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My 6 year old refuses to even try to talk in second language


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DS spoke only Spanish until he started preschool at 3. Then he switched completely to English. I'm a native Spanish speaker and I've tried practically everything to get him to be bilingual, but he seems to be really daunted or scared by the whole thing. Now he's doing well with Rosetta Stone, but he seems to freeze when he encounters any Spanish in the real world. I just brought him to a Spanish-speaking country for three months for immersion and while his accent improved greatly, and he can read aloud in Spanish, he can't say more than "si, no, gracias" and he understands very little. He watched videos of himself talking when he was 2 or 3 and doesn't know what he was saying. He's embarrassed if I talk to him in Spanish in public. 

 

I'm homeschooling him this year, but in English because he can't understand the concepts in Spanish and our books are in English. He was also a reluctant reader until recently (in English) but has become fluent very recently. It took a lot of very targeted work to get him here with reading, and I don't know how to do the same thing with Spanish. 

 

I'm again starting 100% in Spanish with DD who is 1, and I am hoping that he can relearn alongside her, but I'd really like to avoid making the same mistakes with DD. We are moving to an area with a large Spanish-speaking population, and I'm hoping that will make things easier as well. 

 

Any advice on how to make DS feel more confident about what he knows and get him back on his way towards fluency?

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I presume you are talking about a 5-6 yo?

 

I am not fluent in English.

But wat we did was doing 1-2 subjects in English.

Everything else was in Dutch, our mothertongue.

 

We are doing the same for French now, after failing attempts with common textbooks.

 

So you could pick a Spanish reading and a Spanish science/history book.

The topics in her science/history text were already covered in Dutch.

 

So in the beginning we did subjects double, first in Dutch then in English. After a while dd was able to do a unknown topic in English with help of a dictionary.

After about threes years of listening, reading, fill in the blank dd starts to speak, to write her own sentences in the new language.

 

I don't give any guarantees.

But it is what we do with dd.

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So I have experience being the reluctant child *and* being the parent of a reluctant child. My experience was that if I didn't want to speak German, and my parents were willing to accept English (regardless of their "encouragement" to do otherwise), I did not speak German. I see the same patterns with my own children. The fact is that learning another language is hard. Maintaining another language is even harder. My 5 yo son resists speaking German some, and he's very honest about his reasons: it's hard, and speaking English is just easier and faster, and he can say what he wants to much better. We talk alot about why we're speaking/learning German as he deals with these issues, so that he can start to understand the motivation (and hopefully, internalize its value). 

 

Until he finds his own motivation, though, I accept that it's my responsibility to keep him on track. My parents let me slide by with the bare minimum, responding in English when they were speaking German, and I wish they hadn't - even though I know that it was my own choice. You said you're homeschooling in English because he can't grasp the concepts in Spanish: I think that there are no concepts in 1st grade that will stick with him as much as getting him comfortable with a second language, and the academics themselves should be set aside to make the language learning a priority (if it really is important to you). I would switch to doing as much Spanish as you could, even if he doesn't understand it all right now. Immersion is how kids learn best and quickest, and the expectation that he needs to be speaking Spanish needs to be clear (even if you have some grace with him while he adjusts, so that he doesn't end up too frustrated). But some frustration is ok. My boy will speak English when super excited and I don't have time to slow him down. But he knows that, in general, if he can't say something he wants to in German, he should say as much of the sentence as he *can* in German, before switching to English. And then I give him the words he needs to complete the sentence in German. I am constant reminding my kids to speak in German, and we're in a really challenging time right now because the younger siblings are finally talking, and so now I have to get them speaking German to each other as well as me. Sometimes it works; often it doesn't. But I think the key is to stop accepting English as the default. :)

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DS spoke only Spanish until he started preschool at 3. Then he switched completely to English. I'm a native Spanish speaker and I've tried practically everything to get him to be bilingual, but he seems to be really daunted or scared by the whole thing. Now he's doing well with Rosetta Stone, but he seems to freeze when he encounters any Spanish in the real world. I just brought him to a Spanish-speaking country for three months for immersion and while his accent improved greatly, and he can read aloud in Spanish, he can't say more than "si, no, gracias" and he understands very little. He watched videos of himself talking when he was 2 or 3 and doesn't know what he was saying. He's embarrassed if I talk to him in Spanish in public. 

