Thoughts on Flylady?

[Meadowlark]

I'm thinking about canceling our help....

 

But, I am seriously wondering if I can maintain my house on my own (and with the kids all 5 of whom are under 8)

 

I need a schedule of little things every day, as I just do not have a chunk do time on the weekends to clean. Is flylady helpful with this sort of thing, or do you know of another resource I should look into? Honestly, the website is vast and a little confusing to me.

 

I'm not a perfectionist, but the bathrooms wouldn't get cleaned unless it was on the schedule, if you KWIM :-)

[Aiden]

I paid $8 for a chore list from Motivated Moms. It schedules tasks for the entire year, though of course I make some modifications to fit my house and life. I try to do those tasks plus the ones Flylady schedules in the zones. So for me, the MM list is the routine maintenance, and Flylady is the periodic deeper clean. It works well when I stick with it ... which isn't as often as it should be, even though I only have one little one ...

 

Edited to fix funny word choices made by the auto correct on my phone :)

[acreecav]

I'm a seriously disorganized, routine-averse person (when I look at other people's houses, I always wonder if I'm missing a gene).  FlyLady's babysteps are the only way i've ever made any improvement.  

 

On the main site, there's an option called "Get Started."  If you sign up for the emails, her methods will start making sense. You can also cut back on the email volume if it's too much, and just copy down the daily routines to start with.  When I first heard of FlyLady's advice to start by shining your kitchen sink, I thought this was nuts.  The whole house was chaos, so polishing the sink felt like polishing the brass on a sinking ship.  But I tried it, and it started to make sense.  I now make the bed every day, get dressed to shoes, and so on.  I don't have to think about it anymore, like brushing my teeth.

 

It could be what you are looking for, and you can divvy up the small tasks among your kids.  Good luck!

[ajfries]

I have a love/hate relationship with it. One month their habit was laying out clothes for the next day and it changed my life. I don't lay in bed in the morning trying to figure out what to wear any more. I always hated the dress to shoes thing, too, but I do find that I'm much more active when I'm wearing my tennis shoes. Making the bed every day has also helped a ton.

 

I think she's got some great points, but it gets buried in other stuff. For someone who emphasizes simplicity and decluttering, she's got the worst website I've ever seen. And the daily digest of the e-mails consist mostly of "testimonials" about how her "purple rags" or various other products have made their lives so much easier (at least that's what I remember of it).

 

I find the motivational phrases kind of cheesy, but I think the system itself is good. I love the 'you can do anything for 15 minutes', 'you're not behind, jump in where you are' and the whole let go of perfectionism stuff. I've found the habits to be helpful.

 

I get hung up on the zones because they don't "match" my house, but that's my perfectionism rearing it's ugly head. I do slightly better with rotating through my own zones from day to day, though I must admit; things don't get deep cleaned this way.

 

 

[Guest]

Flylady has two rigid rule that don't work for me:

 

Shoes (causes knee, back, foot pain if i wear them 24/7)

You cannot soak dishes in your kitchen sink (I don't have or want a dishwasher)

 

and she is so inflexible about em that I am not just a failed Flybaby, i am a waste of skin that has no right to breathe, lol.

 

Sidetracked Home Executive is good and Don Aslett might help you too. Donna Young has free household planners:

 

http://donnayoung.org/household/

 

and Choreganizers is very tweakable and worked well with ds1 before he could read.

 

Don't expect to know everything a full time housekeeper does or to be able to get your house as clean with dollar store discards as she does with the tools she has researched and invested in over the years she has been in her line of business.

[MiMi 4under3]

I get tons more done if I'm wearing lace up shoes. 

 

I also do more if I set my timer for 15 minute increments.

 

I don't really follow the zones, but I do the "missions"

[MomtoCandJ]

I'm a fly lady failure... Maybe having add doesn't help but I have a routine (a very simple one) that I stick to. Deep clean on weekends when dh can help with the girls and maintain the rest of the week. Usually I get four rooms done per week end, kitchen, living room and bathroom done every weekend and I rotate the two bedrooms.

The zones don't work in my house, I don't have a dishwasher, I don't wear my shoes (I have a crawling baby and a sandy yard with no grass), I don't have the money to spend on special products, and so on...

[Kim in Appalachia]

I have the flylady app on my phone, and I find it helpful.  I don't always follow all of her advice, but I take what's useful for me.  I like the rotation, and I like the checklists on the app.  I do always wear my shoes, but not because she recommends it (if I don't wear them I get sore feet and pain in my back), but I don't clean my sink every night, and I don't clean it the way she describes, but I do clean it almost every night.  

 

I don't do her emails, or go to the website, so I can't comment on that.  

