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Managing sensory stuff at the holidays


Dmmetler
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We're going in a couple of weeks to see family. DD's wardrobe, in general, is various soft pajama pants and t-shirts. Things that are soft and don't irritate her skin or make her on edge.  But they look like pajamas. And I know DH's extended family (or, more specifically, BIL's extended family)-they're going to comment and tease and DD can't handle that, and trying to explain DD's struggles to them is like talking to a brick wall. I'd prefer to get through the day without a meltdown either because her clothes are hurting her, or because she got one too many comments that she didn't know how to respond to on an already stressful day, both because it will embarrass and upset her to lose control, and because, frankly, I don't want to hear what a lousy parent I am and how if we'd just put her in PS it would solve all problems.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions on comfortable little girl clothes that feel like pajamas, but don't look like them?

 

 

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Can she handle leggings? If so, maybe leggings and tunic length jersey knit (t-shirt type material) tops or simple dresses? We can usually find those year round online at old navy. My oldest has a HFA dx and we've been managing sensory needs for many years, but my girls both have sensory issues as well.

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Give Hanna Andersson matching dresses and leggings a try. They're running some great sales right now.

 

That would be my suggestion as well. Various people also make fleece dresses. Even Old Navy has one though the elastic waist might be an issue. DW has a long jersey dress that is supper soft and comfy and while flattering mostly formless. I would think anything that is a dress would get them to back off. If not, it is hopeless so let DD wear what she wants.

 

Good Luck.

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Can you give her some water-off-a-duck's-back scripts for addressing rude comments? Maybe some role-playing?

 

I know that with my sensory-sensitive kid, I am really torn between trying to make him more presentable, to head off snark from conservative family he is required to spend time with; and keeping him as comfortable as possible, to make it more likely he will be able to actually use his hard-earned emotion regulation skills. So, I really empathise with you on this one!

 

I haven't found a perfect solution, but I have found that he tolerates less comfortable clothes better with an extra soft layer beneath them. I can even get him in jeans occasionally, if I put some soft tights (like cotton stockings) on him first.

 

Could your DD wear a comfy skivvy and some tights, then put a dress over the top? That way none of it would be touching her skin.

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We're in the same boat here - although leggings don't work for my DD, as they're too tight.  But we have found some WONDERFUL elastic-waist pants from Target that are PJ soft and don't have a zipper or tie.  We've found that the black and navy blue ones, when added to a "nice" top (as in, no softball/soccer T shirts) that is devoid of weird seams, smocking, embroidery and/or anything else that could irritate her on the inside, looks very nice. 

 

The pants have a bit of a flair to them, but not obnoxiously so. And unlike so many of Target's other pants geared towards girls, these sit at slightly above the waist, so no need to constantly adjust them from falling down their backsides.

 

These are the ones we have.  They call them sweat pants but they really are just a soft cotton knit.  You can dress them up nicely.  DD wears them with a plain long sleeve v-neck tee and has gotten compliments.  If you can find a tunic style shirt that would work great, too.  This is our go-to outfit when we go to church or have another "dressy" occasion.  She will not do dresses or skirts at. all.  And shoes?  Don't ask.

 

Just a thought - Do you do/ have you done any of the brushing protocol with her?  Even though we're long past daily brushings, I'll still give DD a session in the a.m. if I know she may be dealing with sensory triggers later in the day.  It seems to offset them a bit.   Maybe that might help your DD as well? 

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I wrote about about avoiding holiday meltdowns last year: http://www.libertyhillhouse.com/2012/11/21/melt-downs/

 

In general I'd rather have a content child than content relatives. They don't need to understand - they just need to be gracious. If they can't do that, we don't go. I have done this wrong enough times that I've learned to be assertive in telling folks to back off rather than creating a miserable anxiety-filled day for my kid.

 

Our favorite stores for soft clothes are Lands End (dresses made of the same material as sweatpants), Gymboree, and Hannah Anderson.

 

Hugs and best wishes for a peaceful holiday

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The only pants DD will wear is fleece pants - I've gotten them from Target and Kohls.  They are just a single plain color - no writing/sparkles/etc (they look like the ones clemota linked but they are fleece not cotton knit).     It is definitely the softness DD is going but they don't look like pj's - she has worn them many, many places and no one has ever remarked on them.

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My girls have always gone for soft leggings plus Land's End pullover dresses, and none of them even have sensory issues; they're just so easy and comfortable. The consignment stores always seem to have them.

 

A small young friend of mine with FASD and sensory issues has a lovely Chinese silk outfit, with beautiful embroidery on the outside but plain soft silk lining. Her mom said it was surprisingly inexpensive for how luxurious it looks.

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I'll echo the recommendation for Hanna Andersson, though I get all of ours second hand on ebay or in thrift stores.  My daughter wears long sleeved/long pants cotton pj's when we're at home (year round).  I asked her OT about it and she said that for some kids it's like another skin.  They can feel where the cuff on the arms and legs is, so it gives them more body awareness as to where the body ends or begins.  

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Lands End has different seam finishes on the inside. I thought I'd give you a heads up in case that is an issue, it is for mine. They are very similar in appearance, but the cottonknit blend is MUCH softer with Hanna and the seams are much less pokey on the inside.  I made the mistake of ordering Lands End without consulting dd1 first, and we had to make some returns..... Dd showed me the difference, and I could tell it as a non-sensory person.  The average person would not think it much a change, fwiw.

 

 

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