Anyone else confused after their neuropsych eval results?

[displace]

Is it normal to feel so confused after the neuropsych eval?  I feel confused emotionally (should I be glad there's something to explain what's happening?) and intellectually (what test was what and what what?).  The appointment boiled down to an hour discussion of mostly normal results, discussion of some abnormalities, and my 3 sentence conclusion I got confirmation of for diagnosis purposes (sort of).  I took notes and have the test scores so at least I can refer to it later, as well as DH. 

 

I think a lot is our specific situation (2e-ish) along with my adrenaline so high.  Basically she said as well that DS is gifted, with such compensations that she thinks it's dyslexia even if the testing is confusing, and to treat it as dyslexia, and by the definition of not reading at his expected level for IQ it IS dyslexia but probably no school will remediate him and accommodation may be difficult I think.  It may be dysgraphia and/or dyspraxia but that has to be diagnosed by the developmental pediatrician (?). 

 

Well, fine.  I don't necessarily need an absolute label (though I'd really really like one).  But if she's saying to treat it like dyslexia and treat it like dysgraphia and treat it like dyspraxia, that's good enough.  Part of the good enough club for now.  At least I have a starting point of what we can do to stop the insanity and prevent problems.  She said if we start early with the remediation we'll likely prevent any severe problems, which I am glad to hear. 

 

I did get a HSing win!  You may know my story that I originally asked about HSing during the pre-consult and she said she doesn't recommend it because of "socialization".  Today she spontaneously said she felt she may recommend it in our case.  So, yeah?  I wasn't even going to ask about school as what I need are recommendations, but since she said that and it was a positive for our case, I'm glad?  She was also very upset for us and the whole gifted accommodation problem, but that's another story.  I'm glad she was supportive of that.  She also mentioned how inappropriate developmentally the school requirements are as well, so that's another thing that I was saying that supports my thoughts.

 

This whole post seems strange I guess but I thought I'd share with my virtual "friends" as you have all been so supportive, insightful, and generous over time for me and I'm really glad.  And if we start HSing I know I'll ask your advice even more.  :)

 

Another positive: I ran into the teacher today outside the class and she asked if we're planning on HSing (DS has been saying we will in school I guess even though I've said we're just talking about it, etc).  I was like a deer in headlights and I said that if it is dyslexia, I just can't see how the PS will be able to remediate him, as well as dysgraphia, and we do so much homework every night that it's just not appropriate.  She said she's known a few people who have HSed in instances similar to ours and she felt that it would be the Best Thing if we were able to do it.  I mentioned how the AR reading program can sometimes lead to guessing in kids with dyslexia and the program isn't recommended for them.  And she can't remediate dysgraphia and said she wasn't sure what else she could do either.  So the teacher conference is tomorrow and DH is going and I really pray she'll be able to also help advocate for DS's education in the best place.  If she can help communicate the impracticalities of treating this at school it would be a blessing. 

 

Sorry for the long post.  I think I need to go eat some chocolate now. 

 

ETA: now I can focus on: is HSing the best thing to do, followed by: can I do it?  :ohmy:

[Lecka]

I think teachers have their job to do, and they can't really go around saying "well, can't help your kid, homeschool would be better" all the time.  It is not appropriate to their jobs.  I have even heard they can get in trouble, if a parent goes and says the teacher said their child wasn't getting appropriate remediation through school.  I don't really know.  But maybe don't expect her to say that school is bad ----- but maybe she can say things that are good about homeschooling for the situation.

 

I think in a couple of days -- you might come to think it was an okay eval result.  It always takes about a week for me to figure out what has really happened.  I am in a daze for a week post-IEP, especially if there are any surprises.  

 

I think to make your case to others ---- the problem with the gifted opportunities.  Maybe your family would take it better if you went from the angle of "not a good gifted fit" instead of a "not remediating dyslexia" angle.  I don't know.  I can see my family being like that, though.

 

Good luck, though.  I hope you guys can get on the same page :)  It also sounds like your son is eager to begin homeschooling!  Maybe that would help out with making the decision.  If he is saying he learns better with you than at school -- that is some good evidence to me.  

 

Edit:  I do think you can do it.  I have to admit -- I am happy to only have really done remediating reading, and had my son learning math in school, and learning other things like science and social studies at school.  But ---- I also think, hey, I have done reading, I am sure I could do the other things if I have to.  I think you can do it!

