finish this sentence: dc stopped disliking & started enjoying homeschooling when we...

[mel13]

Wondering if anyone's HS experience became more positive after changing things around and what you did that improved things from your child's point of view. I get disappointed that my 1st grader is already so down on doing "schoolwork." I don't strive to make homeschool very school-like, but some things like handwriting and learning math facts simply have to be done. I don't know if it's a curriculum thing or that I don't know how to motivate my child- or is every kid this way and drags their feet at the idea of another day of school?

 

My child hasn't been in a traditional school setting, so she has no idea how good she has it.  I already incorporate visits to museums, library, and any other special outings I can find. So I think there's decent balance as far as work and "fun". Or does this sound like just an attitude problem?

[CardinalAlt]

- reduced the school-y, mama-led load, made more time for projects, free art, free reading

- reduced the writing load, added in more partner writing, dictation

- planned for some out of the house things most days - she's very social

 

She still doesn't jump up and down about xtramath or spelling, but she knows it has a purpose, she's improving and it's just one part of the day :)

[EKS]

I have changed things up *many* times since we started homeschooling.  Whenever I feel I need to change something, I try to really analyze what the actual triggers are.  Is the problem only with certain subjects?  Certain activities?  Is there too much writing?  Is it coming at the wrong time of day?  

 

When my son was in 1st grade one thing that helped was that I made cards with each activity we needed to to during the day on them.  Then we took turns picking an activity.  This gave my son, who had control issues, the feeling that he had some say in what was going on.  

[RootAnn]

I'm not sure about "enjoying" homeschooling because of the "school" part, but dd#1 appreciates it now due to getting older, maturing, and realizing the education and education opportunities she has compared to the others of her age in our small town.

 

I hope the others eventually follow suit. While my work-load philosophy changes periodically, it hasn't been drastic. Unless I went completely & totally no-schooling, but still allowed for time-with-friends and art lessons, dd#2 isn't likely to enjoy homeschooling. Ditto something similar for dd#3. Ds#1 likes the school we do because he wants to learn. He's my interest-led kid, but understands we have to do some reading and handwriting every day. He likes math at this point and joins us for some of our other subjects (like history or science labs) as he is interested.

[freesia]

My third born stopped disliking school and started tolerating school (not complaining endlessly, crying, etc.) when I:

--made a deliberate choice to stop caring if he enjoyed school or not (detached myself emotionally from the situation)

--started calmly placing any teacher directed material in a pile to be done during screen time if he complained.

--started sending him to his room to work if he complained in the room I was in.

--made more of his work independent (which he actually seem to like bc he felt big like his older brother and sister). I then planned things I would have done with him (science books, activities) for his little sister and told him they were optional. He started choosing to join, but stopped complaining.

--had him tested to make sure he didn't have an LD I was overlooking (he is mildly dyslexic and dysgraphic, but I was already accommodating that)

--realized he is a slower processor than I am and that I was moving way too fast for him sometimes. He would panic at anything new and then only hear, "Blah, blah, blah".

 

 

I have no idea whether it was one of the above or the combination or he just grew up. Mostly, I think, breaking the habit of complaining coupled with my stopping trying so hard or caring so much was the key. Since I love to learn and had been a teacher who made school fun for so many kids, it was devastating to me to have a child who just didn't like it no matter how hard I tried. Dh was awesome. He kept saying, "He doesn't have to like school. Of course he wants to just play. I was just like that as a boy." (Dh is now getting a doctorate and loves to learn). I thought homeschooling would make is to that my kids loved school bc we would learn together and I'd make it so fun. Sometimes we aren't in control.

 

Of course, if you never do anything fun and she's spending 5 hours a day doing workbooks, you might need to lighten up. But that doesn't sound like the problem.

 

(Oh, and he'd never say he *liked* school now, but he did smile and say, "You know, school isn't completely horrible anymore.")And he does now share things he reads about in school with excitement in his voice and has told me how much he loved a few of his readers this year. And he does the work he used to sob over with hardly a complaint.