 

I'm homeschooling him this year, but in English because he can't understand the concepts in Spanish and our books are in English. He was also a reluctant reader until recently (in English) but has become fluent very recently. It took a lot of very targeted work to get him here with reading, and I don't know how to do the same thing with Spanish. 

 

I'm again starting 100% in Spanish with DD who is 1, and I am hoping that he can relearn alongside her, but I'd really like to avoid making the same mistakes with DD. We are moving to an area with a large Spanish-speaking population, and I'm hoping that will make things easier as well. 

 

Any advice on how to make DS feel more confident about what he knows and get him back on his way towards fluency?

IME, children shy away from speaking their native language in public or consciously stop speaking their native tongue, if they've received messages that it (the language) is inferior. Do you think he has received any such subtle messages from his school environment? Maybe his teacher? Or his peers?

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Deanna makes excellent points. It is perfectly normal and natural for a child to want to speak the language of the larger culture once he has become fluent, especially if it is necessary to communicate with teachers and friends. If you want the child to be bilingual, you absolutely must enforce that at home. A child doesn't forget his native language overnight. He may resist speaking at first, but if his parent speaks only Spanish to him, he will not forget. If the parent insists he reply in Spanish, he will not forget. I'm not sure how to backtrack with him now, although 3 months of immersion certainly should have helped. Moving to a Spanish speaking neighborhood should certainly help. I would definitely teach Spanish skills alongside English.

 

As for the younger child, stay vigilant. Speak ONLY Spanish with her, period. It will be tougher, because your older child will try to speak English with her, but don't back down. Mommy = Spanish 100%, that's it. And the older one will learn from listening to you speak slowly and simply to the little one.

 

I think you underestimated the power of the societal language (English) to overpower and replace the native language, since he was already fluent in Spanish as a young child. Living in a Spanish speaking area should absolutely help, but the most important thing you can do is to make your home a completely Spanish environment. No matter how old they are, once you become lax about speaking Spanish at home, their language skills will suffer. Bilingualism is truly a life's work.

 

Good luck!

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So I have experience being the reluctant child *and* being the parent of a reluctant child. My experience was that if I didn't want to speak German, and my parents were willing to accept English (regardless of their "encouragement" to do otherwise), I did not speak German. I see the same patterns with my own children. The fact is that learning another language is hard. Maintaining another language is even harder. My 5 yo son resists speaking German some, and he's very honest about his reasons: it's hard, and speaking English is just easier and faster, and he can say what he wants to much better. We talk alot about why we're speaking/learning German as he deals with these issues, so that he can start to understand the motivation (and hopefully, internalize its value). 

 

Until he finds his own motivation, though, I accept that it's my responsibility to keep him on track. My parents let me slide by with the bare minimum, responding in English when they were speaking German, and I wish they hadn't - even though I know that it was my own choice. You said you're homeschooling in English because he can't grasp the concepts in Spanish: I think that there are no concepts in 1st grade that will stick with him as much as getting him comfortable with a second language, and the academics themselves should be set aside to make the language learning a priority (if it really is important to you). I would switch to doing as much Spanish as you could, even if he doesn't understand it all right now. Immersion is how kids learn best and quickest, and the expectation that he needs to be speaking Spanish needs to be clear (even if you have some grace with him while he adjusts, so that he doesn't end up too frustrated). But some frustration is ok. My boy will speak English when super excited and I don't have time to slow him down. But he knows that, in general, if he can't say something he wants to in German, he should say as much of the sentence as he *can* in German, before switching to English. And then I give him the words he needs to complete the sentence in German. I am constant reminding my kids to speak in German, and we're in a really challenging time right now because the younger siblings are finally talking, and so now I have to get them speaking German to each other as well as me. Sometimes it works; often it doesn't. But I think the key is to stop accepting English as the default. :)

 

Yeah if I spoke German it would be easier.  That's really the biggest problem.  I don't.  And DH doesn't talk much.  And he isn't with the kids as much as I am.  So requiring them to speak German for those rare instances isn't very realistic.  But otherwise, I'd probably make a bigger issue of it.  People have said I should just learn German.  I really am not motivated to and I only have so much time and energy.  If I get to talk to my husband 30 minutes a day I don't want it spent talking with a tiny vocabulary. 

