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Joanne
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Did anyone else catch the next little gem in the lineup is titled: "When Pure Girls Marry: Countering the Christian Fear of Sex"?

 

Okay, it wasn't as bad as the title suggested.  I skimmed it, though, so maybe I missed what I expected it to be.

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I'd like to let her know that I literally wear a burqa and it still doesn't exempt you from disrespect. Seriously, some people really are perverts.e.

Or, most are human and made by design to lust fantasize and want. And that those thoughts can and do coexist with thoughts is service, kindness, compassion and even true worship (if that is your thing).

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I was a little confused when I saw her wedding dress (off the shoulder after saying yoga pants are immodest), which in turn made me wonder if that was her issue ?? If yoga pants aren't okay, neither was her form-fitting wedding dress.

:iagree:

 

And heaven knows we've all seen more than enough of her wedding photo on that blog.

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Her logo on her home page is a pair of velvet, red, open toe, stiletto heels.  So evidently those meet modesty standards set by ... her.  Her tone is so incredibly young - younger than her actual years. I wish her well, but I hope the first thing she learns is a little self reflection and humility.  

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Or, most are human and made by design to list, fantasize and want. And that those thoughts can and do coexist with thoughts is service, kindness, compassion and even true worship (if that is your thing).

This is true. Anything can be attractive to someone. Different strokes for different folks and all that. When I was a teenager, someone took some of my pictures that were on a social network and added them to a flickr collection for veil fetishists. There were guys who took a picture wearing full face covering and then added Muslim women and asked them for pictures of themselves (covered) because they got off on that. Very gross. But even on the nicer end of spectrum, a few men have stopped me and asked me about it and said they thought it was so attractive and loved the idea and wished their girlfriend/significant other would dress like I do so it really isn't as black and white as tank top and yoga pants = turns god-fearing men into howling dogs and modest clothes = respect and men won't find you attractive.

 

"Literally wear a burka" lolol love.

 

Yeah jerks are jerks are jerks. You can't out-modest OR out-undress a perv or jerk.

 

Let me add "teaching men and women to respect..." to your last sentence, sis.

Yes, definitely, you're right. And sadly, it is often the women who are harshest to other women in these areas.

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Her logo on her home page is a pair of velvet, red, open toe, stiletto heels. So evidently those meet modesty standards set by ... her. Her tone is so incredibly young - younger than her actual years. I wish her well, but I hope the first thing she learns is a little self reflection and humility.

I'm sensing that won't be happening any time soon.

 

Unless you consider gazing adoringly at herself in the mirror to be a form of self-reflection. ;)

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I wonder how long it will be before some helpful soul from here will send the woman a message telling her how we're saying mean things about her, and she shows up to defend herself. :rolleyes:

 

I was seriously thinking someone SHOULD link this page so maybe she can rethink her tone!   :p  Maybe she doesn't know how she comes across?

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This is true. Anything can be attractive to someone. Different strokes for different folks and all that. When I was a teenager, someone took some of my pictures that were on a social network and added them to a flickr collection for veil fetishists. .

You must be very young to put teenager and flickr in the same sentence. ;)

 

I used to own and run 2 email lists for positive parenting and AP. We used to have to moderate for 1) breastmilk fetishes and 2) spanking ferishes.

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You must be very young to put teenager and flickr in the same sentence. ;)

 

I used to own and run 2 email lists for positive parenting and AP. We used to have to moderate for 1) breastmilk fetishes and 2) spanking ferishes.

Oops, I gave myself away! Yes, I'm very young. I got married as a teenager (16, almost 17) and had my first when I was 18 :).

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She's only been married six months and she's running around giving advice on life, marriage, and children? Are we sure? I'm sorry, but yiayia's are considered the wise women and even a forty year old is wise enough to know that many times we are too young to have the answers (and, yes, this includes as Christians with the "handbooks" of scripture and tradition if there are those that want to go there because this blogger is a Christian). btw, this tells me much about the people running the homeschool conventions that are bringing her in as a speaker. No way...no freaking way. I've never been to a convention and it's this type of thing that will keep me away from them.

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I was seriously thinking someone SHOULD link this page so maybe she can rethink her tone!   :p  Maybe she doesn't know how she comes across?

 

I'm wondering why some of y'all don't post a comment on the blog - there seem to be some strong feelings here about it.  When I looked at it, there were 22 or 23 comments, all positive. 

