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Was high school a horror house for you?


Guest BobbyStephens
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Was high school a horror house for you?  

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  1. 1. Was high school a horror house for you?

    • Yes
      26
    • No
      73


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Guest BobbyStephens

I have something to point out from this article I have read recently. ( http://thethingswomenwant.com/going-back-school/ ) The point was “Relating to your peersâ€. For some pupil it becomes an issue of concern, mostly for the drop out kids. I have heard many stories about how high school turned out be the horror house of the introverts and timid children and how they dropped out from there. What is your experience about your high school? Did you ever felt like dropping it right away?

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Well, no, I never thought of dropping out of high school completely. What would I have done if I'd dropped out at the beginning of high school? My mother would not have allowed such a thing.

 

But your article is about mature (=older) adults going to college and really not about high school problems so I don't see the "relating to your peers" idea there as having to do with being a HS dropout.

 

Frankly I would have had trouble relating to my peers as a high school dropout.

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Guest BobbyStephens

Well, no, I never thought of dropping out of high school completely. What would I have done if I'd dropped out at the beginning of high school? My mother would not have allowed such a thing.

 

But your article is about mature (=older) adults going to college and really not about high school problems so I don't see the "relating to your peers" idea there as having to do with being a HS dropout.

 

Frankly I would have had trouble relating to my peers as a high school dropout.

 

Well, it was a random thought that came to me... I meant "Relating to your peers" is mostly seen as a concern, whether you are a HS dropout or a mature student going back to college. My high school days were troublesome. But I never actually dropped out. Truly speaking, I often felt like giving up!

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No. High school was ok. I wasn't one of the cool kids or anything, but OTOH, my stepfather was in the Navy and I went to four high schools in three states. ::shrugs::

 

Junior high was fine, too, except for about 2/3 of 8th grade, when I sat among the original Mean Girls, who relentlessly mocked me every.single.morning during home room. We moved towards the end of the school year (into military housing), but I gotta tell you...those 15 minutes a day scarred me for life. Ugh.

 

But high school...meh...

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Nope. I went to a small rural high school.  it was civil and orderly.. There was zero class time spent on discipline. No one dropped out, at 16 or any other age.. No one outside of special ed lacked reading skills, unlike today's dropouts.

 

:iagree: Similar situation

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I loved high school. But I went to a magnet school with excellent academics. The humanities program was classically influenced. I got to take great humanities electives and three different foreign languages. The school was very diverse in terms of peer opportunities and not like a stereotypical movie high school with the pretty girls and jocks on top. I remember once going to see a friend play basketball and sitting above the cheerleaders. Two of them were doing their calculus homework between cheers because it was that kind of school - where most kids were at least a little brainy.

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I loved high school. But I went to a magnet school with excellent academics. The humanities program was classically influenced. I got to take great humanities electives and three different foreign languages. The school was very diverse in terms of peer opportunities and not like a stereotypical movie high school with the pretty girls and jocks on top. I remember once going to see a friend play basketball and sitting above the cheerleaders. Two of them were doing their calculus homework between cheers because it was that kind of school - where most kids were at least a little brainy.

 

 

I went to a very good public school and had a similar experience.  It was quite competitive academically and I loved every minute of it. While we had althletics we really didn't ever have that jocks/mean girls culture either. Growing up i honestly thought that was something exaggerated for TV and the movies.  I never knew anyone who dropped out of high school, but to be honest most kids headed down that path probably would have went to one of the many vocational high schools rather than the public school.  We didn't have a lunch period in high school so perhpas that eliminated time for drama as well.  School ended at 1:05 so students could do afterschool activities or go to their part time job.

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I went to a parochial school and it was a mind-numbingly boring waste of 4 years of my life.  I had a couple of decent English teachers, but that was it.  I remember my Bio teacher in 9th grade had to give us a study hall once a week so he could read ahead in the book.  I so, so wish we had known about DE, it would have rocked my world to have actually learned something in high school.