 

But from your parent's POV they may have cared more about their relationship with you than a second language.  That's how I've seen it with my own kids.  I don't want them hating their dad and refusing to talk to him.  KWIM? 

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Yeah if I spoke German it would be easier.  That's really the biggest problem.  I don't.  And DH doesn't talk much.  And he isn't with the kids as much as I am.  So requiring them to speak German for those rare instances isn't very realistic.  But otherwise, I'd probably make a bigger issue of it.  People have said I should just learn German.  I really am not motivated to and I only have so much time and energy.  If I get to talk to my husband 30 minutes a day I don't want it spent talking with a tiny vocabulary. 

 

But from your parent's POV they may have cared more about their relationship with you than a second language.  That's how I've seen it with my own kids.  I don't want them hating their dad and refusing to talk to him.  KWIM? 

 

I get this. We used to be a bit more strict OPOL, but it was really affecting the kids' relationship with their dad, since he doesn't speak German (and is also not motivated to learn it, with everything else on his plate). 

 

I think, looking back, my parents just didn't want to make a big deal of it. They figured it was my choice. But I think that, in part, they thought I understood the implications of that choice more than I actually did. It wasn't until my early 20's that I started to really understand those implications. I'd struggled so much with being "different" that I'd just wanted to put it all behind me so that I could fit in. I wish that they had explained more of the reason behind staying bilingual and the motivation, age-appropriately, of course. 

 

For me, raising my kids bilingually is a little bit like making sure my kids eat their vegetables (just a little *wink). I think it's important. Sometimes they like it, sometimes they don't, but I think it's what's best for them, so I require it regardless of their feelings that day. I may sympathize with them, and I certainly communicate my love for them so that my relationship with them doesn't suffer as a result. They may cry and whine and try desperately to get out of it. But once they accept that it's a fact of life, things go a bit more smoothly. It still may be hard, but I don't think it affects our relationship. I have seen parent-child conflicts that really do harm the relationship, and most of them aren't language related, honestly (since most of my friends aren't multi-lingual). I think it's less about the language, and more about how you deal with it. :)

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I am far from an expert but I do a lot of reading on bilingualism and have a lot of friends who were raised by non-Anglophone parents.

The kids who do NOT speak their heritage language have almost unanimously regretted that when they are in their teens and twenties. Those who do speak their heritage language are almost unanimously appreciative of it when they are in the twenties (they don't always appreciate it as teens.) I have always been fascinated by and a little jealous of those who speak 2 or more language.

So, if you want Spanish-English bilingualism for your kids, then the time to make it a priority is now, not later.

 

DS spoke only Spanish until he started preschool at 3. Then he switched completely to English. I'm a native Spanish speaker and I've tried practically everything to get him to be bilingual, but he seems to be really daunted or scared by the whole thing. Now he's doing well with Rosetta Stone, but he seems to freeze when he encounters any Spanish in the real world. I just brought him to a Spanish-speaking country for three months for immersion and while his accent improved greatly, and he can read aloud in Spanish, he can't say more than "si, no, gracias" and he understands very little.

When he was in a Spanish speaking country--what was his schedule like? Where there no kids for him to play with? Did he go to school? Did he have a caretaker? Did he know that he was going to be immersed in Spanish before he went? From what I can tell, it is really unusual for children to be in a country for 3 months and not learn any of the language--not even passively?

 

If he was engaged in a social circle--kids, caretakers, friends, family, community, etc-- and didn't learn any Spanish, that seems highly unusual. His passive understanding of the language didn't improve? I hope you stocked up on Spanish language books while you were abroad, because you are going to need some now.