[displace]

I think teachers have their job to do, and they can't really go around saying "well, can't help your kid, homeschool would be better" all the time.  It is not appropriate to their jobs.  I have even heard they can get in trouble, if a parent goes and says the teacher said their child wasn't getting appropriate remediation through school.  I don't really know.  But maybe don't expect her to say that school is bad ----- but maybe she can say things that are good about homeschooling for the situation.

 

I think in a couple of days -- you might come to think it was an okay eval result.  It always takes about a week for me to figure out what has really happened.  I am in a daze for a week post-IEP, especially if there are any surprises.  

 

I think to make your case to others ---- the problem with the gifted opportunities.  Maybe your family would take it better if you went from the angle of "not a good gifted fit" instead of a "not remediating dyslexia" angle.  I don't know.  I can see my family being like that, though.

 

Good luck, though.  I hope you guys can get on the same page :)  It also sounds like your son is eager to begin homeschooling!  Maybe that would help out with making the decision.  If he is saying he learns better with you than at school -- that is some good evidence to me.  

 

Edit:  I do think you can do it.  I have to admit -- I am happy to only have really done remediating reading, and had my son learning math in school, and learning other things like science and social studies at school.  But ---- I also think, hey, I have done reading, I am sure I could do the other things if I have to.  I think you can do it!

 

I see what you're saying about the teacher's response.  Since she was so forward with me I think she'll state her opinions as strongly as possible without being controversial. 

 

Good point about the giftedness.  I think I should emphasize it more too.  DS said he wants to HS.  I don't think he really understands what it means.  I think he thinks he'll be playing all day long at home.  I may have painted a somewhat rosy picture regarding less or no homework and having time to do extracurriculars.  But I have also been saying we'd have to work hard every day and he wouldn't see his friends at school.  At least most of his friends are in his scouts group though so I think that would be ok. 

 

Thanks for the encouragement.  At the beginning of all this research into dyslexia and 2e I thought HSing would be easy.  After a bit I adjusted my thought to probably it's going to be hard for me but better for DS in general.  Now I'm worried if it will be good or okay for all involved and it looks like it may be pretty expensive on top of it.  If I were just remediating reading and DS liked PS I'd fight for accommodations in gifted class and do what it took for afterschooling, and pray this was a limited catching up scenario.  But we also have regular homework, writing, OT stuff in the future, plus I'd still have to worry about his receiving spelling soon, typing, and accommodations.  All together it's pretty overwhelming from an afterschool scenario, and still a lot of work HSing I think too, but more possible.  I guess if we start we can just try it and see if we like it.  :)

 

[OneStepAtATime]

Exactly.  Just start slow, add as you go, take time to regroup when a day isn't going so well, etc.  

[Heathermomster]

Welcome to my groove...When your child scores 98% or above on the WISC-IV and than scores in the bottom 2-5% of his peer group, I promise you that your child has dyslexia and dysgraphia.  My last NP did not get it either but our first testers did.  

 

Please consider taking care of an OT eval now.  That is my chiefest regret.  

 

 

[FairProspects]

Yes, very normal to feel confused. My head is always swimming after an eval. One time I tried to take a family vacation right after we got results, and I spent the whole time in the hotel room researching!

 

The answers just give you more questions at the beginning. I've found that it is best to just make one adjustment at a time. After that is working well you can add another change or adjustment, then another, etc.

[OneStepAtATime]

Welcome to my groove...When your child scores 98% or above on the WISC-IV and than scores in the bottom 2-5% of his peer group, I promise you that your child has dyslexia and dysgraphia.  My last NP did not get it either but our first testers did.  

 

Please consider taking care of an OT eval now.  That is my chiefest regret.  

:iagree:

 

Yes, very normal to feel confused. My head is always swimming after an eval. One time I tried to take a family vacation right after we got results, and I spent the whole time in the hotel room researching!

 

The answers just give you more questions at the beginning. I've found that it is best to just make one adjustment at a time. After that is working well you can add another change or adjustment, then another, etc.

:iagree:

[PeterPan]

Why are you having a teacher meeting if you've decided to pull him out?  Why are you asking her to tell you want to do and be some kind of litmus test when it's really YOUR decision?

