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JAWM- Overwhelmed already and we haven't even started yet


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I am not looking forward to homeschool this year.  I have all the curriculum for both kids, and everything is scheduled out.  And it already feels overloaded and overwhelming, and we haven’t even started yet.  I can’t take it easy because DD is starting high school and DS is moving into middle, and both hope to go to college (and we need scholarship money to make that happen), but I don’t want to do it.  Last year was super stressful with school often taking all day with many battles and tears just trying to get everything done.  This year, my plate is even more full what with being a single mom and all.  In addition to homeschool, I’m still in grad school myself, and I’m juggling three part time jobs.  I NEED school to go smoothly and get done independently and with a minimal of fuss.  And looking at our schedule, it’s going to be just as hairy as it was last year.  Ugh.  Sometimes I think unschoolers have the right idea, except of course, my kids are not the devise-your-own-project types.  Left to their own devises, they would do nothing at all.  *sigh*  I just don’t like starting the year already feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.

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 I NEED school to go smoothly and get done independently and with a minimal of fuss. 

 

I'm sorry.

 

Make sure they understand this and don't take any of their guff. Dole out consequences liberally.

 

It's a lot to take on. Make sure they shoulder their part of the load. And make sure you let them, too.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: 

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:grouphug:  Hugs for you Momma.  Remember the best way to eat and elephant is one bite at a time.  Take things one day at a time.  When you have some spare time, read Lee Binz's website http://www.thehomescholar.com/  Take in as many of her free webinar's as possible. (Yes, they are glorified advertisements for her products but you can glean from them also)  The transcript program completely calmed me down about high school.  Some of the advice I'm glad I have now since my boy is going into grade 8.  I was able to adjust some things and have gotten a system in place to track some items that will be important when he is in grade 12.

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Public school is out of the question.  DD is starting high school but she's only 12.  Absolutely no way would I put her in a public high school at that age.  Besides, she's very involved in her music, and the public school system here can't help her.  She had a high school "mentor" for band last year, and she knew more and played better than he did.  She came back to homeschooling in order to study music more intensely through other resources.  And DS would not do well in a public school environment.  He is significantly ahead in math, behind in spelling and writing, immature for his age, and impulsive.  It just wouldn't go well.

 

At least all of my commitments are things I can do from home.  All three part time jobs are home-based work with flexible scheduling.  And my grad school classes are all online, too.  I just wish homeschooling weren't such a trial.  I envy the folks whose kids find things to study for fun.  Mine don't.

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It sounds like they are going to at least need to device-their-own-motivation and work independently. If they are unable to at least do that, you either need some help or they need to go to a b&m school. No matter how wonderful your plans, if they don't do anything, they will have a hard time just getting into college. (((hugs))) :(

Mandy

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I couldn't do it. Three part time jobs plus single parenthood plus grad school plus homeschooling -- do you have support from someone, somewhere? Will you get any breaks?

 

Sometimes.  My mom lives nearby and is willing to take DD to her music and band classes from time to time.  And the kids have some evening activities (dance and aikido) which gives me a few hours of quiet during the week.  It would just be so much easier to get everything done if the kids would stay focused and get their work done without all the drama and theatrics.

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It sounds like they are going to at least need to device-their-own-motivation and work independently. If they are unable to at least do that, you either need some help or they need to go to a b&m school. No matter how wonderful your plans, if they don't do anything, they will have a hard time just getting into college. (((hugs))) :(

Mandy

 

It's not that they don't do anything.  They just don't work efficiently, and in DS's case, he procrastinates and easily loses focus.  He can make five math problems take hours.  And I don't have the time to sit and hold his hand to make sure he stays on task.  And DD is a very bright girl, but she tends to take the easy way out and doesn't always put in her best effort.

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If your dd is interested in majoring in music, have you looked into schools yet? Even if she is ahead academically, she may qualify for more music scholarship money if you hold off on high school for a year.

HTH-

Mandy

 

How?  Or maybe the question is why?  Will her age keep her from getting scholarships or something?  And yes, she plans to dual major in music and wildlife biology and, if I can find a school that offers all three, minor in dance.

