Is it crazy to pack away all the toys

[ksr5377]

and then get them out as they are asked for?  Then, after 2-3 months, I will get rid of everything they haven't asked to play with.  We have 600 square feet in the basement that has been overrun with toys.  My initial plan for that area was for it be the play room, but it's ridiculous!  I'm now thinking that it sure would be nice to have a cozy TV room down there that the whole family could enjoy instead of just toy mayhem.  Has anyone ever done something like this?  

[EKS]

I have put away toys that my kids don't seem to use and eventually, if no one has missed them, gotten rid of them.  Another think you can do is rotate the toys, because when my kids would find the stored toys on occasion, they would suddenly want to play with them.

[Tanaqui]

Seems reasonable to me, although there may be a few toys you want to keep longer, just in case they have a sudden interest in, say, Legos or whatnot.

[lmrich]

How old are your kids?

[Mandylubug]

Pick a storage solution that you are willing to look at in your cozy tv room area. Then go through those toys (without the kids whatever you do) and keep only the most cherished and the ones in nearly new condition. Broken? Chunk it! Happy Meal toy? Chunk it! Only keep out the toys that fit nicely and neatly within the storage solution of your choice. If they want a certain toy brought back, they have to find the room and eliminate something else. Be sure to be reasonable though. You can't expect a book case full of toys to fit in a 2ft x 2ft square!

 

I would keep toys such as legos, wooden blocks, or something of the like that can be quiet time toys. Keep them even if they aren't interested in them now because they store easily and they are expensive if you have to repurchase. Pack the others away if in like new condition. If they ask for it, let them decide what to trade for it.

[ksr5377]

My kids are 7, 6, 3 and 3 months.  I do think there are some things that I wouldn't get rid of (like DH's Lincoln Logs, even though no one EVERY plays with them).  I love the IDEA of rotating the toys, it just never seems to happen.  That's on me, I know.  I do think it may be easier if there are less toys to rotate though.  Seriously, I could fill three 18 gallon totes and you wouldn't even notice toys are missing.  I think we're also going to have to have a talk with the grandparents about quality over quantity, but I don't think that'll be all that successful. 

[Mama Geek]

My 4 year old doesn't have a great memory yet.  We rotate through toys and I occasionally get rid of stuff I think she is better off without or that break.

[Mandylubug]

I used to have a neighbor in AZ that was awesome. She had one TINY basket in her living room (think 9x13x6 inches deep) and only had quality toys and books in it. THAT WAS IT!!! In their room there was one SMALL canvas cube storage box and a book shelf. It was the cleanest, most tidy house ever. I was jealous :p

[mom2att]

My kids have been serious toy players.  In fact, I was just looking at old photos and was glad there were plenty of pictures of them in their various toy stages--with train tracks crossing one side of the room to the other, "sets" of many and varied collections, stuffed animals that all had a name and a purpose, etc.

 

That means that over the years we have had A LOT of toys.  Still do, actually--at 10 and 13 my boys are still into their favorite toys.  Not as much as when they were younger, of course, but enough to warrant the fact that we have quite a few toys still around. 

 

But it doesn't mean that my house was or is overrun by toy mayhem.  I'm huge on organization, and a place for everything.  That means lots of boxes/bins, and a shelving system that keeps the boxes/bins accessible to adults only (when they were younger, anyway--at their ages now they get the toys down and put them away themselves).   We might have had the train box out for a week, and when that got old, it was put away and replaced with the toy animal box, or the movie character toys box, or the army guys box, or . . .  you get the idea.

 

And sometimes, because my boys were pretty creative with their toys when they were younger, it involved specific pieces from different boxes, all arranged into elaborate sets that often took up their entire room.  But it was played with for a day and then dismantled, every toy into its own place.

 

My kids understood and appreciated this system, because it meant they could usually find the toy they were looking for and didn't have to dig through mountains of toy garbage to even find floor space to play. 

 

So I'm a big advocate of toys and the creative play that they inspire, but I'm also a fan of organization and order.    Making a system, sticking to it, and teaching your kids to work within it is a great way to have a collection of toys that are enjoyed, appreciated, and cared for.

 

[Soror]

I would/have and I don't rotate. If there is too much stuff my kids aren't able to play with anything and they don't like the mess either although they're not always able to take care of it or recognize the problem. My kids generally thank me for helping them clear out their stuff. I would only keep the stuff that has an emotional attachment for someone and/or is actually played with, there is no reason to keep anything else.

[ocelotmom]

I did it a few months ago - we needed to put some stuff in storage prior to some house reorganization. The kids were happier when I was done - the stuff they did have remaining was more accessible, and they had more room to use it. And since it's in storage and not actually gone-gone (yet!), they didn't really feel any loss.

