Paige Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I am concerned about how my adult cat is behaving towards our new kitten. When we first got the kitten, he hissed, acted aggressive, and did all the expected territorial stuff, but mostly seemed to understand she was a baby and did not do anything that would hurt her. We kept their interactions short and highly supervised until they seemed ok together. She was a very small (4-5weeks) abandoned baby. After only a week, they seemed to actually like each other. They would play, our older cat no longer growled or hissed at her, he'd allow her to approach, and he'd even let her sleep on the same bed or chair as him (but not against him). I thought things were great and he was accepting her. She's been here a month, so she's about 8-9 weeks old, and in the past few days, our older cat has become unpredictably and frequently mean towards the baby. She is still extremely small for her age. She was sick and hasn't gained much weight and is less than 2lbs. She also has a very mild and timid personality. I don't think he could see her as a threat. He's 18lbs! The older cat has started biting her for no apparent reason and it's not play. I don't think he wants to kill her, but he's definitely wanting to make some kind of point. He used to be gentle and they both had fun. Now, frequently it seems neither is having fun. He doesn't have his play face on and she will cry out. I'm not sure how much to intervene. Sometimes he's still nice. I can't find a pattern- it seems unrelated to food, litter box issues, or cuddle time with humans. I don't leave them alone and always shoo him away if he's not being nice to her, but I don't know if that will make him grumpier with her or not. He's only 3, so not an old cat. He has to be completely separated from my oldest cat because they never could get along, but I was hopeful when he seemed to accept the kitten. She really seemed to make him happier and more playful for a week or so and now he's suddenly a bully. Just last week she would be on my lap and he'd come over every night to get her. He'd stick his face up to her and she'd get up and go off to play with him. They'd play together for an hour or so with no aggression shown and then they'd both go to sleep. I thought we were good. I don't know what's changed. Any advice? We had gotten our big cat a calming pheromone collar when she came home. It may have worn off as they only last a month- could it really have been making such a difference? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I would intervene when it seems necessary. My cats are both seniors who have lived with each other for over ten years. For the most part they get along very well, but sometimes they get into it and I have to tell them to knock it off. And I think the collar could have made a difference. The pheromone products really seem to help some cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 I got him a new collar today and it is crazy. He's back to being friendly and making happy trills with the kitten. They aren't snuggling together, but he hasn't bitten the kitten or threatened her tonight and they are playing together now. The baby was a little unsure when he approached her at first but she's starting to relax again. She really wants to be friends. I guess I'll stock up on collars to ensure I can replace them every month. I can't believe it makes such a difference. What is messed up about my cat that he needs pheromones to be nice? :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I have a grumpy older cat that isn't taking to our new kittens. What is a pheromone collar and what are the benefits? She doesn't wear a collar now, is this something I should consider to see if she'll stop growling at them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 This is the collar we have been using- http://www.amazon.com/Sentry-Calming-Collar-Cats-3-Pack/dp/B0083F8XVM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408768993&sr=8-1&keywords=pheromone+collar It's supposed to make the cats more relaxed and happy. The reviews are mixed and from what I read the research behind it is inconclusive. Some say pheromones have no effect and others say that they really work. We had tried it before when he was having accidents and stressed from a surgery and I thought it helped but I couldn't tell for sure. He is a neurotic, crazy weird cat. If he was a person, he'd have a diagnosis of something. We tried prozac for a while a year or so ago and it didn't help because shoving a pill down his throat nightly was upsetting him more than whatever he was originally stressed about. I tried the collar again with him when we got the new kitten because I was mostly trying everything and thought it couldn't hurt. I think the collar helps more than prozac. I don't know if it would help your cat, but it's not that expensive to try one collar and see. It did not help him like my older cat, but that could be because she hates him too. The kitten is loving. I got ours in a single package from Walmart for about $9. I'm considering getting one for the kitten too. She doesn't need it, but I thought he might like her better if she smelled like it. He doesn't seem to mind wearing the collar. I keep it pretty loose and he doesn't mess with it. I am pretty shocked that he started being nice to her when I put the collar back on. It could be a fluke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Keep up the collars and the interactions. We currently have 9 cats in the house, though 3 of them are just wee kittens (only 4 weeks old today). Anyway, Our cats 90% of the time all get along just fine though once 2 of them escaped and got pregnant things changed and there is more growling and hissing than I would like at times but they have not really fought, mostly because if it gets to that way our yorkie gets between them and barks breaking them up lol. We have 1 that was a rescue that we got last winter, she was timid and terrified of everything and really was quite feral in her behaviour (you could not touch her without being bit, she'd growl at the other cats and them at her), eventually she latched on to ds10 and they became pals but no one else could touch her, she still growled at the other cats and sometimes would bite them. Sh and our 3 year old male cat (neutered) started to be buddies and the 2 of them still play together, but we had her like 5 months before they started to do that. At this point she now not only allows us all to touch her but will not leave me alone, she is like glue to me often, while she still gets into a growling match with the other cats, she no longer fights them or bites them, she and my 3 yr old cat still play together etc. There is marked improvement and I hope once my 2 that got pregnant are fixed (one scheduled in sept, other to be done in oct after her babies are weaned) that it will help calm down the new b*tchiness the 2 of them have. All of that to say, 1 month really isn't long, we are at 7 months with this cat and just getting to a relatively calm place with her and the others and still have room for improvement. Keep stocked up on the collars and keep monitoring interactions, eventually they will get to a place of tolerance of each other at least even if they never become actual friends. I figure if I can have 9 cats in the house and 1 dog and there is no bloodshed or even barking most of the time, any grouping can learn to get along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I picked up one of the collars today. She seems to be tolerating wearing it, but she's hiding under the bed (her go-to spot). She'll probably come out around 9:00 tonight. Hopefully it will help her calm down some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 Let us know if it helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 . If a kitten pounced on her, she would pin the kitten down and bite their neck loud enough for the kitten to squawk, and then she would let go. She was otherwise still very loving with her babies--grooming them, etc, but the "putting them in their place" thing was more intense than I realized it would be, this being our first litter than had their mama with them. This is entirely normal, though. I just wondered if your adult cat was doing that with the kitten--just teaching her he's in charge and where the line is drawn with rough play. That's exactly what he was doing. He is so big compared to her, though, that it seems scary. They look like a cat and mouse next to each other. The collar has calmed him down a lot, but maybe he just thought she was big enough to learn who was in charge. I'm glad he's being more patient with the collar but I will try to not worry too much if he still wants to teach her some manners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Let us know if it helps! Wow! She is so much calmer! She hasn't made friends with the kittens by any stretch, but she is down to just growling at them. This hissing and swatting behavior is gone. Right now she is tolerating one of them sleeping about two feet from her, which is fantastic. Her loving nature has returned and she is snuggling with me again. She seems to have gained the ability to ignore the kittens most of the time. I'm hoping things will continue to improve as she wears the collar longer. She's had it on since Saturday just before lunch, so around 72 hours. Thank you so much for letting me know about these collars! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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