Did HSing decrease your stress?

[displace]

I was reading some research regarding HS from a journal that stated a lot of HS families reported much reduced levels of stress vs PS families. I mean, it makes sense, and I think daily (or hourly) about how not having to deal with the PS system in our specific after school situation would make my life so much easier. But then after reading that I started considering many other ways I'm (and my family is) stressed from PS. It ranges from grades, to comparing oneself with others, to extra work, to boredom, to frustration, to advocacy, to correcting things heard in school (another kid told DS there are blue apples that are poisonous!) and probably a bunch of other minor things.

 

I'm wondering if HS decreased your family's stress? Or if you've always HS if you feel you're less stressed than others who choose PS you know of. Any thoughts?

[fairfarmhand]

It's a different more manageable type of stress in my case.

 

Stress from being around my kids all day and the inevitable conflicts and tension that result.

 

Versus the craziness of being out of the house all day long every single day.

 

Dealing with homework in the evening,

 

Who in the world is this guy who is calling my dd?

 

What is the family of this girl who's giving a slumber party like?

 

This teacher seems to not give a crap if my kid is failing.

 

etc.

 

I think it's easier because I have a bit more control over the situations that we find ourselves in.

[Mbelle]

Yes, there has been less stress.  My kids went to private not public, but it has be fairly similar.  School politics were atrocious and the cliques among parents were just ridiculous, which then trickled down to students  There was bullying even in 1st grade.  I even saw a parent bully a child which I could not believe.  My dd had a very mean 1st grade teacher and it took the school 3 years to fire her.  Then there was all the folders coming home, papers to sign, homework, projects and fundraisers.  I volunteered a lot and also did substitute teaching.  The travel time and rushing around every morning and afternoon were very hectic.  My kids were still in elementary when we started homeschool, but we have no intention of ever going back.  I would consider a hybrid school if my high school age students wanted that.  There are several good ones (even classical) nearby. 

 

The biggest down side to homeschool for us, is that it is like having a job and so I don't get to do all the errands during the week and our house is quite a bit messier.  Lots of housework and shopping are on the weekends now.

 

Overall, the balance is in favor and we enjoy it.

[Lolly]

Definitely. There is always stress, but I prefer to have stress that is in my corner to control. If things get too stressful, we just drop everything for a while. Or, go on a 2 week vacation in deep Florida in February...Yeah, I've done that a couple of times...

[Dramorellis]

Yes substantially less stress. I wasn't even aware of all the ways the stresses of being in a formal school setting was affecting our family. I thought that I was not cut out to be a HSing mom because the ones I had witnessed (that were doing it successfully) just seemed so much more calm and patient and their children so easy going. When we switched, the first thing that I noticed was that it took the intensity down which allowed me to be more patient and calm and the children became more easy going because I was more relaxed. I was spending a tremendous amount of energy trying to guide his schooling and down at the school helping and emotional energy trying to find the answers to all of the problems he was having. It is stressful being the sole guide now but I don't have to fight a whole system just to give my children what they need so that in and of itself has lifted so much pressure. This is still hard but just without all the other junk.

[Orthodox6]

I am so programmed to translate the abbreviation "HS" as "high school", I entered the thread ready to post, "You have GOT to be kidding!"

 

No, stress does not decrease by homeschooling; it assumes different forms.

[rdj2027]

Stress relief was one of the many issues that led us to homeschooling.  I leave it at that because if I bring it all up again my blood pressure rises.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

Yes, but it's not stress free.

[OneStepAtATime]

We still have stress but as stated upthread it is a different and usually MUCH more manageable kind of stress now.  

 

The kids and I were stressed out all the time while they were in brick and mortar.  Tons of homework, having to reteach material all the time, having to drive the kids to school by 715am and not getting them home again until 4, then homework homework homework then dinner, then homework then bedtime.  No time left for family time, fun time, down time.  And while some of the teachers were amazing, by 3rd grade we were dealing with 9 teachers for DD and 5 teachers for DS.  And each had their own rules/regulations/requirements/expectations.  It was exhausting trying to keep up.  