[srs]

If I have to pick it up, it gets bagged up and put away in storage. I will remind my kids to put away their most loved toys. We have a good storage system now and the oldest will tell anyone who will listen where each toy's "home" is.

[Storygirl]

  I think we're also going to have to have a talk with the grandparents about quality over quantity, but I don't think that'll be all that successful. 

 

We had this talk with my in-laws. At that moment, it didn't go well (no arguments, but clearly disappointment). But I showed her a picture of my toddler daughter standing behind her stack of Christmas presents, with her arms folded on top. It was a good visual picture of the problem. And since we have four children, getting multiple presents for each child from everyone resulted in a lot of toys. I asked the in-laws to keep to a three gifts per child limit, and they did. I remind them that this means twelve new toys just from them, plus what the children get from everyone else, and I think going over the math helps a bit.

 

I've also asked them to avoid toys with little pieces, and they have complied. She did say this last Christmas that she wasn't planning to follow any rules but just get them what she wanted, but she still kept to the limits anyway.

 

I can't promise that it will work for you, but it's worth a try. I did also ask them to buy the kids a group gift one year that was more expensive, so that is an option as well.  I would not emphasize quality over quantity in the conversation, however, because you don't want to insinuate that they have been giving the children cheap, junky things. Just ask them to keep to a numerical limit.

[Jenny in Florida]

I am not comfortable giving away someone else's belongings without their knowledge or permission.

 

So, while I think keeping only a few toys at a time in active rotation is a great idea, I would not institute this for purpose of hoping the kids would forget so that I could get rid of things behind their backs.

[craftyerin]

I instituted a "toy library" instead of having a rotation that was on me to rotate.  They can get out whatever they want, whenever they want it, but they can't have more than 3 things out in any one room at a time.  (We have no play room, so toys are in bedrooms).  Toy library lives in the shed, although I'd KILL for a good closet inside that I could use instead.  I've had it in practice almost a year and it has saved my sanity.  No one has more out than they can reasonably clean up.  Everyone gets to play with whatever they're most interested in.  But my house is not run over by toys. 

[Pippen]

No one ever played with our Lincoln Logs either. They're back in the attic.

 

Also had a talk with my mom about gifts and it went terribly. I hurt her feelings and regretted doing it.

[FriedClams]

I did it when my kids were younger and it was AWESOME!!!!! The kids played so much better, they were more grateful, it was easier to clean. I'd keep them put up and in 3-4 months donte whatever hasn't been asked about.

[MiMi 4under3]

Sounds good to me. 

 

When kids have too much, everything becomes nothing. If given only a few, quality toys, they will be everything to DC.

[Desert Strawberry]

My kids get one basket/box at a time. There are fewer than 10 between all four of them. It's great. 

I cut back the toys every year or two. They build up like crazy. My kids always know what I am doing, and are always ok with it. They thanked me last time because the playroom is so much bigger and cleaner now. 

When they get a toy out, they really play with it. Not just dump it on the floor, not mix it up and lose the pieces. They keep it as long as they like, and let me know when they are ready for something else. 

 

[foxbridgeacademy]

The only toys I have gotten rid of were cheap and broken(probably because I just stepped on it).  Otherwise WE go through the toys and I ask them bit by bit "how about this? Can we get rid of this one?"  It's been years since we've done that (they're too grown up for "toys").  I wouldn't throw them away without the older children's agreement.  I still have a smidge of resentment (as do my sisters) about our mom throwing out some of our "ratty old stuffies" that were cherished and loved by us (without her realizing of course).  So I suggest you do the whole rotational thing.  Before boxing up the old and bringing out the "new" have them go through and get rid of any broken or no longer loved toys.  It will dwindle in time.  

[Dory]

There are a lot of toys here that the kids won't play with for ages and then suddenly go through a phase where they are fascinated with it again. Once a year we do go through the toys and get rid of anything that they have outgrown, is broken, or they specifically tell me they don't want anymore. Usually they each have a box that has to be filled with things that will leave and they help me fill those boxes. Everything else is reorganized and put away. I like them having things around that stimulate them to create and play. Toys often are suddenly used in ways that I wouldn't never thought to use them for. We do an every evening pick up though. It was more messy when they were toddlers, but now that all three are getting older it's not as big of an issue. Clean up goes faster. Now they usually help clean up more then just their toys.

[Chris in VA]

I'm in two minds about throwing away what isn't played with, w/o the kids' permission. Part of me thinks I can make better decisions than they can, and part of me wants to honor their attachments. For example, I would never throw away stuffies; I was quite attached to mine. Stuffies are not blocks--they are real. ;)  But that noisy baby toy everyone has outgrown? Plastic crap? Puzzles that are too easy? Yes, I'd pitch without consulting. (Well, I did keep The Magic Shakey Toy that used to calm dd...)

 

Anyway, I'd go for pretty storage.

