Intro....ADHD and exhaustion

[In2why]

Hi everyone.  I have been lurking for quite a while and learning a lot.  My son is 11 and we have known for quite a while that he has Adhd, mainly inattentive it seemed because he is also very shy until he gets comfortable.   We began homeschooling him in the middle of his 1st grade year because he was falling behind in reading and the teacher was preparing us for retention.  Instead we brought him home and by working with him one on one his reading improved.  He is on level.  Not ahead of level and I am sometimes envious if I compare what some of the kids on the other boards are doing, but I have had to let that go and celebrate his progress and strengths. 

Home schooling has went well overall, but of course we made the common mistakes and continue to make some of them, but this year the Adhd is no longer something we can accommodate just with more one on one time and understanding the distraction and need to move.  We are looking into medication for the first time ever.  Basically because he knows something is different about him and it is making him miserable. 

 

We also have older children, and one has Adhd and we learned quite a bit about it when he was younger.  But so much has changed as well.  For one the only medication prescribed regularly was Ritalin.  Well, the one and only time that we tried that with our youngest son was about 3 years ago and it was a short duration dose that lasted 4 hours.  When he came off of it his reaction was horrifying.  He went on a crying jag as I held him until he feel asleep.  At that point I was strongly anti-medicine and never gave him another dose.   I am afraid to try again.  Yet, now that my son is getting older he realizes that he can't pay attention.  He realizes that he is falling behind, and he wants to stop being explosive and hyper.  He is hardly ever disobedient, and most of our conflicts are based on him not listening, hearing, or his impulsiveness. 

 

He is just like the energizer bunny on steroids most of the time.  He can NOT stop moving.  He can NOT stop singing, humming, or talking.  He can not read a page without stopping in the middle of the sentence to tell me something, anything that enters his thought process.  Luckily he is very bright or I don't think he could be on level in all of his subjects except writing.  Even math is getting harder because now he is doing multi-step fraction conversions with simplifying, and improper fractions and if he loses focus in the middle of the problem he needs to start over from the beginning.  So far the accommodations we make are mostly common sense.  We make his work area as free of distractions as possible.  We allow him to stand at the table instead of sit, he can bounce on an exercise ball, or read while hanging upside down on the couch.   We give him breaks, and try to keep busy work to a minimum.  We are using CLE math and other than the new learning in the lesson he does every other problem instead of every problem and fact review we do orally or on the computer instead of written. If we hit a complete wall, we have other materials which present things differently and use different approaches so that he can grasp the concept.  I of course make sure he is looking at me and I only give him one part directions unless they are written. 

 

Another problem is his impulsiveness.  He is very athletic and is a dare devil.  He craves the adrenaline/stimulation.  No roller coaster is too much, no ramp to jump with his bike or skateboard is too high, no tree in the neighborhood is too big to climb.  So we make sure he is wearing safety equipment and as safe as possible, but accidents still happen and I worry he is going to kill himself or cause serious harm.  He has broken his arm walking on the top of the monkey bars.  He saw Parkour (sp) and decided to do that in the yard, with the fences and vehicles, rolling off our pickup truck and onto the car falling through the back window glass.  Luckily he wasn't serious hurt but he was scared that his father was going to kill him.  (not literally.  His Dad put him to work on some family property to help pay it off) 

 

I have described the worst and most concerning.  I am sure those of you that know these kids know that this is the AdHd part, but not the whole child.  He is loving and kind, he adores animals and small children and they adore him.  When he is around strangers he is quiet and shy and seems to hold it all in until he gets back to his safe zone and people.  Instead at school before and now co-op he will sit and his mind is wandering everywhere and he never causes problems, but he doesn't really learn much because he misses the instruction and/or is too shy to ask questions or contribute.  His teachers and other adults think he is the most well behaved child ever and just don't understand why he isn't learning.  Then when he gets to know them and the situation, they are shocked because a switch goes off and he is unable to contain his energy anymore.   For a long time I couldn't get anyone to see that he had the hyperactive part of the AdHd equation and thought they must just think I am a bad parent.  Now there is no mistaking it, or second guessing it.  Funny enough our doctor didn't think it was possible until her son and mine became great friends and she started seeing him in his "natural" state at her home instead of just in the office for short periods of time.

 

So anyway.....I have been reading quite a bit.  I had never heard of EF until these message boards.  We just kind of lucked into teaching many of those things to our older son during his teen years without having a structure or name to call it.  I have ordered and just got the book "Right Brained children in a Left Brained world"  as well as "Putting on the Brakes" a workbook for our son.  I am making lists of more things we can do with him, and looking into medication.  We took the Vanderbilt questionnaires.  My husband, I, and our older daughter who spends a lot of time with him.  As well as 2 of his Co-op teachers.  We are taking them with us to his medical appointment and I also found the Pittsburgh scale of side effects to evaluate his medication.  I am not sure yet whether we will do a complete NP evaluation yet or not.  So far he isn't presenting as anything but AdHd inattentive and Hyperactive, and I am not sure how much more information that at NP eval would give us that we can't find on our own with the Doctor.?   There is also the matter of cost.  The Evaluation is not covered under our insurance since he isn't presenting with any issues other than Adhd.  I also worry about being able to find someone supportive of Homeschooling. 

The curricula we are using;

 

CLE Math.  We needed the black and white low distraction pages with spiral learning.  He is doing well with it.  We also use the Key to Series when he needs more  teaching in certain areas.

 

Reading Comprehension w/High frequency phrases and Beginning reasoning and Reading (a logic reading program)  We also have a reading list that he reads independently and read alouds.

 

Writing tales.  This is not working so we are switching to Treasured Conversations.   His handwriting is fine, and he can type really well.  He hates cursive so the only thing he writes in cursive is copywork so that he can keep the skill.

 

Science, Geography, and Art-----He takes these classes in a weekly co-op and I teach his science class.  This Semester it is a Time to Invent class where the kids learn Physics hands on through hands on inventing.  Geography is US Geography.   We are not learning history since we decided on Geography instead and we had already done the 4 year cycle.

 

Most of the seat work we do is language arts, and math.  We use lots of different materials for it and add in extras.  We also go to museums and take field trips all the time for hands on learning.  He volunteers at the Animal shelter every Friday and he bathes, cleans, and socializes the animals.

 

We also waste a lot of time with the seat work, at times and that can be frustrating.  Some days he can fly through our planned work and other times he dawdles and drags.  I don't know when it is the Adhd and when it is I don't want to do this because it requires effort.  I have a really hard time with that.  I am thinking about whether check lists of the work that must be done would be a good idea and put the ball more in his court.  I think I have been approaching it wrong by pulling our more work when he is focused and less when he is not?   If he knows that there isn't really an incentive to focus and finish, in fact it just means more work. 

 

So if you have read this far.....thank you.  I am not even sure of the right questions to even ask.  If you see anything that looks familiar and have an idea to share wonderful.  If you see any red flags please let me know.  Also any other suggestions or ideas.

[SandyKC]

I did use daily checklists with my guys when they were in high school.  The day was done when their work was all checked off. Some days took a few hours and some days took allllll daaaaayyyy loooong, but it was at their pace for the day, whatever it happened to be.  If they didn't get their work done M-F, then they had to work on the weekend.

 

I do think putting them in charge of their own learning made them more efficient with their school days over time.  It has really served my boys well in college because they KNOW they have to get their work done and no one is going to be telling them what to do when.  I think using the checklist approach throughout high school and teaching my boys how to schedule out the work in their college syllabus' as daily items has helped them tremendously.