 

For instance, with one teacher she gave extra credit if you brought in your study guide on Test day.  Another teacher counted off 5 points if you didn't bring it.  Another one penalized you if you brought in a copy instead of the original ( :confused1: ).  Another wanted you to leave it at home on Test day so you wouldn't be tempted to cheat.  Another one didn't care one way or the other.  Still another kept changing her mind on what she wanted with regard to study guides.  (And I had never had study guides in elementary so that was a bit odd to me.) Trying to keep straight which teacher expected which thing was a challenge.  Ugh!

 

And sometimes the textbooks were wrong or the teacher created tests were wrong and I would have to tactfully try to fix the problem.

 

But it wasn't all bad.  We had some great experiences through the school and got to know some amazing teachers and parents and kids.  I just wish it could have been a half day or more like a University Model school.  Just meet maybe twice or three times a week.  Mainly project based.  And certainly not 9 teachers in elementary....

[LanaTron]

I think homeschool was less stressful than public school when my kids were elementary/middle school levels. We had so much more family freedom!

 

But once we hit high school--woah! A lot of that is personal, though, because I had started working part-time just as my eldest two were entering the high school level, and then my dh changed jobs and is never really home except on Sundays and maybe Mondays. It all got to be too much. My eldest went all the way through homeschool high school, but I feel like I did a terrible job with his education.

 

My middle two have elected to go to public high school, though, and it is fabulous. It is much less stressful for me (although I miss the freedom to put our family's needs first!). They have good heads on their shoulders, and know how to weed through the social crap, and find the kids who are good for them (although I had to tell dd she was not allowed to be friends with this girl who was treating her very badly!). They are both in marching band, and the director is super positive with the kids AND is a great band director, too. Despite all the weird things going on w/ regards to curriculum in our state, they are getting a decent enough education, at least equivalent to what I am capable of at home, if not better, especially in their AP classes.

 

Now I have one 6th grade dd in my homeschool. She likes homeschooling, but so did my other kids when they were in 6th grade! I plan to homeschool her through 8th grade, then we will see if it is in the best interest of all involved for her to go to public or stay home.

 

Oh, and I am NOT a morning person and the late bell is at 7:20! That is stressful, especially by the end of the year when that 6 a.m. alarm has gotten to be very, very, very annoying.

[rutamattatt]

Our youngest two were in PS through 3rd and K.  I found PS to be a lot of work - maybe not "stressful" exactly - because there wasn't what I considered adequate communication between school and parents, homework (even in K!), and tons of extras - book fairs, science projects, fundraisers (ugh!) on the school's schedule.  Our family operated on the their  schedule and priorities.  I think school was stressful on my kids - not the homework, but the push to go with the flow to keep classroom momentum.  My oldest DS ended up with hives in third grade from school stress.  

 

Homeschooling can be stressful, but we get to control the stress to a large degree.  DH and I can assess our family's needs academically, socially, spiritually, etc. and make adjustments without permission or consequences from an outside person.  It is A LOT of work, but not necessarily a lot of stress.  

 

Having said that, we homeschooled our oldest DD for three years and that was stressful.  She has a number of challenges academically and emotionally, and our time together homeschooling was counterproductive to attachment issues we were working on.   This year we made the decision to enroll her in the special ed program at our local high school.  It's been a great decision all the way around.

 

I think doing what doesn't work best for your family is always stressful, regardless of the specific circumstances.  

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

 

 

I think doing what doesn't work best for your family is always stressful, regardless of the specific circumstances.  

:iagree:  :iagree:  :iagree:

[wintermom]

I've never had all my 4 dc in school, but this year my ds started grade 7 at the local school. He finds it stressful to get up early, make his lunch, make sure his homework is completed, make sure he's given my all the paperwork for signing, and moving from classroom to classroom and teacher to teacher throughout the day. I support him in these areas, but let him take charge of these responsibilities. I don't find it stressful at all, but I completely see where this would be much more difficult for parents of elementary school children. This experience has made me appreciate the time and relaxed atmosphere we all have with homeschooling.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I was reading some research regarding HS from a journal that stated a lot of HS families reported much reduced levels of stress vs PS families.  I mean, it makes sense, and I think daily (or hourly) about how not having to deal with the PS system in our specific after school situation would make my life so much easier.  But then after reading that I started considering many other ways I'm (and my family is) stressed from PS.  It ranges from grades, to comparing oneself with others, to extra work, to boredom, to frustration, to advocacy, to correcting things heard in school (another kid told DS there are blue apples that are poisonous!) and probably a bunch of other minor things. 

