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Sigh....new cheer coach


Dmmetler
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DD's coach, who she's had for 5 years and is wonderful with her, was let go suddenly. The coach e-mailed me, knowing that DD would need a heads up of any change, given that cheer is something that triggers her anxiety and sensory, but is also something that she loves and really works hard at. Her former coach doesn't know who will be replacing her.

 

I've given DD the heads up, and she says she still wants to cheer. I'm very worried about how to handle fall, though-how much to disclose to a new coach who hasn't seen DD for 5 years and seen how far she's come and how hard she works, whether DD can handle the higher level this fall with a new coach (we moved her up early specifically so she could get used to the higher expectations in the summer when it was less stressful and lower pressure, and she did very well this summer, but that was with a coaching staff she knew and trusts. And whenever she had had a new tumbling instructor, she goes backwards, and I mean by quite a bit. If she does that with a cheer coach trying to get a team ready for competition, it could be really hard on DD.

 

I just don't know what to do. I can see so many ways this could go badly.

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One of the assistants from last season just graduated from college, so I'd be amazed if he's around. The other may be, and. I hope is-she's not involved in active coaching much (she's a mom of one of the elite team girls who works to pay for her DD's expenses and mostly handles administrative stuff), but she'd be someone who knows DD and the other girls and could give the coach some background. My concern is that she's also a very close friend of the former coach, so I could see her pulling her DD to another program out of solidarity with her friend. I've considered doing so as well, but at least By staying DD has the same teammates, the same gym, and Bob the woodbridge's toad who lives under the trash can outside the building and comes out on warm nights to eat insects attracted by the lights (probably only important to DD).

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:grouphug: 

 

So is the coach moving to another location where you could go to follow her if the new coach doesn't work out?

 

I agree, a new coach may or may not develop the skill quickly to handle her SN.  You never know what kind of personality you'll be dealing with, and that change is hard.  I guess model for her the stability and flexibility you want her to have.  But yeah, I'd be wondering about following the coach to the new place.  Why was the coach let go?

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That is difficult! I would talk to the new coach ahead of time and try to fill her in on your dd and her needs, etc. I have on occasion decided not tell a new teacher/leader about my dc and it never turned out well. It might give your dd a boost of confidence if she learns how to navigate this type of transition. Good luck to both of you!

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I'm guessing parent complaints over long practices and fundraising (or the lack thereof) based on the e-mail from the new coach. They also apparently will be doing tryouts for placement, so I sent an e-mail asking if DD has to try out to stay on her current level (since she moved up this summer) or whether she can just stay there.

 

Apparently one of the assistants is staying on, and will supposedly be the head coach for the program, but she's not the one the e-mails are coming from, which makes me think that she's more a figurehead than anything else.

 

I don't know of DD's coach will move elsewhere or not. If she did, I'd follow rather than take a chance on someone new, because it does make such a difference to have a person who gets it.

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:grouphug:

 

I think I'd find out what placement tryouts mean (if they are stressful), find out where the old coach may be, and then decide how to proceed. I definitely would address her needs up front rather than waiting to see how that part pans out. I am not finding that a very good strategy.

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I haven't gotten a response back on what placement tryouts may mean, but the former coach says that her guess is that the new coach wants to build her elite teams, because a lot of the elite girls are quitting (most of the girls on elite are middle school and high school and many of them also cheer on school teams. The main reason they were doing the elite team was because their friends did and they'd come up together. With the coach, and therefore the coach's DD, leaving, a lot of the other girls are walking out as well). She doubts that she'll even look seriously at moving a 9 1/2 yr old back to u10 when she's been working out with u13. She also pointed out that if the worst happened-if DD has a meltdown at tryouts or something and just falls apart, we could drive 20 miles or so away and put DD in a rec team there-there's a program there that feeds into the elite program at DD's gym, so the coach there has worked pretty closely with DD's former coach.

 

 

I've let DD know the new coach wants to see what skills she has in her older girls since she doesn't know them as well as the old coach did, and that her old coach thinks she'll do fine, which is true. We'll see how it goes-and then decide whether to look for another program-or whether maybe we should sit out a season, maybe take another dance class or another tumbling class, and find a different sport.

 

Her coach doesn't plan to move to coaching in a different system-her daughter is in high school and on a competitive team there, so she was already juggling two divisions last year, and while her younger daughter did start cheering last year, her younger DD would be fine with other extracurriculars and mostly cheered to be with mom and big sis. I could see her possibly moving in a season or two, because she's good at it and enjoys it, but right now, she's really burned and hurt, and I can't blame her.

 

 

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I haven't gotten a response back on what placement tryouts may mean, but the former coach says that her guess is that the new coach wants to build her elite teams, because a lot of the elite girls are quitting (most of the girls on elite are middle school and high school and many of them also cheer on school teams. The main reason they were doing the elite team was because their friends did and they'd come up together. With the coach, and therefore the coach's DD, leaving, a lot of the other girls are walking out as well). She doubts that she'll even look seriously at moving a 9 1/2 yr old back to u10 when she's been working out with u13. She also pointed out that if the worst happened-if DD has a meltdown at tryouts or something and just falls apart, we could drive 20 miles or so away and put DD in a rec team there-there's a program there that feeds into the elite program at DD's gym, so the coach there has worked pretty closely with DD's former coach.

 

 

I've let DD know the new coach wants to see what skills she has in her older girls since she doesn't know them as well as the old coach did, and that her old coach thinks she'll do fine, which is true. We'll see how it goes-and then decide whether to look for another program-or whether maybe we should sit out a season, maybe take another dance class or another tumbling class, and find a different sport.

 

Her coach doesn't plan to move to coaching in a different system-her daughter is in high school and on a competitive team there, so she was already juggling two divisions last year, and while her younger daughter did start cheering last year, her younger DD would be fine with other extracurriculars and mostly cheered to be with mom and big sis. I could see her possibly moving in a season or two, because she's good at it and enjoys it, but right now, she's really burned and hurt, and I can't blame her.

 

I'm glad you have more information now, even if it's not a cut and dry answer. I hope all goes well for your DD.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The first practice went well-parents are allowed to observe the first week, and DD seemed happy and to be keeping up pretty well. She's tiny compared to most of the kids on u13. The one thing I did suggest to her was that she should head closer to the front so she can see better (I think she's more comfortable, normally, in the back where there's less around her, but she really can't see when there are a couple of people who are almost a foot taller than she is in front of her, so I suggested that maybe being on the edge of the mat, but closer to the front, would be a better spot ( eventually they'll start working in formation and it will be a moot point).

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