Moving the 7th grader to a LOT more independence

[Tess in the Burbs]

My kids are back to back grades.  Works well in some subjects, not in others.  Last year he did science on his own and did just fine, but asked to do it with his sister for this year.  He missed the group experiments and wanted to study her topic anyway.  So I ramped up the study for this year to make this happen.  We are still doing History together. Both are working through writing at the same level.  And now we are adding Latin back in...so somehow for 7th grade he doesn't have a lot of independent work.  

 

He will be 13 this year and have had quite a few years of defiance...it's mellowed out some.  But reality is it's going to get worse before better and I know that.  This morning was a glimpse into the teen years.  

 

I want to make our homeschool more independent in the next year.  What's realistic?  We don't do co-ops or online classes.  I am open to these but no one wants to get up early for them.

 

I have our weekly schedule where they can see it.  A few things I have to do together and often do those after other subjects are done.  Should I move my teaching to the first of the morning?  And then go do my own thing until they need help or are ready to go over things?  I feel like I am sitting all day waiting on him to finish at his pace.  What works to get my time freed up so I'm more of a helper/checker?  We just started 2 weeks ago, so I feel like I could push some independence his way now instead of waiting until next year.  I'm just looking to see how it looks in other households.  

 

How independent can I make this at this age?  (knowing some days he needs more mom and some days he wants none of mom)  Our curriculum is in my siggy but ask me more if you need more info.  I should preface this by saying he's not a motivated student.  He doesn't like/love school and never has.  He wants to play legos all day.  I am not able to spend more on different curriculum this month but open to changing something if it would free up some of our day.  And would love advice on next year's curriculum to make it more independent.  Since I usually have another kid doing the same thing the following year anything I can reuse is preferred over online classes.  

 

totally appreciate your insight on moving him to more independence!!!  

[Tess in the Burbs]

So everyone's 7th grader is still super dependent? Please, please share with me this transition :-)

[Reefgazer]

Everyone is over arguing on the Duggarville thread, LOL!

My 7th grader is super-independent, so I'm somewhat spoiled.  DD has a planner and a schedule of classes that we "meet" for each day.  We're up and dressed by 8:00 AM (well, in theory, we're up by 8:00 AM!), and then DD brings to the table her schedule, her planner, and the books/materials she needs for the day.  We meet on each "class" on the schedule one after another, reviewing previously assigned work and going over any new daily lessons.  Then the assignments she is to do are put on her planner as due on some future date (often simply the next day) and she writes them in her planner.  Then she goes her way, and I go mine.  Her day is then hers to organize as she wishes, as long as she has her assignments that are due for each day done.  Our total meeting time is about 2-3 hours (I watch the Latin DVD lesson with her, read MCT English with her because it's meant to be done together, and usually hover during scientific experiments), but she puts in substantial independent time on her own. to complete her assigned work.  I don't wait around to check daily independent work; daily work is assigned for the next day or further in the future so that we can tackle it efficiently in one sitting.

 

ETA:  DS is newly homeschooled and in 4th grade, and I am doing my best to get him to independence also.  He still needs more hand-holding than she does, but he's getting there and we are following the same basic routine as his sister.  He just needs more assistance in getting his daily work done, but he has a planner and I am showing him how to use it, and trying to teach him to budget his time wisely.  He usually prefers to play Legos, though.

My kids are back to back grades.  Works well in some subjects, not in others.  Last year he did science on his own and did just fine, but asked to do it with his sister for this year.  He missed the group experiments and wanted to study her topic anyway.  So I ramped up the study for this year to make this happen.  We are still doing History together. Both are working through writing at the same level.  And now we are adding Latin back in...so somehow for 7th grade he doesn't have a lot of independent work.  

 

He will be 13 this year and have had quite a few years of defiance...it's mellowed out some.  But reality is it's going to get worse before better and I know that.  This morning was a glimpse into the teen years.  

 

I want to make our homeschool more independent in the next year.  What's realistic?  We don't do co-ops or online classes.  I am open to these but no one wants to get up early for them.

