BlueTaelon Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I still havent decided of what do to for my dd8 who loves PS and while bored academically she loves all the action. I dont love the constant illness she brings home from Sept-Feb then the cost involved from medicine to supplies . For dd14 PS has always been a disaster every time we have tried it due to ASD and mental health issues. We have her mental health stabilized and we should be moving into an apt in a school dist thats supposed to be wonderful for ASD kids for jr/high school next month or Sept. I am sick of the isolation because dd14 doesnt like leaving the house and its a battle to get her to do school work (or housework!) and she wont do work period if dd8 is home and frankly if im going to go through the hassle/expense again this year either both go to school or both stay home. Hs'ing just isnt working for us, i've got 8 years experience and the past year or 2 has not gone well, at all, due to dd14's issues. Since getting her ASD dx this year shes now getting 6hrs week therapy, were all getting counciling (this year has been very difficult dealing with everything going on from dd14 having severe mental health issues, me dealing with severe depression from all the stress, had to take 7 months off work due to dd14, ended up homeless, its been a really rough year). Both kids are also being enrolled in a behavior intervention program, dd8 copies dd14 and it makes life unpleasent to say the least. Dd8 also has sensory issues that are being addressed, half day long melt downs suck:( We have more supports now then we have ever had just this is all recent, like the past month or 2. Im told with dd14s issues I even have the option to enroll her into a K12 school and they will send someone out to do the work with her and keep her on track. (We have mostly used K12 our entire journey either with a hands off VA or independent for most of her classes). Being in the city means we can attend HS activities and our state allows duel enrollment so dd can take a class or 2 she will enjoy to force her out of the house and get her feet wet. I do NOT want to HS high school! We will be able to have a very different year but all I have known is not at all fun hs'ing that i've been forced into and my needs have suffered. Im not the most social person but I NEED another human IRL to talk to that doesnt involve treatment for my kids. I havent even been been out with another adult, doing something relaxing and fun in at least 7 years. Im tired of being alone. Hoping that by moving to the city I can get a support network in place, I've been alone most of this journey and I'm wore out and not looking forward to another year:( I'd love it if both kids could be successful in PS, I could go to work full time to support us and I'd get a break. Im tired of worrying over every little expense and having no wiggle room and feeling like im failing at hs'ing too because I cant get dd to do her bleepin work anymore:( Teaching dd8 at home is a workout as she needs to be kept in motion. On paper we should have a much better year since supports are being put into place but I've never had a great year and just the thought of another year of isolation... I'm dreading it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 (((hugs))) Under the circumstances, I think I would give public school a go, get a job, and try to move towards whatever routine and structure you can. It sounds like you all have a lot of disruption to heal from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 Thats what Im leaning towards but I need to see what supports they plan to offer dd14. When I say disaster im not kidding and socially shes about 2 yrs old. Anything short of a self contained classroom I think is going to be a problem socially. Doesnt help that shes tall, model thin, blond and pretty and the other girls gave her hell about it last time. Poor thing always came home in tears:( Im also worried about them coming home sick all the time. I lose my babysitter when we move:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 We are changing locations and how we do school and the whole thing is a bit up in the air. I am excited in some ways, terrified in others and just plain worried and frustrated and tired in others. But we aren't facing the difficulties you are. Huge, huge hugs. I would look into ps, too, or some other learning situation where you can work, they can be educated in a reasonably reliable way, and you can all have a bit of a break from the roller coaster. So, so sorry, BlueTaelon. Huge hugs and well wishes. I hope with all my heart this year works out better than the last few.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 (((hugs))) We're on summer break here and I'm only doing minimal amounts of work. DS 15 attends a private high school that's not close to us and when I think about it, I dread the drive again next school year. I prefer not to think about it. It's summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IdahoHomeschooler Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Are you moving into CDA? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 PF:) Just waiting for my last rental ref to come back and the place is ours. We passed the credit check and stuff, i've never seen a place so insistant on rental refs no matter how far back and the place I have the longest history is dragging their heels. Probably still pissed I refused to pay for carpet cleaning because it was filthy when I moved in and so was the rest of the place. I left it immaculate and got my full deposit back and was told not to worry about the carpet cleaning due to the place being filthy when I moved in (I have tons of pics to prove it and the move in report) after I got my deposit back the owner said I had to pay becuase her records showed it was cleaned prior to move in which it wasnt properly done and was documented. I refuse to pay for something that wasnt done. A white towel should not come off the floor black after "cleaning". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IdahoHomeschooler Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 PF sounds good! My sil is a 4th grade teacher at one of the schools. That location will give you such good proximity to all the doctors and therapies you could hope for. Let me know if you want a hand with moving. I would be happy to help you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 I might just take you up on that offer:) It will be nice to have our stuff back, were sleeping on blow up beds and its killing me. Plus im going nuts not having a decent kitchen setup. Havent been able to figure out where the boxes are in storage to bring some stuff here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Ariel Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 After last year, I feel like I am dreading it. I went to the open house for the coop which offers a lot of classes for middle through high school students. There are maybe two classes ds 15 could even take. He is starting 9th grade. I am so tired of approaching these teachers and asking if they would be willing to have him in their classes (he has dysgraphia, dyscalculia, ADHD, slow processing and working memory, IQ about 72 last time tested). It's exhausting trying to explain, especially in front of others standing in line to talk to the teachers, ask questions, etc. They are usually nice but perhaps tentative about it. A lot of them are trained homeschool friendly teachers but of course not in special ed. There really isn't an opportunity to talk with them privately ahead of registering (which is expensive and competitive to get in). Ds is a nice kid, social, enthusiastic, usually well liked by everyone, but he's slower academically. Last year I needed to keep him on track to the smallest detail of assignments, read with him, be "on" him constantly. He craves being with others and being home with mom just isn't cutting it for him lately. I am at the point that I would like to look into what the ps could offer a kid like him but dh is insistant that he keep homeschooling. It just sometimes seems like there isn't much for homeschooling kids with special needs out here IRL. I think everyone is in hiding, trying to pretend everything is OK. Here on these boards seems to be the only place people are willing to talk about the struggles. I am, of course, willing to advocate for my kids but I am just really feeling discouraged right now. Anyhow, just wanted to add that I am dreading it in a lot of ways as well. The one positive is that he did start on ADHD meds this summer and we have seen some positive changes but I am not sure how that will transfer over to academics. He is starting high school and there just really isn't a lot of time left to figure things out for him like when he was younger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: No, I am not dreading the year. I'm a little apprehensive about biting off more than we can chew though. Both of my kids need my time and attention so I'm working on finding a balance. I've had to bite the bullet and toss some subjects to make school more achievable. It is my ardent desire to be loving and flexible with both kiddos. Princess Ariel, I'm very particular about who teaches DS. I seriously recommend that you sit down with your son's teachers and work out accommodations before the class starts. I have found that in the homeschool classroom setting, many regular students do not complete their assignments and very few students apply themselves. One teacher complained that many parents were surrendering their teaching to co-op teachers that have no real power when it comes to grading. My DS was the least troublesome of her students. It is shocking to my DS, who came from a regular classroom and had to study to survive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mukmuk Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 :grouphug: to the OP. I'm very hopeful for the coming year. After a disastrous year that felt like a runaway train, we (ds and I) are finally getting our act together. Ds is actually showing more deficits than we've been able to therapy for, but I feel we've narrowed them down. Dh and I have some hard decisions to make regarding therapy and $$$. Ds has always had difficulty focusing for longer than five minutes, but this seems to have improved recently (crossing fingers that this is sustainable). Perhaps I don't have to be on top of things and can take a breather every now and then without the train derailing completely. Certainly, he's more mature and aware than ever before. I've become hopeful again that I'll be able to nurture his ability to be a reliable driver for himself eventually. For awhile, this goal did not seem possible. I love what Heathermomster said- the ardent desire to be loving and flexible. That's my aim too. