Jump to content

Menu

Tablet has ruined our routine


Guest mom4882
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest mom4882

My 6 year old daughter won an android tablet as the grand prize from the summer reading program at our local library.  We have no TV, computer, or other tablets in our home.  Previously, she happily spent a great deal of her free time reading, and was genuinely happy to do math, spelling, and phonics with me.  Now, she is constantly playing games on the tablet and hardly reads anymore, doesn't want to do math or anything else.  Her attitude has completely changed.  Any advice for how to handle this?  What are reasonable rules regarding her using it?  I wish I could go back in time and tell the librarian to take her name out of the grand raffle - I never expected her to win it and hadn't even thought of the consequences.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our rule: Monday to Friday no electronic at the house. He can only use computer or tablet for dictionary or educational purpose if needed. All chargers in kitchen so no tablet/phone allowed in bedroom. Computers all set up with password that child cannot guess. TV is very complicated to turn on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Similar rules, but free electronics use can be earned during the week (max 1 hour a day). After all lessons/chores and before dinner. No electronics in the 2 hours before bed.  All chargers in my room. On weekends they have a bit more time/ freedom, but reading/quiet time is still required.

 

The novelty may wear off or it may not. Time to put restrictions in place. There are apps that can restrict use (if it is an android tablet, try Kids Place in the play store).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I deleted the games on my kids tablets. They can use their tablets to do Duolingo, Khan, Coursera and EPGY with me sitting nearby.

Without games loaded, the tablet becomes just a tool rather than a game machine. I didn't delete chess apps and dragonbox apps so they can play at dentist office while waiting.

The main draw for my kids were the arcade style games.

 

My bookworm read all the free Andrew Lang fairytale books on the kindle.

 

My kids do know how to re-download the deleted apps so I am nearby when they use their tablets.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a similar problem. I did think about getting rid of it but I got it for a particular purpose and it does do that job better than anything else I have found. It is school holidays here now but when tern starts I am going to have to manage things better particularly with ds7.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I find it hard to believe the tablet is the real culprit. I think if a tablet can affect your life this much it's likely the tablet is simply revealing an underlying issue in the relationship.

 

These items are part of the landscape now. It does a disservice to kids to pretend they don't exist. There is no virtue in avoiding media and technology.

The real issues in ds7's case are that he can get a bit obsessive. At the moment he wants to watch mine craft DVDs all day. I am tired and busy and find it hard to entertain him all the time or deal with his grizzling. I just have to find the strength to push through. I have not found another way to keep him happily on the toilet for 20 minutes three times a day. Ds5 can play a game on a computer or tablet and cheerfully turn it off and find something else to do when his turn is finished. Ds7 can't.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The real issues in ds7's case are that he can get a bit obsessive. At the moment he wants to watch mine craft DVDs all day. I am tired and busy and find it hard to entertain him all the time or deal with his grizzling. I just have to find the strength to push through. I have not found another way to keep him happily on the toilet for 20 minutes three times a day. Ds5 can play a game on a computer or tablet and cheerfully turn it off and find something else to do when his turn is finished. Ds7 can't.

 

I can relate. It isn't a relationship issue or some other side issue, studies are now showing that for some people, video games actually alter brain function (and affect behavior and decision-making) in a manner like other addictions. Parents whose DC do not exhibit this truly don't understand. This isn't a discipline issue, it's more than that. We are working through that here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do not understand why you cannot just set up one hour a day when she can use it.  My son can get very obsessive.  I owned a video game arcade.  Ds' middle name is Link after the greatest video game character of all time.  I get the whole addiction thing.  We are a low technology household.  However, your child is NOT going to get away from technology.  If they have an issue with being obsessive with technology, you would do best to get a handle on that now.  The consequences are small now.  As she gets bigger, she can not only have greater consequences but she can learn to be sneaky on a seriously devious level.

 

Choose one hour a day she gets it.  If she keeps up her studying, does her chores, isn't a butthead to others, she gets one hour.  You hold the tablet, you give it to her, after one hour she hands it back.  As she gets bigger, she can earn more tablet time through positive behavior.  I have never understood why people treat this any differently than candy, TV, or the stack of other very enticing items out there for kids.  You take it all away, it becomes forbidden and a much larger temptation.

