mamavee Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I have been asking a lot of questions since finding this forum so I apologize! It's been nice to ask the questions I have been seeking answers for on my own especially when my family isn't being supportive of my decisions. I make all decisions regarding school because dh travels for work and is hardly ever home. I am the full-time parent and educator. Obviously I have struggled with the whole charter school situation that I wrote about in another thread. We are now leaving that school and going to do hs privately. My family wasn't supportive of homeschooling in the first place but now that we are experimenting with different things and trying to find what works for us, they won't stop butting in. One person is telling me that my ds isn't learning enough, other person is saying too much work send him back to ps, or that I'm going to make him dumb by being home, that I should so this or that, etc etc... Everyone has their opinion of what I should or should not be doing. Each time I talk to them I am more confused on what to do or second guessing everything. My family all live close and we see each other often, and their negativity is really getting to me! I told them last week that they are not helping with our schooling or coming over to teach ds, so unless they want to take over my role then stay out of it. Ughh, sorry for the rant! I needed to let that out since dh is not around much because of his job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: This is a very difficult situation to be in. Depending on who the family members are and how much the relationship means to you, my main advice is to do the best you can to ignore them for now and DO NOT SEEK their advice right now. You are in the fragile beginning of this journey. Find other homeschoolers in your area. Network as much as you can to get a good support structure in place. About the only way you may convince these family members you made the right decision is through time and the experience of seeing how well it actually is working for your family. Even that is not a guarantee but frequently it does help. For any family member that might be amenable, you might see if they would accompany you to one of the larger homeschooling conventions, if that is an option for you and your family. I know when DH saw how many homeschoolers were at the large convention I dragged him to, he felt better. He didn't feel like we were some bizarre fringe family even though where we live there are VERY few homeschoolers and it is not well known as an option or culturally supported. If you find any positive articles on homeschooling you might pass those along. But honestly, none of that may make an impact in the short run. Painful as it may be to do, you may just have to continue to firmly tell them to butt out of this matter. If they cannot be supportive of your decision, even if they don't agree with it, then they are toxic to you and the topic should be avoided whenever possible. Hugs. Not all of my family are exceptionally supportive either. Even my pediatrician and primary care physician questioned our decision. At least my mother is 100% behind me and she was a public school teacher for several decades. That has helped me stay strong against the naysayers. Best wishes and good luck. Huge hugs, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 As long as your DH is supportive, you need to make very, very clear to your extended family that this isn't their business, and it isn't up for debate. I'm a meanie; if my family were constantly butting in with negativity, about something they have NO input in, they wouldn't see me until they could learn to zip it - I put up with negativity most of my childhood and I've recently learned how LOVELY life can be without allowing such things into my life (the priv of being an adult, versus a child with no choice in the matter). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Have you ever heard the phrase "pass the bean dip"? In a nutshell it means "change the subject and don't engage". As in... Mom: Aren't you worried that your kid will be so ignorant, you should send him back to school, and...! You: No, I'm not. Wow, Mom, this bean dip is delish, what did you put in it? Here, pass me some more, would you? Unless these other people are primary caregivers or share custody with you, it's none of their business. They don't need to approve. If you let them start talking about it, you're sending the message that the matter is up for discussion. And if it's not, it's not. Don't let them even get started. Just like dealing with toddlers, as soon as they open their mouths, redirect, redirect, redirect. Auntie Em: He's not learning enough! You... You: He's progressing just fine, thanks for asking :) But what I wanted to talk about was your hip. How are you doing? What did the doctor say? Do you need me to bring over some meals, or can you handle that? It doesn't really matter what you say, it can be completely nonsensical, so long as you change the subject. I promise you, even stupid or stubborn individuals eventually get the hint. Uncle Steve: It just seems like so much work! I don't get why - You: Aw, it's sweet of you to be concerned! But we've got it under control. It's not nearly as hard as that time you and the boys went camping, remind me what happened? Just imagine that your words are like a huge force field surrounding your body, and by opening your mouth you can keep the space pirates at bay. Grandma: He's gonna be so - You: Oh, darn, I think I hear the phone, hold on... You, five minutes later: Nope, just a telemarketer. You were talking about your prizewinning begonias, how do you get them so lush? Grandma: I don't keep a garden. You: Really? You should! It's a wonderful hobby. You know, I can't believe I thought that was you. Maybe that was my neighbor.... You really should, though, all your neighbors would be jealous...! I'm jealous of Mary down the block, her garden is always so colorful, and the roses smell wonderful... *natter on for another half an hour* If they're really persistent, you might have to be direct. "Mom, listen. I know you're worried, but I don't intend to talk about it with you. Next time you bring it up, I'm hanging up the phone". And then follow through, again, just