kateb Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Our son just turned nine and has been begging to try a brick and mortar school like his friends. We finally found a school we were comfortable with and he started third grade last month. He is a smart kid who catches on pretty quickly for the most part. We listened to the suggestions of a few friends that are teachers and decided to have him do third grade, even though we were starting fourth grade this year at home. We thought adjusting to school and learning with 30 other kids was going to be a big adjustment for our easily distracted child. He started school and was loving it, until last week. He told me he hates school and he wants to quit. He said it is boring and he isn't learning anything new. He said the dean lied when she said he was going to learn a lot of new and exciting things. He is having trouble with some of the other kids too. He is frustrated when they are not following the rules and he keeps trying to correct them and "help" them make better choices. Basically he is bossing them around and not making friends. He is also doing subpar work. His handwriting is awful and he just isn't trying. The teacher tested him in math and decided to send him into the fourth grade class for that subject. He is missing all of the LA work because math the math classes are not at the same time during the day. He is doing the LA on his own while his class does third grade math. He is frustrated and doesn't want to be in third grade anymore. I emailed the teacher with the concerns and the Dean of the school called me. She agreed with all of my sons concerns. She said he belongs in fourth grade. The teacher disagrees though. She said his testing shows grade level for third. I am guessing his inexperience with tests could be part of the problem. He has really never taken tests for anything other than math. What should I do? He is trying to finish his work as fast as he can because he thinks if he finished first then the teacher will think he should be in fourth grade. He is getting some problems wrong because he isn't reading the whole question in his haste. Silly nine year old logic of course but it makes sense to him. My concern is my son isn't trying at school. He doesn't care anymore. We are only 6 weeks in and he has given up on everything but math. So she thinks he isn't capable but I know academically he is capable of fourth grade work. We thought being older in a new classroom setting would be better for him, obviously we were very wrong. We have no experience with the school system. He is at a charter school. For those of you with experience how do I fix this? Do I pull him out and HS again? We are still HSing his little brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I think I would try him in 4th before pulling him out. I have found it takes kids a while to adjust to school if they have been homeschooled and not used to tests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateb Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 I asked the Dean of the school if moving to fourth was a possibility. She agreed that he should be in fourth from what she had observed in the classroom. The problem is the teacher doesn't agree. Whatever assessments she gave him the first few days of school showed grade average for third. She said his handwriting is horrible and his grades on LA worksheets are poor. He misses LA for fourth grade math though. He is basically doing the LA on his own with no instruction. She said his fluency was high though. I am calling the Dean back in the morning. I am just not sure what to ask for when I speak with her. Should I ask for him to take the fourth grade assessment tests? I explained to him tonight that if he wanted to be moved he would have to prove to her that he could do the work. No more sloppy work. He said he understood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I agree with trying him in 4th grade before giving up on b&m school. I also agree that it doesn't really matter what the 3rd grade teacher thinks. She does not know him well enough and she seems to be failing him so far. I'm not sure what is the best way to demonstrate that he can succeed in 4th grade LA. If you'd put him in 4th grade to begin with, you wouldn't have to prove anything, right? Is he legally old enough for 4th grade without special permission? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I also think you should specifically coach him about reading and re-reading the instructions. This was a problem for one of my kids - she would do a lot of things wrong because she misunderstood what was being asked. This would happen because she didn't follow along in class well, so she was either working ahead or behind - i.e., working independently. Without the benefit of hearing the teacher's explanation to the class, it is not surprising that your son misunderstands, but he is old enough to take responsibility for carefully reading the instructions at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1shortmomto4 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 oops - wrong board Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateb Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 He is old enough for fourth grade legally. We decided to hold him back because we live where red shirting is very common for boys and because we thought adjusting to a school setting was going to be tough for him. Thank you for all of your comments. I am going to ask for him to be moved to fourth. I just hope the a Dean hasn't been influenced by the teacher's thoughts. I think the teacher is a little anti homeschool....I was thinking I could make a folder with some of his work. That might show them what he was doing when he left homeschool? It might also help the Dean make a better decision without the test being the ruler of placement too. What do you think? Good idea or no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I would first ask that he be moved without proving anything. If you need to explain, say you made a mistake thinking it would help him to be held back, and that he already completed 3rd. If they give you a hard time, maybe ask them what their specific issue is so you can address it with objective evidence of readiness. Or demand that they test him. I think you have a right to demand that if it is public school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateb Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 Thank you for the advise. They decided to move him to fourth grade starting next week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateb Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 Thank you for the advise. They decided to move him to fourth grade starting next week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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