[Ellie]

I prefer Sidetracked Home Executives (which is where the Flylady got her start) because it doesn't depend on the computer for anything. :-)

[Word Nerd]

I don't do the FlyLady system (it's too rigid and too overwhelming for my taste), but it is worthwhile to browse the articles on her website. I skimmed through her book and website and picked up several useful ideas that I've incorporated at home. 

[Night Elf]

I'm not using Flylady now, but I should be. Honestly, when I did, that was really when my house looked its best. I too was overwhelmed with the website, but I figured out the bones of the plan. I made my lists and followed them. I knew exactly what I had to do each day, and because I had a list, I knew about how long it would take me for each task. Now I'm all willy nilly and my house isn't up to my standards. Maybe I'll get out my lists again. You're making me want to clean something!

[Clear Creek]

I have the Motivated Moms app on my phone. It gives me a checklist of things to do each day, including daily chores (like bathroom sinks), weekly chores (like vacuuming) and larger tasks like cleaning out the refrigerator. The larger tasks are broken down into smaller tasks over a period of days; like cleaning one shelf of the fridge each day. The tasks are mostly things that can be done in 15 minutes, so no item is overwhelming. The task list is editable, so if it assigns something I don't have/do, then I just hide it; and I can assign myself tasks on a regular schedule (like cleaning the litter box daily).

[Forget-Me-Not]

For someone who emphasizes simplicity and decluttering, she's got the worst website I've ever seen.

My issue too.

[Wheres Toto]

Motivated Moms website is evidently down for maintenance. 

 

I'm a Flylady failure.  Now that I'm back working full time, I really need to find something that will work.  I hate having to spend the weekend cleaning or being too busy on the weekend and things not getting done.

 

I might need to revisit the Sidetracked Home Executives.  But they don't have an app.  I like the idea of an App since I always have my phone handy.  The Flylady app looks like it does too much - I don't need the whole calendar thing but maybe it's not bad to use without that stuff?

 

[AmyontheFarm]

FlyBaby here.  Each of my friends found something useful on her website, amusingly none of us found the same thing useful.  But that just might be the point.  The whole system would be overwhelming and you are NOT supposed to do it all at once.  

 

Think of it as a four year history cycle that you keep cycling through.  Each time you go through that history cycle something different sticks in your memory and you have the energy to do a different craft or activity which helps you to never forget that history fact.

 

The FlyLady system is similar in that each year as you cycle through the different months and zones, different things will stick, and usually stick for a long time.  I've found that it's easy to step back into the parts of the FlyLady system that you enjoy when you do drift away for awhile because you remember what you have to do.

 

Just take everything in baby steps and enjoy the ride!

 

Could you have your lady come a bit less often at first and sort of wean yourself onto FlyLady?  Maybe have her do a big clean of the bathrooms and then you take over and maintain from there.  You might find that you only need help once a month of so.  With so many little ones I would keep a cleaner part time if I could afford it.

[TammyS]

Do you know just what your cleaning help does each time they come and how long it takes?  Maybe you could fashion some way to "become the help"?  If you have a good friend nearby maybe you could each take turns watching the kids (say, for a couple hours each, or half a day) and being the help at your house?  Say, Tuesdays from 10-12, you clean and she gets the kids, then you get the kids from 1-3 while she cleans?  Or something like it?

I'm thinking about canceling our help....

 

 

[Meadowlark]

The more I think about it, I think I would operate most efficiently with a daily list. Obviously, every families needs/homes are different but is there anything like this out there already that I can customize? Electronic would be best, but I'd even do paper and pencil if need be. DH and I set up lists for after the kids go to bed, so we both have our own responsibilities and it had honestly changed our lives! I think incorporating a bit more like that might benefit me.

 

Flylady confuses me! Her website is indeed cluttered, which is very ironic :-)

[SebastianCat]

FlyLady helped me tremendously as a new mom trying to juggle what was overwhelming to me at the time.   I subscribed to the emails for a while, then once I got the hang of it I stopped the emails and continued with my own system.   

 

To the OP, it can't hurt to try.   Can you cancel your help for a trial of 3-6 months and work together with your kids?   Maybe use the money you were paying for household help and save it toward something special as a motivation?

[kewb]

I am a fly lady drop out. The one lesson that stuck, my kitchen sink shines.

[idnib]

5 kids under 8 sounds difficult for keeping the house clean. Is there a reason you want to cancel?

 

Maybe you should schedule the cleaning lady for the end of the month each month and she can catch you up on anything you've gotten behind on. You can even give her things from your list you need crossed off instead of having her do everything. That would remove some pressure from you.

[AMJ]

I have the flylady app on my phone, and I find it helpful.  I don't always follow all of her advice, but I take what's useful for me.  I like the rotation, and I like the checklists on the app.  I do always wear my shoes, but not because she recommends it (if I don't wear them I get sore feet and pain in my back), but I don't clean my sink every night, and I don't clean it the way she describes, but I do clean it almost every night.  

