Penny_P Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 Not to get into a long history, but last year the school psychologist screened dd for learning disabilities. She suspects ADD and not a disability per se, but I never got an official diagnosis. School starts on the 12th for her here. She barely passed 5th grade last year. I unsuccessfully tried to homeschool her for 2nd and ended up putting her back in for 3rd. She has always been difficult. Now she is openly saying how much she hates school, which is a terrible way to begin the year. I do have a psychologist appointment to help her and I cope, but the initial parent intake isn't until the 29th of August. I guess I feel that I already have a full plate, which is why I haven't pursued help before. Are there any resources that the hive can recommend until we can really get rolling with professional assistance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I'm a little unclear. You're going to homeschool this year or put her in ps? We've had some good adhd book threads, so you can go look them up. What kind of problems were you having? Things that plagued us? -my idealism -her low processing speed -my IQ higher than hers, meaning I pushed harder than her on any given topic -her reality that she's a doer and that creative things and activities are as important (or more important) to her than academics -her need for structure and my tendency to avoid it What got us peace? Identifying the problems, getting the right words, and deciding not to fight about them. -bite to 5 when waiting for their answer (to allow for processing speed) -very concrete, clear expectations that can be listed out -short work lists that can be accomplished so she has both time and energy to pursue her interests -giving her freedom in any subjects where she exhibits her own drive and passion -not expecting her to be consistent in all things Then add the teen and administrative things: -more snacks, more naps till age 14 -LEARN TO TYPE -Did I mention learning to type? -Solve problems rather than assuming the child is being bad. If you want to solve your problem more quickly, there's such a thing as an Executive Function Coach. If she barely passed last year, no wonder she's saying she hates school! What is going on? Anything in particular? Are you going to need to remediate anything? We can listen to your ideas and toss out suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 Love your list, Elizabeth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timberly Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny_P Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 Thanks, OhElizabeth. I spent some time looking at older posts and ordered a couple of books from the library. I've suspected some ODD for a while, as well. When I tried to homeschool she would lay on the floor and have tantrums. I tried to make her schooling more artsy and interest lead. She refused to be interested in any topic. After a month into our second year homeschooling I sent her back to public school. It helped to salvage my relationship with her. She did poorly in 4th and then even worse in fifth, especially in math. (Common core didn't help in this regard either.) We did hire a cute, bright high school student to tutor her once a week, hoping that a pretty, smart female would be an inspiration. DD didn't like her and blamed her failure on the tutor. I eavesdropped and thought the tutor did an excellent job explaining concepts and patiently waiting for DD's responses. I feel stressed that her public school starts on the 12th, and she's just so negative about it. My heart breaks for her, and I don't know how to help her better. She thinks that she's a failure. A lot of the time it's like she doesn't even put any effort into her schoolwork. I really hope the psychologist can offer coping strategies. DH doesn't want to use medication, even though my mother is on Ritalin for ADD his brother took it in elementary school. I've tried having her eat more protein, but she's so darn picky, that even eggs disgust her. She refuses vitamins and fish oil. Thanks for giving me a place to vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 You might need more evaluations. Sometimes with that pickiness, there are sensory issues and the need for a good OT eval. Look for someone who is SIPT-certified. Are there any alternative schools near you? Around here we have several schools that use charter and state scholarship funding and they cater to ADHD, dyslexics, autism. It varies with the school, but we have several within an hour drive of us. Maybe that's because of the charter funding and all states don't have that? It sounds like something is getting missed. Hopefully you can push on that psych eval. Sorry it's so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I agree with more formal evals and following up on the ADHD. Maybe if the specialist say that medication is a viable option then your dh will be willing to do a trial. Meds aren't an end all, be all, but for some kids it is like putting on a pair of glasses..........they can finally DO the work. Meds are a tool, just like glasses or hearing aids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 If she barely passed 5th, she is going into 6th without a strong foundation. Maybe redoing 5th would help. You could read The Mislabeled Child perhaps to see if anything seems to fit. Also maybe Dianne Craft's resources might be helpful. (I assume you meant books for you to read, not books for your dd.) For math, if she would work with you, maybe you could work through a Basic College Math program with her to find holes in her understanding that might go all the way back to the basics. But I think trying to do 6th grade level work when she was having trouble in 4th and barely passed 5th would just lead to more of a sense of failure and a downward spiral. Even if meds help her to be able to focus, she is still going to be missing a lot of foundation material. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CFisher Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Hi there Penny, My name is Chase Fisher, I grew up with ADD/HD and an anxiety/depression disorder. I'm 22 now, in college, and happy, and I'm almost done with my degree. No matter what, I want you to know that your child is going to be OK. My elementary school and high school life was tough, and its similar to many other kids with LD. When I was in 5th grade, my teacher told my parents that I'd never make it to college, and proving her wrong has been one of the happiest experiences in my life. What you need to know about ADD/HD is that when it is handled properly, and put to use, your child has the chance, and the ability to excel, even if the grades say otherwise. Go get your child evaluated by a mental healthcare professional, they may be a jerk about it, I know I was, but in the end, knowledge will help both of you. Find solutions, and talk to people who have been through what they've been through. Your kid will be ok, even great, you just have to have patience and be attentive. No book will train you how to raise your child, but they're always helpful, maintain a library of books and strategies, and don't be afraid to try new things. I have all the hopes for your success, Chase Fisher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyKC Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Go get your child evaluated by a mental healthcare professional, they may be a jerk about it, I know I was, but in the end, knowledge will help both of you. Find solutions, and talk to people who have been through what they've been through. Your kid will be ok, even great, you just have to have patience and be attentive. No book will train you how to raise your child, but they're always helpful, maintain a library of books and strategies, and don't be afraid to try new things. I have all the hopes for your success, Chase Fisher WISE beyond your years, Chase!! Although it isn't a given that your DD will be "okay," Penny, getting an evaluation is a HUGE key for understanding her and meeting her needs appropriately. She'll be a lot more likely to be okay if you address her needs head-on. If you don't know what is going on, or whether she has ADHD or a neurological processing disorder, simple behavior therapy or psychological counseling won't be the answer alone. Counseling is definitely CRITICAL for learning to work well with each other.. we found family counseling HIGHLY beneficial to our entire family in dealing with LD and ADHD issues. It helped re-set *MY* expectations and ways of working with my son and helped him see things outside of his usual way of seeing things. PLus, if your DD has ADHD and needs med to get her brain chemistry into balance, your quickest route to a viable solution is to get a comprehensive eval and to get meds. I'm not necessarily "pro-meds" and we resisted them for years. However, the very first day my DS took his he said, "MOM!!!! We should have done this a LONG time ago!!" Think of the heartache that would have saved, not to mention the stress on all of us in the meantime. Hang in there. HUGS TOO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 PLus, if your DD has ADHD and needs med to get her brain chemistry into balance, your quickest route to a viable solution is to get a comprehensive eval and to get meds. I'm not necessarily "pro-meds" and we resisted them for years. However, the very first day my DS took his he said, "MOM!!!! We should have done this a LONG time ago!!" Think of the heartache that would have saved, not to mention the stress on all of us in the meantime. Hang in there. HUGS TOO! That is my view as well. The meds, if indicated, can be a life changer. No need to make the child, and the rest of the family, suffer when there is help available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I'm not necessarily "pro-meds" and we resisted them for years. However, the very first day my DS took his he said, "MOM!!!! We should have done this a LONG time ago!!" Think of the heartache that would have saved, not to mention the stress on all of us in the meantime. Hang in there. HUGS TOO! We resisted meds, and even a diagnosis, for a long time, too. Once DS10 learned that there was a med that might help him focus, he told me flat out that he wanted it. It has really helped him, and by extension, everyone in the family. Medication is a hard decision, and everyone has to make their own choices, but for some it can make a clear difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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