This is "parenting" to you?

 

Yes, it is parenting to me. My ds learned to read at 2 and dd learned to read at 3. I didn't homeschool either of them until much later. I was just parenting them at the time. They were both fluent readers when they started public school K, not because I homeschooled, but because they were bright children and I as a parent, met their need to learn. 

 

You can count your years homeschooling however you wish, but when people ask you how long you've homeschooled, they want to know about the years spent in school grades. It is the intent of the question. The easy answer for you is, always, or from the beginning. I expect stating a grade will always be complicated until she is in college full time.

[Xahm]

I have a one year old and a two and a half year old, and when we are out in public, people ask if we are homeschooling. I'm generally at a complete loss as to what to respond that doesn't sound insulting as my first thought is "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." My friend with kids the same age loves getting asked this, though, and proundly answers in the affirmative.

[Jackie]

Yes, it is parenting to me. My ds learned to read at 2 and dd learned to read at 3. I didn't homeschool either of them until much later. I was just parenting them at the time. They were both fluent readers when they started public school K, not because I homeschooled, but because they were bright children and I as a parent, met their need to learn.

 

You can count your years homeschooling however you wish, but when people ask you how long you've homeschooled, they want to know about the years spent in school grades. It is the intent of the question. The easy answer for you is, always, or from the beginning. I expect stating a grade will always be complicated until she is in college full time.

Not to pick out this one answer, as there were a few along these lines. So what makes it homeschooling to you? Age alone?

 

My daughter happily thrived with academics at age 3 - reading, math, science, Spanish, handwriting, spelling, violin. At age 4, she asked for more, so we added grammar, French, history, and art. We may add something at age 5, but only because she wants a third language and creative writing.

 

Honestly, I've never been asked how long. I've been asked if we were homeschooling, and always answered yes. An age-based answer to the concept of homeschooling just makes no sense to me. Why would it change from "parenting" to "homeschooling" at age 5? Or age 6? We'll be doing the exact same stuff, or close enough. I homeschool to avoid the expectations and labels of public school, and have no desire to label the experiences of myself or my daughter by arbitrarily assigned cutoff dates.

[HS Mom in NC]

I think the intent behind the question is different if a homeschooler or someone intending to homeschool asks it vs. someone whose kids aren't homeschooled.  If their kids are homeschooled or will be, they usually have specific questions about some aspect of homeschooling.  Asking the lady who pulled her kids out of ps a year ago when they were 10 and 12 probably doesn't have a lot to say about teaching a 6 year old to read.  If your question is about teaching fractions and sentence diagramming, the lady who started homeschooling her kids in Jr. High or High School can't help you much.  If you want to know about getting a good start early on and maintaining a faster, more rigorous pace so the kids are selective college ready, asking someone whose only been at it a short time isn't the best candidate. Someone who had been there and done that is.  Having college aged kids who were homeschooled the whole way through usually means you get a lot more questions about high school, college entrance exams, transcripts, etc.

 

When a homeschooler or future homeschooler asks you "How long have you homeschooled?" and you've been at it more than a decade, there are usually follow up questions.  I bet that happens sometimes with people whose kids aren't homeschooled too.  I suspect if the answer is a small enough number making it obvious you took some other route before you homeschooled, you might get some general questions about homeschooling because they might have a kid struggling in some sort of institutional setting (public or private) and might be open to considering different options by someone who has been there, done that. They might want to talk to other people whose kids have been square pegs in a round hole environment.

[HS Mom in NC]

Not to pick out this one answer, as there were a few along these lines. So what makes it homeschooling to you? Age alone?

 

My daughter happily thrived with academics at age 3 - reading, math, science, Spanish, handwriting, spelling, violin. At age 4, she asked for more, so we added grammar, French, history, and art. We may add something at age 5, but only because she wants a third language and creative writing.

 

Honestly, I've never been asked how long. I've been asked if we were homeschooling, and always answered yes. An age-based answer to the concept of homeschooling just makes no sense to me. Why would it change from "parenting" to "homeschooling" at age 5? Or age 6? We'll be doing the exact same stuff, or close enough. I homeschool to avoid the expectations and labels of public school, and have no desire to label the experiences of myself or my daughter by arbitrarily assigned cutoff dates.

 

I think you're absolutely right.  If you're teaching academic subjects regularly to a child who is clearly ready for it, you're homeschooling. Yes, your kid is way out of the normal age ranges for those things, but if she's thriving, you're clearly meeting her academic abilities and you're clearly homeschooling. 

 

Homeschooling is a parent teaching a child academic subjects him or herself.

 

[Crimson Wife]

I say that I've been HSing since 2006 since I did a year of formal pre-k that included using formal phonics & math programs. Almost everyone where we live sent their kids to pre-k at the time, even the families with SAHM's (this was back before the Great Recession). So I definitely felt that I needed to do more than just parenting.