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I'm wondering why some of y'all don't post a comment on the blog - there seem to be some strong feelings here about it. When I looked at it, there were 22 or 23 comments, all positive.

If I was a betting woman I would say even if 100 of the hive left her constructive critiques in her comment section only one or two would be allowed, if any. From the snippets I read it is a blog for an echo chamber of a subset of Christendom.

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I'm wondering why some of y'all don't post a comment on the blog - there seem to be some strong feelings here about it. When I looked at it, there were 22 or 23 comments, all positive.

She apparently shut down comments on the yoga pants thread because there were many negative comments. I would hazard to guess that she is perhaps selective in the comments that stay up on her blog. Also it looks like a good chunk of the comments are from her very own self.

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I'm wondering why some of y'all don't post a comment on the blog - there seem to be some strong feelings here about it.  When I looked at it, there were 22 or 23 comments, all positive.

 

My feeling is not only that she wouldn't post my comment, but also that she has a right to post whatever she wishes on her own blog, so I'm not going to go over there and intentionally try to hurt her feelings -- and that is exactly what would happen if a bunch of us went over there and started telling her what we really think of her blog (and her attitude.)

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I wonder how long it will be before some helpful soul from here will send the woman a message telling her how we're saying mean things about her, and she shows up to defend herself. :rolleyes:

Don't bloggers have some sort of software or something that tells them where their traffic is coming from?

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My feeling is not only that she wouldn't post my comment, but also that she has a right to post whatever she wishes on her own blog, so I'm not going to go over there and intentionally try to hurt her feelings -- and that is exactly what would happen if a bunch of us went over there and started telling her what we really think of her blog (and her attitude.)

:iagree:

 

Besides, it's only fun (and somewhat more mannerly) to only snark at one location. Once you start a Traveling Snark Show you can't claim the impulse of the moment anymore. You're officially mean instead of just shooting the breeze.

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:iagree:

 

Besides, it's only fun (and somewhat more mannerly) to only snark at one location. Once you start a Traveling Snark Show you can't claim the impulse of the moment anymore. You're officially mean instead of just shooting the breeze.

 

LOL.  I've been feeling quite mean with my posts, but I really just think she should adjust her attitude and then write her blog.  Like I said, I'm all for modesty and all that, but I don't like the conceited attitude.

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Don't bloggers have some sort of software or something that tells them where their traffic is coming from?

 

Yes, often they can go into their dashboard and find out if they have been linked to from elsewhere. It is why some people will break up a link for people to c/p (and remove the spaces) into their address bar. It's one way of getting around a blogger's ability to trace where the traffic is coming from.

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I liked it. Bullet proof vest on. Are we really saying boys aren't distracted from important things by pretty girls in tight clothing? Because I must disagree. Now it is on young men to maintain focus and not picture what's going on under the tight sweater However, there are things I find distracting and I appreciate when people minimize distractions.... Not sure what is so wrong with being glad for that exactly?

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:iagree:

 

Besides, it's only fun (and somewhat more mannerly) to only snark at one location. Once you start a Traveling Snark Show you can't claim the impulse of the moment anymore. You're officially mean instead of just shooting the breeze.

Traveling snark show! Sign me up. With all the junk going on in my life I've been thinking I ought to run away and join the circus. Forget that. I want to run away and join the traveling snark show!

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I liked it. Bullet proof vest on. Are we really saying bits aren'tdistracted from important things by pretty girls in tight clothing? Because I must disagree. Now it is on young men to maintain focus and not picture what's going on under the right sweater, but I find things distracting and I appreciate when people minimize distractions.... Not sure what is so wrong with being glad for that exactly?

Did you read her other blog posts, as well? The more I read, the less I liked her, and I think others may have had the same experience.

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I liked it. Bullet proof vest on. Are we really saying boys aren't distracted from important things by pretty girls in tight clothing? Because I must disagree. Now it is on young men to maintain focus and not picture what's going on under the tight sweater However, there are things I find distracting and I appreciate when people minimize distractions.... Not sure what is so wrong with being glad for that exactly?

 

It's her attitude.

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I liked it. Bullet proof vest on. Are we really saying boys aren't distracted from important things by pretty girls in tight clothing? Because I must disagree. Now it is on young men to maintain focus and not picture what's going on under the tight sweater However, there are things I find distracting and I appreciate when people minimize distractions.... Not sure what is so wrong with being glad for that exactly?