 

I have our weekly schedule where they can see it.  A few things I have to do together and often do those after other subjects are done.  Should I move my teaching to the first of the morning?  And then go do my own thing until they need help or are ready to go over things?  I feel like I am sitting all day waiting on him to finish at his pace.  What works to get my time freed up so I'm more of a helper/checker?  We just started 2 weeks ago, so I feel like I could push some independence his way now instead of waiting until next year.  I'm just looking to see how it looks in other households.  

 

How independent can I make this at this age?  (knowing some days he needs more mom and some days he wants none of mom)  Our curriculum is in my siggy but ask me more if you need more info.  I should preface this by saying he's not a motivated student.  He doesn't like/love school and never has.  He wants to play legos all day.  I am not able to spend more on different curriculum this month but open to changing something if it would free up some of our day.  And would love advice on next year's curriculum to make it more independent.  Since I usually have another kid doing the same thing the following year anything I can reuse is preferred over online classes.  

 

totally appreciate your insight on moving him to more independence!!!  

 

[Goldilocks]

What has helped my son become more independent has been the change in curriculum. It has just worked out that the curriculum is better suited to working alone.  For example, in history he reads a chapter and writes down facts. That would just be awkward to do together. WWS is written to the student, with the parent nearby for help.

 

For grammar, I tried to have my son copy the grey box that is at the start of the R&S Grammar lesson and then read the lesson on his own. He had a lot of trouble doing this on his own, though.  My dd can do it this year in grade 6, however.

 

 

[Reefgazer]

I definitely agree that the curriculum can make a difference.  DD does FFL (which can be independent, but I sit with her because I am also trying to learn Latin with her), Saxon, R+S spelling, and WWS, and they all lend themselves to independence.

What has helped my son become more independent has been the change in curriculum. It has just worked out that the curriculum is better suited to working alone.  For example, in history he reads a chapter and writes down facts. That would just be awkward to do together. WWS is written to the student, with the parent nearby for help.

 

For grammar, I tried to have my son copy the grey box that is at the start of the R&S Grammar lesson and then read the lesson on his own. He had a lot of trouble doing this on his own, though.  My dd can do it this year in grade 6, however.

 

[Pen]

We've been working on this too. I don't have answers yet. I hope someone else does!

[EndOfOrdinary]

My son is not at seventh grade yet, but I am really moving in this direction.  Much of my son's schoolwork has been digitized through OneNote.  It greatly helped.  There is upfront work from me, but then I can really let him go at many aspects of his subjects without needing me to list them.  They have been listed already.

 

We made a list of a few regular things that take between twenty minutes and a half hour.  This is an amount of time I KNOW my son can handle without me.  There is no reason to have to get distracted with food, water, bathroom, squirrels, bugs, glitter, or anything else.  It is only a half hour.  The list is also only including things that do not need to ask questions.  Here are a few of our things:

 

History cards

Spanish Flash Cards

Reading one section of a text

Reading three chapters-ish of a book

Watching a chemistry video

Khan Academy (often subject specific so he does not get distracted)

One section of math exercises (not the initial teaching)

One section of Latin (again, not initial teaching)

 

The list comes out for one and a half hours in the morning and one and a half hour in the afternoon.  After he does one half hour, he gets a half our off, then finishes the other half hour. I want my son to recognize that many things he relies on me for at this point are not necessary.  He can do a math section of exercises without needing me there.  He can do his flash cards, study cards, and workbook stuff without needing to tell me all about it. 

 

I do not know if either of those will be helpful, but they have really allowed my son the confidence in himself to take initiative.

[Tess in the Burbs]

thank you for the insight into your days!  I truly appreciate it.  I can see it's going to be a lot of work to get set up, but I am getting started today!

[lmrich]

Something else you could try is to make your teaching days Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and then they work independently Tuesday and Thursday. 

 

[Chrysalis Academy]

My 7th grader is surprising me with how independent she is this year.  I give her a weekly list (although I do modify it during the week) with daily assignments to be done independently and to be done together, and let her know when I'm available to work together.  Typically she works independently all morning while I'm working with my 3rd grader, then we do our together work in the afternoon, but that's not set in stone. 