 

ETA: I know she's doing a lot at a very young age, but she wants it, and I don't want to hold her back.

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Look into what all is expected of music majors. If she is starting high school and wants to major in music, there may be things she should be doing or lining up. I have no idea really. I just know that a friend's dd wants to major in music. Her twin went on and started high school, but she waited a year to get stuff lined up. She also started a second instrument because apparently that is something to do? She takes lessons and theory, but she also does chamber music and stuff at Blair in Nashville. She does performance or competitions or something, and she has been visiting music schools. As far as academics, I think most or maybe all of her academic classes are dual enrollment last year and will be again this year.

 

As far as the music thing, I have absolutely no idea. It's just maybe something to check on.

Mandy

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It sounds like my oldest two!  I will say to hang in there, though.  When dd was *almost* 13 maturity hit.  She went back to her pleasant, responsible self with her brain no longer mush and it made our lives so much easier.  We also moved to more independent work and I tried to give her some space.  At that age it all went in one ear and out the other.  I could swear my oldest two sound JUST like your oldest two.  Hang in there, if they want to take 5 hours to do some math, make it on their free time.  I ended up doing incentives (which I hated) and switching around programs until I found something that worked.  For ds that's TT and MEP worksheets.  And TONS of iPad learning games.  

 

Would it be easier for you to go down to the basics: math, reading, writing, and then do blocks of work in content areas? I've had to simplify a ton and pick programs like Galore Park and CGP that can be done more independently but aren't dry and boring.

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Look into what all is expected of music majors. If she is starting high school and wants to major in music, there may be things she should be doing or lining up. I have no idea really. I just know that a friend's dd wants to major in music. Her twin went on and started high school, but she waited a year to get stuff lined up. She also started a second instrument because apparently that is something to do? She takes lessons and theory, but she also does chamber music and stuff at Blair in Nashville. She does performance or competitions or something, and she has been visiting music schools. As far as academics, I think most or maybe all of her academic classes are dual enrollment last year and will be again this year.

 

As far as the music thing, I have absolutely no idea. It's just maybe something to check on.

Mandy

 

Thanks for the info.  It actually sounds like we're on the right track already.  DD takes private clarinet lessons and private theory/piano lessons.  She plays with a homeschool band two hours per week (plus four or five performances each year) and is auditioning for a local youth symphony (another two hours per week and another couple of performances).  She will be auditioning for the state district and all-state bands in the fall and will also likely be participating in a few music festivals (she did a solo festival and a middle school music festival last year).  Between all of her lessons and practice time and the music electives she does as part of homeschool, she's putting in about 12-15 hours per week of music.  And then there's dance... LOL...

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Is there anything you could drop from your middle schooler's schedule? When I was working full time and then heavy part time hours, some things went bye bye academically, and though I felt a bit of angst, all seemed to work out fine. This year, none of the kids is doing a foreign language (gasp). I think it will be fine. :)

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How?  Or maybe the question is why?  Will her age keep her from getting scholarships or something?  And yes, she plans to dual major in music and wildlife biology and, if I can find a school that offers all three, minor in dance.

 

ETA: I know she's doing a lot at a very young age, but she wants it, and I don't want to hold her back.

 

If she is interested in majoring in music then a significant portion of the application/scholarship process will involve auditioning so giving her another year to mature as a musician and improve may make her a much stronger candidate for admission/scholarships.  Our oldest really excelled in music (and played in our state youth orchestra and state jazz ensemble).  She is not majoring in music, as she found a real passion for molecular biology and biochemistry,  but many of her ensemble friends went through the process so and shared their experiences.

 

I seem to recall that your daughter has a late summer or early fall birthday so is she almost thirteen (and thus only one grade ahead of herself) or did she just turn twelve and will be a minimum of two years below her peers when she starts college?  Idependent of her competitiveness for music programs you may regret getting all ready and then realizing she really isn't in a good place to be halfway across the country at barely 16 even if she did just get into Juliard or Yale.