He watched videos of himself talking when he was 2 or 3 and doesn't know what he was saying. He's embarrassed if I talk to him in Spanish in public. Why is he embarrassed by your speaking Spanish to him in public? Is it because he doesn't understand you or something else?

 

I'm homeschooling him this year, but in English because he can't understand the concepts in Spanish and our books are in English.

You'd best be getting some books in Spanish and ditching those in English if you want him to speak Spanish. If *you* want bilingualism for the kids, you'll have to fight for it starting now. You want to build his confidence and abilities in Spanish this year, not work through a traditional 1st grade curriculum in English. Your 1yo will begin speaking towards the end of this year and you want that sibling relationship to be in Spanish.

He was also a reluctant reader until recently (in English) but has become fluent very recently. It took a lot of very targeted work to get him here with reading, and I don't know how to do the same thing with Spanish. Simple: put in a lot of targeted work. By ' a lot' mean, just that: a lot.

You should search around for some inspiration: find blogs of bilingual K, 1st and 2nd grade teachers for some ideas for building language skills throughout the year. One homeschooling mom who has a lot of Spanish resources on her blog is MommyMaestra for Also, EarlyLearningAtHome has a Spanish section in her 1st grade section. 

 

I'm again starting 100% in Spanish with DD who is 1, and I am hoping that he can relearn alongside her, but I'd really like to avoid making the same mistakes with DD. We are moving to an area with a large Spanish-speaking population, and I'm hoping that will make things easier as well. 

 

Any advice on how to make DS feel more confident about what he knows and get him back on his way towards fluency?

If you think that Spanish is important and want your kids to speak it, then you must prioritize it now, not later. (I know I keep saying this, but as far as I know, this is key.)

I am far from an authority, but I would put an English based 1st grade aside and make the next 18-24 months about regaining Spanish language abilities. Since he can read in Spanish--start there. Make him some 3x5 cards on things that he often says.

"Can I have..."

"Can we go..."

"Will you take me to..."

"Can I watch..."

"I love you"

"I like..."

"I Don't like...."

etc.

 

Once he learns the phrases in Spanish, require it of him, do NOT accept English from him in situations when he knows the Spanish. Stock up on Spanish language media and only allow cartoons, audiobooks, CDs and DVDS played only in Spanish, Play board games in Spanish, do crafts in Spanish, do math in Spanish, start a daily journal and record his day with him in Spanish. There is a free elementary Spanish curriculum offered online by the Dept. of Education from Mexico, I would slowly start doing that curriculum--or another Spanish Language curriculum.

 

When you read with him in Spanish, ask him comprehension questions in Spanish "donde esta el libro?" "quien son los hombres en este pagina" etc. Get him some Spanish speaking friends, get yourself some Spanish speaking friends, take him to Spanish language play dates or host some yourself. Start or attend a Spanish language story time at a community center. Cognates are your friend when you are in the early stages of (re)learning a language, so are those "First 1000 words in Spanish" type books. Get one and make it a point to go through and learn 3 words a day or 10 words a week or whatever # of words in whatever period of time would be feasible for you.

 

Start a word wall in your hall way, kitchen or childs bedroom where he can post the words that he knows in Spanish and make every 25 words worth a prize of some kind. This will reinforce his vocabulary, reading and build confidence. 1st grade academics aren't that demanding, they can be covered in Spanish once he is Speaking. You can do 1st grade arithmetic in Spanish starting now, you can do time and measurement in Spanish in real life by having activities an conciously using the the clock and measuring utensils in the kitchen. When you read point out the page number--in Spanish. When you finish a book, say "This book has X pages" -- in Spanish.

 

Would attending a year of school in a Spanish speaking country be an option? Do tot school with your 1yo in Spanish and let your son be your helper. Maybe you can watch a Spanish speaking child in your home so that your son has a complete language model?

 

 

There are dozens of YouTube channels dedicated to Spanish language media for kids--you can find cartoons, movies, ASL stories (narrated in Spanish) and even Audiobooks in Spanish.