[Crimson Wife]

School begins in kindergarten, therefore you count beginning with the kinder year. 

 

Unless it starts in 1st (like the charter Montessori school in my area) or pre-k (there are several of these in my district).

[katilac]

Except I wouldn't say that my child was "in 8th grade," because homeschooled children are ages, not grades. :-)

 

Not my homeschooled children. They have always been both; a 10-yr-old and a 5th-grader, etc. Their age didn't define them anymore than their grade did. 

 

I count from kinder. It's simplest. 

[Dramorellis]

I think it depends on who is asking. When people who are not familiar with homeschooling ask, they are looking for context for age and development. I get asked by this group, "What grade level would they be in". What level work they are doing is irrelevant to them. So saying "from birth always sounds silly to me since it doesn't provide any actual information. If it's a homeschooler asking, I think the information they are looking for is if the child was ever in school or not. I count from when the child is legally required to attend a school of some sort. In my homeschool I have 2 students but officially my daughter is not yet compulsory school aged. I am not homeschooling my 2 year old, I am parenting and loving him. I am parenting my 4 year old even though she is reading, we sit down and do math, Latin and science. I am just meeting her where she is in her development but she is not legally required to go to school. Next year she would be eligible and legally required to attend school so that's when she will start even though that will be the 3rd year of something intentional and directed with her. If she would not be legally required to be enrolled somewhere then I didn't take any active steps to make alternate arrangements. I just continued doing what I have always been doing. Our homeschooling journey began the year I had to actually sign something verifying us as homeschoolers. Obviously that gets more complicated if you are in a state that doesn't require such reporting. I run into lots of people who say "from birth" and they want to discuss curriculum and methodology with me and their oldest child is 3 years old. My oldest is 8 but have they been homeschooling longer than me? Even if their child is extremely gifted and doing the exact same level of work or higher as my 8 year old, it would be solely voluntary and they still would be at very different point in child development. I wouldn't try to arrange a play date or something with that family and expect the 3 and 8 year old to have a lot in common. People are just looking for a reference point in development.

[Wabi Sabi]

In my experience, when someone says, "How long have you been homeschooling?" they're not necessarily asking for a specific number of years as the answer. My stock answer is, "Oh, oldest went to preschool for three years and one semester of kindergarten before we decided to homeschool. Youngest has always been at home as long as you don't count the six weeks she spent in preschool when she was 3!"

In your case, I can't imagine anyone pressing you for a numerical answer if you simply said, "Oh, the children have always been homeschooled. Well, let's see... Sagittarius is twelve and would be in 7th grade this year if he was in public school, so it's been a good long while now!"

[lea_lpz]

^^ oh ok. Yeah in every day conversation-

"DD went to preschool 3 mornings a week but at the time we hadn't given homeschool a thought. DS never went but we did stuff at home with him and he tagged along with big sister for k & 1st. This year ds is doing K and dd is in 2nd grade. This is our 3rd year homeschooling."

[Alice]

I felt like a homeschooler when I decided not to send ds to preschool. We live in an area where everyone goes to preschool. That was the point where it felt like we were intentionally doing something different educationally. Looking back, I agree that it was really not much more than what any parent does at home, but at the time it felt significant. I actually felt more of an outsider then in social settings as pretty much every conversation started with "So where is C. going to preschool?" or "Is C. excited about kindergarten?" and then when I said we had decided to homeschool I could feel the weirdness in the room. I kind of felt like I belonged nowhere. Not a real homeschooler, not a not homeschooler. 

 

In my head when I think "how many years have I been doing this?" (which usually is on a bad day and is followed by the thought....and how many more do I have to go?) I count from kindergarten. So that would be 7 for us. 

 

If someone asks, I assume they are really asking "Have you always homeschooled?" and I just say "From the beginning." It usually answers the real intent behind the question. 

[MerryAtHope]

I count K but not preschool, (and in your case I'd count 1 year of K--not K-4). So, for a 7th grader, you're in your 8th year. 

[idnib]

I think the intent behind the question is different if a homeschooler or someone intending to homeschool asks it vs. someone whose kids aren't homeschooled.  If their kids are homeschooled or will be, they usually have specific questions about some aspect of homeschooling.  

 

I agree with this. 

 

It depends who's asking. If someone is interested in homeschooling they probably want a more detailed answer. Someone who's making small talk in the bleachers at the kids' softball game is probably thinking about what to make for dinner and doesn't really care if the answer is 6 years vs. 7 years.

[Mimm]

I would count Kindergarten. That's usually when people send their kids to school for real so if you keep them home, even if it's not heavily academic, then I think it's fair to count. However, I wouldn't count preschool stuff even if it was pretty structured.

 

Personally, I don't think it matters and I wouldn't be upset if I asked someone else how long they'd been homeschooling and they counted their years differently than I counted mine.

[Elisabet1]

I would say "since the beginning" and leave it at that.