 

You don't see the irony in HER being distracted by this going on in church of all places? 

 

There is just no humility or grace in her tone and digging around in her blog, she doesn't even know what her own modesty standards are.  You may wear your red velvet stilettos, but not with yoga pants. 

 

I agree, she's welcome to blog whatever she wants.  Maybe that holier than thou tone is helpful to someone out there.  What do I know?

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I was a little confused when I saw her wedding dress (off the shoulder after saying yoga pants are immodest), which in turn made me wonder if that was her issue  ??  If yoga pants aren't okay, neither was her form-fitting wedding dress.  

 

It seemed to me that her wonderful Mr. M. is the one who doesn't want her to wear the yoga pants. Even from those a few lines with which she described the interaction, he sounded controlling. Eek.

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Hmmm. Yoga pants are the new slut wear? The things one learns from the modesty watches.

 

That's funny. I wear skirts and dresses generally. I do own two pairs of jeans. I used to own a pair of yoga pants. I saw them more along the lines of pj bottoms and sweat pants. NOT slutwear. And I'm pretty darn modest.

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That's funny. I wear skirts and dresses generally. I do own two pairs of jeans. I used to own a pair of yoga pants. I saw them more along the lines of pj bottoms and sweat pants. NOT slutwear. And I'm pretty darn modest.

 

Maybe she means leggings?  Like, skin tight ones?  Although, I think most women wear something over their leggings.  

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I think she had to close the yoga pants article's comments because she got a strong negative reaction directed at her husband. However, when you look at the comments he made that she chose to post:

Ă¢â‚¬Å“Yoga pants make it difficult to work out when the girls are right there and the pants are so tight, itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s basically like the woman is naked. A friend of mine even said when a girl wears yoga pantsĂ¢â‚¬Â¦ it shows all the form and features while covering up flaws, like imperfections of the skin or cellulite. They are designed to be appealing.Ă¢â‚¬Â - Mr. M
 

Ă¢â‚¬Å“The more you cover up the more [a Christian man] will want you. Men like mystery, and when you reveal that mystery walking down the street, there is no reason for them to pursue you. TheyĂ¢â‚¬â„¢ve already gotten their reward.Ă¢â‚¬ Ă¢â‚¬â€œ Mr. M

 

As we walked into the estate store Mr. M glanced at my outfit. The pants I had found in my harried search were work out capris Ă¢â‚¬â€œ otherwise known as yoga pants. Ă¢â‚¬Å“You knowĂ¢â‚¬Â¦Ă¢â‚¬ He said. Ă¢â‚¬Å“You are dressed a lot like those girls you always comment on at the gym.Ă¢â‚¬

We had talked about this before. Mr. M has requested, not commanded, that I refrain from wearing the pants to the gym, and really not in public at all.  But IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢d ignored the request, and here I was walking down the sidewalk in them.

Ă¢â‚¬Å“I was kind of surprised you wore them.Ă¢â‚¬ He said sadly.

I picked at the tag on a buffet table, glancing at myself in a mirror in the corner. It was just one request he had made Ă¢â‚¬â€œ a request based on what he knew of his own male mind and the minds of the men around him. But I wanted MY way, so I ignored it.

 

 

From her own words: I want to trust Mr. M around you. I want you to trust your husbands around me.

 

 

Additionally, a young man in a menĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s group Mr. M once attended upheld this view. He told the men it was tough for him to try to work out, where there are girls wearing yoga pants doing stretches right beside him. It was a struggle not to lust after them. He would have to make himself leave the vicinity to do his workout with the still-present threat of remembering their image and stumbling later on. Yet another friend told Mr. M that it pained and concerned him that his girlfriend would go to the gym in her yoga pants to work with her personal trainer, but he didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t feel he could ask her to stop without being perceived as controlling.


Also, in her own words:

 

But there are consequences.

The issue here is not that I wore yoga pants. The issue isnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t yoga pants at all, but the principle of the matter. The pants are skin tight. You can see every curve of my lower body. Not only is it attractive to Mr. M, but from several informal interviews, comments, and input from other men, itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s a recurring blind spot with Christian women everywhere. ItĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s about how hot I look, or how I want to dress, regardless of what anybody thinks.

 

 

 Now, reading that article AS a woman who covers her head and whole body and usually face as well, this gives me a viscerally negative reaction. And I just cannot fathom my own husband, who again literally spent the first chunk of his life in Saudi Arabia of all places, saying such things (or thinking them). 