 

I'd think that its worth it it invest in an external harddrive download a lot a Spanish media for free. There is also a website--that has childrens stories in a bunch of different languages and is free. I can't remember the name of it--International Childrens Library I think.

 

Also, look into ReadingA-Z.com, they have a bunch of Reading and literacy resources, many of which are available in Spansih (and French) so it may be worth a subscription if you download and save it. Even if not, you can download a bunch of stuff for free as a trial membership also.

 

Find some Vintage Spanish textbooks and vintage readers on Google Books, also I like the Easy Spanish Reader by William Tardy and I think that a 6yo Spanish reader can easily use the 1st part of the book at the beginning of their Spanish studies.

 

I have some older Spanish textbooks and they are almost universally easier and more useful than the modern textbooks--they focus a lot of grammar via pattern drills, introduce longer--but simplistic--dialogs very early. I like the books by LaGrone, but Madrigals Magic Key to Spanish is also very useful but you'd have to be very creative to adapt the books lessons into games and TPR activities--its not a book I expect many 6yo to be able to use.

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Thanks for the replies. I can definitely identify with the posters who brought up the relationship vs. language aspect. Another hindrance is that my husband and I only have English as our common language.

 

Yet another issue is that I'm only homeschooling him this year. He'll be back to school in September. So while I can see the usefulness of focusing only on Spanish in our homeschooling, in reality there are so many other things I want to learn with him this year, that they supersede Spanish as the main focus. I can see how that can seem to be a deal-breaker, but that's exactly the challenge. I believe that we should be able to find a balance between the two. 

 

I feel that this issue is mirroring closely his path into reading. He seemed to acquire reading at a very slow pace when considering the amount of work he was putting into it both at home and in school. In the end, the pivotal elements were things that increased his perceived competence quickly, like more sight words instead of so much phonics work. I keep wondering what could have a similar effect on his Spanish. After all, people --like myself-- manage to become fluent in other languages in less than ideal circumstances all the time. 

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From what I understand, this is very common as the brain surges ahead in one language and just shuts down the other for growth. We live in an area where up to 80% of children speak a different home language than English depending on the activity, and NONE of them speak the home language with their parents when I see them. It's like it stops around three and then picks up again around 10 or something. I am not an expert but there is definitely a phase where they seem to reject the home language, but it is not a total rejection--it's like their brain needs space for other things.

 

"I believe that we should be able to find a balance between the two."

 

I think that is possible but it may not be realistic to see the fruits right away--a lot of Spanish learning might be passive at this point.

 

I wish I had time to find you the links, but knowing that this is super common among bilingual speakers, it's worth a Google.

 

Keep speaking, speaking, speaking and it will not be in vain.

 

Good luck!

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My son is also bilingual. He speaks manily Mandarin till 5 years old even he had been exposed to both languages from 1yo. (Mandarin at home and English at daycare) He struggles a lot when he started public K and was behind in reading till 3rd grade. We switched to English only during K-1 and then switched back bilingual environment when he was 2nd grade. He goes to Saturday Chinese school since K and his oral Chinese speaking has declined since he started public K. 99% of time he will speak in English even we speak Chinese to him. This year, we switched to different Chinese school and he has quite a few good friends go to the same school. This school is also more relax than previous one. I do notice he starts to speak Chinese again at home and ask for watching Chinese TV program.

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I just came into vent a little as well.  We are a bilingual family- my kids speak English and French- and we live in a French speaking country.  My DH speaks to the kids in French, but he does understand English. 

 

My two oldest have had NO ISSUES with this.  They are both perfectly bilingual, switch with no problems, and speak to each other in either language just depending on what game they are playing. 

 

But now I have a just-turned-3-year-old who will not speak French.  If she learns a word in French, then later learns that it is indeed a French word and not Englihs, she just flat out refuses to say it again.  I am tearing my hair out over here!!!  I have no idea how to handle it.  This is not her "heritage" language, it is the language of the country we live in!  She NEEDS it!!! 