 

I don't do her emails, or go to the website, so I can't comment on that.  

 

The part I bolded above is at the core of Flylady.

 

She doesn't think or want her way to be the only way for everyone else.  She doesn't expect her way to completely match what your house needs.  She tells her way of doing things, and how she got there.  No, it's not the best designed site, and her book (Sink Reflections) isn't award-winning writing.  They aren't meant to be.  She got started with her website because people kept asking her how she did things.  She started the Flyshop (her store) to support the website and keep it free for any and all who could find it.

 

I first found out about Flylady several years ago, when I was working full-time, trying to manage 2 kids (one with issues in school), daycare, and a Dad who seemed to need increasing amounts of my time and money.  I was stressed out and the house was always a disaster.  Strangely, I had a reputation at work of being rather organized, but it was because I used existing structure, or brought in structure I learned elsewhere.  I am NOT born-organized.

 

I was stymied and scoffed a bit myself, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try, so I shined my sink.  Every dirty dish was piled higher on the counter and the floor still needed sweeping (and mopping), and the rest of the house was chaos, but I shined that sink.  And I found I liked having that one spot clean. 

 

Over many months I tried to establish habits incrementally, as she recommends.  Many times I would falter and fall of the Flylady wagon, usually because yet another disruption occurred that derailed my fledgling routines.  This went on for months, and then for years.  It is, in fact, still happening.

 

But over repeated "restarts" (my concept of it) I found that while I wasn't managing the daily and weekly routines as much as I thought I should, I WAS remembering certain things.  They had become habits.

 

In the past year and a half I've had, yet again, a lot that has derailed me and kept me repeatedly and constantly distracted enough to have dropped many (but not all) of the habits I had formed at one time.  I need to launch myself again through the baby steps not only to help myself build routines for this coming school year (homeschooling and keeping up with the housework), but to teach my kids how to do this, too.  Knowing how to build routines to handle the many sundry tasks of living is a vital life skill.

 

Over the years I've found that some of Flylady's way works for me and some doesn't.  This will be true for most people, in fact, I don't think I have ever met someone who follows ALL of Flylady's methods and scheduling.  The only person I expect that to work for 100% is Flylady herself.  I don't wear shoes more than I have to, because I'm hot and having my feet bare helps cool me down.  Yes, I have broken toes in the past (once I broke the same toe twice in the same day, stubbing it on the very same chairleg).  It helps me learn to slow down and pay better attention to my surroundings.

 

I have bought some things from the Flyshop in the past, but only because I was curious about them.  Control Journal -- tried it, didn't like it in its entirety, though I would make time-of-day routine lists and post those places for myself (and that did help).  Rubba Scrubba -- great brush, can't say enough good stuff about it, but similar items can be found elsewhere.  I have and still like her wallet (I'm on my second, having spent years wearing out my first one).  But for the most part I don't need to shop her store, since I already have tools that work well for me.  Only you will know what will work for you, so take it a piece at a time and try out those bits.  If a piece works, great, if it doesn't, move on to the next.

 

Most of all, though, I appreciated the cheering she and her Flycrew give.  It was their unswerving rooting for us all and their persistently cheerful optimism and yes-you-can spirit that kept me going at times.  Yes, I find it all overly emotional at times and did from the start, until I needed just that level of support and emoting myself.  They are offering their best intentions and help to a very large population, so I just take it in stride when it doesn't speak to me so much and recognize that it might be just what someone else needs to hear sometimes.

 

So, as a form of introduction to Flylady, here's a gleaning of what I consider some of her key points:

• Baby steps.  I can't emphasize that enough -- if something seems daunting, break it down into tinier pieces and take it a piece at a time.  This especially goes for reading Flylady's website.
• You are not behind.  This is a version of "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."  It doesn't matter much where you start, so long as you do.
• Housework done imperfectly still blesses the family.  Stop looking at what you haven't done yet or what you think you didn't do right.  If it's cleaner than it was when you started then that should be clear indication of progress.  PERFECTION IS UNACHIEVABLE, SO FORGET ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.  You wouldn't expect your kids to do a perfect job of it right off the bat, would you?  Extend yourself this same consideration, and realize that if you look for perfectionism you will always find a flaw.  Forget the flaws -- they nearly always don't matter at all.
• Recognize your accomplishments.  Pat your own back.  Take a break to observe and appreciate what you have done.  This really is important, so don't shirk it.  You deserve it.
• The Shiny Sink is important.  It isn't just a sink, it's an example, and a metaphor.  When you are overloaded with all that has to be done it can be hard to know where to start.  Shining the sink gives you a place to start, and one that also happens to lend well to being able to then do something else (the sink is empty, so you can actually use it, after all).  Then carry this concept to the rest of the house.  In each room pick a "sink" to shine, or one spot to clean.  And for the whole house pick one room or location to be your "shiny sink" for the house. (Mine is the half bath, which gets used most often during the day and is most likely to be seen by visitors.  It also happens to be small and quite easy to clean thoroughly, thereby making my "sink" for my house easily achieved even when I'm disheartened and feeling overloaded.)