 

I'm wondering if HS decreased your family's stress?  Or if you've always HS if you feel you're less stressed than others who choose PS you know of.  Any thoughts?

 

 

No, homeschool gives me stress.  Trying to figure out what extras I can afford and get my kids to while also schooling them b/c of course most homeschool activities are scheduled on a Tuesday morning at 10 am and last all day long.  Co-op has always been a high stress homeschool activity with as many positives as negatives.  Then there is the fact that homeschoolers can not participate in any public school extras so all the cost is on us to fund extras and find them.  

My kids went to public school and then were homeschooled for 6 years.  I am totally burnt out on the home school scene.  My oldest went back to public school this year for high school.  So far she is doing great, loves the challenge of her classes, going out for soccer (would have been paying $500 + just to register with private school to play not including uniforms and 40 min. commute to private school and sitting out a year for being out of district if stayed homeschooled), getting on school newspaper next term.  

There is definitely more stress homeschooling if you don't fit in for the reasons that are typical for homeschooling here.  I am not a conservative Christian who wants my girls to court and marry the first person they date.  I can't tell you how much stress this stigma of my girls being "bad" b/c of being allowed to like a boy or go on a group activity with a boy has caused us in the homeschooling community.

We had less stress homeschooling when kids were in elementary school compared to public school, but I have to say homeschool is more stress once they hit puberty than public school has been for us.  My dd spent last spring formal with several teens trying to "save" her.  The irony is she is saved.  We do not believe in courting.  That was a big deal here.  She was getting so depressed and kids were labeling her as trouble b/c their parents didn't want them to realize that some kids get to choose who they like and date instead of the females all answering to the Dad alone.  It was high stress for me and her.  

But we homeschool for medical reasons with our sons so I have never been homeschooling to get away from the stress of public school.  I have always felt stress from homeschool activities and a pressure to emulate or duplicate social activities and extras that they would have gotten had they been in school.  I wouldn't have had to volunteer though or teach.  I have only found drama in the homeschool groups and co-ops.  I did not find that level of drama in the public school community.  

[RoundAbout]

I found homeschooling a lot more stressful, even though I enjoyed it. Keeping my son focused during school time, finding and driving to activities for social opportunities (everyone is just so dang busy here it was a part time job just to do play dates), and being solely responsible for my son's education was a weight on my shoulders. Most importantly, I'm an introvert so having 6 hours of the day to myself has given me the mental energy to after school and deal with the minor stresses that *do* arise.

 

There are a few other things that work in my favor:

 

-My son is a highly capable student in a great school. I don't feel I have to worry about him doing well or advocate for anything,

 

- The school has a late start time (9:30) and a 10 minute commute so no rushing in the morning. Very little homework.

 

- I know homeschooling worked for us and we could go back to it (and probably will at some point) so I'm not stressed about PS working out perfectly. I also still feel responsible for my son's education and afterschool him. A lot of the PS parents I see are stressed because they believe their entire child's future depends on what happens in school.

 

- It's only second grade for us, so if my son forgets his homework I shrug.

 

- I have no problem saying "no." I don't feel a need to volunteer in the class, participate in fundraisers, or go to PTA meetings.

[RootAnn]

We've always homeschooled, so I don't know the alternative. Homeschooling is stressful overall, although it has its moments of joy and the benefits far outweigh the negatives (most days).

 

 

I think the level of stress & how it affects you is more a function of personality & kids' personalities than strictly a choice of HSing vs. public/private schooling.

[FairProspects]

I find both to be stressful in different ways.

 

When we were enrolled in PS, the stress was advocating for ds and afterschooling him to teach what the school was not. There were also additional therapies to fit in around the school schedule and trying to manage his anxiety from all the school chaos & scheduling.