 

Obviously you have reasons, I'm just saying at some point YOU as the parents make the decisions and YOU as the parents own it.

 

And yes it's hard.

 

Childbirth was hard, but RAISING them is way harder.  I guess you could sell the ones that get too annoying and keep the easy ones.   :smilielol5: 

 

I have NO DOUBT you can do this.  I'd be worried if you were acting like this was some blithe walk in the park, buy X software, everything goes away.  You have a healthy respect and fear of the task, and that's appropriate.  But you can do it.  Plow forward and don't be afraid.   :)

 

 

[displace]

Welcome to my groove...When your child scores 98% or above on the WISC-IV and than scores in the bottom 2-5% of his peer group, I promise you that your child has dyslexia and dysgraphia.  My last NP did not get it either but our first testers did.  

 

Please consider taking care of an OT eval now.  That is my chiefest regret.  

 

OT is pending.  Next week I think?  I had one last year but after the ed psych said it's not dysgraphia we just did PT over the summer with handwriting.  So now it's OT time!  Plus we're still waiting on COVD appointment, SLP, and possibly audiologist, and a formal hearing screen.

[displace]

Why are you having a teacher meeting if you've decided to pull him out?  Why are you asking her to tell you want to do and be some kind of litmus test when it's really YOUR decision?

 

Obviously you have reasons, I'm just saying at some point YOU as the parents make the decisions and YOU as the parents own it.

 

And yes it's hard.

 

Childbirth was hard, but RAISING them is way harder.  I guess you could sell the ones that get too annoying and keep the easy ones.   :smilielol5: 

 

I have NO DOUBT you can do this.  I'd be worried if you were acting like this was some blithe walk in the park, buy X software, everything goes away.  You have a healthy respect and fear of the task, and that's appropriate.  But you can do it.  Plow forward and don't be afraid.   :)

 

Good questions.  FTR the teacher conference was scheduled a month ago, DH and I still need to discuss results together and decide what to do.  I respect and value DH's opinions and concerns regarding HSing as they are quite valid and I think most families switching from PS to HSing may have similar feelings and then start their own path toward their decisions.  I have done a lot of research and looking into 2e, dyslexia, and PS over the last bit and have come to my own conclusions about abilities for remediation at a (generic) PS.  DH is not there yet as we initially agreed to wait for testing to make any decisions.  I was impatient and couldn't wait for testing so I've been a busy bee with thinking about this or that scenario.  So now I'm ready to decide and I got ahead of us as a family unit. 

 

Thanks for the encouragement!

 

ETA -- I must say I'm kind-of mentally checked out from PS.  DS and I have been taking an extended break from afterschooling remediation and it's already been 1.5 weeks.  A lifetime for us!  We've only been doing the bare minimum with homework assignments and once in this break I did some AAR.  The break started because we both needed a break honestly.  Then we've had multiple doctor visits, testing, consults, waiting for results, etc.  And I have been feeling that until/unless something changes I'm just wanting to wait because it may be we don't have to do that anymore.  This could count a little toward our stepping down from all this craziness.

 

[PeterPan]

Maybe you can cancel the teacher meeting and talk as a family about your new results to sort it out?  What's the withdrawal and homeschooling law in your state?  Obviously you want to comply or know what it would take to comply.

 

Don't take off too long.  He could forget a lot during an extended break, sigh.  Won't be pretty.

[Storygirl]

I don't have time to read all the responses yet (though I will come back and do so later). But I just thought I'd mention that our NP diagnosed both dysgraphia and dyspraxia for our son, so I'm surprised that yours said she couldn't. It strikes me as strange that she wouldn't diagnose, and I wonder how it has been for others on the board --did any of your NP diagnose dysgraphia and dyspraxia? Did any of them say that it was not their place? Why wouldn't it be?

[OneStepAtATime]

I don't have time to read all the responses yet (though I will come back and do so later). But I just thought I'd mention that our NP diagnosed both dysgraphia and dyspraxia for our son, so I'm surprised that yours said she couldn't. It strikes me as strange that she wouldn't diagnose, and I wonder how it has been for others on the board --did any of your NP diagnose dysgraphia and dyspraxia? Did any of them say that it was not their place? Why wouldn't it be?