 

Give it a try, and see what you take from it.  Be kind to yourself, most of all.  We are all rooting for you (WTM forum folk as well as Flyfolk)!

[Meadowlark]

5 kids under 8 sounds difficult for keeping the house clean. Is there a reason you want to cancel?

 

Maybe you should schedule the cleaning lady for the end of the month each month and she can catch you up on anything you've gotten behind on. You can even give her things from your list you need crossed off instead of having her do everything. That would remove some pressure from you.

Well, it is a company actually with rotating workers, and I never know who's going to be in my house. Although I've met most of the employees and everyone is very nice, they are always late (and that is hard when I have to have 5 kids ready and out of the house), the cleaning is a little inconsistent, and we could use the extra money right now. But yes, I'm not sure how important that extra money will be when I'm a crazy, stressed out mom who starts homeschooling again in August :-). There has just been one problem after another, and I honestly wonder if they will pull the plug on me because I've voiced my concerns a few times. I'm just trying to prepare if that happens.

 

I do have my kids pitch in everyday as a part of their normal chores, but they obviously can't do the deep cleaning type stuff. I'm not sure where I'd find the time either unless it was in small increments. Oh, I don't know...maybe I should reconsider when school starts...this is my summer "on break" brain talking, lol!

[elfgivas]

flylady helped me when nothing else has.  like so many others, i don't do all of it, and not all of it her way.... but it gets me going, helps me up when i fall, etc, etc.  

 

why not just start?  start her baby steps, and keep your help for a month while you get the basics under your belt.  then you'll have a better idea of whether it will work or not.

 

a site called large family logistics helped me figure out how to have the kids be part of whatever system i was using.  again, i didn't do it all her way, but it got me thinking in new ways.

 

good luck!

ann

[Guest]

I hate the sink thing. It makes not a shred of sense to me. My sink is in constant use. The last thing I need is some new OCD concern to fixate on! She wants folks to put dishes in a dishpan under the sink all day so the sink itself can stay immaculate. That makes not a shred of sense, plus I am trying to teach my kids to clean up after themselves throughout the day. I don't want them stuffing dishes beneath the sink all day so that *I* get to address that mess before I make dinner!

[Clear Creek]

The more I think about it, I think I would operate most efficiently with a daily list. Obviously, every families needs/homes are different but is there anything like this out there already that I can customize? Electronic would be best, but I'd even do paper and pencil if need be. DH and I set up lists for after the kids go to bed, so we both have our own responsibilities and it had honestly changed our lives! I think incorporating a bit more like that might benefit me.

 

Flylady confuses me! Her website is indeed cluttered, which is very ironic :-)

 

That's what Motivated Moms is, a pre-generated customizable list. There is a free Lite version that has two weeks of chore lists for you to try out (it has limited functionality, though).

[Excelsior! Academy]

If you add up all of the missions and zones it adds up to quite a bit each day.  I took away what I've learned and meshed it into my own system.

[KungFuPanda]

I'm thinking about canceling our help....

But, I am seriously wondering if I can maintain my house on my own (and with the kids all 5 of whom are under 8)

I need a schedule of little things every day, as I just do not have a chunk do time on the weekends to clean. Is flylady helpful with this sort of thing, or do you know of another resource I should look into? Honestly, the website is vast and a little confusing to me.

I'm not a perfectionist, but the bathrooms wouldn't get cleaned unless it was on the schedule, if you KWIM :-)

I prefer Sidetracked Home Executives because my energy level and cleaning time change from day-to-day. I have two speeds, Stop and Full Speed Ahead. I've learned to just go with my natural rhythms. In YOUR case, I'd start with a simple, quick checklist. If you can't manage this, you might want to hold on to that service, or just hire a single, prompt person to help you.

 

http://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/cleaning/daily-cleaning-checklist-00000000000953/

[AMJ]

FlyBaby here.  Each of my friends found something useful on her website, amusingly none of us found the same thing useful.  But that just might be the point.  The whole system would be overwhelming and you are NOT supposed to do it all at once.  

 

Think of it as a four year history cycle that you keep cycling through.  Each time you go through that history cycle something different sticks in your memory and you have the energy to do a different craft or activity which helps you to never forget that history fact.

 

The FlyLady system is similar in that each year as you cycle through the different months and zones, different things will stick, and usually stick for a long time.  I've found that it's easy to step back into the parts of the FlyLady system that you enjoy when you do drift away for awhile because you remember what you have to do.

