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Are you an introvert or an extrovert?


PeacefulChaos
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Are you an introvert or an extrovert?  

316 members have voted

  1. 1. Which one?

    • I'm an introvert (homeschooling parent)
      243
    • I'm an extrovert (homeschooling parent)
      35
    • I'm an introvert (non-homeschooling parent)
      23
    • I'm an extrovert (non-homeschooling parent)
      2
    • Stupid introvert/extrovert stuff. Meh. (aka other)
      13


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DH & I were just talking about this. We decided that he is an extroverted introverted and I am an introverted extroverted ^_^

 

He enjoys being a home body and would prefer it to be "just us" most of the time. However, he loves people and does get rejuvenated and energized once he is in their company.

 

On the other hand, I am always up for making an event or party over every.little.thing. because I enjoy having people around. Lots of people. Every now and then, though, I feel like whats-hername...that old Hollywood actress who said, "I vant to be alone."

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I'm an introvert who just happily spent nearly 5 hours talking on the phone to my introverted best friend. But two hours making small talk with acquaintance type friends wears me out. Small talk generally wears me out, no matter the length of time.  I have shyness/likely mild social anxiety too though, and I think that makes a difference. My husband is also an introvert, but he's not shy at all. Both of us need alone time, though.

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I'm an introvert but not shy and I actually enjoy talking to strangers, because those conversations usually last less then 10 minutes.  I prefer being home and spending time alone.  I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything but I could just as easily have spent my life on my own.  I don't mind large crowds or belonging to a group, just don't ask a lot from me (I'm a helper not a leader).  This isn't because I'm lazy, I just don't want to interact on that all consuming level with people.  I don't have any friends who aren't related, I don't need them, DH, my mom, and my sisters (as well as my kids) are more then enough for me.  

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I never used to think I was an introvert until I read more about what the words mean. How you gain your energy. I recharge when I'm alone. I do not like big groups, but I do like getting some social interaction here and there. I just prefer small groups and shorter visits.

 

This is me, exactly.  I definitely need my alone time to recharge and recover, but I do like to visit with people from time to time.  Just not a lot. :D

 

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I am a bit of both.  I get energy from being around other people.  I enjoy being in groups.  I like talking with others and participating in certain group activities.  So I voted extrovert.  My DH likes groups up to a point, but it can be incredibly draining for him, too.  He and DD need a lot of personal space.  They aren't impersonal, and they do like people, but they do need a lot of space and down time to recoup from group gatherings.  

 

But I don't seek out lots of gatherings, I don't want to be the life of the party, I don't need to go out every day.  In fact, I prefer to have space, too.  Downtime without anyone around where I can just do my own thing.  I like my space, too, just like my more introverted family members.  I think the difference is that I get energy from being around other people a lot more than they do.

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I'm a formerly homeschooling mom who is an introvert but doesn't mind being around people in small doses.  Preferably people I know well, and no more than two or three at once.  But I have no problem talking to anyone.  I do need lots of alone time to recharge my battery.

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I'm an introvert but not shy and I actually enjoy talking to strangers, because those conversations usually last less then 10 minutes.  I prefer being home and spending time alone.  I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything but I could just as easily have spent my life on my own.

...

 I don't have any friends who aren't related, I don't need them, DH, my mom, and my sisters (as well as my kids) are more then enough for me.  

 

This is me.  I talk to my husband, my children, my mother, my father and my aunt; those seven people make up 95% of the talking I do.  4% of my talking is 5-10 minute exchanges of pleasantries with strangers.  The final 1% is the torture of having to make small talk at holiday parties, while visiting the in-laws or when relatives call to wish me a happy birthday (not having to field those calls would be the best birthday present ever!!).