 

But no, I didn't have any trouble relating to my peers.  They were bored, too.  ;)

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I was treading water in high school.

 

Academically, it was a waste of time. I was engaged in multiple extracurriculars, working multiple jobs, and seriously dating adults.

 

I wanted to skip high school and go to college early, but my parents (who both did just that  :glare: ) told me to stay. They sited immaturity, but I think they really just didn't want their baby to grow up. FWIW, my older brothers were both out of the house by 17, in varying circumstances. We grow up fast in my family, and I think they just wanted to hold onto me. 

 

My dad apologized to me the day on my graduation. He agreed that it had been a waste of time, and set me back academically. Sigh. At least I was still 17, so it wasn't too much time lost. 

 

Socially, it was fine. I spent 90% of my time playing. Most of my classes were silly. I had class periods for choir, swim team, tutoring elementary kids. I had solid friendships that I brought with me. Most fell away as they left school or otherwise moved on. Eh. I broke even. 

 

 

ETA: I went to a very large, high ranking public school in Los Angeles. The school was fine. I just didn't belong there. 

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Nope. I went to a small rural high school. While there were bullies, it was civil and orderly.. There was zero class time spent on discipline. No one dropped out, at 16 or any other age.The one girl that became a parent continued and graduated on time. No one outside of special ed lacked reading skills, unlike today's dropouts.

That describes my high school except my school was probably bigger, there were 300 students in my graduating class.

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I dropped out and have no regrets. I got my GED and ended up with a great job. I moved into my own apartment as soon as I turned 18, saved up money, and moved to the west coast and ended up with an even better job. I don't think that would ever happen today because it appears you need at least an associate's degree to even answer a phone.

 

I didn't hate the social aspects of high school, though, and am still close friends with a few people. It was a small town and I was/am an introvert, but I was also a cheerleader. I don't know how that happened but it was the only athletic activity I did.

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I went to high school in a picturesque mountain town in Georgia- everyone called it "Mayberry" or "Gods Country" and praised the schools for not being a mess like those "inner city schools".

 

Our county had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state at one point. From 7th grade on, there was at least one girl pregnant- by 12th grade it was completely normal to see pregnant girls in school.

 

Drug use was high. Alcohol use was high. There was nothing to do, so kids just hung out and got high/drunk/partied. The only (few) sports that were available were through school or the small park and rec. Only the popular "good ole boys" kids were selected to play.

 

The good 'ole boy system was prevalent. If you were one of those people whose family has lived there since the dawn of time, you were like royalty- you got preferential treatment and could do no wrong.

 

Black people (and the nasty girls who dated black boys, like me) were treated like second class citizens. I saw one of my friends get jumped and beaten up with metal pipes because he dared to date a white girl. This was in 1999, btw, not 1959. Of course, the black people who were athletically gifted were treated a lot better- though no one would actually invite them over for a sleepover or anything.

 

It was common "knowledge" that black people were descended from "that guy in the Bible who was an evil sinner and went into the fire and lived through it but was black forever".

 

My 9th grade History/Geography teacher was fired for sleeping with a student.

 

My Algebra teacher hit on me.

 

My AP Literature teacher and her boyfriend, another teacher, were arrested while at school because the drug sniffing dogs found pot in their car- and then it was found that they actually had pot in their system while at a school. They were gone for 2-3 months and then came back like nothing had ever happened.

 

We had so many people drop out, it's ridiculous. Several people I knew dropped out senior year!!

 

Despite all that, no it wasn't a house of horror. I made good friends. I was in the marching band. Had some good teachers, good memories.

 

But I would never, ever, in a million years want to go live on the country and send my child to such a school. *shudder*

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No. I went to two high schools in different states. They were academically adequate to good (an improvement over elementary and middle). I didn't have much time to socialize (had to be home for babysitting), but most people were decent enough. I played the game and escaped to college, collecting Mr. Right on my way out of town.