 

Just take everything in baby steps and enjoy the ride!

 

Could you have your lady come a bit less often at first and sort of wean yourself onto FlyLady?  Maybe have her do a big clean of the bathrooms and then you take over and maintain from there.  You might find that you only need help once a month of so.  With so many little ones I would keep a cleaner part time if I could afford it.

 

Very well stated!

 

[AMJ]

Well, it is a company actually with rotating workers, and I never know who's going to be in my house. Although I've met most of the employees and everyone is very nice, they are always late (and that is hard when I have to have 5 kids ready and out of the house), the cleaning is a little inconsistent, and we could use the extra money right now. But yes, I'm not sure how important that extra money will be when I'm a crazy, stressed out mom who starts homeschooling again in August :-). There has just been one problem after another, and I honestly wonder if they will pull the plug on me because I've voiced my concerns a few times. I'm just trying to prepare if that happens.

 

I do have my kids pitch in everyday as a part of their normal chores, but they obviously can't do the deep cleaning type stuff. I'm not sure where I'd find the time either unless it was in small increments. Oh, I don't know...maybe I should reconsider when school starts...this is my summer "on break" brain talking, lol!

 

Always late, have to have everyone out of the house, inconsistent results, apparently not taking well when you voice your concerns -- sounds like you should drop them before they drop you. 

 

Don't panic.  Your family will not die if your house isn't cleaned on time every week.  Look into Flylady or any of the other suggestions and try working household tasks into your day and week in short time increments.  You might be surprised at how well you do, and you can teach the kids some of the chores, too.

 

I've heard of more than one Mom putting her kids in their swimsuits, handing each a sopping wet towel, and setting them loose on a freshly swept floor.  The Moms would then follow around with a mop to contain some of the wet and catch any missed corners, and the kids would enjoy their indoor slip-and-slide time.  Surprisingly clean floors, less tired Moms, and no worries about the kids walking on the freshly mopped sections.

 

Flylady also has a "swish and swipe" routine, which is simply wiping down the sink and toilet each day, and swishing the bowl clean as well.  It takes only a minute per bathroom, and takes care of a lot of the visible grunge that would otherwise accumulate.  I've had soap spatters on the mirror and a sandy floor in my half bath and still had people comment on how clean it was, because the toilet and sink had been freshly touched up.

 

You can also try getting out the Easter baskets (or any managable-size bucket or basket for each ambulatory kid) and having the kids do a lost toys rescue.  They simply run around the house for 5 minutes to find as many toys out of place as they can and put them in the basket (they can pretend to be rescue helicopters, if they like).  At the end of the 5 minutes the kids deliver the rescued toys to their homes, putting them safely away.  Toys like this.  They feel happy to be rescued.

 

Read around.  There are lots of similar "sneaky tricks" to squeeze in a spot of cleaning here and there.  Try out ideas, and keep what works for you.

[Meadowlark]

I hate the sink thing. It makes not a shred of sense to me. My sink is in constant use. The last thing I need is some new OCD concern to fixate on! She wants folks to put dishes in a dishpan under the sink all day so the sink itself can stay immaculate. That makes not a shred of sense, plus I am trying to teach my kids to clean up after themselves throughout the day. I don't want them stuffing dishes beneath the sink all day so that *I* get to address that mess before I make dinner!

haha, me too! It didn't make a lot of sense to me, but I figured inexperienced me was missing something. Oh my, I cook, feed, and clean up,after this crew most of the day. My sink is always in use, but I do NOT let dishes pile up. It is almost always clean. So I guess I have that going for me :-). Actually, it's the bathrooms and floors that I can't keep up with. And the deep cleaning stuff, but they don't do that anyway I guess.

 

It usually takes 3 of them about 2.5 hours to do my house. So that's about 6 hours of my time, right?

 

I grew up in a house where my mom was ALWAYS cleaning. She was never, ever willing to just let it go and play. It bothered me and I vowed not to be that mom. But, I kind of am. :-( That's mostly why I hire someone. But I'm feeling like I'm emerging from survival mode and might be able to do it in the future...who knows.

[Ellie]

Motivated Moms website is evidently down for maintenance. 

 

I'm a Flylady failure.  Now that I'm back working full time, I really need to find something that will work.  I hate having to spend the weekend cleaning or being too busy on the weekend and things not getting done.

 

I might need to revisit the Sidetracked Home Executives.  But they don't have an app.  I like the idea of an App since I always have my phone handy.  The Flylady app looks like it does too much - I don't need the whole calendar thing but maybe it's not bad to use without that stuff?

 

I'm as computer savvy as almost anyone, but you know, there's a certain simplicity about just having color-coded 3x5 cards. :-)

[happi duck]

Another vote for Sidetracked Home Executives! I use their low tech card system...it's a life saver!

