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Husband's Birthday - Desperate for Ideas - Is this a terrible one?


Jenny in Florida
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I'm staring my husband's 50th birthday in the face this Thursday, and inspiration has yet to strike. The day is already compromised by the facts that I have to work that afternoon/evening and this is the first birthday or major event since both of the kids moved out.  My son and daughter were collaborating on an idea, but they had a mishap that means their gift won't get here in time. So, it's pretty safe to say that day won't be a smashing success.

 

Nonetheless,I have to decide on a gift immediately, and it cannot be a physical item I have to order, because I have to wait until my paycheck is credited Thursday morning to have funds available. (If I take it out of the joint account, he'll see the withdrawal, and I will lose the element of surprise.)

 

As those who have "known" me here for a while may remember, my husband makes life very difficult when it comes to gifts for him. He is one of those people who actually cares about presents (which I cannot relate to at all), isn't big on the idea that it's the thought that counts and also buys anything he wants for himself if we have the money to afford it. This means, in general, if he wants it and we can afford it, he already owns it before the next gift-giving occasion rolls around.

 

Add to this the following facts:

 

- He has no hobbies to speak of. In the last couple of years, he's begun playing D&D and some other role-playing games again with a few friends and sometimes our son. However, they play the paper version, not miniatures or anything like that. He already has more dice than a person could need, and he has already bought/pre-ordered the new books.

 

- He does not like sports.

 

- He does not barbeque or any other those other traditional "male" things.

 

- He does not do yard work or vehicle or home repairs. (We rent. He has a bad back.)

 

- Although he has an occasional drink, he isn't into beer or any specific beverage.

 

- There is no snack or food item that he especially likes that we don't keep on hand regularly. (Also, we're vegetarians. So, a fancy steak dinner isn't going to work.)

 

- There is no TV show or pop cultural craze of which he is particularly fond.

 

- The house we live in is small. One wall of our bedroom is literally lined with boxes full of sentimental doo dads and tchotchkes we haven't unpacked since we moved in more than three years ago, because there is no place to put them. 

 

- The bad back limits his mobility, some days more than others. It's not safe to plan any kind of experience or day trip that requires travel, because I never know from day to day whether he'll be up to it.

 

- We do not have the kind of relationship that makes sweet, romantic gifts appealing.

 

He did buy a new-to-him car a couple of months ago, which had a few weeks of a satellite radio subscription left when he brought it home. He has mentioned several times how much he enjoys having that. I don't know exactly when it is due to run out, but I was thinking about buying him a year of service?

 

It's not the kind of thing he'd expect me to do, and I think he would be genuinely surprised, but it doesn't feel "meaningful" for a landmark birthday. I was considering making something small and more personal (painting a t-shirt with a silly saying or something) tomorrow to go along with it.

 

Anyway, thoughts? Opinions? Does this sound like a reasonable plan? What would you do/give if it were your husband? I could take him to dinner or something after work, too? And, of course, both kids will at least call and say hello. 

 

 

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i think that sounds great!  

 

i might also clean the inside of his car, and fill it with balloons (say, 50?) and tie a huge bow on it.

 

something that made a thoughtful gift more visual and "giftie".  

 

for dh's 50th, i invited his two closest friends to go hiking with us.  dh is super introverted and loves to hike.  it was a win.

 

i might also try to do something like "50 things i love about you."  i'd start on page one with the way we met and one of the things i noticed about him that very day.

and so on thru the years.  

 

have fun!

ann

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How about this: Check into buying the service and then do some research to travel somewhere and give him clues hidden in boxes or compose a rhyme that should give him a clue. Book it for whenever is a good time. He will have something to look forward to and it's not just something he unpacks and sets aside.

If a trip is not in the cards, does he like to attend live theater, concerts or museums?

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i think that sounds great!  

 

i might also clean the inside of his car, and fill it with balloons (say, 50?) and tie a huge bow on it.

 

something that made a thoughtful gift more visual and "giftie".  

 

for dh's 50th, i invited his two closest friends to go hiking with us.  dh is super introverted and loves to hike.  it was a win.

 

i might also try to do something like "50 things i love about you."  i'd start on page one with the way we met and one of the things i noticed about him that very day.

and so on thru the years.  

 

have fun!

ann

 

 

How about this: Check into buying the service and then do some research to travel somewhere and give him clues hidden in boxes or compose a rhyme that should give him a clue. Book it for whenever is a good time. He will have something to look forward to and it's not just something he unpacks and sets aside.

If a trip is not in the cards, does he like to attend live theater, concerts or museums?

 

 

How about a pair of dice to hang from his rear view mirror like they did in the 50's and then also do the satellite radio subscription.  You can also get him an AARP membership - doesn't that start at 50?  If you could find five 1964 dimes, that would be meaningful.  I think they are 90% silver. 

 

 

Thanks so much, everyone!

 

His car is actually already clean. He just bought it two months ago, and it doesn't do anything except take him to and from work. So, there's no chance for it to get dirty. (Contrast with my car, which the kids and I have virtually lived in for the three years since I bought it and which gets used for any large or messy jobs, since it's larger. It is in a constant state of mess.) I sneaked into his car last night to try and find the radio ID number, and it even still smells clean. 