 

For specific subjects:

Math - she's now doing this almost entirely independently.  It used to be that if she couldn't solve a problem she would bring it to me and I would show her how to solve it.  But I realized this was silly - it didn't teach her how to solve the problem.  It just got her past a problem she didn't know how to solve! Totally the opposite of the goal, which is to learn the material, not to get the lesson done.  So now, if she can't solve a problem, I direct her to resources - videos, or alternative explanations in other math books, or additional examples - and have her work through those, and then tackle the problem again.  This has really put her in the driver's seat with her learning and made her much more independent, as well as learning better.

 

English -for lit, she reads her assigned reading minimally, more if she wants.  Then we discuss.  We're doing Tolkien and discussing each chapter this year.  In the past we've discussed books at the end, but this is working well for us now and we're both enjoying it.

Writing - she has her assignments and responsibility to work independently, but we check in about writing daily.  Sometimes I'm super involved in helping her think something through and plan it, revise it, other days she's mostly working on her own.  Writing isn't independent, though.

 

Other subjects go like that - assigned reading she does on her own, then we get together for discussion.  Spanish she has one component she does independently each day, but we work together on oral spanish & translations a couple of times a week.

 

I find that the key is checking in and discussing on a daily basis, and having assignments with accountability.  Also, though, just having the blocks of time - here is when you work on your own, if you get stuck, move on to the next thing on your list.  This keeps the day moving along most efficiently.

 

So it's a mix - there are clear expectations of what she is to get done on her own, but at the same time, I'm connected and checking in with everything.  But I'm really finding that this is taking less time per subject than it used to.

 

Did somebody already suggest SWB's lecture on teaching your child to work independently?  It's really good.  When I first listened to it, it seemed kind of daunting, but it's actually worked out just as SWB described.  I'd give it a listen if I were you.

[RootAnn]

Just out of pure necessity, I started moving my dd#1 to independence a couple of years ago. The first year, she had a checklist for specific subjects in daily "chunks" -- starting with about three or four subjects (history, science, religion). I would do a teaching subjects (grammar/math), then move onto siblings while she completed the lesson. When she was done, we'd do our "togethers" (like spelling) and she would then go off & complete her checklist stuff usually after lunch. I'd check in on her a couple of times & then see what she got done at the end of each day. It was rocky - and she ended up taking some of the summer finishing the checkilst subjects because she didn't complete enough during the first half of the year.

 

The next year, she had a weekly checklist and I'd meet with her first thing to get memory work & some teaching subjects done. Her increased maturity made this go better than the previous year, but we still had some weeks where she was working over the weekend to get her work done. Adding a "suggested time schedule" helped her understand she couldn't goof off most of the day/week and still finish on time.

 

This year, she has a weekly checklist, a "suggested time schedule" and certain times she has to be somewhere for either an online class or me to teach her or discuss with her. It is still a bit rocky because she got used to goofing around during the summer instead of actually working/focusing. Some days, I check on her a lot. Other days, she's completely independent and only comes to me when she has questions.

 

My dd#2 is still mostly with me / non-independent. I'm going to move her to a few subjects involving a daily checklist next year with the goal of a weekly checklist the year after. So, she'd be a year older when she goes more independent, but she needs more scaffolding to get there.

[happypamama]

Our books, etc. are in my sig, but feel free to ask more specific questions if you want.

 

Seventh grader has a list of things she should check on each day, as does fourth grader. Seventh grader needs to check the following: any math problems I've indicated need correction (she needs to check to see if she can do them on her own, as careless errors are most of her problem, not comprehension), her writing assignment (in WWS -- can she do it on here own, or does she have questions for me?), language (is it computer language day?), history (generally she can do this on her own but sometimes needs my help with research and writing), typing, lit reading, science reading, and general skills (sometimes she can do this on her own, and sometimes she can't). She's supposed to look at all of those things and have questions ready for me when it's her turn with me.

 

I schedule 45 minute blocks, and it rotate between kids. One day, I work with the littles first then my fourth grader, than my seventh grader. The next day, I work with the fourth grader first, seventh grader second, and so on. After the first three 45 minute blocks, I work with anyone who needs me.

[EndOfOrdinary]

It ate my quote!  This is from RootAnn above:
 

. Adding a "suggested time schedule" helped her understand she couldn't goof off most of the day/week and still finish on time.

 

 

.

This was a big thing here.  There have been quite a few talks about procrastination this year already.  There have been a few missed library days that he was really looking forward to because he did not get his assignment done for an outside class.  I think the main part to the independence is recognizing how rocky it is going to be at first.  There will be quite a bit of failing to understand that with freedom and independence come responsibility.