[KungFuPanda]

I'm as computer savvy as almost anyone, but you know, there's a certain simplicity about just having color-coded 3x5 cards. :-)

There's also no chance of checking your daily chore lost and ending up HERE for an hour. That's not nothing.

[KungFuPanda]

Dp

[Χά�ων]

I have tried to use fly lady several times. Each time I end up overwhelmed and in tears.

 

 

I do 15 minute sweeps instead. I set a timer and DS and I tackle as much as possible.

 

Another helpful hint: the washing machine doubles as the hamper. Run when full. Move when done. Empty dryer when done. Each thing takes only a few minutes and keeping up on laundry seems to make everything else seem ok.

[Ausmumof3]

When I fly lady our home is at its tidiest. Not like a lot of born organised houses but pretty good. I do feel like relationships suffer a bit though. I have to be quite focused to follow routines (a bit add ish possibly) and I tend to only do well with one area of life at once. Which means if my house is clean dh or kids don't get attention.

[Guest]

I much prefer the Motivated Moms app. Every time I have done Flylady, I get super stressed at the 30 min blessing part. I can never clean my house, or do what you were supposed to do, in that time. So my zones would be clean, but I never felt like the house was clean, if that makes sense. With Motivated Moms, I always feel like my house looks great. My problem with MM is that it takes a lot of time for me. Realistically, we do a family house cleaning every few weeks and call it good.

[kewb]

I should add that I don't keep the dishpan under the sink. Before I go to bed I make sure the sink shines. Then when I wake up I feel good knowing I have a clean sink. Until I go into the kitchen and see the dish my dh left in the sink because opening the dishwasher in the middle of the night is too difficult.

[Moxie]

I found the FL book at a used bookstore for $1.25. It's really helpful! The lists are all printed out and I don't have to deal with "purple puddle" stories--gag.

[Moxie]

I have tried to use fly lady several times. Each time I end up overwhelmed and in tears.

 

 

I do 15 minute sweeps instead. I set a timer and DS and I tackle as much as possible.

 

Another helpful hint: the washing machine doubles as the hamper. Run when full. Move when done. Empty dryer when done. Each thing takes only a few minutes and keeping up on laundry seems to make everything else seem ok.

I really need more coffee. I read this (multiple times) as "the dishwasher doubles as a hamper". I was really confused how that would work.

[ajfries]

So I signed back up for the emails.  And the one I got this morning was just about a lady writing her dissertation and having a close call with melanoma. Nothing about routines or habits or zones. I just want little reminders throughout the day. I don't need the rah rah mumbo jumbo. 

 

ETA: I take that back. There are links to the "flight plan" and such. But I would rather just have that in the body of the email. 

[Wheres Toto]

 

• The Shiny Sink is important.  It isn't just a sink, it's an example, and a metaphor.  When you are overloaded with all that has to be done it can be hard to know where to start.  Shining the sink gives you a place to start, and one that also happens to lend well to being able to then do something else (the sink is empty, so you can actually use it, after all).  Then carry this concept to the rest of the house.  In each room pick a "sink" to shine, or one spot to clean.  And for the whole house pick one room or location to be your "shiny sink" for the house. (Mine is the half bath, which gets used most often during the day and is most likely to be seen by visitors.  It also happens to be small and quite easy to clean thoroughly, thereby making my "sink" for my house easily achieved even when I'm disheartened and feeling overloaded.)

 

Give it a try, and see what you take from it.  Be kind to yourself, most of all.  We are all rooting for you (WTM forum folk as well as Flyfolk)!

 

This is going to sound silly, but it never occurred to me that the "sink" doesn't have to be "the sink".   Part of what's been holding me up on returning to Flylady is the idea that the shiny sink is most important.  But, doing the dishes is one of the few things dh has started doing since I returned to work.  He always did all the cooking, but now he does the dishes too.  Problem is, he does them first thing in the morning.  So, I can't really shine the sink at night without doing the dishes.  And I already do the laundry and all the other cleaning, I'd like to leave him doing the dishes.  But, I think cleaning the bathroom would be a good "sink shining" for our household.  Hmmmm.  

 

 

I'm as computer savvy as almost anyone, but you know, there's a certain simplicity about just having color-coded 3x5 cards. :-)

 

 

There's also no chance of checking your daily chore lost and ending up HERE for an hour. That's not nothing.

 

LOL, that is certainly a good point.

 

I think I'm going to revisit Flylady (but not sign up for the notifications because they annoyed me) AND Sidetracked Home Executives (I actually have the cards already made up) and maybe combine the ideas, using the index cards along with some notes/reminders in my bullet journal (which I just started).  :laugh:

 

How's that for hopping on all the trends at once?   :coolgleamA:

[AMJ]

There's also no chance of checking your daily chore lost and ending up HERE for an hour. That's not nothing.