[weintz8]

My dd started liking school more when I started doing it with her.  I assumed she was like me and wanted to be independent.  Well it turns out she not and loves homeschooling because she gets to spend time with me (!!!!), so she hated it when she was doing most things on her own.  Now we do a lot of talking about subjects and what she is learning and she loves it.

 

My ds on the other hand, can't stand anything that has to be taught to him and wants to self learn EVERYTHING.

 

 

[Rebecca in KY]

...took the time to research learning styles, curriculum options, and homeschooling approaches, then tailored DS's education around that. Specifically, DS wants to do school and get it done. Projects and crafts are anathema to him because they "waste" his free time. But he also loves listening to read-alouds of all kinds. So for 2nd grade, I ditched everything we did the previous year and purchased materials for each subject based on what I knew about his strengths and weaknesses. He would still rather play than do anything school-related, but he now does his work with a neutral or positive attitude 95% of the time. Last year, he had a negative attitude at least 50% of the time. What a huge change!

[MiMi 4under3]

...when I agreed with DD13's requests:

 

"You can't yell at me. And don't be so serious. I want it to be fun, you know!"

 

"I just want to read my books at night, so I can't do any 'homework.'"

 

"You have to give me lots of breaks if you want me to be cooped up in the house with all this MATH!"

 

 

I said "Fine!" (through gritted teeth). :glare:

 

She's (usually) happy now....

[OneStepAtATime]

For DD....

 

...when I stopped trying to force DD to do History the way DS was learning history.

 

...when DD was able to pick her own topics for study (besides the core and remediation materials)

 

...when we switched to CLE math for DD.

 

...when DD joined multiple clubs/organizations.

 

...when I started doing piano lessons with her.

 

...when I started budgeting time every single day for just the two of us, and allowed her to lead whatever conversations she chooses to have with me.

 

...when I started truly respecting that she is an individual, with a different view of the world from me, and for this to work we have to both respect each other.

 

...when I started focusing on the things she does right instead of the things she does wrong.

 

DS?  ...when I let him listen to books all day long or let him study history all day long or he knows friends are coming over and has to get through everything.  Add in anything else and I am not very popular.   I guess you could say he's a work in progress.  :)

[EndOfOrdinary]

When I asked Ds what he wanted and really listened to him (he was four or five at the time). When I realized it was not my school and my learning style but his and let go of a lot that was really me wanting to make our homeschool what I wanted. When I started thinking like a kid and realizing this was the only time my child was going to be young. When I understood that it really could be darn near everything silly and fun if I was willing to try. In Example:

 

Spelling can be done by writing words with your finger in colored sand, on a ziplock filled with hair gel, on sugar cookie dough, on the sidewalk with chalk, in the snow, on a whiteboard (still do not get why it is fun, but so many kids love it), with scrabble tiles...

 

Handwriting can be done with fun quill pens, with "magic wands" you decorate and write in the air, with fancy markers or 96 colors of colored pencils, in the bathtub with water markers, on a cake with frosting, on sugar cookies with egg paint....

 

Math facts are great with a whiteboard, with playing card games of War, with grapes, with dice duels, with giant number lines you have to walk on, with hopscotch, with jumping rope, on a trampoline....

 

I am always amazed at people who say that school cannot, or should not, be fun. You get to be under nine years old for only the tiniest bit. Why not make crazy awesome and fun memories with your kids as long as they are learning? So it is a magic wand or a quill pen instead of tracing worksheets, the goal is to get the kid practicing handwriting. Why does it matter how? People are very willing to do craft projects for history, why not Spelling? Let go of seat work that looks schoolish and your daughter might just totally enjoy school.

 

My son is now a highly self directed kid with six plus hours of schoolwork he chooses. There is still a lot of fun, but now it is with textbooks, YouTube lectures, and discussions. He loved being a young kid, but equally loves really studying now.

[Guest gbvv]

... switching to R&S math from Saxon (for DD12 -don't ask me why, but last year she hated math, and now she asks to do more. It seems to me that it's all still math, so what difference does it make but it does. Last year she started her academic work every day with math and it ruined the rest of the day (and year) for her.  Now she enjoys it, and all the rest of her school work is going better also.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I've got quite a few things I could add but not a lot of time so I'll sum it up by saying that things here were more enjoyable when I stopped being so uptight about sticking with a classical method for everyone...I was trying to give them the education I wish I'd had, not the education they needed. 