 

In HS, there is the stress of doing it all yourself. You are the only one responsible for remediation, finding the right resources, and creating all the enrichment opportunities (in addition to regular home & business or work tasks). It is an enormous responsibility and is equally as stressful, but at least I am the one in charge and calling the shots. If I have to be stressed somehow, I'd rather be the boss. :)

[angela in ohio]

Much more stress homeschooling, but a different (better) kind. :)

[maize]

I can't say for sure from the parent's perspective as I have never sent my kids to school (though I am grateful to not have to deal with all the nonsense I hear about from other parents). I am confident however that my children's lives are less stressful than they would be if attending school, and that is worth a lot.

[Coco_Clark]

My kids have never been to public school, but comparing to close friends (including close friends that have experienced both worlds) no I am not less stressed.  

 

My stress is different.  I am not worrying about rushing out the door at 8:45, making lunches, or fighting about homework...but neither do I have 6 hours alone M-F to clean the house, go shopping, ect.  And I cannot take the convenient, "I know, this homework is SO much.  I'm on your side." stance like my friends can.  

And the truth is, some families are NOT spending hours advocating for their kids, fighting for services, ect.  Public school works for some kids.

 

I think if homeschooling really works for your family, and public school really doesnt, then public school will be more stress.  And that will go both directions.  My afor-mentioned friends stress levels dropped about 200% when she put her kids in school.  Homeschooling did not work for them.  Public school does.  But Id be willing to bet for MOST families the over-all stress level is a wash.  Equal but different.   

[Reefgazer]

HS didn't reduce my stress, it just changed what I stress about.  But now I have some control over the stress and can ameliorate it if I deem it necessary.

[myfunnybunch]

Yes. I mean, I still compare our homeschool to others, worry about grading, juggle extracurriculars, deal with "blue apples" info my kids pick up elsewhere....not to mention stresses particular to homeschooling, like having to find a decent Spanish teacher and planning and implementing curricula for different grade levels yearly.

 

BUT my stress is my own. I am in control of most of it instead of being at the mercy of the school system/teacher/school schedule.

 

I am pro-public schools by the way. We have a decent school system here. It's more about my own sense of control.

 

Cat

[AK_Mom4]

HS didn't reduce my stress, it just changed what I stress about.  But now I have some control over the stress and can ameliorate it if I deem it necessary.

 

This is me, too.  I just traded one type of stress for a better kind where I have more influence and control.

 

But as far as my kids go?  Homeschooling REALLY decreased their stress level.  They are much more relaxed being at home and being around fewer people all day.  This makes it easier to be involved in their outside activities - music, theater, skiing, sports - and they seem to have more fun.

[displace]

Great insights!  It was especially interesting to see how many feel you have same or more stress, but of a different type.  I think I can understand.  At the moment I stress about all the work, remediation, work, lack of preventing problems with poor reading habits, school issues I don't like happening, and no time off from work.  If we HS then I'd have to figure out if we're falling further behind, what curriculum is best, not knowing if we're doing enough, juggling more activities/extracurriculars for fun.  So, stressful but fun. 

[Guest]

It definitely increased my stress when my older ds decided to go to public school, lol.

 

I am not a fan. So glad to be homeschooling again!

 

 

[73349]

I think it matters whether you are comparing hsing to being a SAHM or to WOHM while working around a school's schedule, homework demands, etc. If I had gone back to the job I had before DS was born, which was already deadline-intensive and inflexible, having him in school would be very stressful. If I had the day free to do housework, etc., then dealing with his school would be less of a hassle.

 

I did send him to preschool 2 mornings a week for 2 years, and that generated a surprising amount of work for me. My turn to bring snack for the class! But grapes and carrots are choking hazards! Buy a t-shirt! Run to Target because we need you to bring in ________ on Thursday! It's wear your school t-shirt day! Now it's Teacher Appreciation Day! Now send him in _________ color (for holiday that actually falls on the weekend) and we will send him home with candy! Now sell the fundraising item! All on short notice! No, thanks. I am in fact sending him to you so I have some free time; I don't want to spend it running errands for preschool! Ugh. I think elementary would be like that, plus required homework for me to make him do at the time of day when he's tired and getting grumpy.