 

True.  Very true.  :tongue_smilie:

[trinchick]

When I fly lady our home is at its tidiest. Not like a lot of born organised houses but pretty good. I do feel like relationships suffer a bit though. I have to be quite focused to follow routines (a bit add ish possibly) and I tend to only do well with one area of life at once. Which means if my house is clean dh or kids don't get attention.

 

This describes my situation exactly - even down to my suspicions about ADD. When I'm "flying" I get hyperfocused and it tends to take over a bit, which explains why I can only do flylady off and on - currently off.

 

 Every time I have done Flylady, I get super stressed at the 30 min blessing part. I can never clean my house, or do what you were supposed to do, in that time. So my zones would be clean, but I never felt like the house was clean, if that makes sense.

 

My DH is an awesome house tidier but not a great cleaner. He can get any room looking company-ready in 5 minutes flat. BUT if you look closely, you'll see that the room isn't actually clean. I, on the other hand, get bogged down in perfectionism and it will take me a full day to get a room to be what I consider clean (i.e., curtains and windows washed, baseboards cleaned, vacuumed behind/under the furniture and not just the middle of the room, etc.).

 

When I'm doing flylady, DH and I make a great team. He does the blessing, and I go back and really clean.

 

My best takeaway from flylady is that doing anything is better than doing nothing. Even 15 minutes of working on a clutter/cleaning issue is better than throwing up your hands and saying, "I can't get it right today, so I won't even try." I also like her message that anything you do, even if done imperfectly, blesses your family. I need to remind myself of this.

 

And the swish and swipe of the bathroom just makes so much sense. It takes all of 30 seconds to swish the toilet and wipe down the counters/sinks with a clorox wipe. I keep everything in the vanity and never have to be embarrassed about the state of my bathroom, which I think is the key indicator on the cleanliness of a home.

[AMJ]

This is going to sound silly, but it never occurred to me that the "sink" doesn't have to be "the sink".   Part of what's been holding me up on returning to Flylady is the idea that the shiny sink is most important.  But, doing the dishes is one of the few things dh has started doing since I returned to work.  He always did all the cooking, but now he does the dishes too.  Problem is, he does them first thing in the morning.  So, I can't really shine the sink at night without doing the dishes.  And I already do the laundry and all the other cleaning, I'd like to leave him doing the dishes.  But, I think cleaning the bathroom would be a good "sink shining" for our household.  Hmmmm.  

 

 

 

 

 

LOL, that is certainly a good point.

 

I think I'm going to revisit Flylady (but not sign up for the notifications because they annoyed me) AND Sidetracked Home Executives (I actually have the cards already made up) and maybe combine the ideas, using the index cards along with some notes/reminders in my bullet journal (which I just started).  :laugh:

 

How's that for hopping on all the trends at once?   :coolgleamA:

 

Sounds like a plan! 

 

And no, the kitchen sink (or any sink, for that matter) doesn't have to be The Sink.  The idea is to give yourself a place to start, so you don't get stuck on where to start. 

 

Also, just as clutter breeds clutter and hotspots always seem to grow if left unchecked, a clean spot in the room can exert its subliminal influence on you, subtly encouraging you to clean just a little bit more.  And even if you don't have the time or energy to clean more at that moment, it's a spot that is cleaner than it was before, giving you that much relieve from the overburden of all to be done.

 

If you go on to read Flylady materials for a while you will come across this point made and expanded upon throughout the year.  In each room or space, pick a spot and begin.  Make a habit of keeping that one spot tidied and cleaned routinely (not unused so it stays tidy, but cleaned up again after use), give time for this to really become habit (Flylady says 21 days to build a habit, I usually keep it up for a month to better cement the habit into place).  Once you have established a shiny sink spot for each room or space pick one for the house, a room or space you feel you will notice every single day. 

 

In the master bedroom my "shiny sink" is our bed.  I tidy the covers every morning to my own satisfaction and make sure DH's spare blankets are tidy, too.  In this way I am actually combining two habits Flylady encourages -- picking a shiny sink for the room, and making my bed every day.  It's amazing how having that one tidied spot gives a small island of refuge in the storm of chaos that can occur, and how much influence it has in my not letting the rest of the room get quite as bad as I used to.  And it only takes me 2 minutes each morning.

 

As I've stated before, my "whole house shiny sink" is our half-bath.  It's small, relatively uncluttered, and doesn't take a long time to thoroughly clean.  I swish and swipe it most every day and change out the hand towel (or I have my kids do these).  I try to get to the rest of it (cleaning the mirror, checking on TP and soap stocks, cleaning the soap dish and soap dispenser, cleaning the floor and cabinet doors) weekly.  Swish and swipe takes only 1 minute, and the thorough clean only takes 5, since I don't have the build-up of gunge around the toilet and sink.