Well, our evaluator wasn't an np, she was a CALT specialist with a bunch of other letters next to her name :).  We are trying to get the full evals in place for this next year, though.  

 

I know friends who have recently gotten diagnoses through either the school or nps and everyone now seems really reluctant to slap a label on anything.  They seem to sort of want to be vague on purpose.  No clue whether that is just my perception or the reality but it did make me wonder why that might be.  I get it with the local school eval (different district than ours but still not that far away).  They don't want to have to provide accommodations/remediation unless the child is WAAAY behind.  And they probably aren't well trained to tweak out all the details and nuances.  But the NP?

[SandyKC]

Feeling confused and overwhelmed when you get your feedback is TOTALLY Normal! It's almost always a lot to process, almost always some of it is expected and some of it is surprising.  Take your time to let everything sink in.  

 

Will your NP be following up by sending you a comprehensive report?  If so, read through it once just to read it.  Put it down for a week, then make a copy, and read through it with a highlighter and pencil in hand.  Highlight anything that stands out to you and make notes as they occur to you.  That's always how I handle the NP reports for parents of kids I'm helping.  It's a lot to digest on behalf of each individual child no matter how many reports I've read!! 

 

Take the words spoken by your son's teacher to you in passing to heart.  If she told you they probably can't meet his needs--she means they can't meet his needs.  I've had teachers tell parents one thing and say something totally different in an IEP or eligibility meeting, then turn around and talk to the parent later one-on-one saying the original thing again.  Most teachers WANT kids to get the best help they can get, and the teachers know whether their schools have it where they need it or not.  If your DS' teacher says she thinks homeschooling would be good--then she has confidence in you as a mom-educator and knows the school will either cause delays or fail to adequately meet your DS' needs. 

 

I trained for a year in special education advocacy, and can tell you that teachers often "slip" their REAL thoughts to parents in passing, but they have to "play the game" in IEP meetings when administrators are present.  Some schools are very political when it comes to special education and IEPs.  I've learned to trust what teachers tell parents privately--I've never known one to steer a parent wrong. ;-)

[displace]

Sandy - Thanks for your insight. I'm currently reading your book and it's as if you're saying everything verbatim how I feel. I really appreciate it!

 

Yes, the teacher said a bunch of things off the record. I know it's political and I understand. I'm just grateful to hear the truth and have it expressed to us in a forward manner. She also knows of others in a similar situation here that did the same thing (HSing). We'll get a report in a few weeks but by then our biggest decision will have been made I think. As in, which science curriculum should I choose? :)

[PeterPan]

If you're actually asking about science curriculum, start with modality.  :)  What you cover is a lot less important than how you cover it. Also, he might like Popular Mechanics for Kids.  My ds has been ENRAPTURED with it lately.  You can stream the entire 3 seasons on amazon prime.  :D

[Heathermomster]

Are you looking for secular materials? Do you care about Christian content?

[FairProspects]

My science recommendation is anything you can implement hands-on. Our favorites have been GEMS guides, Supercharged Science, Disney Imagineering, and Engineering is Elementary/Engineering Adventures.

[PeterPan]

My science recommendation is anything you can implement hands-on. Our favorites have been GEMS guides, Supercharged Science, Disney Imagineering, and Engineering is Elementary/Engineering Adventures.

On the Disney Imagineering, was that the videos or was there something more?  I've been looking for more options for my ds, who has been through Popular Mechanics for Kids a TON.  

[Heathermomster]

My DD is all about animals, trade books about plants (she actually started seeds with a growth light over the summer), her brother's electricity kit, a butterfly kit, and outdoorsy stuff. I bought her a Brock Magiscope this past spring. We will be starting a solar system unit soon. All of this is supported by books and videos. She keeps her own animal journal. I print up a coloring page and she dictates facts about the animals to be printed with the coloring page. Eta: she builds Legos with her brother and builds with her Zome kit all the time.

[PeterPan]

FP, I'm back.  I googled Engineering is Elementary, and it's saying $50 for the teacher's guide for ONE UNIT!!  What am I missing?  Did you do this at the museum there and hence not have to pay for individual unit guides?  Is there another way to get them?  The IDEA seems awesome...

