sharing an article: teacher blog about disruptive child

[merry gardens]

A teacher friend shared that same article on Facebook.  It did make me stop and think. 

 

But "privacy" is also really frustrating to me as a parent who has a child with mild special needs in high school.  I filled out all this paperwork explaining his situation, only to find out at the first teacher conference last year his teachers didn't know anything about it. :glare:  So I told them and the teachers made a few simple changes and things improved.  I thought it was odd they didn't know, but it worked out. Then again this year at the teacher conferences--same thing!  One teacher mentioned that the school didn't share all that with teachers due to "privacy concerns"!!!!  Really?  Do they think I filled out all that information on those papers just to have it sit in some file cabinet?

 

We don't have to know everything about everybody else's business, but sometimes people should know at least a little bit about what's going on with a child.  It's not always in the child's best interest to keep everything "private".  Even when it comes to "THAT child" it could be helpful if the parties affected by the outburst knew a little more.  It may just serve to evoke some sympathy such as what this teacher did in writing the composite of reasons why. 

[wendyroo]

I think this goes back to different school types - because at my local school my interpretation makes sense.  Where THAT kid doesnt' have to do it all to be labeled.... heck, THAT kid probably was already 'pegged' as THAT kid by gossip before any actual physical incident even took place.

 

How can you get past this:

 

"I know. You’re worried. Every day, your child comes home with a story about THAT kid. The one who is always hitting, shoving, pinching, scratching, maybe even biting other children."

 

How does that not ring alarm bells in your head?  I am trying to understand, but it makes my brain hurt to imagine a teacher admitting that the other kids are always being hit, shoved, pinched and scratched...oh, yeah, and maybe bitten by one child and she wants the parents to accept the situation because there is a legitimate cause.

 

How is that okay on any level?

 

Wendy

[LaughingCat]

How can you get past this:

 

"I know. You’re worried. Every day, your child comes home with a story about THAT kid. The one who is always hitting, shoving, pinching, scratching, maybe even biting other children."

 

How does that not ring alarm bells in your head?  I am trying to understand, but it makes my brain hurt to imagine a teacher admitting that the other kids are always being hit, shoved, pinched and scratched...oh, yeah, and maybe bitten by one child and she wants the parents to accept the situation because there is a legitimate cause.

 

How is that okay on any level?

 

Hyperbole?   :leaving: 

 

The milk description stands out to me  - because it is just not on par with the rest of the 'incidents' she is describing and IMO it is not just another thing this same child is doing - because the whole thing is obviously a compilation of what many children have done (otherwise she'd be breaking privacy).  The fact that this relatively mild thing was memorable enough to her to include doesn't make me think "the child is hitting, shoving and pouring milk on the ground in anger".  Instead it makes me think of overprotective helicopter parents overreacting or the 'gossips' at my local school deciding just who is THAT child.   And if that is the type of thing she is describing and she is just using hyperbole for "always hitting" and "coming home every night" - then it is just a matter of being able to trust that the teacher and school are taking care of the situation appropriately (which is almost impossible to do when they give you no information of course)

 

But really, it's just as likely it was just a poor choice of example on her part and your interpretation is the right one...

[Lecka]

I read it like she is saying "yes, sometimes the very worst happens, and it sounds bad." 

 

I didn't read it and picture a chaotic classroom environment. 

 

I still think -- if you read it with a context of picturing a horrible, chaotic classroom, then you fit the blog post to that image. 

 

But if you read it and picture a lovely Kindergarten, then you picture it as "hey, these are little kids, they are not perfect, sometimes these things happen, it is part of being in a group."  That is where I am at.

 

So -- nope, not concerned when reading it.

 

I think she is saying "you worry b/c your child is the most special to you, of course you worry about your child, and worry he/she is just one of the crowd to the teacher with 22 kids in her classroom."  I don't think she is saying "you are worried for your child's safety." 

 

It seems like it is mostly about a parent worrying that their child will not get enough *attention from the teacher* and not like the parent is *worried about the child's safety.* 

[albeto.]

I think many schools introduce special needs kids into general ed classrooms without the proper safety measures in place simply because they cannot afford to pay aide

 

Skimming because this is a tough topic for me personally, but I suspect you misunderstand the purpose and function of inclusive education. Please let me know if someone has said this already and I'll come back and edit this, but we're talking about the right to a Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) that extends to persons with disabilities. This right had been guaranteed to most American children for decades (in a series of legal moves that slowly moved children away from factories and farm labor to education provided at the taxpayers' expense). Slowly but surely laws are changed and modified and remedied as problems are identified and solved. There will never be a perfect solution, but surely we can agree that providing an education for children who do not fit the typical developmental milestones most children naturally fall into. 

 

Parents and teachers have been arguing about what is "appropriate" in these contexts, and as this is not a chemical equation with all variables being equal that we're dealing with her, there is no one solution. We continue to suss out major themes and issues as they come up. The pendulum swings differently in different regions of the country. Sometimes the child with the special needs will get attention at the cost of his or her classmates, and sometimes the class gets attention at the cost of the child with the special needs. Sometimes the teacher is caught in the middle, and sometimes the teacher creates an environment of neglect and hostility. Each child, family, school, district, and state will vary from another in their philosophy as well as ability to solve difficult problems. 