 

GAH!!!! 

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Thanks for all the replies. We are back from our immersion time and I can see changes in his Spanish (his accent is now beautiful and he absorbed a lot of native interjections, which I think is adorable), but I am just not sure if we're still on track towards bilingualism with what we're doing so far. At the same time, when I was his age I probably knew less English than he does Spanish, and I ended up fluent in a handful of languages, so it is not a lost cause at all. It is just a very different path than the original plan I had, in which I would be able to create a space where he would simply absorb all three languages (English, Spanish and my husband's) as he grew up, and he would actually enjoy learning them. I think letting go of that idea is the hardest part! I need to adjust to his actual needs and wants, and I know that at this point it probably looks more like finding the right workbooks for him to feel confident than talking to him exclusively in Spanish.

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I just came into vent a little as well.  We are a bilingual family- my kids speak English and French- and we live in a French speaking country.  My DH speaks to the kids in French, but he does understand English. 

 

My two oldest have had NO ISSUES with this.  They are both perfectly bilingual, switch with no problems, and speak to each other in either language just depending on what game they are playing. 

 

But now I have a just-turned-3-year-old who will not speak French.  If she learns a word in French, then later learns that it is indeed a French word and not Englihs, she just flat out refuses to say it again.  I am tearing my hair out over here!!!  I have no idea how to handle it.  This is not her "heritage" language, it is the language of the country we live in!  She NEEDS it!!! 

 

GAH!!!! 

 

My only suggestion is ride it out.  I think the less of a big deal you make out of it, the less of a big deal it will be in the long run. 

 

Especially since you have a 2-parent household and other bilingual siblings.  She will be fine.  :)

 

My oldest (age 5)  is refusing to speak any english.  She hears me speaking it fairly often or sometimes will sit with me when I catch a bit of TV here or there (not that there is much time for that)...  If I can catch her off guard, she will answer me when I ask her a question in english.  If she has time to think about it, she says it is just too difficult, and I should really just speak French because it is much simpler for everyone.

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My only suggestion is ride it out.  I think the less of a big deal you make out of it, the less of a big deal it will be in the long run. 

 

Especially since you have a 2-parent household and other bilingual siblings.  She will be fine.  :)

 

My oldest (age 5)  is refusing to speak any english.  She hears me speaking it fairly often or sometimes will sit with me when I catch a bit of TV here or there (not that there is much time for that)...  If I can catch her off guard, she will answer me when I ask her a question in english.  If she has time to think about it, she says it is just too difficult, and I should really just speak French because it is much simpler for everyone.

 

After spending a week half-heartedly trying to force her to speak French, my husband and I both decided to just ignore it completely.  She speaks English, he answers in French, and for certain things, like getting to taste his yogurt, he pretends he doesn't understand unless she asks in French.  So far, she is just being stubborn, but I know if we ignore the issue, she will eventually give in.  :-D 

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  • 1 month later...

Three experiences which may help you or someone else:

 

1. We had a small amount of resistance from our DS to speaking Spanish with mom when he was about 5, even though he was (and is) bilingual English-Spanish.  Mom spoke exclusively Spanish to him and I spoke mostly English to him. When he said something in English to his mom, we just asked him to repeat what he said in Spanish.  Since he found it more work trying something in English, after a few times he went back to Spanish (whew, we're glad that worked out).

 

2, I've known another family who's approx 5 yo daughter started resisting speaking Spanish at home until a trip to Mexico, the parents' native country.  Upon seeing so many people speaking Spanish, the daughter was proud to speak Spanish again. 

 

3. Your plan to speak Spanish to your one year old may help your older -- kids are very curious and may want to know what you're saying, and the younger one is saying in response.  I've seen that be a powerful incentive to learn another language.  Of course, any contact with fluent speakers inside or outside the home will help.

 

 

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There's a lot of great advice from experienced parents already posted here, so I don't want to waste time re-treading all of it.