 

Taking it away after she won it would not be helpful here.  It would seem very arbitrary. She has not actually done anything wrong at this point.  If you establish a rule, get a routine going, and then she presses it or sneaks it or somehow violates the rules/routine, then you have a reason to take it away.  I realize as the adult you see a potential issue. As a six year old who trusts you, she doesn't.  She sees something she really likes, something exciting that she won, and now something you are deciding to take away for seemingly no reason.

FWIW, We digitized school this year and it has revolutionized our homescholing.  Productivity, enjoyment, engagement, learning, retention, have all gone up.  We waited till Ds was 9 to do this, so I'm not recommending it for your young student, but I do not think technology is something to take away or is bad.  It is merely a temptation that needs to be responsibly used.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have few electronics compared to most families our age/socioeconomic group.  In our house, electronics are tightly controlled, as in:  no electronics Monday-Thursday (including iPods, computer, tablet, TV) unless used for academic research, and 2 hours per day on the weekend days (no carryovers).  If they know they can't have it, after a while, they don't even ask anymore.  No child "needs" to play games on the computer to "build skills" or "participate in the 21st century", and allowing electronics for research/academic pursuits allows them to build the computer skills the need (those skills are brain-dead simple to build anyway, so a kid can pick them up quick even if they've lived like a Luddite for the first 15 years of their lives).

My 6 year old daughter won an android tablet as the grand prize from the summer reading program at our local library.  We have no TV, computer, or other tablets in our home.  Previously, she happily spent a great deal of her free time reading, and was genuinely happy to do math, spelling, and phonics with me.  Now, she is constantly playing games on the tablet and hardly reads anymore, doesn't want to do math or anything else.  Her attitude has completely changed.  Any advice for how to handle this?  What are reasonable rules regarding her using it?  I wish I could go back in time and tell the librarian to take her name out of the grand raffle - I never expected her to win it and hadn't even thought of the consequences.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Screens are terribly addicting! My kids wouldn't have them except that they got them as gifts from their father.

 

We have similar rules to others:

 

1. No screen time on school days--period.

 

2. Screen time is earned, a minute per correct math problem / grammatically correct sentence (age appropriate). Sometimes translation of text counts.

 

3. Schoolwork does NOT count towards screen time earning.

 

My kids spent probably maximum 12 hours each over the entire summer watching any kind of screen, including TV, and that includes with babysitters. I am very happy with how this rule has been working for us.

 

The consequence of "stolen" screen time is no device for one week; if they do it again within a week of getting it back, a month. We've never had to go beyond that as they know I'm serious as I've had to suffer through imposing that consequence a few times. UGH.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I find it hard to believe the tablet is the real culprit. I think if a tablet can affect your life this much it's likely the tablet is simply revealing an underlying issue in the relationship.

 

These items are part of the landscape now. It does a disservice to kids to pretend they don't exist. There is no virtue in avoiding media and technology.

Video games and game apps are designed to be very attractive and addictive. Young kids are especially vulnerable to this habit because they often lack the ability to self regulate very enjoyable things. I don't think a child overdoing it on screen based games is necessarily indicative of any "underlying issue in the relationship". What a guilt trip-y thing to say.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My son uses an iPad everyday for school. We mostly observe a no games rule for it. It is a school tool and not a platform for games. My older son can mostly self regulate on other screen time so we don't have that many rules for him.

 

My younger son can not self regulate so he gets very limited access. No computer or video game time at home except on weekends, very limited device time. He's only 5 and I don't want him substituting screens for reading and playing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rules sbould be inforced and also time limits.

I don't take technology away from my kids, if it weren't for the time spend on the computer my son would not have discovered his love for creating animations and will soon move into 3D rendering.

I do however don't allow then to use the internet at this stage.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

If you don't like how it's working for your family, change the rules.  Give a heads up, and than expect grumbling, whining, and maybe even tantrum.  Let those things go, and stick to your new rules.  Given time to adjust, your rules will become the new norm.  

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...