 

In answer to your question, how much violence is appropriate, I think the answer should very easily be recognized as "none." No violence is appropriate. Sadly, it is unavoidable. The most prudent thing to understand I think, is the circumstances of the various events in which aggressive behavior occurs so that modifications can be made to prevent further events. This isn't just for special needs, but for all kinds of inappropriate aggressiveness in schools. I think this is no easy task, and without sufficient funding, very little can be accomplished. However, without logical, rational plans, funding will be wasted. 

 

There is no one point at which this all turns around. I think TM has a good idea in that linking even seemingly unrelated variables (like food and nutrition) is worthwhile. Michelle Obama has been working to encourage a culture of healthy eating and active habits, and for her troubles her programs receive hostile reviews. While these lunch programs may be problematic to institute, surely working together to solve problems of nutrition in schools is more productive than working to demonize the individual. It's hard to work together to solve an issue when one camp believes more funding is necessary, and another thinks that's counterproductive. It's also harder when parents are bringing home less money, the temptation to buy cheap, filling food is pretty high, especially when you simply don't have any skills or time for alternatives.

 

But that's just one variable. We've also got a culture of assuming behavior is willful and punishing is the most effective solution. Extreme behaviors must require extreme punishment, right? Spanking in schools is still allowed in what, 19 states? So clearly there's a perceived correlation between behavior and willfulness that is getting in the way. Add to that increased population, through migration, immigration and the celebrity treatment of large families, and you have one hot mess on your hands. These things need entire re-shifting of social constructs, beliefs, and values. A shadow aid in the classroom simply is not enough for a long term (or even short term) solution.

 

But my point is, I don't think schools neglect children just because they can't afford aids. I think there's so much more to it. While I think sympathy and compassion is always appropriate (for all involved), I do think that this problem is no less complicated than, I dunno, flying to the moon? We just have more wiggly variables to work with, but no less important.

 

 

[Lecka]

I don't think she is saying anyone is having a hissy fit (though by now I haven't read the blog post since last night or this morning). 

 

I think it is more one of those things that are about "teachers are concerned about every child in the class, parents are worried about their own child." 

 

I didn't read it and think "if you are worried about the needs of your own child, you are having a hissy fit, or trying to be against other parents."  I read it more like "here is the teacher's point of view." 

 

If I thought the teacher came across like she viewed parents of her students as "having hissy fits" then I would not have liked this blog post. 

 

I thought it was more like -- she sees the parent's perspective, and she is sharing her perspective. 

 

I thought she came across warm, too, not like somebody who is going to blow off parents. 

 

There are teachers who blow off and belittle parents ----- I just did not get this vibe from the blog author. 

 

 

[Lecka]

Albeto -- I know they are not always done properly, unfortunately, but I am *really* big on functional behavior analysis (fba) and positive behavior supports (pbis --- I don't know what the "i" stands for). 

 

They are used in a few places at least, they are used in my school district.  I think they are done very well at my kids' school. 

 

They are ways to try to be positive and create a positive environment for kids so they will do better. 

 

They are also looking for root causes of behaviors. 

 

My younger son has positive behavior supports written into his IEP.  So -- it is in his IEP, they must be implemented. 

 

So -- it is really the opposite of "the cycle of escalating punishments."  Of course not every place does this, but I think it is *so* *good.*

[Lecka]

Also, Sadie, I have a nt daughter, too, she is in Kindergarten.  She sits at a table with a little boy who has an aide.  It is no problem.  She is not being pushed to the side.  The aide is *extra* and the aide takes care of this boy's needs. 

 

But I care about her needs, also.

 

I think that there are a lot of special needs parents who are also parents of kids with no special needs.  That is my situation.  I do not see it as a "let's take sides" b/c who wants to take sides against your own kids.  Among people I know, I do know a few where all their kids have a special need, but that is the minority. 

 

It is just not that big of a deal to me like I need to be worried about it.  But of course I will talk to her teacher if I have a concern, too.  I err on the side of talking to the teacher. 

[wendyroo]

  A shadow aid in the classroom simply is not enough for a long term (or even short term) solution.

 

I don't think I ever implied that an aide would magically solve all the issues.  However, in the article the teacher mentions a s/n child exhibiting 5 aggressive incidents a day in the classroom.  If an aide is there stopping that child's hand those 5 times before he hits, shoves, pinches and scratches other children (actions which the author says happen "always") then I would call that an improvement, if not a solution.

 

I totally agree that it is a complicated problem.  As I said in my first post: 

 

I cried as well, but largely because there are no good answers.  

 

ALL children deserve a free and appropriate public education.  Unfortunately, what is appropriate for one child is often in conflict with what is appropriate for another, and when you add in financial limitations there are no good answers.  Peter was THAT kid in school, and the class certainly did not provide an appropriate education for him.  At the same time, some of his behaviors made the classroom an inappropriate learning environment for the other children.  That particular public school managed to short change everyone.  I pulled Peter out, and if one of my neurotypical kids had been in the class with a child like Peter I would have probably pulled them out as well.

 

Maybe I do "misunderstand the purpose and function of inclusive education".  

 

Wendy