like with a toddler. If this means hanging up on your family all the time for a month, do so. If this means you drive two hours to get to Thanksgiving and you leave twenty minutes later, grab a slice of pie on your way out the door. It's strict, and it's mean, but it does do the trick. The real problem here isn't that they disagree with homeschooling. The problem is that they have no sense of appropriate boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Definitely pass the bean dip. Don't waste you energy. Just focus on getting your homeschool ino a good groove right now. I have some extended family who are now supportive. They were intitially skeptical (at best) and concerned. We are in our fifth year of hs and it took a while for family to see that our kids do well academically and are not socially inept etc. Also these extended family are people who read and are open to learning about homeschooling and are well mannered enough not to offer unsolicited advice. I have had numerous good conversations with these relatives and they have been willing to read some articles and even books I have suggested. Meeting my homeschooling friends and their kids has also been helpful. Then there are my in-laws.... You know your family. Maybe some will come around if you approach it well, maybe not. Ones who are trying to meddle now are probably not the most likely to be convinced later. Save your emotional energy for your DH and your kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane Elliot Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I'm a fairly stubborn, but non-confrontational personality, so my approach was to silently listen, and then to do what I wanted to do, working my tail off with the kids to prove the naysayers wrong. The comments annoyed me to no end, but they also motivated me, and that worked out really well for us. Years later, some are graduated and doing very, very well. I never hear the types of comments you're hearing anymore. In fact, at this point, they have been so proven wrong that everyone knows those types of comments would be downright silly, so I only hear good things. Hang in there. Once you get into a routine that's working for you, you'll be able to ignore a lot of the comments. Work at it consistently, do what you know is right for your child, and your day will come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamavee Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 My parents and sister live down the street and often come over. Another annoying thing is now that we are homeschooling, they think that they can show up uninvited at any time of day. I have told them numerous times what our schooling hours are and to please respect that. I have stopped opening the door when they just show up because they don't seem to understand. My inlaws are the ones who haven't bugged us and are more understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamavee Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Thank you all for your support, it means a lot to me! I feel better now by being able to get this off my chest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane Elliot Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 My parents and sister live down the street and often come over. Another annoying thing is now that we are homeschooling, they think that they can show up uninvited at any time of day. I have told them numerous times what our schooling hours are and to please respect that. I have stopped opening the door when they just show up because they don't seem to understand. My inlaws are the ones who haven't bugged us and are more understanding. Good for you! Consider a sign on the door, too: Please Do Not Disturb, School in Session. You could add the hours that you plan to school to your sign, so that they know when they can come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 My MIL who started off befuddled about homeschooling and now just goes with it, took a long time (7 years) to realize that just because I homeschool doesn't mean I can go to the movies with her in the middle of the day. But she does that about everything. She wanted to go out to an early dinner the other day and I said, "The cat has a vet appointment at 3:00" and she said, 'Well, just reschedule it!" But I digress... The point is, you have to guard your homeschool time. Guard it like a big, snarly, doberman guard dog! Good for you for not answering the door when they try to pop in during school. And everyone else is correct. Do not engage them in conversations about homeschool. We've ALL btdt. We've ALL tried to convince a naysayer that what we are doing is good. We've ALL thought that if we just said the right thing, they'd come around. We've ALL thought that if we just showed them a well-written pro-homeschooling article the lightbulb would go off over their heads and they'd be convinced. They don't come around by your words or articles you give them. Every time I've tried to convince someone about homeschooling with words I've been left with a terrible icky feeling. Do not engage. Just change the subject over and over and over and over, as the other posters have said. It's something we tell everyone here on these boards because we've all realized that it's the only thing that works. If they ever come around (and some never do) it will only be after time has passed and they see you doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I'm so sorry sweetie! I've always been very good at telling my family to kiss my butt so I have no advice on that end. But please, please know that you know exactly how to raise your children and nobody can do a better job than you. What you are doing is absolutely the right thing and nobody has the right to put doubt in your mind or judge you. Heck, they obviously aren't the best examples anyway if they think they have the right to talk to you like that. You are doing great! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I have been asking a lot of questions since finding this forum so I apologize! It's been nice to ask the questions I have been seeking answers for on my own especially when my family isn't being supportive of my decisions. I make all decisions regarding school because dh travels for work and is hardly ever home. I am the full-time parent and educator. Obviously I have struggled with the whole charter school situation that I wrote about in another thread. We are now leaving that school and going to do hs privately. My family wasn't supportive of homeschooling in the first place but now that we are experimenting with different things and trying to find what works for us, they won't stop butting in. One person is telling me that my ds isn't learning enough, other person is saying too much work send him back to ps, or that I'm going to make him dumb by being home, that I should so this or that, etc etc... Everyone has their opinion of what I should or should not be doing. Each time I talk to them I am more confused on what to do or second guessing everything. My family all live close and we see each other often, and their negativity is really getting to me! I told them last week that they are not helping with our schooling or coming over to teach ds, so unless they want to take over my role then stay out of it. Ughh, sorry for the rant! I needed to let that out since dh is not around much because of his job. I avoid those conversations as much as possible, even if that means stopping someone in midsentence and saying that I am not asking for advice and to please stop talking. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nwlivingmom Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 You are the momma, you know your kiddos best, and you love them more than anyone else in the world. Will you do it perfectly? No, none of us do. But, at the end of the day, you are more invested in their success than any other person on earth. Trust yourself and stop wasting energy on negativity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 More suggestions in this thread: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/528295-family-members-or-friends-who-dont-support-homeschooling/?hl=%2Bbean+%2Bdip&do=findComment&comment=5926040 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 1. Stop wanting approval. Once you make peace with the idea that they will never like that you homeschool, you'll free up mental and emotional energy for actual homeschooling. If they come around, great! If not (and this is the most likely scenario) it won't matter because you're already at peace with that. 2. Don't assume their questions are about information. When they ask about homeschooling, simply tell them that there are piles and piles of information online and in print and you'd love to chat with them about it after they have researched it thoroughly. Until then, don't entertain detailed conversations with them. Say, "Homeschooling's going really well, thanks." Then change the subject. If they persist in telling you how to homeschool simply reiterate what you've already told them with something like, "I only take homeschooling advice from experienced homeschoolers." Rigidly enforce those boundaries. You shouldn't have to put up with that any more than a ps teacher should have to put with her relatives telling her how to run her classroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 You will never be able to get school done if you have drop ins regularly. If everyone lives close by you might want to set regular hours where you don't talk on the phone or have people in. You have a job and they want your company. It's a change for everyone. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 You've already gotten good advice and I agree with it. Change the subject. Refuse to engage. Be blunt if necessary. Here is one more, don't bring it up yourself. In the early days of homeschooling, I found myself mentioning it far too much. What we were doing, the time it took, comparing to others. If you bring up the topic, you are inviting criticism. Be careful. I know you need to be able to talk to those close to you about the challenges, but you may have to redefine who is "close". We'll be your new best friends. You can tell us when you have a bad day or a good one. You can tell us what took to much time to plan or what was a surprise success. For now, don't tell your family. Even the positives just open the door for conversation that can head down paths you don't want to take. Close the door. Close it firmly. Lock it. Bolt it. Chain it. The topic of school is out of bounds. If they push, tell them right now things are fine, but you are all adjusting to homeschooling and you would appreciate not discussing it for awhile. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 A friend of mine with a mom that likes to just drop in unannounced started gathering her two kids up and taking them to the library at 10am (mom never dropped by earlier than 10am). They would then eat a picnic lunch at the park next door and return to the library to finish their work and come home when they were done for the day. She said it helped with focus and her mother finally stopped dropping by without calling since they were never home. Eventually they stopped going every day, just once a week, but by then her mom was no longer dropping by all the time. Just thought I would share in case you needed a more drastic option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 How can they butt in? I never ever tell anything to anyone who is not supportive. Really, I do not discuss anything I do regarding home schooling with anyone except home schoolers. I would retreat to a room where they cannot tell we are here (I park in the garage) and not answer. I would not discuss anything. Frankly, I have taken to snarky remarks to the rare person who has the nerve to say anything. It is extremely rare anyone says anything, so I can keep up with the snarkiness when it happens. My oldest sister used to say stuff like newborns need to be in daycare with the professionals and if I try to care for my newborn by myself, I could mess it up and ruin him for life. You can just imagine her reaction when I went to home schooling. If she dares bring up the S word, I just say "he can socialize with the shoes while he is locked in the closet." She makes a face because she knows I just shut down the conversation. I rarely see her or deal with her. You just need to ex these people and their conversations when they start. And limit their time with the kids, especially time alone. And do NOT allow them to come in and "inspect" your home school or