Wiggly little boys

[Desert Strawberry]

My 8yo has some adhd type action going on. He is so wiggly and fidgety. He is in the chair, out of the chair, hanging off the back of the chair, hanging on my chair, pulling on my arm, pulling onhis shirt, pulling his brother's hair, playing with his pencil, dropping his pencil, climbing under the table. It makes me a little psychotic. It may not be getting worse, but it certainly isn't getting better. I have managed to get him to stop walking out of the room in the middle of a lesson/conversation/sentence most of the time. That's an improvement.

 

Is this normal? We are having him evaluated. But is this typical boy behavior? My other three aren't quite like this. 

 

Does it matter? It doesn't seem to affect his learning or anyone else's, really, but it pushes me over the edge. 

 

Do I need to let this go? 

[lorisuewho]

Have you ever listened to the lecture by Andrew Pudewa on Teaching Boys? You can find it at the Circe institute. It is free and probably well worth your time to answer your question, "Is this normal?" It was a very enjoyable and informative listen.

 

http://www.circeinstitute.org/audio

[Hot Lava Mama]

Two words: Exercise ball!  I have three boys, all of which either are or were VERY wiggly!  Especially when compared to my little girls.  I bought some exercise balls for them to sit on instead of chairs.  Works like a charm!  I do need to remind them that they must not bounce so hard that I can't see their face. 

 

Sometimes, when they are messing around, I will kick their ball underneath the table.  They love that and try to kick back, but always get back on track.  If they are on the ball, they need to move to simply stay balanced (get one much bigger than them) and they seems to focus the energy.

:)

 

[Desert Strawberry]

I knew someone would recommend a ball. We did try it, but he stabbed it repeatedly until it popped. I don't trust him to use my new one :(

[Desert Strawberry]

Have you ever listened to the lecture by Andrew Pudewa on Teaching Boys? You can find it at the Circe institute. It is free and probably well worth your time to answer your question, "Is this normal?" It was a very enjoyable and informative listen.

 

http://www.circeinstitute.org/audio

I haven't. I will give it a listen. 

[SoCalLynn]

You just described my daughter when she was younger. We got a mini trampoline for the living room that she could jump on when she needed to work out her wigglies or when I couldn't take her wigglies any more. She will be 15 next month and has largely grown out of it. She's still active, mind you, but she's matured greatly. Now she keeps busy with fencing 6+ hours per week. I never bothered with any kind of "testing." I knew she was active, that's why we brought her out of public schooling after 1st grade. We thought that if it ever got to a point where she couldn't learn then we'd try something different. She's extremely bright and never had any learning problems so we just kept learning time to short periods with periods of movement (trampoline, pogo stick were favorites, walk around the block or go to the park) in between times. And lots of re-direction and patience on my part.

 

ETA: We decided early on that our daughter was made by God for a purpose and that her active personality was a part of that. We have tried very hard not to squash her natural enthusiasm and joy for everything, but have tried to give her opportunities to use that energy in positive ways. It is who she is and I didn't want to make her feel bad or different by trying to change it or by comparing her to others in ways that would make her feel "less."

[Desert Strawberry]

We aren't having him evaluated because of this. He has other, more disconcerting difficulties. I mentioned it in case anyone would suggest that he might need it. 

 

"Getting the wiggles out" doesn't seem to do much for him. He takes lots of breaks, but it seems that the more he moves, the wigglier he gets. 

 

. I have long petitioned for a minitramp but his dad is adamant :( Any other suggestions that might work instead?  

[AK_Mom4]

I raised the Energizer Bunny.  Seriously.   DS22 never stopped moving unless he was asleep and sometimes not even then. Poking, pulling, jumping, wiggling.  He was in public school and I would get called at least once a week because he had once again been unable to sit still in class or had been running his mouth 90 MPH.  This went on until about age 9 when he got a teacher who let him stand up at his desk in the back of the room.  Fast forward a bunch of years.  He grew out of the wildness, but not the high energy.  Just graduated from college and is headed to pilot training in the air force.  Very driven, to this day.  He had a few weeks of vacation before reporting to school and ended up splitting most of our firewood for the winter.

 

The destruction of things would worry me more than the high energy.  We had plenty of things get broken through rapid motion and carelessness.  If he is destroying things with more intent (stabbing repeatedly), that level of impulse control would be something "not normal".