[Pen]

I was reading some research regarding HS from a journal that stated a lot of HS families reported much reduced levels of stress vs PS families.  I mean, it makes sense, and I think daily (or hourly) about how not having to deal with the PS system in our specific after school situation would make my life so much easier.  But then after reading that I started considering many other ways I'm (and my family is) stressed from PS.  It ranges from grades, to comparing oneself with others, to extra work, to boredom, to frustration, to advocacy, to correcting things heard in school (another kid told DS there are blue apples that are poisonous!) and probably a bunch of other minor things. 

 

I'm wondering if HS decreased your family's stress?  Or if you've always HS if you feel you're less stressed than others who choose PS you know of.  Any thoughts?

 

Absolutely yes!!!

 

There is still stress with HS, though less than when I was new to it and also remediating reading (and other subjects) that the two brick and mortar school had failed with. (It goes up a bit each time we come to a new milestone needing significant changes, and then goes down again.)

 

And each of public and private schools that we tried had stresses that overlapped each other and others that were unique to the individual school. But both had tremendous more stress (for both me and dc) than HS does. The public school was the most stressful for both of us, private school much less for ds than public, but more for me (because of distance, $$$, parent involvement requirements, etc.), and overall HS is the least stressful overall.

[Pen]

...

 

I did send him to preschool 2 mornings a week for 2 years, and that generated a surprising amount of work for me. My turn to bring snack for the class! But grapes and carrots are choking hazards! Buy a t-shirt! Run to Target because we need you to bring in ________ on Thursday! It's wear your school t-shirt day! Now it's Teacher Appreciation Day! Now send him in _________ color (for holiday that actually falls on the weekend) and we will send him home with candy! Now sell the fundraising item! All on short notice! No, thanks. I am in fact sending him to you so I have some free time; I don't want to spend it running errands for preschool! Ugh. I think elementary would be like that, plus required homework for me to make him do at the time of day when he's tired and getting grumpy.

 

Totally!!!

 

Reading this brings on visceral feelings of stress as if it is triggering a PTSD reaction to very similar experiences!!!

 

By K there was also the added stress of peer pressure--wanting what the other kids had, long days, frequent meetings to attend, homework, and also issues related to being 2E.  And it was 5 days per week.

[Catherine]

Definitely less stress for me. No more phone calls or judgement for teachers, plus my kid (oldest one) was much, much happier. Homeschooling is also stressful, but for me that is about the level of responsibility for my child's future.

 

I have days when I'd really love to go back to some of the teachers who were so horrible to my son and tell them he's just fine now. Trying to advocate for him just became overwhelming, and I was seeing little benefit.

 

I know now there is no perfect educational situation for all kids all the time. My middle kid goes to an excellent school right now and his teachers have been absolutely wonderful when he had some major struggles last year.

[regentrude]

No.

The logistics of homeschooling while working outside the house required a lot of organization and running back and forth.

Public school with kids being at school for a fixed time every day was way easier.

 

Not to mention the stress of being the guidance counselor for college applications and being solely responsible for not screwing up that process... being able to delegate part of the task to a school would have been a lot less stressful. Stress wise, Junior year was the worst.

 

But through homeschooling, the kids were a lot happier and received a better education. The stress was worth it.

[regentrude]

I think it matters whether you are comparing hsing to being a SAHM or to WOHM while working around a school's schedule, homework demands, etc. If I had gone back to the job I had before DS was born, which was already deadline-intensive and inflexible, having him in school would be very stressful. If I had the day free to do housework, etc., then dealing with his school would be less of a hassle.

 

I am not sure I understand. How is homeschooling while working a deadline-intensive inflexible job less stressful than sending the kid to school?

 

[73349]

I am not sure I understand. How is homeschooling while working a deadline-intensive inflexible job less stressful than sending the kid to school?

 

 

I would not be homeschooling at the same time as WOHM. I am saying that sending him to school as a SAHM (which was not on my list of options) would be less stressful than having him in school as a WOHM. The latter would be more stressful for me than homeschooling.

[maize]

No.

The logistics of homeschooling while working outside the house required a lot of organization and running back and forth.