 

I loved college.

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I went to a large, well-funded high school in a very wealthy area of northern NJ. It was...okay, I guess. But there were a lot of weird things going on behind the scenes. Social success depended largely on how much you partied, and with whom. You really had to have the right "pedigree" to fit in. Which I did not.

 

Drug use was rampant, and on occasion, police dogs were brought in to search lockers for illegal substances.

 

At least one teacher had a major drug habit that he couldn't always hide from students He showed up stoned for sports events or dances he had to chaperone. He also flirted frequently with the girls. He died fairly young, of drug related health problems. 

 

Another teacher conducted a long term affair with a student and then eventually married her after she graduated. 

 

Another teacher, who'd been left at the altar on her wedding day and NEVER got over it, spent a good few years preening over being the youngest teacher in the school and flirted with all the [popular] boys.

 

Another teacher was suspended and underwent a long term police investigation after being accused of inappropriate behavior with a student. I don't recall what the verdict was. I think he resigned. 

 

You get the idea... lots of weird behavior between students and teachers. All of it existed just below the fringe. 

 

I mostly drifted through my course work, and became an expert at getting out of class. Looking back, I find it was a huge waste of time.

 

Also... I had a stalker during my senior year. I didn't find out about it until after I graduated, but apparently, someone started leaving VERY CREEPY messages for me on our family's answering machine: (he was watching me, knew my class schedule well, saw me at my locker, biding his time, etc.). My mom saved the tapes and took them into the guidance office, but none of the staff could identify the voice. So, unbeknownst to me, the staff and teachers spent that year watching me very closely, to make sure nothing happened. Nothing did, and they never did figure out who it was. But... still... EWWWW!

 

And all this at one of the most expensive, prestigious public high schools in the state. Ick. 

 

Planning on homeschooling high school here. Definitely.

 

 

 

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Of all the drop outs o personally know from my peer group none of them dropped out because they were introverts and couldn't cope with high school. They dropped out for various reasons all stemming from a bad home life. Some dropped out because of drugs, others because they did poorly in school either because they refused to try or because they had no support from family.

 

The timid and introverted kids were not the ones dropping out. They mostly kept to themselves or a small group of other timid students and just got through the years. I'm an introvert but was able to cope easily with highschool because I'm the youngest of 9 so I was used to different personalities being forced to deal with each other. I was in no way timid so on the rare occasions that someone free to start something with me I quickly made it clear I wasn't going to let it happen

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I didn't drop out because that wouldn't have served my purposes at all, and I had a pretty decent high school experience.  I was largely bored, academically, but I did a lot of activities.  I especially did a ton of activities, tutoring ESL students, assisting teachers, taking college classes in my junior and senior years to distract myself from being very lonely because my boyfriend went away to college.  My college application was nicely well-rounded, and all that effort netted me a hefty scholarship and an early graduation so that I could marry said boyfriend sooner.

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I went to a tiny and fairly unique high school with some pretty amazing teachers and peers. I had a great time. It was also the only school I ever went to for more than a year straight. In fact, when my parents decided to move about 30 miles north of the city (easily 1.5 hours on the bus) between 10th and 11th grades, I stayed at my school and basically lived out of my backpack during the week and went home intially for part of the week, then weekends and then as little as humanly possible. I was friendly and responsible and had no shortage of friends' parents willing to let me sleep over, even on school nights. The school was like my Hogwarts. I was very happy there and felt like part of something for the first time.

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I never considered dropping out but I hated high school with a passion. I was bored and didn't really have friends. I just wanted it to end. I didn't relate to my peers and people did start bullying me for being introverted and not into partying. The majority of my friends were older than me and not in high school. It was the worse time period of my life. I now have friended some of the people that were not mean on Facebook and experienced a catharsis of sorts realizing not everyone was bad.