 

Wendy

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I suspected, before the votes started coming in, that most would probably say they were introverts.  At least in my area true extroverts want lots of real life social interaction and most see homeschooling as isolating.  So most extroverts probably reject homeschooling out of hand without really even looking into it, unless they have to.  But also I think that an extrovert that is homeschooling would usually seek out other people in person and be taking their kids to lots of places where other people are so they might have less time to post on this board, and possibly less interest (me being one of the exceptions I guess).  Those that don't have the option for lots of real life social interaction must find homeschooling very draining at times.  Honestly, I know I do upon occasion.  I need more social interaction than we have been able to muster in this area.  But I could be dead wrong about my assumptions.  

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I used to think I was just shy and socially awkward, but I figured out that I am actually an introvert too. I do like being around a few people at a time. People can tire me out. I really don't like making small talk, but I think I have learned better social skills.

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Smack in the middle for me. Every type of test I've taken or check list I've looked over has me exactly in the middle.

 

Sometimes I am with friends lapping up the excitment and energy of a crowd. Sometimes I am alone basking in the solitude.

 

I think I'm the luckiest person ever to be in the middle. Wherever I am, whoever I'm with (or not with) one or the other side of me is being fed. Once in a while I get completely itchy to be with people and tell DH, "I must get out of this house right away" and once in a while I get completely frazzled around others and tell DH, "I am terrible company right now--get me home asap!", but in general, I'm happy with or without people around.

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I used to think I was just shy and socially awkward, but I figured out that I am actually an introvert too. I do like being around a few people at a time. People can tire me out. I really don't like making small talk, but I think I have learned better social skills.

I used to be the opposite! When I was young, I thought I was introverted, but actually I was just shy and socially awkward. I learned some basic social skills and quickly realized I'm not introverted, which was why I was so unhappy when I was mostly alone before I learned skills for being with people.

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Introvert raising a hermit. Ex is an extrovert with added !!!! - so he'd get antsy on a day off. 

 

Ds would be happy with Internet and a cave. Me like I like to see people in controlled situations, like I think I'll do okay at college once I get the hang of the classes. I actually have no fear of public speaking and loved doing plays in junior high. But I can go days without leaving the house and be fine. 

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I'm a mix, but slightly over the line to an introvert. I *HATE* large groups and am slow-to-warm up to new people. But I do like socializing 1:1 or in small groups with people I know well. I loved being in a sorority in college but chose a small chapter (there were 10 in my pledge class) and really hated participating in Rush.

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I voted introvert BUT the truth is, I'm on the edge. The result is that given my history of being social and even a professional spokesperson at one point, people misinterpret my introvert side and can think I'm non-caring or non-responsive when in actuality, I'm on interaction overload.

 

On the upside, people who are true kindred spirits are easier to spot.

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I am an introvert that plays an extrovert on TV ;-)! I can play the part because I'm a "stepper-upper" - quick to step up to play a leadership or organizational role if there is a need, and I'm a natural mentor, so people who don't know me well will mistake me for an extrovert. But I definitely need my space -- to be in my own head and hear the beat of my own drum. Can easily spend a day alone, and don't really like a lot of people in my house too often unless we are really, really close (there's about 3 friends who I could tolerate coming over on short notice, otherwise "Let's plan for next week..." - but I do dress up well as an extrovert when I have to.

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Introvert.  But an outgoing one.  I'm not a hermit, I like to get out and socialize, just not too much.

 

One of my ds is an extrovert.  He's the only one in the family, poor kid.  Luckily we all get out a good bit and it keeps him happy.  He was a peach during summer camp.  He'd probably be really happy in school if not for the school parts.

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I am an introvert that plays an extrovert on TV ;-)! I can play the part because I'm a "stepper-upper" - quick to step up to play a leadership or organizational role if there is a need, and I'm a natural mentor, so people who don't know me well will mistake me for an extrovert. But I definitely need my space -- to be in my own head and hear the beat of my own drum. Can easily spend a day alone, and don't really like a lot of people in my house too often unless we are really, really close (there's about 3 friends who I could tolerate coming over on short notice, otherwise "Let's plan for next week..." - but I do dress up well as an extrovert when I have to.

 

Yes.  This is me as well.  I'm also a bit of an organizer.  Some people who I feel like know me pretty well have been surprised when I've said I'm a definite introvert because I do tend to be pretty "on" when I'm out and about, especially if it's a group I at least sort of know.