observe. For us, schooling usually stops when company comes by. And if I felt the person who is there were trying to "evaluate" me or criticize, I would stop the schooling while people are there. My children would be instructed to not discuss their schooling at all with anyone, especially the grandparents and such, anyone who wants to criticize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Our families used to be negative about hsing too. The only thing that made the comments stop was to have a senior, having her take dual credits at the local college (and excelling), and having her accepted into her college of choice with a nice academic scholarship. That may be very far away for you, but be prepared to get flack for years. Until the people (that don't agree with homeschooling) see that homeschooling can work, and work very well, they will always have their opinions. I am finally enjoying silence in regards to our homeschooling....but it took way too long!!! Press on & do it the way you and your husband see is best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 You know, I don't know if it's the number of years I've been homeschooling, or just my advancing age, but I no longer give a rip about what anyone else thinks of homeschooling. Or of my ability to homeschool, or my right to homeschool, or that xyz habits are from homeschooling, or whatever. A big fat MEH. I used to care. Then I realized that was a huge drain on my energy, just like worrying about anything else that folks think they have a right to comment on in my life. Now we just treat the Negative Nellies like we would were they being negative about any other aspect of our lives: "Hmmm. Interesting perspective," or just, "Hmmm," with a polite half smile. (You know the one, the one you give when someone is being slightly socially inappropriate and you're just waiting for them to stop talking.) "Nope, we're not interested in (whatever asinine idea they propose we do instead)." "We're satisfied with the way things are going. Thanks for your concern." "We just loooooooove homeschooling. It's the best because (blab blab blab on and on and on about the AMAZING things we're doing until their eyes glaze over and they never never never want to ask again)." I'm really a very nice person. I only used those with a couple boundary violators who couldn't live and let live. I actually haven't had to say any of those for a few years, pretty much since I stopped trying to justify and defend. Those kinds of responses put a stop to the constant badgering. Most people are just curious, and I certainly don't mind answering questions and even concerns. :) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Stop discussing it with them entirely. When someone brings it up, smile enthusiastically and tell them you've found your groove and all is well. Then change the subject (we call it "pass the bean dip" on this board). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I learned this in recovery for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, but it seems to apply to a lot of other areas in life. I have the right to be "wrong" and do it anyway. I have the right not have to explain or defend myself. I have the right to change my mind, later. Your relatives are crossing boundaries. They need to respect your boundaries. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_boundaries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 My Mom also thought it was okay to come by or call anytime. Not because she disapproved, but because our family has always just popped by. I had a bit of a hard time telling her she couldn't stop by or call. But for me a schedule is important and when she came by it threw our whole day off. Finally I had to be honest and upfront and have a conversation with her, that as much as I enjoyed her company she could no longer come by during the school day. Part of being an adult is speaking our reality and not apologizing for setting boundaries. But because I do love and enjoy her, I do make a point to invite her to some of our field trips and let her know I am available if she really does need me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Good for you for not answering the door! Way to go! :hurray: That is a big hurdle to get past and I am really proud of you for sticking to your boundaries. If you want to get out of dodge, there is always the children's section of the public library. I know that at least one family here spends their day doing just that. The librarians adore then. After reading that, I think you are going to be just fine :thumbup: And don't send them any articles etc. Just let it go. Don't ask them for advice, don't try to talk it up. Don't talk about it. I know it will be difficult at first, but get yourself a glass of water and sip it until the urge passes. Don't allow them to quiz your kids. If they do that have a few questions of your own to throw at them, because it is only fair after all. I like: what were the years of the US Civil war?, where is the Cradle of Civilization, what year was the Magna Carta signed and why it it important, what is the definition of an adverb, can you recite the state of being verbs, what is an iamb, what are Newton's Laws of Motion, what are the Noble Gasses, and why do we have seasons. Those are generally enough to get my kids giggling at most adults. And FTR, my fourth grader can answer all of those. And, really, what is the WORST thing that could happen? Let's say you try homeschooling for two or three years and discover it isn't for your family. Do you know what is going to happen? You will put them in public school at their grade level and go on with your lives. That is it. I have seen it many times. I have had quite a few friends homeschool for a couple years and then put their kids in school. Their kids were FINE!!! My oldest son transitioned from homeschool to high school this year. It was fine. Totally fine. Yes, he had to adjust to getting up every morning, yes he has a lot of homework, yes he doesn't know every single person..... No big deal. He was put into all honours courses, he is learning to do his homework and he is doing a better job adjusting socially than any of his friends who attended public school. He doesn't stand out in any way, except his writing is waaaaay better than