 

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I liked it. Bullet proof vest on. Are we really saying boys aren't distracted from important things by pretty girls in tight clothing? Because I must disagree. Now it is on young men to maintain focus and not picture what's going on under the tight sweater However, there are things I find distracting and I appreciate when people minimize distractions.... Not sure what is so wrong with being glad for that exactly?

I agree with what you're saying (I'd like to add "young and old men" though ;) ). For me it was the idea that she doesn't appear to actually *know* any of these people, yet she can project so much onto them based on... What? That the "girls" (does she say how old they are?) in front of her know how to dress (what I would probably consider to be) appropriately for a situation?

Her assumptions about the young man are a bit insulting to me, too. I'm going to assume that my sons will look at people they find attractive, especially if you put them in an environment where they have nothing else to do except look straight ahead and think for an hour. I would venture to guess (if they turn out like their dad) that they would actually spend more time "thinking" about those "proper" girls than young women dressed in a short skirt and low cut, midriff-showing tank top.

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I think she had to close the yoga pants article's comments because she got a strong negative reaction directed at her husband. However, when you look at the comments he made that she chose to post:

 

Ă¢â‚¬Å“Yoga pants make it difficult to work out when the girls are right there and the pants are so tight, itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s basically like the woman is naked. A friend of mine even said when a girl wears yoga pantsĂ¢â‚¬Â¦ it shows all the form and features while covering up flaws, like imperfections of the skin or cellulite. They are designed to be appealing.Ă¢â‚¬Â - Mr. M

 

Ă¢â‚¬Å“The more you cover up the more [a Christian man] will want you. Men like mystery, and when you reveal that mystery walking down the street, there is no reason for them to pursue you. TheyĂ¢â‚¬â„¢ve already gotten their reward.Ă¢â‚¬ Ă¢â‚¬â€œ Mr. M

 

From her own words: I want to trust Mr. M around you. I want you to trust your husbands around me.

 

 

 Now, reading that article AS a woman who covers her head and whole body and usually face as well, this gives me a viscerally negative reaction. And I just cannot fathom my own husband, who again literally spent the first chunk of his life in Saudi Arabia of all places, saying such things (or thinking them). 

 

OMGosh, I skimmed so much that I misunderstood.  Her HUSBAND said that??  And they posted this online and didn't see the problem?  I thought those were HER thoughts!  Wow, what a great husband... NOT.

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I think she had to close the yoga pants article's comments because she got a strong negative reaction directed at her husband. However, when you look at the comments he made that she chose to post:

 

Ă¢â‚¬Å“Yoga pants make it difficult to work out when the girls are right there and the pants are so tight, itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s basically like the woman is naked. A friend of mine even said when a girl wears yoga pantsĂ¢â‚¬Â¦ it shows all the form and features while covering up flaws, like imperfections of the skin or cellulite. They are designed to be appealing.Ă¢â‚¬Â - Mr. M

 

Ă¢â‚¬Å“The more you cover up the more [a Christian man] will want you. Men like mystery, and when you reveal that mystery walking down the street, there is no reason for them to pursue you. TheyĂ¢â‚¬â„¢ve already gotten their reward.Ă¢â‚¬ Ă¢â‚¬â€œ Mr. M

 

As we walked into the estate store Mr. M glanced at my outfit. The pants I had found in my harried search were work out capris Ă¢â‚¬â€œ otherwise known as yoga pants. Ă¢â‚¬Å“You knowĂ¢â‚¬Â¦Ă¢â‚¬ He said. Ă¢â‚¬Å“You are dressed a lot like those girls you always comment on at the gym.Ă¢â‚¬

We had talked about this before. Mr. M has requested, not commanded, that I refrain from wearing the pants to the gym, and really not in public at all.  But IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢d ignored the request, and here I was walking down the sidewalk in them.

Ă¢â‚¬Å“I was kind of surprised you wore them.Ă¢â‚¬ He said sadly.

I picked at the tag on a buffet table, glancing at myself in a mirror in the corner. It was just one request he had made Ă¢â‚¬â€œ a request based on what he knew of his own male mind and the minds of the men around him. But I wanted MY way, so I ignored it.

 

 

 

From her own words: I want to trust Mr. M around you. I want you to trust your husbands around me.