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High school was just kind of "bleh." When I started puberty, I also became attention-deficit, and it got worse in college. It was never caught until I was a faltering adult and went to therapy on my own. I have needed therapy to get through every single difficult situation since high school. I believe I may have Asperger's, but I have never actually sought an MD's diagnosis. 

 

For me, my high school was as good as it could have been. It was academically rigorous and it was socially diverse. I hung out with the theatre arts kids and musicians, having deep conversations and very rowdy, fun get-togethers any night of the week by senior year. I did enjoy high school and learned how to be more extroverted. But it came with a major change in my academic abilities. I had been a high-achieving introvert in grade school and suddenly I was just "winging it" through and turning more socially extroverted. But I think I had been one of those kids under so much pressure, in grade school, that I just studied hard-- because it was hard for me and I didn't want to fail-- but I never really got ahead. It never really stuck as a habit, and the learning did not inspire me. I would say grade school was a bigger failure than high school. 

 

I do not think, due to the differences among high-school age children, that HS prepares students for what it says it prepares them for. That is, not all children who leave high school will be ready for careers and adult life or college. I think the programs that exist in Quebec for an intermediary year or number of years between high school or college are intuitively a good idea, though I do not know if they improve adult outcomes.  

 

The biggest fault I see with high school is that it is a big race; it is where you are sorted. You are either going to get a great scholarship and head into adulthood with a really strong start in academics and money, or you are going to take out a large loan to go to a mediocre college. Or you will forego college completely and suffer the consequences. That part of it was what made me glad to leave. I learned nothing about becoming an adult except that I was damned if I couldn't get a scholarship, and damned if I tried to skip college and enter the workforce. I ended up going to college, dropping out, becoming the mom who is interested in homeschooling. But I really regret not having a strong start, feeling like I failed at the one thing my 12 years of education were preparing me for. 

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High school was overall a good experience. I attended a public high school, in a mediocre district. I never considered dropping out, and my parents would never have allowed such a thing anyway. I usually found high school boring, and was very eager to get to college (this could have to do with having a boyfriend that was in college during my high school years. :-) ). But, no, high school wasn't horrific in any way. I am an introvert, but I was very involved in music/band/jazz band, had friends, took honors classes, etc.

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I loved it. I found my niche in the music department and poured myself into it. My entire afternoon was spent in choir, jazz choir, show choir, etc. My choir teacher really believed in me and took me under his wing. I felt like a butterfly who broke out of the cocoon and absolutely found my passion, which still continues today.

 

Academically? Don't remember much about that.

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I think the key to thriving in middle/high school is to belong to a smaller, special interest group, club or team. Finding a small group of varied-aged people with similar interests, then working together to create/do something worthwhile, made high school a positive experience. The academic classes were not the enjoyable part - just the stress.

 

I wish I had joined more groups/clubs with more variety. I missed out on some great opportunities. I was on the swim club and cross-country running, which were both fun, but it wasn't varied enough. I could have learned so much more had I spread my wings and dared to join something a little different.

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No interest in dropping out then.  I liked the academics, and I liked Debate Club.  Those and my beloved Aunt who was head of the history department there kept me going.

 

My home life was a mess by then, and frankly I was so happy to get out of there and go to college.  It taught me a lesson about how important caring teachers can be.  School was my oasis. 

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I used to think high school was a complete waste of time and a joke when I was attending. I didn't want to drop out, but I begged my parents to let me complete it through independent study. They wouldn't let me, so I just coasted through, not really learning much despite being placed in the college prep track. I fell in with the wrong crowd and participated in activities that would seriously affect my self-esteem throughout early adulthood. Looking back, I see that my experience would have been completely different had my home life been different. My parents were too busy working and I was too mischievous which was not a good combo! I would die if my children were to do the things that I did at that age, but then, of course, I don't think we will have that problem since I am present and would be even if they were in a brick and mortar.

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The biggest fault I see with high school is that it is a big race ...