 

I'll add one more thing real quick.  I relaxed....I mean really relaxed.  My goals are now LONG term...what do they need to be able to do or know by then end of elementary, the end of middle, and the end of highschool - never by the end of the year.

 

:)  

[Milknhoney]

When I finally admitted that I can't do everything. And it doesn't have to be now. And that curriculum is a tool for me, not our slavemaster!

 

Several changes in particular that really helped:

-When I realized it was the curriculum that was making math so hard and switched from Miquon to Singapore

-When I quit picking out which books he should read. Now I check out everything off the recommendation lists and let him go through and choose what his books for the week will be

 

[lea1]

Loving this thread!

 

Here it was when I gave in and allowed my two sons to try the local elementary school (which actually is a very good school).  It only took one week and both sons and their parents found a new appreciation for homeschooling.  They are so glad they got to see what it was like but they are now so glad they are homeschooled and they have so much more appreciation for what I do.  They are also happier and more cooperative about doing their school work.

[Korrale]

Started using a timer.

 

For a bit my son was dilly dallying and having trouble focusing on his work. So I started setting a timer for 5 minutes a page. He loves to race the clock. When he is finished the page he has free time, so run in circles for the sake of it. Then back to his seat when the timer goes off. Oh and if beats the time he gets a chockie. Which is just a piece of cereal.

I use my phone for the timer and really I cheat sometimes. If I see he is working hard and he just isn't going to beat the clock I will pause it or add a minute without him knowing. If I he isn't focusing I will let the time run out and he doesn't get that chockie.

[mel13]

Thanks, everyone. I've found many helpful suggestions here to try out. It's my 2nd year doing this and I love hearing from those who have done this longer and have better perspective than I have at this point. I appreciate the ideas!

[OneStepAtATime]

Thanks, everyone. I've found many helpful suggestions here to try out. It's my 2nd year doing this and I love hearing from those who have done this longer and have better perspective than I have at this point. I appreciate the ideas!

Thanks, mel13, for starting this thread.  I love it, too!  :)

[MotherOfBoys]

when I got Beast for math and Song School Latin. These are fun things that he doesn't even consider school. These changed the tone of our school day from school-at-home to homeschool.

 

also when his little brother just started to sit for some phonics school the older son seemed happier.

[...................]

Oldest ds: When I got out of his way, and always made things very clear and consistent.  It's all about getting back to his real life for him. 

 

Younger dd:  The more happy and involved I am, the happier she is. If I am cheerful and smiley and we are doing spelling, she is usually cheerful and smiley.  If I am miserable and half awake and bored and snippy, she will be miserable.  It's all about relationship and love for her.

[Reefgazer]

I need to do this.  I am so darned concerned with remediating her every weakness, I think I come across as being unappreciative of her real and abundant talent in other things.

For DD....

 

...when I stopped trying to force DD to do History the way DS was learning history.

 

...when DD was able to pick her own topics for study (besides the core and remediation materials)

 

...when we switched to CLE math for DD.

 

...when DD joined multiple clubs/organizations.

 

...when I started doing piano lessons with her.

 

...when I started budgeting time every single day for just the two of us, and allowed her to lead whatever conversations she chooses to have with me.

 

...when I started truly respecting that she is an individual, with a different view of the world from me, and for this to work we have to both respect each other.

 

...when I started focusing on the things she does right instead of the things she does wrong.

 

DS?  ...when I let him listen to books all day long or let him study history all day long or he knows friends are coming over and has to get through everything.  Add in anything else and I am not very popular.   I guess you could say he's a work in progress.   :)

 

[OneStepAtATime]

I need to do this.  I am so darned concerned with remediating her every weakness, I think I come across as being unappreciative of her real and abundant talent in other things.

I totally understand.  I found it an easy trap to fall into.  In fact, this was probably my biggest mistake our first year away from brick and mortar.  I was so worried about remediation I failed to really focus on their talents, strengths, abilities, aspirations, etc.  It was unhealthy.