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 It just sometimes seems like there isn't much for homeschooling kids with special needs out here IRL. I think everyone is in hiding, trying to pretend everything is OK. Here on these boards seems to be the only place people are willing to talk about the struggles. I am, of course, willing to advocate for my kids but I am just really feeling discouraged right now. I agree with this completely. I was stunned to find out that even in the city we are relocating to there appear to be NO homeschooling support groups for families of kids with special needs. Yet I KNOW that there must be quite a number of kids being pulled out of school to homeschool because they have special needs and struggled in school. The homeschooling community is MASSIVE there compared to where we are now and growing daily, and a lot of those families are ones taking kids out of school. They can't all be NT kids. And there must be kids homeschooled all along that are not NT. Yet as far as I can tell there is not one homeschool support group for homeschoolers with learning issues... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 My hs cover has a support group. I'll admit that it is nice to speak with other moms IRL and the kids get along fairly well. My primary issue is that DS is 2e and has been accommodated since elementary. Love the moms and the kids, but our views are very different about accommodations and tutors. I sometimes feel like a a raving liberal un-schooler around these moms, which is funny because I barely poke a toe outside the education box. I'm practically a leper for avoiding Saxon, Apologia, SMARR, and Abeka. Being in a group is nice, but I attend for companionship not SN support. It's just a lonely road looking outwards. You ladies could start your own group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srs Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 OP, in your situation I would send them to school and get that job. At least give it a try. Respite is important. I am not dreading the year. I am apprehensive about knowing DD has learning challenges but not exactly what and how, and feeling overwhelmed about how to figure out what testing to do and when. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 My hs cover has a support group. I'll admit that it is nice to speak with other moms IRL and the kids get along fairly well. My primary issue is that DS is 2e and has been accommodated since elementary. Love the moms and the kids, but our views are very different about accommodations and tutors. I sometimes feel like a a raving liberal un-schooler around these moms, which is funny because I barely poke a toe outside the education box. I'm practically a leper for avoiding Saxon, Apologia, SMARR, and Abeka. Being in a group is nice, but I attend for companionship not SN support. It's just a lonely road looking outwards. You ladies could start your own group. Well, I tried at our current location and got absolutely nowhere. Same with a new homeschoolers support club. And a history club. And a science club. Or helping another mother maintain the speech and debate club or trying to convince the co-op to find another drama club instructor instead of just eliminating drama club. No interest.... I am hoping once we get to know the homeschooling community better in the area we are going to be spending time in this fall and beyond that maybe I will have more luck...keep your fingers crossed. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Ariel Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: No, I am not dreading the year. I'm a little apprehensive about biting off more than we can chew though. Both of my kids need my time and attention so I'm working on finding a balance. I've had to bite the bullet and toss some subjects to make school more achievable. It is my ardent desire to be loving and flexible with both kiddos. Princess Ariel, I'm very particular about who teaches DS. I seriously recommend that you sit down with your son's teachers and work out accommodations before the class starts. I have found that in the homeschool classroom setting, many regular students do not complete their assignments and very few students apply themselves. One teacher complained that many parents were surrendering their teaching to co-op teachers that have no real power when it comes to grading. My DS was the least troublesome of her students. It is shocking to my DS, who came from a regular classroom and had to study to survive. I am only thinking of having him take only one class this year which would be a science class. The teacher did say she would be willing to keep in weekly contact with me (by email) and also she would give him a class notes packet which would have the answers filled in so he could focus on the class itself instead of trying to keep up with his extremely slow writing skills (dysgraphia). It will be a large class and he won't get individual attention but he will work in groups which should be fine for him. He took two classes last year and it was way more than we could handle. His therapist thinks he should take a class so he can learn to be more independent and told me I need to stop saving him from failure if he doesn't keep up with things. She said I need to work this out with the teacher in advance. It is so hard to differentiate between deficits and laziness (which he suffers from as well!) Ds tells everyone he got A's in those classes but it was only because I worked my butt off making sure he didn't fail. The therapist has known him for years so I do trust her judgement in this. I need to decide by the end of the week if I want him to have a chance of