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Focusing Issue with my 3rd grader/Trying to get through her stuyding fast


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Hi everyone, 

Wondering how do you get your 8 year old to stay focus and remember what she learned.  It's like if we don't review it everyday she won't remember.  She sits there with her homework and finds excuses to go to the bathroom, sharpen a pencil, etc.  I don't know how to get her to stay focus at school and at home.  Her last year teacher has said the same thing that she doesn't stay focus in class, but when she does it's great.  It takes us almost the whole day to get our studying done and it's only a 30 min. lesson.

Also, she just wants to hurry up with the homework and be done with it so it's messy, etc.  She hates studying!!!!!!

She will also try to hurrying up in writing in school so she can be done and get to do some fun stuff.  I have talked with the teacher and said that her handwriting is so much better and if the teacher sees it she is to redo it.  It helped a little bit to talk to her teacher, but now she is going into 3rd grade and I don't know maybe I need to discuss it with the 3rd grade teacher too.

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My eldest has had similar problems.  Thankfully, she cares to do well in school, but she doesn't always know how to make that happen.  I do a lot of coaching and trying to make her understand the importance of listening carefully to teacher instructions, and getting the work done first (at school and at home) before allowing fun stuff to distract her.  I try to avoid the temptation to fill up all available time with more work, so when she is efficient, she is rewarded with free time.  (I used to give them screen time sometimes as a reward, but this year I am avoiding that in favor of more sleep.  :))

 

I have a book called "see it, say it, do it" and the "organize it" supplement.  I read the book a while ago and thought it was great and planned on implementing the ideas and working through "organize it" with my kid during the summer.  This has not happened yet, but you might want to look into that, because it is a way to meet kids where they are and help them rise to a new level of responsibility.

 

My kids started 3rd grade yesterday, and the first thing the teacher did was give everyone an "assignment book" (spiral organizer).  I told my girls this means 3rd graders are expected to take more responsibility at school and their teacher will be expecting that.  Perhaps focusing on the tasks specific to organizing will help.  (Or not.  :P)  Time will tell.

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Your daughter sounds like my son who has ADD, especially the part about the handwriting and the fiddling around and calling it "doing homework." Public school won't recommend testing for ADD until she's two years behind grade level. You can get the test (it's called a psycho-educational evaluation) privately from a mental health provider for about $800 (not covered by insurance). A third grader is old enough to diagnose. If you are absolutely sure you don't want her on the medicine, there's probably no reason to test her, unless you want an 504 plan from the school that would give her more time on tests plus the other accommodations the psych. recommends.  I can vouch that homework time and the handwriting problem are vastly improved with the medicine. Organizational skills are not, so it wouldn't hurt to try teaching it to her. 

 

Something you could try right now is the Feingold diet for ADD, see if it would improve her symptoms enough to get by. Give it a three week trial to judge if it is working. 

 

My plan for homework: find out from the teacher how long it should take her to complete it. Clean off your kitchen table completely. Set a timer for 15 min. Take away all toys and fidgets. Sit beside her to help her and when she spaces out, tap the book and say something like, "We're on number two." Don't get frustrated and fussy with her. Very gently re-direct her attention as many times as necessary. When the time is up, find a physical chore for her to do, for instance, take out all the trash, pick up dirty clothes and sort them, take a bath, make tomorrow's lunch, sharpen the pencils, have a snack. Don't let her play during the breaks, and don't let her play video games at all until the homework is completed. When she's finished with her chore, start the timer for another 15 min.

 

If you're homeschooling, get very structured. Set timers for each class period. Online-stopwatch.com is a great resource for making a timed schedule. Check out the interval timer on that site. That way you will cover all subjects in spite of the dawdling. Anything not completed in the class period becomes homework.

 

Good luck!  

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What has helped is structure. When we get home they have snacks, bathroom breaks, then each child gets a pencil and I just sit nearby while they get homework completed.

If I let them have their pencil boxes, they would play with the contents so work gets done faster with a pencil. No clutter in their work area too as it is distracting. Timer helps. My older would complain that he has been doing work a long time but the timer don't lie so he gets back on task :). They have daily German homework from Saturday class.

My 8 year old has been evaluated privately and not ADD. He gets distracted by squirrels though so no window seat for him.

Definitely discuss with the teacher. Keeping the communications channels open has always been helpful for my boys.

 

ETA:

I agree with SKL. Don't overshare. I let my kids teachers raise the issue.

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Personally I am afraid to discuss this stuff with my kids' teacher at the present time.  I am afraid that in the past, I shared too much too early and biased the teacher to assume things about my kid, when the benefit of the doubt would have been more appropriate.

 

Down the line if there are issues, then I might speak to the teacher about them.

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My son's 2nd grade teacher uses some techniques. She will ask him to prepare to be asked 2 questions and ask at least 1 question before she starts her lesson so he will focus to listen at least some. She will break down his assignment into small chucks so he can keep moving. If it still does not work, she will take out timer to help. So far I do not have problem with his homework. He does it in aftercare including Chinese homework from Saturday school. But same he has problem to rush through all his works. We have to keep reminding him to slow down and do it well. Otherwise, he will need to redo everything over again. For study skills, his tutor is coaching him summarize the materials he reads and taking notes.

 

Today is our 1st day of 3rd grade and we still have jet lag since we just came back two days ago. My son has been assigned to inclusive class this year and there will have two teachers in his class to keep him focus. We did take him to developmental pediatrician (pediatric neurologist) in August and was diagnosed with minor ADD with no learning disability even his reading/writing is still 6 month behind. Our school provides great help. He gets small group reading support 5x per week and writing support 2x per week. This school year, child study team will also observe his class performance to determine if he needs more support.

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