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If she is interested in majoring in music then a significant portion of the application/scholarship process will involve auditioning so giving her another year to mature as a musician and improve may make her a much stronger candidate for admission/scholarships.  Our oldest really excelled in music (and played in our state youth orchestra and state jazz ensemble).  She is not majoring in music, as she found a real passion for molecular biology and biochemistry,  but many of her ensemble friends went through the process so and shared their experiences.

 

I seem to recall that your daughter has a late summer or early fall birthday so is she almost thirteen (and thus only one grade ahead of herself) or did she just turn twelve and will be a minimum of two years below her peers when she starts college?  Idependent of her competitiveness for music programs you may regret getting all ready and then realizing she really isn't in a good place to be halfway across the country at barely 16 even if she did just get into Juliard or Yale.

 

She is an October birthday and so is almost 13.  If all goes well, she'll graduate at 16, and I have no idea what we'll do about college that fall yet.  Right now Juliard is not of interest to her because they don't offer the wildlife biology major that she also wants.  And just try finding a school that offers wildlife biology (specifically) and music majors AND a dance minor.  So far, it doesn't exist.  But, I still have four years to figure that one out. LOL...

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Is there anything you could drop from your middle schooler's schedule? When I was working full time and then heavy part time hours, some things went bye bye academically, and though I felt a bit of angst, all seemed to work out fine. This year, none of the kids is doing a foreign language (gasp). I think it will be fine. :)

 

No foreign languages here this year, either.  DS will start Spanish in 8th, and DD will start Gaelic (her choice) next year.

 

I can't come up with anything that I can drop from the schedule that will significantly impact our time spent.  The things that take DS the longest are the things he either wants to do (lots and lots of math) or things that he must do (writing) and that cannot be dropped.

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  And just try finding a school that offers wildlife biology (specifically) and music majors AND a dance minor.  So far, it doesn't exist.

 

University of Nevada at Reno.

 

Ruth in NZ who must be very connected to know of that one. :001_smile:

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She is an October birthday and so is almost 13.  If all goes well, she'll graduate at 16, and I have no idea what we'll do about college that fall yet.  Right now Juliard is not of interest to her because they don't offer the wildlife biology major that she also wants.  And just try finding a school that offers wildlife biology (specifically) and music majors AND a dance minor.  So far, it doesn't exist.  But, I still have four years to figure that one out. LOL...

 

Cornell has a decent music program (perhaps not really on the perceived level of some of the tippy top but decent opportunities).  At the same time they have a lot of great options for wildlife biology along with a great vet school if she aspires to go on an pursue her DVM. That might be one to take another look at.

 

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That's a lot on your plate.  I think you need to give yourself a mental break and expect to take a few weeks to get into the flow of things and find a rhythm. If this year falls completely apart is it really the end of the world considering that your daughter isn't even a teenager yet? Are you getting caught up in catastrophic, all or nothing thinking? 

 

Maybe the kids need to hear something like the original post here. (Which granted, isn't a whole lot to go on.) Ask them what they're going to do to be more responsible for their own homeschooling. Sit silently after you ask and give them a hard stare.  If your daughter is old enough to have people jump through hoops for her all college preferences, then she can get her own schooling done without a fuss and expecting you to babysit her.  Middle school is way to old for your son to be unable to get to work on those math problems.   It's time for them to do some giving and not just taking, if not, there should be some stiff consequences.

 

Oh, honey, my kids get an earful from me about how I'm willing to match what they put into something, but if they don't pony up and invest in themselves, I'm not going to go out of my way to smooth the road for them and bend over backwards to make things happen for them. This is a two way street and I expect some diligence on their part.  They're not little kids anymore. If they act like little kids then they can be treated like little kids. If you need someone to nag you to do your math problems, then you need someone to wipe your face, supervise you when you play outside and tuck you into bed at 8:00. If you can be so specific about which college you're willing to go to that meets your every desire, you can get a week's worth of assignments and manage your own time and get it done by 3:00pm on Friday. If not, you need to stop worrying about your adult education and focus on your childhood education and learning some basic self discipline and follow through so you can be ready for college.  Worry about college later when she's more mature. It's no shame to be unready for college at 16.