 

Oops... sorry just saw your update.  Things that helped (and still do!) - letting him stand, lots of vigorous physical exercise first thing in the morning.  Fidget balls (saved many chewed up shirts!). Chewing gum.  Physical fitness competitions (against himself) - recording # of sit ups he can do each day.... that sort of thing.  Martial Arts - lots of physical activity AND mental stimulation in a fairly controlled environment.

[Reefgazer]

Small, indoor, round trampoline that he can jump on as you do oral work.

[Harriet Vane]

Why is your husband adamant about a mini-tramp? Seems a funny thing to draw a line about.

 

It's just a toy, and it can be a really, really useful tool. Also it's a cheap way to get indoor exercise for any of you. (I have jogged or danced on the mini-tramp for exercise many times.)

 

My son is high energy. The two things that have made our days go much better are (1) starting him off with some serious exercise, like biking a few miles or jogging or something that makes him really sweaty for a while; and (2) a mini-tramp in the house for oral work or little breaks.

 

Ds also really loves gardening and the great outdoors,  so he has always done quite a bit of that for breaks

[Kerileanne99]

Tie one of the stretchy rubber excercise bands around the legs of the chair, tight, just at the level where his feet are resting on it with knees bent.

As he sits at the table he can bounce his feet and legs as he works. Constant movement and resistance, whilst mostly keeping a body on the seat!

 

Be prepared that you will need a couple of bands as backup. Ours seems to last a few months, but no guarantee with a wiggly boy:)

[Tanikit]

I have a video of my 6 year old doing Math - while rocking on her chair and leaning over the table at the same time. She is in constant motion. She goes to bed at night only at 21:00 and still wakes earlier than the rest of us and is never tired unless she is sick. She reads at a high level and yet when I find her reading in her room she is sitting in a large toy box with soft toys piled in it and basically continuously rocking and moving and stretching. Even now as I type she is crawling around on the floor, rolling over balls and pulling her younger sister around.

 

It does drive me crazy and I do say: Put your feet on the floor all day (especially for writing exercises) I did start her in gymnastics which while it didn't stop the continuous movement did seem to make her more aware of her body and where it was so that I was not being clobbered half the time by flying legs and arms (they still fly but she knows which way they are going to fly now).

 

Is it normal? I guess I would have to answer that for your particular child it is normal - I know though that my daughter is better when she is dairy free and also additive, preservative, gluten and sugar free - still in continuous motion, but better, less wild. I still would like to send both my children for allergy testing as they both show signs of allergies that may also be affecting their behaviour. It looks a bit like ADHD, but with the ability to concentrate still present (which is why they do not have ADHD). You probably need to let it go in some way or find some ways to cope that work for you. My DD has very short sitting sessions before activity - while it doesn't stop the motion at the table, it makes it easier for me to cope with - in short bursts.

[Targhee]

Dp

[Targhee]

I can handle DS (who has ADHD)wiggling, squirming, fidgeting, bouncing, climbing, etc. that's a manageable part of ADHD. The impulse control is much more detrimental to their emotional and relational help - interrupting, grabbing, failing to Stop when asked, walking off in the middle of a conversation or meal, etc.

 

To help with the wiggles: we have a box of fidgits to play with while listening is expected; we tried a balance cushion; we allow 'seat working' to be done standing, laying, on the floor, etc; our breaks are short and physical like jumping jacks or running up and down the stairs (not play - because this adds a difficult transition when it's time to work again); and we do work orally where possible. But really, managing the wiggles is a much lower priority than managing the impulsive behaviors, so I don't focus on it as much (I don't correct much or let it upset or distract ME). Best Wishes

[WahM]

This is exactly how my DD is. My DS, not so much, not at all really! Sorry, no help still trying to figure out how to get her to try to concentrate on work more and actually get things done. Doing a couple minutes of work then having her hop or run around the house X amount of times the come back and do something else for a couple more minutes and repeate helps some in some days.

