S/O Non-Gifted Parent Homeschooling Gifted Kids

[Spring Flower]

When we first decided to homeschool, I was so scared to tell my DH's family the news. It is no secret to his family that I am NOT the sharpest tool in the shed. How would I be able to educate our children?

 

My husband and I have never had our IQs tested. Making an educated guess, his is really high, mine is average or low average. Our children have not yet had IQ tests either, but it is obvious to me (and every stranger that my children converse with) that DD7 and DS5 are very intelligent. 

 

Because my children are so gifted, I feel completely overwhelmed as their parent. Completely. Overwhelmed. They live in a world that I will never understand. Only after reading several books on gifted children and spending more than 2 years lurking in this forum have I found a little peace in this journey.

 

When people notice how bright my children are they say things like, "Oh how wonderful it must be to have such smart children!" I usually smile and say something like, "Oh, thank you." But deep in my heart I want to say, "Actually it is SO hard! My kids have so many issues that accompany their giftedness. I can be really overwhelming. I feel lonely and isolated. No one can understand the experiences we are having." Anyone else feel this way sometimes? It maybe sounds.... ungrateful. I almost feel ashamed to admit those feelings now. 

 

As I mention almost every time I post, I am so grateful for this forum. I particularly enjoy hearing experiences from those of you who were gifted as children. Hearing your struggles as a child and then stories of overcoming those struggles give me hope for my children. I also love hearing about your gifted children. It helps me to realize that mine are not the only "quirky" ones in the world. Somehow, I know I will make it through our homeschooling journey.  :001_smile:

 

[Ad astra]

Well, it may not be helpful but I'm not even a native speaker. I'd spent 90% of my life in my home country and everything I'd learn at school was in my native language. I knew nothing about phonics until I taught my DS. I basically have to learn everything all over again in English with my DC step by step, side by side. And I'm very excited about it. I was at the Science Museum with kids this mornig and thought to myself "It's like I'm reliving my childhood!" LOL

 

As moms, we tend to underestimate ourselves. I'm sure you are a very good mom and superb teacher to your kids. :)

[Dmmetler]

I was identified GT (actually, 2e, although I never heard the term until a few years ago), but I can tell you, it doesn't help, because my gifts and DD's gifts really don't overlap much. I just plain don't think like her, and in her areas of interest, she long since passed my level of knowledge (or interest, to be honest).  I think homeschooling by it's very nature is flying by the seat of your pants and hoping you don't mess up too critically :). Don't sell yourself short-I'm sure you're doing just as well as the rest of us are!

 

 

[SeaConquest]

I think that you are selling yourself short. The fact that you are homeschooling and are proactive enough to seek out advice in a forum like this speaks volumes about your ability to meet your children's needs.

[Guest Egaugh]

I really feel ya. My children are highly gifted. Me, not so much. At least in the traditional sense :). I have tried every educational option there is. Every. One. We keep coming back to homeschooling because in the end, my children can learn with higher interest, more depth, and more acceleration than they would ever get in school. I've tried. Also, with gifted kids there seems to be a higher need for character development that you can really work on at home, and that you can do best because you are their mom. So, gifted or not, your wisdom and moral training is what they will need most. Also, I've been in sales, and those people are pretty darn dynamic and full of personality. Keep at it.

[desertflower]

Don't be so hard on yourself. We can't all be doctors. Otherwise, who will home school our kids. Lol

 

Your children are not quirky. The Good Lord makes us all different for a reason.

 

I agree with what SeaConquest said. Hats off to you for sticking with homeschooling.

[Spring Flower]

Thanks for the encouragement and feedback everyone! 

[Spring Flower]

I was identified GT (actually, 2e, although I never heard the term until a few years ago), but I can tell you, it doesn't help, because my gifts and DD's gifts really don't overlap much. I just plain don't think like her, and in her areas of interest, she long since passed my level of knowledge (or interest, to be honest).  I think homeschooling by it's very nature is flying by the seat of your pants and hoping you don't mess up too critically :). Don't sell yourself short-I'm sure you're doing just as well as the rest of us are!

 

Perfect. Thank you!

[Cammom220]

My husband and I are intelligent, but I wouldn't say "gifted." Our son tested as HG/EG . His mind works differently than ours and he's challenging. There's something about regression to the mean, that basically says there isn't a 1 to 1 correlation between parent and child IQ. It's indeed possible for two intelligent people to give birth to an outlier, the same as it's possible for two outliers to give birth to a child within the bell curve.

In fact, we never considered giftedness when DS was a preschooler because we assumed his intellect, at most, would mirror our own. It led to some misunderstandings- for instance when DS was little, he did things that made us think he might be autistic or have ADHD.

We "after school" - we don't homeschool. I will say that being "ready" to do certain things has just as much to do with emotional maturity as it does with intelligence. I wouldn't extrapolate too much - kids will surprise you.

[AimeeM]

I'm there. Well, I guess. I've never had an IQ test that I'm aware of (my mother says I did at some point), but I do not feel that I'm gifted. I was labeled GT in school, but I think I was simply a good reader and a good test taker. Goodness knows I feel far less than gifted next to my children. My husband is identified as exceptionally/profoundly gifted. He claims I balance him :P

If I *am* gifted at all, it's not in any way that overlaps my children's gifts. I enjoy reading, for example, while two of my three children preference, like my husband, maths and sciences. In fact, my eldest is 2E, dyslexic and gifted, so she's my academic polar opposite. I struggled incredibly to understand her own struggle with reading and writing.

 

[kiwik]

I live in a country that doesn't really acknowledge giftedness or have any programmes. I assumed my kids would be bright given I am and so is their father (but neither of us know our IQs) but I wasn't expecting what I got. We just afterschool too as I am a single parent with a poorly paid job (i am one of those bright people who ended up with depression, learned helplessness and underachievment).

 

You can do it. Gifted kids are all different so being gifted wouldn't necessarily help you).