Maybe go through some toys and get your kids to release some? You could pre-sort into two piles--These we are keeping, these I need your help deciding on.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I probably wouldn't put them all away then pull them out on request, just because that requires too much of ME all the time, but yes, I would definitely REDUCE!  There are some great step-by-step instructions in the book Simplicity Parenting.  Trying to remember off the top of my head:

 

- immediately toss anything that is broken or missing pieces (puzzles or games, etc.)

- immediately toss anything that came from a happy meal.  lol. 

- reduce all stuffed animals to a set number per kid.  In our (tiny) apartment, my kids each get three.  If there are some additional favorites, put those in storage and allow kids to rotate, never having more than x out at a time. 

- Get rid of toys that are developmentally inappropriate.  This is harder to do with a large age spread though. 

- Pile up everything else and reduce by half immediately, putting one half in storage. 

 

Then wait for a bit and see.  You may find you need to pull out some favorites from storage and put away things you thought were better liked but aren't getting used. 

 

Every time I do this (a couple times a year) I find that I can usually FURTHER reduce a couple weeks later, because having all the clutter out of the way gives the kids more room to play and appreciate those toys that really do get the most mileage- in our house it's the play kitchen/accessories, and lego.  We could live with just those two things.  But for variety, we also have out wooden blocks, train set, and duplo. 

 

It will feel soooooooo good to get rid of stuff!

[Lisbeth]

I wouldn't sneak and do it....it ju s t feels wrong. I would work it out with the kids.

[73349]

I have rotated for years--DS's birthday is right after Christmas and we have no playroom, so it's a survival strategy. If I bring something back out and there's no interest, I ask whether it's time to pass this along to a smaller child, and often he says it is.

 

When he was a toddler, I was careful to do it once a week while he was in quiet time or out with DH. Now I just take notice of when he seems bored.

 

They may be thankful that you clean it all up for them. They will have more space to play. But I think if they don't ask for something for a couple of months, it's better to see whether they want it back than get rid of it without asking.

[Kathryn]

I'm also not a fan of sneaking. I'd involve them in the plan.

[ksr5377]

OK, well first, in regards to storage, we have it.  Just not enough for the toys we have.  HOWEVER, what we have is an entire wall of shelving that's 7ft tall and 15 ft. across.   We also have 4 tall bookshelves and 2 smaller bookshelves.  Then there are the 2 toy boxes plus the 3 drawer plastic dresser for all the Legos.  Then there's the extra dresser that houses all the clothing for dolls and Barbies.  There is also a small TV stand and a loveseat down there as well as a queen sized bed.  The bed does take up a decent amount of floor space, but we really need to keep it for when grandparents come to visit (usually at least one weekend a month) and come on, we're talking 600 sq. ft.  We should be able to comfortably fit a bed in it!  It's not that the toys aren't being put away, it's really the number of toys.  I also hate the idea of sneaking them away and was planning on talking to the children about it, but my oldest really does have hoarder tendencies.  Everyone is saying to get rid of the McDonald's toys, but she has an entire plastic bin of them, she will notice if they disappear.  I have asked her about donating, passing on to younger cousins as well as selling things to raise money for some new things.  She doesn't like any of these ideas.  They other two don't really care and love the idea of passing things along to younger ones.  It's not so much that they aren't putting things away as it is that there's really no more room. Things are no longer fitting on the shelves and now there are totes and baskets and bags surrounding the room.  We have legos, magnatiles, Lincoln logs, Barbies, AG dolls, baby dolls, 2 kitchens, 1 workbench, wood trains and electric trains, Playmobil, Calico Critters, board games and puzzles (2 overflowing bookshelves of them) and the list goes on and on.  And not only do we have an unlimited number of options but we have too much of each thing as well.  Wood trains take up 4 baskets.  The electric trains take up 2 18-gallon totes.  The Barbies - 2 dresser drawers.  Because in the past I haven't gotten rid of anything my eldest said she wanted to keep.  But as I'm writing this I'm beginning to think about the possibility of just paring down each option.  So instead of picking one type of train, maybe getting each type of train into one container? 

[Dory]

Don't ask her, tell her a box has to be filled up with toys that are leaving. It will teach her to let I of some things and she will be upset, but probably less upset then if things just disappear. My oldest never has a problem with it but my dd struggled with it right until this last year. Anything that isn't broken I have them take to a charity. There is a good feeling in that and I want the kids to see it through all the way. I have also found that the more I involve them in other volunteer work the more willing they are to give up some things for others.

[Chris in VA]

Wow.

 

That IS a lot.

 

If there's really hoarder tendencies, then there are issues to work on.

 

Still, I'd definitely be setting boundaries that they are obviously unable or unwilling to set. It would be an uncomfortable but necessary parenting decision for me, as I don't believe that amount of "stuff" is healthy.