getting in the class but I will have to come up with the rest of his curriculum myself. That is going to be a challenge for me! There is no way I could have him take a full load at this coop. I know others do but I know it wouldn't work for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I am only thinking of having him take only one class this year which would be a science class. The teacher did say she would be willing to keep in weekly contact with me (by email) and also she would give him a class notes packet which would have the answers filled in so he could focus on the class itself instead of trying to keep up with his extremely slow writing skills (dysgraphia). It will be a large class and he won't get individual attention but he will work in groups which should be fine for him. He took two classes last year and it was way more than we could handle. His therapist thinks he should take a class so he can learn to be more independent and told me I need to stop saving him from failure if he doesn't keep up with things. She said I need to work this out with the teacher in advance. It is so hard to differentiate between deficits and laziness (which he suffers from as well!) Ds tells everyone he got A's in those classes but it was only because I worked my butt off making sure he didn't fail. The therapist has known him for years so I do trust her judgement in this. I need to decide by the end of the week if I want him to have a chance of getting in the class but I will have to come up with the rest of his curriculum myself. That is going to be a challenge for me! There is no way I could have him take a full load at this coop. I know others do but I know it wouldn't work for us. That rocks!! My DS has dysgraphia and types too. He will be carrying his laptop to class and taking Elegant Essay and Informal Logic. He's done all that before. Next spring, he will be participating in a two day lab intensive dissecting three animals and other stuff. I am concerned about accommodating the writing in his Lab Notebook. It will be interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 OP and Whomever, I purposefully pursue friendships with other moms. About every 3-5 weeks, I meet up with friends on Tuesday evenings for dinner or coffee. I speak with another friend once per week by phone. I could not survive without my gal pals. My SN support group meets maybe twice per semester. My family is also active in a Church body which really helps too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 :grouphug: No advice at all, you are traveling a rough road, but whatever you decide will be okay. There is no simple solution here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 Well I put down a deposit on the apt today so were moving in the next 30 days! I got a chance to talk to the spec ed director who Ive heard good things about and they are open to slowly working her into the school even if its just 1-2 classes at first. I would be happy to do a mix of class and independent study if it means getting her into school successfully full time in the next year. Never though PS might really be an option before for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 *grumble* really hit home today that we would need to give up some services if she goes to school or she would need to miss a lot of school for services. Best solution is back to k12 but since we have dxs and support in place we may get someone to come in and do the school work with her for 15-30hrs a week which I can live with. dd8 is not happy to hs this year but I will make it a point to find friends for her. Not sure what to do about income, dd14 says to just babysit. Think im going to be a bit busy for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 *grumble* really hit home today that we would need to give up some services if she goes to school or she would need to miss a lot of school for services. Best solution is back to k12 but since we have dxs and support in place we may get someone to come in and do the school work with her for 15-30hrs a week which I can live with. dd8 is not happy to hs this year but I will make it a point to find friends for her. Not sure what to do about income, dd14 says to just babysit. Think im going to be a bit busy for that. Why does your 8 yo get sick so often at school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 Why does your 8 yo get sick so often at school? Because of all the germs. Unless the kid is dying or running to the bathroom every 5 minutes they want them there. All the kids are always sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Because of all the germs. Unless the kid is dying or running to the bathroom every 5 minutes they want them there. All the kids are always sick. Same here. I reckon schools are the second biggest germ pool behind hospitals. Ever since the kids started school we have at least one of us sick at least 2/3 of the time (mostly just colds, but still it's not fun). But of course there are lots of things you can work on to boost immunity. Regarding what option you should choose, would I be right in thinking that you already know what you want to do? If you choose to put the kids in school and go to work, that doesn't mean you are a home schooling drop-out / failure! It simply means that you have made the best choice you can in the circumstances for each year. If, right now, public school is the better option for your family, you should take this path, guilt free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.