 

Yes! I really wish that I had been encouraged more to enjoy the journey and taken advantage of more opportunities that were actually available right in the school. There always seemed to be the focus on what you would do when you finished. This got even worse in University.

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I went to a small "magnet" high school that you had to apply to and get accepted to attend...It was a public school that only accepted 125 freshmen and did not add any students the following years...If you did not maintain a certain grade point average you were expelled and had to attend whatever high school was in your district...I lived in the inner city (the ghetto), so my district school was not a place I wanted to be...I never thought about dropping out of school ever...No one in my school dropped out; it just wasn't an option anyone considered I guess...Our class got smaller every year though, and I ended up graduating in a class of 54...

 

I am an outgoing, social person and I did not enjoy high school at all...I did not enjoy the social aspects, the school work, nothing...I had a few friends that I enjoyed seeing, but other than that, I was not happy there...I can still remember things that negatively impacted my life from being in high school...

 

I don't know if it was a horror house, but it wasn't a fun house either...

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I did not love high school (jr. high was pure torture-new kid, shy, completely different culture moving from New England to San Diego.) I had some good times and some horrible times. I was a very shy, insecure kid and of course became a target for a few. I was in band, so that didn't help. Because of some family issues, because I got sick of dealing with immature kids at school, and because I had more than enough credits because of band, I graduated a semester early and got a full-time job to earn money for college in the fall.

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I don't know anyone who completely dropped out, but I knew several kids who couldn't hack it academically at the high-performing PS in my town and who transferred to private schools with a reputation for catering to dumb-but-wealthy kids. I presume they all graduated, but I don't actually know that for certain.

 

Middle school was torture due to bullying and cliquishness but by 9th grade the bullies had moved on to just ignoring me (that suited me just fine) and the friends who had abandoned me fearing they'd become the next targets had apologized. I was bored academically but socially it was okay.

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I hated high school. In my case, I had been waiting patiently since late elementary for school to get better. In sixth grade, I was assured that middle should would be better, because I would get to pick some of my own classes, and there would be clubs and activities . . . Of course, it turned out that none of the electives I wanted to take ever ran, because there weren't enough other students who cared about Shakespeare or theatre or science fiction or Latin or whatever else I thought sounded cool to make it worth the school's time to put them on the schedule. They existed in the catalogue, but not on the campus.

 

The popular kids were mean. I was fat and had frizzy hair. It wasn't a good time.

 

My guidance counselor begged me to hang on until high school, when there would be so many more classes to choose from and other smart kids to befriend and opportunities to really stretch my brain . . . 

 

I tried for two years to get into French, but it was always full. I ended up in Spanish, which is where the kids who didn't want to take a foreign language at all landed because it was reputed to be easier than French or German. My school -- despite being well thought of and nestled in a middle class suburb -- offered virtually no AP classes, and I had never heard of dual enrollment. We had no theatre program at all, even as an extracurricular. The popular kids were still mean, and I was still fat and frizzy.

 

After the first year, I gave in to boredom and pretty much quit going. By the time I was coerced into going back, I was too far behind to graduate with my class, at which point my parents finally agreed to let me take the equivalency exam and "drop out." I started classes at the community college the following week, which made life okay again.

 

So, while I wouldn't describe high school as a "horror house," it was definitely an unpleasant phase of my life and, as far as I'm concerned, a total waste of my time and energy.

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The popular kids were mean. I was fat and had frizzy hair. It wasn't a good time.

 

The mean girls will pick on you regardless of your attractiveness- they'll just find something else to bully you over. Not having the "right" designer label on my clothes and my parents driving economy vehicles instead of a luxury German brand were major factors in my getting targeted.

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Junior high was a horror house for a lot of reasons, most having to do with undiagnosed and unremediated learning issues.  But high school was really amazing.  I loved it, mostly for social reasons, but there were academic reasons in there as well.

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Guest BobbyStephens

Reading the replies I felt most of them actually loved their high school days! To make things easier, I have added a poll !!! :001_smile:

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