 

A trip really won't work. Between the two of us, we have three jobs, which makes scheduling very difficult. And now that we're paying our son's college expenses, there's really no extra money. And his back really does make things difficult. Sometimes, he can ride a roller coaster or two and be relatively okay, but then there are days like yesterday when I have to get the condiments for his sandwich out of the 'fridge for him, because it hurts him too much to bend. Riding in a car is always painful for him, too. So, it's just not safe to plan anything that requires travel, since I never know what might be a good time.

 

When we can afford it, we do a ton of live theatre and concerts and such. This year, we had to give up our season tickets for the Shakespeare theatre, because they don't fit the paying-the-kid's-tuition budget. If his birthday fell a little later in the year, after I had been working for a few more months, I might have been able to sock away more money, but the paycheck I get tomorrow will be only the second one I've gotten from the new job. 

 

I was thinking of maybe putting 50 pieces of decorative gravel or something similar in a little bag and tying on a tag that says something like "Here's hoping 50 rocks." I could write the info about the satellite radio subscription on the back of the tag. (I think I'm going with the "mostly music" version of the service, which fits the "rock" idea.) I thought that might make a cute presentation.

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Before you buy, look for discount codes online.  I have a year old car and decided to not renew my satellite (I use Pandora and blue tooth instead).  I get ads from them Constantly, advertising their deals.  I am sure that there are some codes out there that will help with the price.  Search Siirus XM Radio promo codes or something similar.  If you aren't used to using promo codes, just know that sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.  You just have to keep trying different ones. 

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Before you buy, look for discount codes online.  I have a year old car and decided to not renew my satellite (I use Pandora and blue tooth instead).  I get ads from them Constantly, advertising their deals.  I am sure that there are some codes out there that will help with the price.  Search Siirus XM Radio promo codes or something similar.  If you aren't used to using promo codes, just know that sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.  You just have to keep trying different ones. 

 

I just looked on retailmenot.com and it appears as though there are some codes there for 6 months for $25.  Good luck with the gift!

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I wuolnd't buy anything; I'd go for an "experience".  Have him choose what he would like to do behind "Door 1", "Door 2", or :"Door 3".  Each option should have a theme; so for example, "Door 1" might have dinner followed by a play, "Door 2" might have a hike with a picnic, "Door 3 might be a riverboat cruise"...you get the idea. 

I'm staring my husband's 50th birthday in the face this Thursday, and inspiration has yet to strike. The day is already compromised by the facts that I have to work that afternoon/evening and this is the first birthday or major event since both of the kids moved out.  My son and daughter were collaborating on an idea, but they had a mishap that means their gift won't get here in time. So, it's pretty safe to say that day won't be a smashing success.

 

Nonetheless,I have to decide on a gift immediately, and it cannot be a physical item I have to order, because I have to wait until my paycheck is credited Thursday morning to have funds available. (If I take it out of the joint account, he'll see the withdrawal, and I will lose the element of surprise.)

 

As those who have "known" me here for a while may remember, my husband makes life very difficult when it comes to gifts for him. He is one of those people who actually cares about presents (which I cannot relate to at all), isn't big on the idea that it's the thought that counts and also buys anything he wants for himself if we have the money to afford it. This means, in general, if he wants it and we can afford it, he already owns it before the next gift-giving occasion rolls around.

 

Add to this the following facts:

 

- He has no hobbies to speak of. In the last couple of years, he's begun playing D&D and some other role-playing games again with a few friends and sometimes our son. However, they play the paper version, not miniatures or anything like that. He already has more dice than a person could need, and he has already bought/pre-ordered the new books.

 

- He does not like sports.

 

- He does not barbeque or any other those other traditional "male" things.

 

- He does not do yard work or vehicle or home repairs. (We rent. He has a bad back.)

 

- Although he has an occasional drink, he isn't into beer or any specific beverage.

 

- There is no snack or food item that he especially likes that we don't keep on hand regularly. (Also, we're vegetarians. So, a fancy steak dinner isn't going to work.)

 

- There is no TV show or pop cultural craze of which he is particularly fond.

 

- The house we live in is small. One wall of our bedroom is literally lined with boxes full of sentimental doo dads and tchotchkes we haven't unpacked since we moved in more than three years ago, because there is no place to put them. 

 

- The bad back limits his mobility, some days more than others. It's not safe to plan any kind of experience or day trip that requires travel, because I never know from day to day whether he'll be up to it.

 

- We do not have the kind of relationship that makes sweet, romantic gifts appealing.

 

He did buy a new-to-him car a couple of months ago, which had a few weeks of a satellite radio subscription left when he brought it home. He has mentioned several times how much he enjoys having that. I don't know exactly when it is due to run out, but I was thinking about buying him a year of service?

 

It's not the kind of thing he'd expect me to do, and I think he would be genuinely surprised, but it doesn't feel "meaningful" for a landmark birthday. I was considering making something small and more personal (painting a t-shirt with a silly saying or something) tomorrow to go along with it.

 

Anyway, thoughts? Opinions? Does this sound like a reasonable plan? What would you do/give if it were your husband? I could take him to dinner or something after work, too? And, of course, both kids will at least call and say hello. 

 

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