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Huge extrovert here! Some days I just get tired of being at home and tell the kids to get in the car, we're out of here. We'll go to the park, the mall, the library, anywhere, because I NEED to get around some people and feel their energy even if I don't speak to them. It really hasn't been a bad thing to be an extrovert and homeschool.

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I haven't read all of the replies, but I have come to the conclusion that we are ALL introverts and some of us have learned to cope in extroverted ways and others have not or do not desire it.  All of it is ok.  I don't think getting to know people in a room full of strangers is high on anyone's list as a fun thing to do.  I just think some of us have learned how to "work a room" and others of us haven't or don't understand people that have learned those strategies.  Most people would say I'm an extrovert, but I love my private time at home and as far as meeting people and getting plugged in with them, yes, I'm good at it, but I've also learned strategies and certain skills that help me do it. Most of the time the first thing that comes to my mind is "uggh, what a bother."  Then the next thing is "but it's not about me."  

 

At the end of the day, every single one of us could find things we'd rather do than to sacrifice our time and interests to get to know others and involve them in our lives.  

 

I hope some of this makes sense, but due to lack of sleep last night, I fear it may not.

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I consider myself both depending on the situation.  Most of the time I consider myself an extrovert but in some situations I can't hear very well because of back ground noise and it's very difficult to carry on a conversation without turning my head so I can hear or invade personal space so I can hear which I don't  do so then I become introvert and stay with people who know my well and know my hearing situation.

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I don't think getting to know people in a room full of strangers is high on anyone's list as a fun thing to do.

 

My MIL and some of my paternal aunts enjoy doing that. My MIL has always look for part time jobs with lots of people interaction of the talking kind. They enjoy big weddings because they have lots of strangers to meet and chat.

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My MIL and some of my paternal aunts enjoy doing that. My MIL has always look for part time jobs with lots of people interaction of the talking kind. They enjoy big weddings because they have lots of strangers to meet and chat.

I agree, I also know folks like this. Hope44, I think you just distinguished yourself as an introvert!

 

It's not necessarily about what social situations you enjoy, it's about how you regather energy. Some need peace and quiet, others need the vitality of being with others.

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My MIL and some of my paternal aunts enjoy doing that. My MIL has always look for part time jobs with lots of people interaction of the talking kind. They enjoy big weddings because they have lots of strangers to meet and chat.

Me, too. I am chatty. My dad is even more. He's always striking up conversations with strangers on the train and stuff. I love meeting new people at the playground or going to new groups where I don't know anyone. There are so many people in the world with unique experiences. I want to hear their stories.

 

I don't do small talk. I do instant intimacy. And immediate connection. Everyone has something they feel passionate about, that they know more than I ever will. That they could talk about all day. I want to hear that.

 

I'm an extreme extrovert. I hate being alone. Luckily, I have been able to fill my house with fascinating people whom I love. They satisfy most of my people needs. Check, I have one bouncing around in my belly right now. It doesn't get much more intimate than that. I miss him when he's still. 

 

I do need to get out, but I don't always seek out people. I bring them with me. But we are more likely to go somewhere where we will be mostly alone. Hiking, camping, empty playgrounds, perhaps a small meet up. I love the festive vibe of say a music festival, but I don't want or need that every day. Most days it's just us, at home. And that's fine.

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I agree, I also know folks like this. Hope44, I think you just distinguished yourself as an introvert!

 

It's not necessarily about what social situations you enjoy, it's about how you regather energy. Some need peace and quiet, others need the vitality of being with others.

Hmm...it's possible, but after I do initiate conversations, I do find it is easy to dive quickly and deeply with people.  I guess even if I am an introvert I totally detest blaming that as an excuse to not participate or give up easily.  I'll have to think more on this.  Really interesting topic.  

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Hmm...it's possible, but after I do initiate conversations, I do find it is easy to dive quickly and deeply with people. I guess even if I am an introvert I totally detest blaming that as an excuse to not participate or give up easily. I'll have to think more on this. Really interesting topic.