 

But, as encouragement, to reiterate some of the really fantastic points:

  • Be consistent: Designate either time (days, parts of days, etc) or people (this parent = Spanish, etc) to be in the target language. To the best of your ability, do it every time. If it's a parent and the child starts favouriting the other parent to not have to speak the target language, work out ahead of time to have the other parent direct the child back to the target language parent. It's not always feasible, etc., but consistency is a key issue. As mentioned above, don't just accept a response in a language you understand. The child should respond in the same language as the parent.
  • Make it fun: Don't just do schoolwork, chores, etc. in the target language. Play games! Do 1-on-1 things in that language. Have special rewards for completing certain goals. Read books that are fun, or watch shows, etc. Make an award chart for hitting milestones. Be goofy when the child chooses English to respond in. I like to make a funny face and pretend I don't speak English anymore and can't understand it. This usually makes DD laugh and she'll be in a better mood to cooperate.
  • Encourage and have exclusive benefits: In addition to little things, maybe there are fun activities or things to enjoy in that language, other kids to play with in that language, etc.

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. Even though I mentally know what has been said before, it's still really encouraging to see other people make it happen "in the real world".

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Do not give up. I regret not having been firmer with my oldest. My husband doesn't speak or understand any Spanish so family time has always been in English. At age 3 my oldest (now 17) refused to speak to me in Spanish, and that was that. She had been fluent until then (I had to go back to work and she went to daycare with English speakers). None of my children speak fluently. I teach Spanish as a Foreign Language to American kids, and my kids have learned that way. My oldest understands a ton, but she doesn't speak fluently. She wishes I had been more firm with her. My mom (who doesn't speak English) has never forgiven me for giving up, and blames me exclusively for the fact she can't converse fluently with her grandchildren. If you do not persevere you will regret it.

 

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Do not give up. I regret not having been firmer with my oldest. My husband doesn't speak or understand any Spanish so family time has always been in English. At age 3 my oldest (now 17) refused to speak to me in Spanish, and that was that. She had been fluent until then (I had to go back to work and she went to daycare with English speakers). None of my children speak fluently. I teach Spanish as a Foreign Language to American kids, and my kids have learned that way. My oldest understands a ton, but she doesn't speak fluently. She wishes I had been more firm with her. My mom (who doesn't speak English) has never forgiven me for giving up, and blames me exclusively for the fact she can converse fluently with her grandchildren. If you do not persevere you will regret it.

 

I agree. This is my story with my 2 eldest (now 19 & 16) who now blame me for not "forcing" them to learn French. Oyvey. I am far more diligent with 5 year old, but I also get the brick wall from her occasionally. I just keep plodding on...

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My kids read and understand spoken Mandarin very well. Speaking has declined about a year ago. I'm not terribly worried about it. As the semester winds to a close, I will include daily games in oral Mandarin. (We do year round schooling)

 

This is my take on learning another language. As long as they can understand (the input is there), the output will come when there is a practical need for it. Meanwhile, the exposure you consistently give will continue to wire their brains for the language. Remember: you are in a good situation. In many foreign language classrooms, they teach by focusing on the output without really consistent input. The result is speaking canned sentences without a huge stock of comprehension which is a waste of time.

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So many excellent ideas here!!!!

 

My family is English-speaking only, but I have a friend who is bi-lingual.  She said that to keep her kids exposed to her native language (Spanish) the family would speak in only Spanish at lunchtime.  English was OK the rest of the day.  I thought this was a unique way to approach it.

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  • 1 month later...

It will be interesting to see how this plays out with my daughter, since she is from the U.S. and speaks Spanish fluently, and her husband is from Latin America and speaks English fluently.  They are moving to the U.S. soon.  (and do not yet have children)

 

My sister-in-law who was in a similar position required that their children only speak Spanish at the dinner table, and they had all of their meals together.  So though they lived in the U.S. and attended U.S. schools, they were forced to speak Spanish at home (their father is from Mexico).  They also visited Mexico for an extended period of time every summer. 

 

Their oral Spanish became excellent, over the years.  Their grammar was learned in Spanish classes in school, like everyone else.

 

 

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