 

My oldest wanted to start community college at 14 like her friends.  No way.  It was still too much effort on my part to get her to finish her school work.  No one that immature should start college.  She started when she was 17 and showed me she could get things done on her own.  My middle daughter started community college at 15.  She could get things done on her own.  Is it fair that they weren't allowed to start at the same time?  Yes!  They started when they demonstrated they had some self discipline. 

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:grouphug:  I cannot even imagine what it is like to homeschool as a single mom.  I don't know how anyone accomplishes that.

 

FWIW, the times I NEED school to go smoothly are the times that they do not.  It is like the pressure of the need creates this huge burden that cannot be carried.  

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That's a lot on your plate.  I think you need to give yourself a mental break and expect to take a few weeks to get into the flow of things and find a rhythm. If this year falls completely apart is it really the end of the world considering that your daughter isn't even a teenager yet? Are you getting caught up in catastrophic, all or nothing thinking? 

 

Maybe the kids need to hear something like the original post here. (Which granted, isn't a whole lot to go on.) Ask them what they're going to do to be more responsible for their own homeschooling. Sit silently after you ask and give them a hard stare.  If your daughter is old enough to have people jump through hoops for her all college preferences, then she can get her own schooling done without a fuss and expecting you to babysit her.  Middle school is way to old for your son to be unable to get to work on those math problems.   It's time for them to do some giving and not just taking, if not, there should be some stiff consequences.

 

Oh, honey, my kids get an earful from me about how I'm willing to match what they put into something, but if they don't pony up and invest in themselves, I'm not going to go out of my way to smooth the road for them and bend over backwards to make things happen for them. This is a two way street and I expect some diligence on their part.  They're not little kids anymore. If they act like little kids then they can be treated like little kids. If you need someone to nag you to do your math problems, then you need someone to wipe your face, supervise you when you play outside and tuck you into bed at 8:00. If you can be so specific about which college you're willing to go to that meets your every desire, you can get a week's worth of assignments and manage your own time and get it done by 3:00pm on Friday. If not, you need to stop worrying about your adult education and focus on your childhood education and learning some basic self discipline and follow through so you can be ready for college.  Worry about college later when she's more mature. It's no shame to be unready for college at 16.

 

My oldest wanted to start community college at 14 like her friends.  No way.  It was still too much effort on my part to get her to finish her school work.  No one that immature should start college.  She started when she was 17 and showed me she could get things done on her own.  My middle daughter started community college at 15.  She could get things done on her own.  Is it fair that they weren't allowed to start at the same time?  Yes!  They started when they demonstrated they had some self discipline. 

 

I need to print out your post and hang it over my desk to I can read it each and every day.  Thanks so much for the support and perspective.  You are absolutely right.

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It sounds like my oldest two!  I will say to hang in there, though.  When dd was *almost* 13 maturity hit.  She went back to her pleasant, responsible self with her brain no longer mush and it made our lives so much easier.  We also moved to more independent work and I tried to give her some space.  At that age it all went in one ear and out the other.  I could swear my oldest two sound JUST like your oldest two.  Hang in there, if they want to take 5 hours to do some math, make it on their free time.  I ended up doing incentives (which I hated) and switching around programs until I found something that worked.  For ds that's TT and MEP worksheets.  And TONS of iPad learning games.  

 

Would it be easier for you to go down to the basics: math, reading, writing, and then do blocks of work in content areas? I've had to simplify a ton and pick programs like Galore Park and CGP that can be done more independently but aren't dry and boring.

 

What is CGP?  And would you care to share what you're using from Galore Park?  I've looked at their stuff before but was never able to pin down exactly what to use.  Links would be a wonderful thing if you'd care to share those, too.  TIA!

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She is an October birthday and so is almost 13.  If all goes well, she'll graduate at 16, and I have no idea what we'll do about college that fall yet.  Right now Juliard is not of interest to her because they don't offer the wildlife biology major that she also wants.  And just try finding a school that offers wildlife biology (specifically) and music majors AND a dance minor.  So far, it doesn't exist.  But, I still have four years to figure that one out. LOL...

 

University of California at Davis has a Wildlife Biology major, Music major, and a minor for Dramatic Arts which includes both theater and dance, according to the description.