 

Splitting into even more containers (but not getting rid of things) wouldn't solve the problem at all, imo.

[StaceyinLA]

I enjoy reading these threads because I know what I did as a mom, but I like to get input on how to behave with toys and gifts as a grandparent.

 

So far I feel like I have done well. I tend to do a big gift then add to it. For instance dgs' Thomas train stuff. Dh built him an amazing table with a low table on casters under it. I bought him a big wooden set, and we just add to it. He gets more engines, cool pieces of track, etc. I also spent several hours last time I was there mounting the track on the low table with tiny nails so dgd couldn't destroy it all the time. They get their money's worth out of that train!

 

I get cute foodie stuff and dishes to add to their play kitchen.

 

I am anxiously awaiting dgd to be ready for a Bitty Baby, so I can start building that collection for her.

 

I'm also open to larger, joint gifts if dd wants me to go that route.

 

The only area in which I tend to overdo is books, but I'm willing to pay for bookshelves if needed. ;-p

[Kathryn]

If there are hoarder tendencies, secretly disposing of things can make it worse. You need to work together on this to show how to effectively deal with too much stuff.

[SebastianCat]

Ever since my kids have been the age of your oldest, I let them choose what gets thrown or given away, but it's a process we go through several times each year.   My 12 year old is almost out of the toy stage now, so he hasn't had quite as much to purge recently.   We try to ask questions like, "When's the last time I played with this?" and if it hasn't been played with recently, it's a candidate to be given away.

 

As for gifts, we've started asking the grandparents for more experience-based gifts, rather than toys.   Things like baseball game tickets, theme park passes, tickets to a play or an event.   Those gifts make memories without taking up as much space. :)  

[acsnmama]

Quality over quantity is definitely our motto here.

 

I have purged a good amount of toys. We only keep what is played with, what is good quality or what may be used in the future. I know that you don't want to upset your children, and with that said, it can be hard.

 

At a young age they need to be taught that you have to let things go, you mentioned you've allowed her to dictate what is kept. While there is nothing wrong with that, she is going to have an even harder time as she gets older. My daughter also has a terrible time letting things go. However, she has gotten over it quickly and life is easier with less, for myself and my kids! The extra may be overwhelming her as well, but she just doesn't know it!

 

Try talking to her about helping you box up things that don't get played with often. Help her understand the benefit of parting with some things, etc.

[ChristusG]

We purge slowly over time. We've done a massive toy overhaul within the past year or so. I've found that if we do it several different times, it's easier for them to handle. For example, during the first purge I'd tell them that I want them to weed out their stuffed animals until they were down to 30 animals each (yes, we were at a much higher number than that at one point). Then, a few months later, I'd have them purge again. I'd tell them that they need to be down to 20 stuffed animals each. And I'd do this for quite a few different categories of toys. We did it for Barbies, trains/cars, people/animal figures, Little People, etc. For things like trains/cars, I gave them a shoe box sized plastic container and told them that they could choose whatever trains/cars they wanted to keep, but they all had to fit into this container with the lid closed. I weed out the junk.....Happy Meal toys, goody bag prizes, outgrown toys, broken toys, etc.

 

Now I'm pretty satisfied with the amount of toys that we have. Our main problem is the fact that my 10 year old is somewhat of a hoarder. She wants to keep everything because it is "special".....every drawing, ever notebook, every rock she finds, everything she makes at camp, everything. Her side of the room is a cluttered mess.....my 7 year olds side of the room is much tidier.

[Catwoman]

IMO, your oldest child is still to young for you to be concerned about hoarder tendencies.

 

At that age, she just wants to keep her stuff.

 

I wouldn't read anything more into it than that.

 

Personally, your kids are all still young, so I wouldn't throw things away or donate them yet, but if there are things they rarely play with, I see no reason not to pack them up for a while. Just make a note of where you put things so if one of your kids asks for something you put away, you'll be able to find it without searching through every single box. :)

[Tohru]

Mine have LOTS of toys to play with.  The toys with lots of pieces or lower interest get thrown into a cardboard banker's box, labeled and stacked in the garage.  It's not really rotating - it's more like impulse playing.  If they want to play with something they don't normally play with, like safari animals or potato head, I bring the box in the house for a few days or longer.  When they get bored of it, the box goes back into the garage. 

 

Although it works for us because we have the storage space. 

 

They get all the presents they want and no one's feelings are hurt.  When they are truly done with a set of toys, it gets donated. 

 

Broken toys are always thrown away immediately.  So are pens and markers that don't work :)  It drives me nuts when some one puts back a dried out marker for some one else.

 

 

[Luanne]

I don't know how you could possibly know what your 3 year old and 3 month old would want to play with at some point.  Or are you planning on buying new toys for them as they get older?  I wouldn't get rid of a lot of toys when your children are that young.