Public school with kids being at school for a fixed time every day was way easier.

 

Not to mention the stress of being the guidance counselor for college applications and being solely responsible for not screwing up that process... being able to delegate part of the task to a school would have been a lot less stressful. Stress wise, Junior year was the worst.

 

But through homeschooling, the kids were a lot happier and received a better education. The stress was worth it.

The guidance counselor thing would I think depend on the school, my guidance counselor was really no help at all in the college application process. I'm sure you did a better job as counselor for your DD than the majority of GC's do. If the local school has a fabulous guidance office that is one thing, but if you were stuck with an apathetic GC and little control over the process you could have been up a creek.

[sassenach]

In a word, no. I think it's worth it, but I think it has added to my stress levels.

[My3girls]

My stress has probably been cut in half at least.  All the stress related to getting to the bus on time twice a day, dealing with teachers who don't give a crap, fund raisers, peer pressure, etc... is gone.  I still have stress over is my child learning what they need to be successful adults, are they getting adequate nutrition, does everyone have clean clothes, doctor appointments, trying to save for braces and musical instruments, and breaking up the occassional squabble.  So for me it's not different stress between homeschooling and public schooling, it's definitely reduced because the stress I have as a homeschooling parent I had a public schooling parent, too.  Does that make sense?  It's kind of the same for the kids.  When you bring them home, you can cut out all the wasted time, busy work, and crap that just doesn't apply or work for your kids so they can just learn.  Our entire family has less stress as a result of bringing the kids home.  Even my husband benefits from homeschooling because when he gets home we are able to spend time together instead of having to deal with homework and chores.

 

I was talking with someone about this just last week, and it boiled down to when I worked outside the home and the kids were in school, we were all separated all day. Then when we got together in the evenings, all our time was taken up with homework, dinner, chores, baths, and bed.  Time was just flying by, and life was crazy. We didn't have any time to actually connect as a family and live.  I absolutely love love love homeschooling for sooo many different reasons, and I don't want to ever go back to the way our life was before.

[EKS]

Absolutely homeschooling has decreased my stress as well as my son's stress.  School is a giant pain and the good parts aren't worth the hassle.

[My3girls]

I guess I didn't give our school the trust that some others did. lol  Our public school wasn't much better than a daycare.  I was still teaching them at home, and there was no way they would have been college ready if they had stayed in our school system.  I can see where the stress level would be more as a homeschooler if the school system your child would be in was a really good one. 

[cintinative]

I would say--absolutely. We were only in public school for one year and I really had no peace that year.  My oldest was sick A LOT and I had the issue of the school coming down on us because my oldest had missed a week for my FIL's funeral plus many other days for endless ear infections and strep. I received letters saying that if he missed too many days, they would refer us. So every single time he was sick it was an automatic trip to the doctor. He came home every day worn out and stressed--he was chewing his sleeves in class.  I was concerned about what he was not learning, the pace of the learning, and the exposure to some unsavory things that unfortunately happened on the bus. Super long story but in the end, we decided to homeschool, and I finally had my peace.  Later we found out my oldest has Celiac (which explained the seemingly incurable strep and ear infections) and it is so much easier to manage with him at home.  I have zero regrets. Is this easy? Absolutely not.  Am I as stressed as I was that year? No way.

[Peaceful Isle]

Homeschooling is less stress for me than sending my kid to school. I've done both. I don't have to worry about outfits being ready for the morning, packing lunches, parent teacher meetings, my kid being bullied, etc..

 

Some moms feel that homeschooling is way more stressful. I sincerely believe it depends on the different personalities of the parents and children. The things that stress me out , doesn't phase my friend, and vise versa. :)

 

I always say that people need to do what is best for their family, whether it be for personal, academic, or religious reasons.

[Elisabet1]

Yes, definitely.

[Kathie in VA]

I think homeschooling is less stressful but our story is different. Long story short we changed private schools (following many others because the teacher was .... Warped and the principal just as bad) but then realized that their phonics instruction was flipped and dd was behind. (Yep only 1st grade!) There was so much stress trying to figure out what was wrong and how to help her. Then we moved during the 2nd year and decided to homeschool her the last few months. (ETA that was about 12 years ago)

Homeschooling brought different stress loads. However I wasn't in the dark anymore.