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How could you possibly have enough time to do justice to biology, music and dance? Most musicians and dancers have no time to anything but music or dance and unless college is very light over there the course load to do a degree would not leave time to fit in any but basic music or dance practice.

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What is CGP? And would you care to share what you're using from Galore Park? I've looked at their stuff before but was never able to pin down exactly what to use. Links would be a wonderful thing if you'd care to share those, too. TIA!

My internet is down, so I'm on my phone.

 

CGP (much cheaper on Amazon!): https://www.cgpbooks.co.uk

 

My daughter loves these. In 7th grade she did the Key Stage 3 (KS3) books. Her favorites were history, Information Tech, and math.

 

Galore Park-we use Latin Prep, SYRWTL French, SYRWTL English 1-3, Junior Maths, and Junior Science. I'd say which particular book depends more on skill than age. The English 3 book has particularly advanced reading good for 7-8th grade.

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My internet is down, so I'm on my phone.

 

CGP (much cheaper on Amazon!): https://www.cgpbooks.co.uk

 

My daughter loves these. In 7th grade she did the Key Stage 3 (KS3) books. Her favorites were history, Information Tech, and math.

 

Galore Park-we use Latin Prep, SYRWTL French, SYRWTL English 1-3, Junior Maths, and Junior Science. I'd say which particular book depends more on skill than age. The English 3 book has particularly advanced reading good for 7-8th grade.

 

Thanks for the link.  I looked at Galore Park last night.  Holy expensive, Batman!  For just the science book and the answer key it was over $57!  I'm off to check out the Amazon link now.  DS is resisting the PS textbook I have for him.  (Figures since I have the textbook, the teacher's textbook, and the tests not only for this year but for all three years of middle school; *sigh*)

 

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Thanks for the link.  I looked at Galore Park last night.  Holy expensive, Batman!  For just the science book and the answer key it was over $57!  I'm off to check out the Amazon link now.  DS is resisting the PS textbook I have for him.  (Figures since I have the textbook, the teacher's textbook, and the tests not only for this year but for all three years of middle school; *sigh*)

 

Figures.  :lol:

 

CGP is MUCH more affordable and it's really thorough but enjoyable-lots of humor in there with deep material.  You can look inside them on the CGP site. 

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Figures.  :lol:

 

CGP is MUCH more affordable and it's really thorough but enjoyable-lots of humor in there with deep material.  You can look inside them on the CGP site. 

 

I looked at the website, but I have no idea what to look for. There's tons of books there, but they all seem to be study guides preparing for some test.  I'm not sure what is the actual curriculum.  And the UK pricing scares me.  I thought I was all set with the Galore Park stuff only to find out that the conversion rate does NOT work in my favor.  And international shipping is expensive, too. 

 

Of course, it's been a really long day.  I'm probably way too cranky to be trying to figure this out anyway.

 

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They are kind of condensed.  You're not getting large textbooks with lots of pictures in CGP. The Revision books are "practice" books that are a bit more basic, but still excellent. The Shakespeare guides are fun, too.  The books are to prepare for the standardized testing in the UK, but a lot can be used as an excellent stand alone curriculum, IMHO.

 

Here are some that my DD really likes

 

Math

Complete Maths KS3 Preview (all you really need):

https://www.cgpbooks.co.uk/Parent/books_ks3_maths.book_MHS33

 

Amazon:

http://smile.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1841463833/ref=sr_1_1_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1409020713&sr=8-1&keywords=KS3+Maths+Complete+Study+%26+Practice&condition=used

 

Textbook Preview (I haven't used this one): 

https://www.cgpbooks.co.uk/Parent/books_ks3_maths.book_M1NN31

 

http://smile.amazon.com/Mathematics-KS3-Book-CGP-Books/dp/1782941622/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409020942&sr=8-1&keywords=Mathematics+for+KS3%2C+Book+1

 

Science

Preview: 

https://www.cgpbooks.co.uk/Parent/books_ks3_science.book_SHS33

 

Amazon:

http://smile.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/184146385X/ref=sr_1_1_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1409020804&sr=8-1&keywords=KS3+Science+Complete+Study+%26+Practice&condition=used

 

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DD is starting high school but she's only 12. 