[Kidlit]

Following with great interest!

[Mukmuk]

I have a 6th grader whom I'm trying to move in the same direction. In his case, there are several components that we're working on simultaneously so that he can become more independent.

 

1. Good study skills. DS' key strengths and weaknesses play a big part such that he hasn't developed good learning skills. For instance, he finds textbook reading (as opposed to reading for pleasure) very difficult. So he doesn't like to read to learn (dyslexic). He also finds it difficult to listen (CAPD). But he's a very creative person who loves to think on the fly. The result is that, instead of reading the lesson part of the curriculum, he loves to jump into the questions. This works somewhat for math. But no wonder he doesn't like learning history formally. As he gets to the higher levels though, his methodology is less and less possible.  Most days, I sit next to him to read the text together, although I'm slowly letting go and evaluating on a piecemeal basis.

 

2. Maturity. Ds is very independent minded (he hates getting help), which is very different from being independent! He's always been anxious to work on his own, but without study skills, it hasn't been possible. Actually, I'd say that this attitude has held him back because he would never take advice. But things are coming together as he matures. His study skills are slowly coming up to scratch even as he mellows and grudgingly accepts what I say (well somewhat!). His natural inclination of wanting to work on his own is helping to boost the process towards independence. We're at the stage where, if he hasn't learnt the lesson well, he has to move back to re-learn it, and finally, he's okay with it (whew!).

 

So we're not there yet, but I see a roadmap towards greater independence eventually. It's all good!

[Cottonwood]

Independence was something I knew I wanted from DD12 last year..she's almost 14 now and in 8th grade.  DS11 was added to our homeschool classroom this year and I knew I needed her to be able to do her thing without me so I could transition him.  So the 2nd half of last school year, I started handing a lot over to her.  She did so well that this year I barely see her throughout her school day.  Only to clarify things, remind or help her to understand something.  DS11 (7th grade) has caught on quickly and started applying some of my following suggestions on his own and is quickly becoming somewhat independent.

 

Curriculum - I had already chosen curriculum last year that was written to the child and I liked how that worked out. (MBTP, SAxon Pre-a).   So I stuck with that idea for both kids this year.  I really think it matters regarding independence.  And, I would recommend him breaking off and doing more and more on his own, if possible.  Mine only do science together, and Vocabulary/Root work with me.

 

CLARITY in expectations! Almost as important as curriculum choice.  By this I mean:

 

Visible Schedules  - I typed one schedule that is the same every week, all yr long.  It shows which subjects to do ea day of the week, and how long they have to do it.  On their daily planner I indicate how far in ea subject I'd like for them to work.  So if the wall schedule says Mondays, Language Arts for an hour, their planner will tell which pages.  The wall schedule for ea day also tells them what time I want their alarm set for, what time breakfast starts, and what time school starts. Both are expected to set their alarm, get up on their own and come to breakfast on time a little while later.  This schedule is in a page protector and put on the fridge, at their desks, in their rooms and on my phone homescreen.  They are very clear about the times they have to do what and are expected to be good time managers to pull it off.  Of course there hasn't been one week that works exactly that way, but I'm flexible as long as I see they are working diligently.  And by now, they don't even look at the wall schedule b/c they know what each day's work is.  They just refer to their individual planners for specific tasks.

 

A planner per kid - They keep this with them through the day to view my notes on what that day's work is, and to check off boxes.  Between the schedule on the wall and this planner, no one should questions what they need to do at any time.

 

A heart to heart discussion on expectations - my kids work very well when they know what is expected of them, so this year we sat down and talked about it.  They had plenty of input too, but the gist was: this is the year of independence and alarm clocks (this part was new).  After the discussion I had them repeat what was expected.  They understood the schedule (they helped build it), they knew how to use the planner, understood time frames and all that extra free time if they get it all done.  I told them that the success and fun of their year rested right on their shoulders and their was much fun to be had and goodies to be earned for meeting the goals.  They are really rising to the expectation.