[merry gardens]

Outside play helps my son. (He's dyslexic and if he was in traditional school he would likely have had a dx of ADHD in addition to dyslexia.) Also please be aware that all that wiggling and moving can help some people concentrate better. (It's like the old detectives on TV that would pace the floor to solve the mystery. Movement helps them pull the pieces together in their brains.) With homeschooling, we have the luxury of allowing our children to be upside down on the couch while they listen to a story or other lesson. We don't have to make them sit still at a desk, we can incorporate movement into their learning. But when it gets to be too much for me or the others, I sometimes send my son outside to run around the yard and then he comes back in feeling better.

[Coco_Clark]

My boys are all wiggly, but my 5 yo takes it to another level. He eats standing up, because he cannot sit. He does morning reading on the floor so he can stand on his head, do cartwheels, ect without kicking everyone cuddled up on the couch in the face. Even when watching TV he is jumping up and down and moving constantly. He chews everything! His headboard, his shirt, his toys. He's always hugging too hard, hanging on my arms, rubbing me.

 

For MY son I think its a mixture of high energy and sensory seeking.

 

I do lots of movement in our schoolwork- hopscotch, bouncing a ball, throwing a ball back and forth. We do most of our writing on a big white board so its more gross motor. He needs to move in order to focus, so I make sure he CAN move. I love the exersize ball idea!

 

I start his day with manual labor or heavy excersize, and he does a lot of my heavy lifting (carrying laundry baskets, carrying groceries) through the day. I find "play breaks" hype him up but "work breaks" do not. Maybe because his actions have to be controlled? I've used weighted vests on and off with great success.

 

I bought a therapy teether that he just gnaws and gnaws on. This is the only one he hasn't simply decimated. And its cut down on destroyed clothing and toys. http://www.therapyshoppe.com/category/P1724-ps-qs-oral-motor-chewy-fidget-tools-tubes-exercisers

 

I would honestly be most concerned about and focus the most on the impulse control (pulling his brothers hair, stabbing the exersize ball) issue. The energy won't be as disruptive if he can learn to channel it into acceptable actions.

[Coco_Clark]

Dp

[hjffkj]

I'm in the same boat right now with my 5 year old and its putting a huge strain on our relationship.  I have sensory issues myself but I'm the opposite of my son.  The constant visual stimulus of him bouncing around and constantly moving drives me crazy! I often end up snapping on him and others because I'm overstimulated by him.  And I generally don't snap on people but its been getting worse since I don't get much time to myself to decompress.   

 

I hope some of these suggestions have helped you and am thankful you posted because a few of them have given me ideas.

[Korrale]

My boy is loaded with energy but he is also sensory seeking. He is hypo SPD. Which just means he has diminished tactile response. He doesn't feel much pain.

 

What helps him with wiggles is the do Wilbarger (brushing) protocol before seat time. Some people prefer join compressions.

He also does well when he wears a backpack with books in it, heavy boots, or bike helmet. Sometimes he likes all three together. I know other kids that like to wear a tight belt, or wear a weighted blanket on his lap.

My son is also a chewer. His shirts have been ruined due to this. Getting fidget and chew fidgets can help with this.

 

When all else fails my son does his work running around the living room, tumbling or just on his head.

[Guest]

My little guy conjugated Latin verbs and did his math orally while running around in circles in the back yard and fending off imaginary villains with his super sticks.

 

He's 22 now, works three different jobs, is "the calm, rational one" of my wacky family and has never been on ADHD meds.

 

I've got another wiggly little boy just like him so I'm definitely going to get an exercise ball and probably a mini trampoline too. :D :D :D

[Sunshine State Sue]

My son's nickname used to be "Our Lord of Perpetual Motion".  I can remember reading SOTW to him while he put both legs in a soccer sock and hopped around the room.  I looked at him and thought, "If you were in school, they'd be talking to me about medication".  Mostly, I just let him be.  He's an only, so he wasn't bothering anyone else but me.  He learned just fine while he moved.  I knew that he was just an energetic kind of guy.  I knew that he didn't need medication. 

 

We definitely gave him lots of opportunities for physical exercise.  He played soccer, basketball, baseball, flag football.  We definitely had to make a point to teach him that when someone says stop, he needs to stop.  I think sometimes he acted like a large puppy and didn't realize that not everyone wanted to wrestle with him.  We had to work on that for what seemed like years.

 

He outgrew the perpetual motion in his own time (probably somewhere around puberty).  You would never know it at 18yo.