 

You have time to spread things out. You could half pace 9th and 10th grades, to give all of you more time to enjoy the journey:

 

12 years old = 9th Grade, Part A

13 years old = 9th Grade, Part B

 

14 years old = 10th Grade, Part A

15 years old = 10th Grade, Part B

 

16 years old = 11th Grade

 

17 years old = 12th Grade

 

In this scenario, your daughter would finish high school at a more typical age, possibly with a strong transcript and more time to delve into her interests.

 

If you don't stretch out high school, what will you do at the other end? She'll be 15 or 16? Will she be self-motivated and mature enough for college?

 

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You have time to spread things out. You could half pace 9th and 10th grades, to give all of you more time to enjoy the journey:

 

12 years old = 9th Grade, Part A

13 years old = 9th Grade, Part B

 

14 years old = 10th Grade, Part A

15 years old = 10th Grade, Part B

 

16 years old = 11th Grade

 

17 years old = 12th Grade

 

In this scenario, your daughter would finish high school at a more typical age, possibly with a strong transcript and more time to delve into her interests.

 

If you don't stretch out high school, what will you do at the other end? She'll be 15 or 16? Will she be self-motivated and mature enough for college?

 

 

The "other end" is definitely of concern.  She is very mature for her age (always has been), but she'll still only be 16 when she graduates and still 16 when she starts college (turning 17 in October).  But I read somewhere else on the boards that have more than 4 years in high school looks really bad on the transcript.  And this scenario has her doing high school for at least five or six years.  Won't that look awful?

 

 

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The "other end" is definitely of concern.  She is very mature for her age (always has been), but she'll still only be 16 when she graduates and still 16 when she starts college (turning 17 in October).  But I read somewhere else on the boards that have more than 4 years in high school looks really bad on the transcript.  And this scenario has her doing high school for at least five or six years.  Won't that look awful?

 

 

 

You could always do high school level work and still consider it 8th grade, especially since she is a little young for 8th grade with her October birthday.  

 

We did this with our DD14.  As an 8th grader, she took algebra I and physics.  She also continued on with another year of the language (latin, and spanish) sequences she had already started.  In our state all of those courses counted towards her high school requirements we will likely just fill out her coursework in her junior and senior years with more advanced courses rather than have her graduate early.  She may also take advantage of some dual enrollment options through our local 4 year university.  In our state there isn't any penalty to accruing more than the minimum number of credits required for graduation.  

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  • 3 weeks later...

The "other end" is definitely of concern.  She is very mature for her age (always has been), but she'll still only be 16 when she graduates and still 16 when she starts college (turning 17 in October).  But I read somewhere else on the boards that have more than 4 years in high school looks really bad on the transcript.  And this scenario has her doing high school for at least five or six years.  Won't that look awful?

 

 

 

DF, I don't know, but someone on the high school boards could answer that question.

 

For some reason, I have it in my head that you can work on the student's level in every grade and still create a four-year transcript to reflect the student's work.

 

For example, if you were to follow a typical sequence for math, the student might study:

 

7th     Middle School Math

8th     Pre-Algebra

----------------

9th     Algebra I

10th   Geometry

11th   Algebra II

12th   Trig/Calc

 

The four courses completed in grades 9th through 12th would be listed on the transcript, whatever they are. A more advanced math-track might look like:

 

7th     Algebra I

8th     Geometry

----------------

9th     Algebra II

10th   Precalculus

11th   AP Calculus AB/AP Calculus BC

12th   AP Calculus AB and/or AP Calculus BC and/or AP Statistics or Multivariable Calculus or Linear Algebra & Differential Equations

 

Again, it's my understanding that the four courses completed in grades 9th through 12th would be listed on the transcript, whatever they are. The important point is to list four years of math! If those math courses are successfully completed at a higher level, I don't see how that would look bad. ?? If the transcript starts in 9th with Course X, Y or Z, it is assumed that all the prerequisites have been completed prior to that year.

 

I'm not sure about this, and I don't have high school students. So please don't take my word for it. Ask at the high school board. HTH. I hope things are looking better now. :grouphug:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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