I agree. I think the choice to not interact (ever - as opposed to needing interaction-recuperation time) is different than the amount of energy it takes to interact.

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I do wonder if identifying as an introvert is trendy right now. I see a lot of memes and comments which seem to imply that only introverts like to curl up with a good book, or spend quiet time alone, or knit, or have deep thoughts. As if implying that extroverts are all frantic, shallow, attention whores. Which, of course, is unfair and untrue. Extroverts read, stay home in the evenings, drink tea, meditate, and enjoy crafts, art and writing. We are the reason book clubs and knitting groups exist. We need downtime, too. 

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I do wonder if identifying as an introvert is trendy right now. I see a lot of memes and comments which seem to imply that only introverts like to curl up with a good book, or spend quiet time alone, or knit, or have deep thoughts. As if implying that extroverts are all frantic, shallow, attention whores. Which, of course, is unfair and untrue. Extroverts read, stay home in the evenings, drink tea, meditate, and enjoy crafts, art and writing. We are the reason book clubs and knitting groups exist. We need downtime, too.

Probably a reaction by introverts to years of being treated like they need to be fixed, and watching things being run (into the ground, sometimes) by people who can talk or present themselves the best, not those with the most skill. Nope, not all extroverts are shallow loudmouths. ;) I think it is all about whether you are drained or energized by a group setting, in reality.

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I'm a mix, but slightly over the line to an introvert. I *HATE* large groups and am slow-to-warm up to new people. But I do like socializing 1:1 or in small groups with people I know well. I loved being in a sorority in college but chose a small chapter (there were 10 in my pledge class) and really hated participating in Rush.

 

I'm like this too... but it's something I've become after having children.  When we were getting married dh and I took one of those personality tests (Woodcock Johnson???) anyway, I was off the charts introvert.  I've moved a little more toward extrovert.  I think that had something to do with having kids *and* being more isolated all day, every day... I started wanting a little more interaction.  But, I prefer small groups or one on one (except I have a very hard time inviting people over - too much potential for rejection.    I hated...hated lunch time during co-ops... way too stressful for me.

 

I'm not sure how to answer the question though.  I'm a retired homeschooler (after 19 yrs)...... so am I a "non-homeschooling parent" or a "homeschooling parent"????  I don't know which the OP is trying to flesh out.

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I haven't read all of the replies, but I have come to the conclusion that we are ALL introverts and some of us have learned to cope in extroverted ways and others have not or do not desire it. All of it is ok. I don't think getting to know people in a room full of strangers is high on anyone's list as a fun thing to do. I just think some of us have learned how to "work a room" and others of us haven't or don't understand people that have learned those strategies. Most people would say I'm an extrovert, but I love my private time at home and as far as meeting people and getting plugged in with them, yes, I'm good at it, but I've also learned strategies and certain skills that help me do it. Most of the time the first thing that comes to my mind is "uggh, what a bother." Then the next thing is "but it's not about me."

 

At the end of the day, every single one of us could find things we'd rather do than to sacrifice our time and interests to get to know others and involve them in our lives.

 

I hope some of this makes sense, but due to lack of sleep last night, I fear it may not.

I don't think you are right about that. A true extrovert does not like private time at home. A true extrovert feels *better* to be out and about, talking to people, calling folks on the phone, just plain being out, seen and seeing things. A true introvert can do these things and, as you said, can cope with it when necessary if they have learned good social skills. But an introvert wants to separate, to think, to have psychological space from people.

 

When ill or injured, an extrovert wants company, someone to talk to, someone who will face-time. An introvert retreats, wants to lick her wounds alone, wants space away from people. My mom, who is an extreme extrovert, stayed at my house after she had surgery for breast cancer. It was quite an education! She had a list she went down daily, calling friends. She asked people over and gabbed for hours. She had music playing ALL the time. I felt like, "How can she stand all this commotion and attention?" It is the LAST thing I would ever do if I just had my breasts removed!

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