 

When I get massively distracted by life's events again (as has happened in recent months) I do a few things to get me back on track, as I have the energy and 5-minute chunks of time in which to do them (this list can take days when I'm exhausted and overloaded, and it's okay to start with just one):

• I shine my kitchen sink (it's Corian, so it's not literally shiny.  "Shiny" means clean and pleasant and ready for use) (5 minutes)
• I shine my half-bath (5 minutes, 10 if I haven't been swishing ans swiping)
• make sure other bathrooms are swished and swiped (1 minute per bathroom)
• I wash all of the bedding for the master bed, and then for the kids' beds and make the beds up fresh (5 minutes per load chunks of time to cycle the loads through the laundry and 5 minutes per bed to remake them)
• I clear off the tables (kitchen, homeschool, and coffee) and the couch (5 minutes total)
• I vacuum the traffic areas of the carpeted floors (5 minutes for downstairs, 5 for upstairs.  This is traffic areas only, not a detailed vacuuming)
• I sweep and mop the traffic areas of the tile floors (5 minutes to sweep, 15 minutes total to mop in 3 sections of 5 minutes each -- sections done to not cut off access to all bathrooms and exits at once)

This hits all of the "shiny sinks" for my various rooms and for inside my house.  It by no means banishes all of the clutter or gets everywhere clean, but it's at least acceptable for company, and livable for my family and me.  It also gives me impetus for continuing, something to maintain while I slowly add in the rest again a bit at a time.  And it provides me with something to show the kids, both as an example of just picking somewhere to start, and as spaces for them to help maintain (so they help and build the habit, too).

 

I know from long experience that the habits I build and rebuild will get dropped again in the future.  That is a reality of me (probably just as strongly ADD as my DD, though I was never tested and diagnosed), and of my life (massively blessed, with all of the involvement all of those blessings require).  When I have a routine to follow I'm good and can maintain organization.  But building organization (or rebuilding it when it gets torn asunder) is not my forte, I need help, and it takes great effort on my part.

 

But I know now that all I have to do is decide to restart again, and return to a plan that gives me enough structure to do this.  It doesn't have to be perfectly aligned to my life, it just has to help me give myself a kick in the pants so I get started.  As I go I'll figure out how to tweak the plan to fit whatever shape and direction my life has moved onto.  It's never the same as it was before whatever occurred to derail me.

 

To quote Galaxy Quest:  "Never give up!  Never Surrender!"

 

This is, in effect, what Flylady and her crew have each learned and are trying to help others learn.  Be kind to yourself, take it all in baby steps, find what works for you, and just get started.

[AMJ]

I found the FL book at a used bookstore for $1.25. It's really helpful! The lists are all printed out and I don't have to deal with "purple puddle" stories--gag.

 

I do know the stories get rather maudlin.  Most of the time I just ignore them now instead of resenting them, because when my Mom died that kind of maudlin turned out to be exactly what I needed.  So I go past them, leaving them for others, who might be in a stage or state in which they need just that for a time.

[coffeegal]

I'm transitioning into the card system using what I like from Flylady and Motivated Moms.

 

Flylady: I love the swish 'n swipe, zone system, and weekly bless the house. I'm at the point where the kids can do most of the weekly cleaning as part of their normal evening chores on Friday or Saturday.

 

Motivated Moms: She has a beautiful breakdown of really annoying chores and includes tasks I tend to forget.

 

Card system: Being able to personalize my cleaning system to my likes, dislikes, and household. :001_smile:

[AMJ]

So I signed back up for the emails.  And the one I got this morning was just about a lady writing her dissertation and having a close call with melanoma. Nothing about routines or habits or zones. I just want little reminders throughout the day. I don't need the rah rah mumbo jumbo. 

 

ETA: I take that back. There are links to the "flight plan" and such. But I would rather just have that in the body of the email. 

 

Try sending the Flycrew your feedback.  Periodically the format of the emails changes, to better meet the needs of the subscribers.  They only know what you are looking for if you tell them.

[AMJ]

I'm transitioning into the card system using what I like from Flylady and Motivated Moms.

 

Flylady: I love the swish 'n swipe, zone system, and weekly bless the house. I'm at the point where the kids can do most of the weekly cleaning as part of their normal evening chores on Friday or Saturday.

 

Motivated Moms: She has a beautiful breakdown of really annoying chores and includes tasks I tend to forget.

 

Card system: Being able to personalize my cleaning system to my likes, dislikes, and household. :001_smile:

 

Beautiful!  Would you be willing to share your cards with others here, in case they are helpful to someone else?

[AMJ]

The Flylady (Marla Cilley)'s book, Sink Reflections, is also often available through the library or inter-library loan.  If you want to read all of the basics of Flylady without navigating the website try checking the book out.