[NotSoObvious]

Yes because I have a child with special needs. Enough said.

[Momto6inIN]

My turn to bring snack for the class! But grapes and carrots are choking hazards! Buy a t-shirt! Run to Target because we need you to bring in ________ on Thursday! It's wear your school t-shirt day! Now it's Teacher Appreciation Day! Now send him in _________ color (for holiday that actually falls on the weekend) and we will send him home with candy! Now sell the fundraising item! All on short notice!

 

This.  Times 3 kids at the time.  Plus add in all the other junk that they add for elementary and middle schoolers.  Plus getting picked up on the bus at 7 and not getting dropped off til 4.  Plus having homework at their most crabby time of the day while I'm getting supper fixed and this is what we have to consider our "family time" during the week because there are no other available time slots.  Plus having to put them to bed while it's still broad daylight outside at 8 so that they can maybe possibly get almost the amount of sleep they need before getting up at 6 the next morning to start it all over again.

 

Our stress levels have gone way down now that we're not tied to someone else's schedule.  All of us, kids included, not just me.  We're still just as busy (maybe more so) but we're doing what works for us when it works for us, and that makes all the difference.

 

[IsabelC]

Definitely less stress. 

 

Home educating entails stress too, of course, but we can handle it pretty much any way we want to. 

 

With school, it is difficult to manage the stress because our choices are so limited. We can't change or ditch curriculum, decide to unschool for a week, 'tomato stake' a kid who needs more one on one supervision, have a spur of the moment pajama day, accelerate or slow down a kid's math progress, etc. etc. Anything other than the school mandated cookie cutter approach has to be negotiated for, hence the stress feels more stressy due to lack to control and options.

[kiwik]

My kids have always gone to day care or school. Day care was a lot less stressful. For school you have get there on time even on the day you don't work and would like to have a slow start, you have to do this and that and then teach them yourself anyway. And you have no idea what they do all day. I can't home school for financial reasons but I might be too lazy anyway.

[Laura Corin]

Stopping home educating reduced my stress.  I didn't realise whilst I was in the midst of it how stressed I was by the responsibility.  Once I shared that responsibility with the school, my stress reduced.

 

L

[Lanny]

DD is a Distance Learner.  An unexpected advantage is that our family is much closer now. We spend a lot more time together and talking now. When DD  attended a Private Brick & Mortar school, I had to wake her and my wife at 450 A.M. and DD was out the door at 550 A.M. We eat meals together now. Much less stress!

[G5052]

Definitely yes.  It's a lot of work, even with the outsourcing that we do for high school.  I still monitor, grade, and plan ahead.  And I work full-time, mostly from home.

No regrets though.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Seems a recurring opinion is that homeschooling is still stressful but in a different way.  I would have to wholeheartedly agree with this.  

 

Ps was a maddening, unavoidable, despairing type of stress.  Almost what I would label as insanity ... you know, doing the same thing over and over the same way but expecting different results?  That seemed to be the mindset of those in authority that I encountered in the system.  I remember often feeling as if I were in some surreal, twilight zone  because everyone was nodding when I would speak about concerns but then once their back was turned I apparently never existed. At the time I pulled my dc out I was on anxiety meds and one dd had severe abdominal\bowel issues from stress and nerves. 

 

Once I got them home and started dealing with 2nd dd's behavioral, emotional, and LD issues it was a completely different kind of stress - the type of stress that comes from worrying about the well being of a loved one and worrying that you're doing the right thing for them....BUT it was manageable and I could actively change things that weren't working to try to resolve the stress.  If it became too much I could put all the curricula away and take a week or two off to refresh and reconnect.  

 

Now, years and years later, I would say my stress level is extremely low, especially this year.  Other things in my life create more stress than homeschooling does. :P  Homeschooling for us has finally become one of those things that just gets done without too much fuss or drama. :) 

[woolybear]

We had just one year of Ps (not even a whole year) and without a doubt, 500%, for us homeschooling this year is soooooo much less stressful.