[Crimson Wife]

I so feel your pain about the "well, technically that score is within the normal range" result for a 2E kid. I really wish that I'd had the budget to not have to pull DS off the Eides' waiting list. It's so clear that the giftedness is allowing him to compensate for the LD's to result in a borderline-low score. The classic "head in the freezer, feet in the oven" situation, ugh!

[FairProspects]

FP, I'm back.  I googled Engineering is Elementary, and it's saying $50 for the teacher's guide for ONE UNIT!!  What am I missing?  Did you do this at the museum there and hence not have to pay for individual unit guides?  Is there another way to get them?  The IDEA seems awesome...

 

Nope, that is about right. We have a market for them used locally, so when I get a unit I'm able to resell it for at least half of what I've paid. The Engineering Adventures units can be downloaded for free and so can the Engineering Everywhere (grades 6-8) units. As for Disney Imagineering, all the DVDs contain experiments to try at home that go with the science theme too. :)

[displace]

If you're actually asking about science curriculum, start with modality. :) What you cover is a lot less important than how you cover it. Also, he might like Popular Mechanics for Kids. My ds has been ENRAPTURED with it lately. You can stream the entire 3 seasons on amazon prime. :D

Thanks for the tip. Amazon prime accidentally automatically renewed over the summer but it looks like that was a good thing.

[displace]

Are you looking for secular materials? Do you care about Christian content?

I'd highly prefer secular. If not it'd have to be super scienteriffic. I do have BFSU on a shelf I'm going to relook at. My vague impression a year or more ago when I bought it was that it needs some prep. But I didn't even really get a chance to look at it well. Superficially I liked nancy larson but feel it's expensive and I think he likely knows grade 1 already from their word list. OTOH I'm not sure I want scripted. DS is a kinesthetic learner and advanced concepts and vocab would be fine.

[displace]

My science recommendation is anything you can implement hands-on. Our favorites have been GEMS guides, Supercharged Science, Disney Imagineering, and Engineering is Elementary/Engineering Adventures.

Thanks for the recs. I haven't even heard of most of these. DS wants to be an inventor so I'll have to look more into especially the engineering stuff.

[SandyKC]

I'd highly prefer secular. If not it'd have to be super scienteriffic. I do have BFSU on a shelf I'm going to relook at. My vague impression a year or more ago when I bought it was that it needs some prep. But I didn't even really get a chance to look at it well. Superficially I liked nancy larson but feel it's expensive and I think he likely knows grade 1 already from their word list. OTOH I'm not sure I want scripted. DS is a kinesthetic learner and advanced concepts and vocab would be fine.

Since you know DS is kinesthetic, hands-on FUN! :D One year we got ourselves a couple of award-winning science project books and set out to make things in there... Potato canon = FUN! (& Funny!).  Since you'll be doing remedial work and that will be taxing on your son's brain (It WILL wear him out), having something light-hearted and not too "schooly" for science can really add an element of fun to your school day.  Check out "The Way Science Works" or "How Nature Works" from DK books for fun, work through it, project types of books.  One of our favs was catching caterpillars, guessing what type of butterfly or moth it'd become, feeding them, watching them form cocoons, and then coming out!! AWESOME FUN! :D  Anything like that you can do to build FUN into your schooling will help you when it comes to buckling down for the hard stuff. ;)

[SandyKC]

Sandy - Thanks for your insight. I'm currently reading your book and it's as if you're saying everything verbatim how I feel. I really appreciate it!

 

Yes, the teacher said a bunch of things off the record. I know it's political and I understand. I'm just grateful to hear the truth and have it expressed to us in a forward manner. She also knows of others in a similar situation here that did the same thing (HSing). We'll get a report in a few weeks but by then our biggest decision will have been made I think. As in, which science curriculum should I choose? :)

 

SOOOO MANY parents have traveled this road!! I'm thrilled you're relating to the book.. it's from my heart, although I'm not thrilled you've had to experience so many of the same things.  Just know there is so much you can do at home to make things better for your DS.

 

It's sad the school situations are political.  It's something I'd love to see changed in my lifetime, but I haven't figured out how to get the schools to be more open and how to provide the teachers in parents more insight yet.  I'm praying about and considering my mission in life from here.. I really want to make it better for the kids whose parents can't homeschool.  There has to be a better solution than what is out there right now. ;)