his peers thanks to SWB and he was put into 10th grade math. But really, it wasn't a bigger transition for him (or us) that it has been for all the other 8th graders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 This is probably something that just cannot be discussed with your relatives. I agree with all the posters who suggested changing the conversation when they bring it up, and don't bring it up to them or ask their input at all! I have relatives with CRAZY political beliefs. I have had to learn not to engage with them at all. When people have beliefs that are not based on facts or actual experiences those beliefs cannot be changed by presenting facts. Those beliefs are religious, and you know how hard it is to get someone to change their religion, lol. You would not want to reason with a member of the Taliban who was about to take your head off, so you would not want to reason with someone who is determined to find fault with something they really don't understand and don't want to understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 mamavee, Don't ever corner yourself into believing you need to prove something to your family or to other people. Unfortunately, some people won't ever change their attitudes even with "proof." 21 yrs later with homeschool grads who are successful--chemE, highly paid OTA, and a college student attending on 100% full scholarship----I still have several family members that think homeschooling is an abomination and should be outlawed. At the very heart of it, their views on homeschooling are not based on academics at all. Time has proved that. I just pass the bean dip and keep on keepin' on. My kids shine, both in character and academics! :) And that is all that really matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slojo Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Our families used to be negative about hsing too. The only thing that made the comments stop was to have a senior, having her take dual credits at the local college (and excelling), and having her accepted into her college of choice with a nice academic scholarship. That may be very far away for you, but be prepared to get flack for years. Until the people (that don't agree with homeschooling) see that homeschooling can work, and work very well, they will always have their opinions. I am finally enjoying silence in regards to our homeschooling....but it took way too long!!! Press on & do it the way you and your husband see is best. Well, at least you didn't say, "The only thing that made the comments stop was having a kid who is the only four-star general who won the Nobel Prize for Physics and a Grammy Award in the same year, and then there was that Poet Laureate thing the year before, but that's such a political contest anyway, so they didn't count that... But, my parents are still a little concerned about whether he's really gotten enough socialization, though." Senior year? Now there's some light at the end of a tunnel! ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daijobu Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I want to have Thanksgiving at YOUR house. LOL! Have you ever heard the phrase "pass the bean dip"? In a nutshell it means "change the subject and don't engage". As in... Mom: Aren't you worried that your kid will be so ignorant, you should send him back to school, and...! You: No, I'm not. Wow, Mom, this bean dip is delish, what did you put in it? Here, pass me some more, would you? Unless these other people are primary caregivers or share custody with you, it's none of their business. They don't need to approve. If you let them start talking about it, you're sending the message that the matter is up for discussion. And if it's not, it's not. Don't let them even get started. Just like dealing with toddlers, as soon as they open their mouths, redirect, redirect, redirect. Auntie Em: He's not learning enough! You... You: He's progressing just fine, thanks for asking :) But what I wanted to talk about was your hip. How are you doing? What did the doctor say? Do you need me to bring over some meals, or can you handle that? It doesn't really matter what you say, it can be completely nonsensical, so long as you change the subject. I promise you, even stupid or stubborn individuals eventually get the hint. Uncle Steve: It just seems like so much work! I don't get why - You: Aw, it's sweet of you to be concerned! But we've got it under control. It's not nearly as hard as that time you and the boys went camping, remind me what happened? Just imagine that your words are like a huge force field surrounding your body, and by opening your mouth you can keep the space pirates at bay. Grandma: He's gonna be so - You: Oh, darn, I think I hear the phone, hold on... You, five minutes later: Nope, just a telemarketer. You were talking about your prizewinning begonias, how do you get them so lush? Grandma: I don't keep a garden. You: Really? You should! It's a wonderful hobby. You know, I can't believe I thought that was you. Maybe that was my neighbor.... You really should, though, all your neighbors would be jealous...! I'm jealous of Mary down the block, her garden is always so colorful, and the roses smell wonderful... *natter on for another half an hour* If they're really persistent, you might have to be direct. "Mom, listen. I know you're worried, but I don't intend to talk about it with you. Next time you bring it up, I'm hanging up the phone". And then follow through, again, just like with a toddler. If this means hanging up on your family all the time for a month, do so. If this means you drive two hours to get to Thanksgiving and you leave twenty minutes later, grab a slice of pie on your way out the door. It's strict, and it's mean, but it does do the trick. The real problem here isn't that they disagree with homeschooling. The problem is that they have no sense of appropriate boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I want to have Thanksgiving at YOUR house. LOL! I promise, if you do, I won't tell you you're a horrible parent for homeschooling. Seriously, though, the method works. It takes skill. It takes practice. It takes skill AND practice, but once you get it down - it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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