 

ORGANIZATION

So much time was wasted last year as I searched for DD's turned in papers, supplies, books, etc.  So at some point I bought DD a 3 inch Case It 3 ring binder, put tile tabs and blank notebook paper in it, put her curriculum books on one side under the Velcro enclosure and explained that all of her stuff was in that binder...ONLY.  Luckily her textbooks aren't thick.  She grabs a book from one side of the binder, picks a pencil from under the zipped supplies pocket,  uses the blank notebook paper stored in the binder to do the work, and once she finishes her work, she is to file it under that subject's tab.  If it's not under the tab when I grade the work, she is asked to find it.  No more searching from me.  No more searching for textbooks, no more confusion.  they both wander all over the house to do their work, and as long as they are using their binder correctly, and filing finished work in it, we don't have to look in or under beds, behind the reading nook, outside on the porch, etc.  It's unzip, do the work, zip it back, hand to me for grading.  I grade, zip it back and put it in their space for tomorrow.  It has streamlined our day.  AND it makes it super easy to pick up and go when we want to take our work elsewhere. AND, it makes it so that all their work is neatly waiting for ME if I get behind and don't grade for a week.  Instead of all that lost work from papers getting shoved all around the house.  Oh and their planners are to forever STAY in the binder b/c how will they know what to do if they don't keep it all together with the work?

 

So I gave them all the tools they need to do a full day's worth of school work on their own.  I usually sit with DS a little in the morning for some math work as DD is off doing her math on her own.  After math, DS checks his planner for the next thing and goes from there.  I've only officially sat down w/ DD once this year to explain her change in history curriculum.  But now, I only see her as she turns in her binder for me to grade.  I love it!

 

OH I almost forgot! REWARD TICKETS!  There are things that will get you a reward ticket, like, getting caught really working diligently, no 'marks' on the board that week (you get marks by being disruptive or playing instead of working), etc.  They love getting the reward tickets with all sorts of goodies, extra screen time, a book of their choice, $2 or $3 at Google play store, a day off of chores, their favorite dessert, etc.  That has shaped their behavior up nicely!  Also, poor choices will get a ticket taken away.  Each way to EARN a ticket and how to LOOSE a ticket is on a little list on their bulletin board, so they are very clear on that too.  :)

 

And, just a note on each child, DD is an avid student and eager learner, and DS sounds a LOT like your son whose interests are ANYWHERE else.  Also, my DS lacks maturity like crazy.  Yet both seem to be responding to the set up.  Reading back on it, it sounds militant. LOL  But they had input all along the way and I think its the *structure* that they work well with.   Mine came home from PS at different stages and I actually took a lot from the expectations the 6th grade teachers had of the kids.  At the time I thought, OMG, sink or swim time!   But if they could do it for the teachers, they could do it for me.  HTH!

[EndOfOrdinary]

I thought of something this morning that I did not mention earlier. Every Sunday my son and I have the "What does next week look like" discussion so that we can see if there are like four outside activities or if the week is open or what stuff he has/has not done for his one outside class etc. It keeps us sane and I think of it as a scheduling meeting. This is why it did not occur to me to write about it. However, my son thinks of it as a "free time" meeting. One of the questions which is always asked is "Have you banked any schoolwork?"

 

Banked schoolwork is normal, required work that repeats every week: Vocabulary for his foreign languages, revising his writing for the outside class, reading chapters in the novel, listening to online lectures/videos, the next math section... These are things he knows will happen every single week and if he does them early then he does not have to do them during the week. They are the little annoying "do the next thing" stuff that tends to fill up or get missed in the hassle and bustle. If they get done, he has given himself extra time like a schooltime credit. It goes the other way too. If he is not on top of his schoolwork, he has a schooltime debt. The credit can be used anytime during the week and we add it up on Sunday. He wants to spend it on an extra MineCraft hour, an extra hour at the pool, an extra hour with friends, whatever as long as we can schedule it.

 

Each repetitive thing we have agreed on approximately how much time it should take. When it is banked, he earns that much free time. None of them take anything from me and I cannot have to bug or prompt him to do them. It is all personal initiative. He also cannot forget the work. So if he goes and busts out his vocabulary for Spanish two weeks early, but then during the weekly lessons he cannot remember it, that does not count. It only happened once and that week he wound up with a failed math test where he had two extra hours of studying and a retake. The message was pretty clear that "haste makes waste."