 

 

Additionally, a young man in a menĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s group Mr. M once attended upheld this view. He told the men it was tough for him to try to work out, where there are girls wearing yoga pants doing stretches right beside him. It was a struggle not to lust after them. He would have to make himself leave the vicinity to do his workout with the still-present threat of remembering their image and stumbling later on. Yet another friend told Mr. M that it pained and concerned him that his girlfriend would go to the gym in her yoga pants to work with her personal trainer, but he didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t feel he could ask her to stop without being perceived as controlling.

 

 

Also, in her own words:

 

But there are consequences.

The issue here is not that I wore yoga pants. The issue isnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t yoga pants at all, but the principle of the matter. The pants are skin tight. You can see every curve of my lower body. Not only is it attractive to Mr. M, but from several informal interviews, comments, and input from other men, itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s a recurring blind spot with Christian women everywhere. ItĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s about how hot I look, or how I want to dress, regardless of what anybody thinks.

 

 

 

 Now, reading that article AS a woman who covers her head and whole body and usually face as well, this gives me a viscerally negative reaction. And I just cannot fathom my own husband, who again literally spent the first chunk of his life in Saudi Arabia of all places, saying such things (or thinking them). 

 

Their statements are contradictory.

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I would be inclined to agree with y'all that her attitude in some other posts is irritating. 

 

And I do have to add. . .isn't most clothing (including modest clothing) designed to not look awful? Thus, we can say it's designed to be attractive, can we not? I thought yoga pants were designed to be easy to work out in. Or just plain comfortable...  :huh:

 

I don't think it's appropriate to wear too tight of yoga pants, yes. But just yoga pants in general? I don't see the issue!

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I shudder to think what Mr and Mrs M would have thought if they had been old enough to go to the gym back in the 80's.

 

We were teaching our aerobics classes in thong leotards and tights. :D

 

And some of the women weren't wearing the tights. ;)

 

Somehow, though, all of the men managed to control their lust. :rolleyes:

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I liked it. Bullet proof vest on. Are we really saying boys aren't distracted from important things by pretty girls in tight clothing? Because I must disagree. Now it is on young men to maintain focus and not picture what's going on under the tight sweater However, there are things I find distracting and I appreciate when people minimize distractions.... Not sure what is so wrong with being glad for that exactly?

 

I don't think anyone is saying young men aren't distracted by pretty girls in tight clothing. Young men are distracted by girls, and vice versa. Period.

 

BUT.

 

The judgment. Bleah. 

 

Young men and young women can imagine what's under a sweater whether it's tight or not. And that's really the crux of the matter. There are attractive young people in churches, and they look at each other, and that's pretty normal. It's the assumptions that this blogger makes about the young girls, about the young man, and about what the people around her are thinking and feeling about what the girls are wearing that are offensive.

 

It's NONE of her business.

 

Cat

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http://phyliciadelta.com/to-the-girls-in-the-pew-ahead-of-me/

 

Ew. The subtle, passive/aggressive syrupy sweet approach is more evil than direct commentary on modesty.

 

Control, slut shaming, and misogyny wrapped in evangelical "gratitude."

So wait...being thankful and praising young ladies who have chosen to dress modestly is now "slut shaming?" Get real. So when someone comes up to children in public and compliments them on their manners...are they "brat shaming" other kids who act like holy terrors? How about we don't pick every thing apart, and assume motives of someone you don't know?

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I shudder to think what Mr and Mrs M would have thought if they had been old enough to go to the gym back in the 80's.

 

We were teaching our aerobics classes in thong leotards and tights. :D

 

And some of the women weren't wearing the tights. ;)

 

Somehow, though, all of the men managed to control their lust. :rolleyes:

 

 

It's not my problem if her husband and his ilk are looking at my rear end while I do squats at the gym. It's just not. If that's a problem, you can leave the gym and work out in solitude at home.

 

Yeah, that irritates me.  Women should be able to work out, or go swimming, or to gymnastics, and so on and so forth in the appropriate clothing without men feeling this way.  

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I shudder to think what Mr and Mrs M would have thought if they had been old enough to go to the gym back in the 80's.

 

We were teaching our aerobics classes in thong leotards and tights. :D

 

And some of the women weren't wearing the tights. ;)

 

Somehow, though, all of the men managed to control their lust. :rolleyes:

Not only were Mrs and Mr M not old enough for the gym in the 1980s, by my reckoning at least one of them wasn't even alive in the 80s. She turned 24 this year. She was born in 1990. He doesn't look much, if any, older.

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