So how does one meet a nice Christian man when your 41?

[Michelle My Bell]

As some of you may remember I have had quite a rough last few years with my marriage. Last Feb. our divorce was finalized. Now my ex found some woman on Christian mingle and is engaged (after only 2 months of knowing her). Up until this point, I haven't even thought about meeting anyone. I am a full time college student, homeschooling 4 kids still, and working a part-time job.

 

As it is, I haven't seen anyone that I could even consider getting to know. I wouldn't date just anyone and I am not even sure that anyone I would want to date exists that would want to date someone with 5 kids.

 

I don't drink, so the bar scene is out. I go to a large church but I haven't met anyone that was single. Our church doesn't have any sort of singles ministry for my age group. If you or someone you know, (Christians) have successfully found someone, how did it happen? I haven't been single in 20 years so I have no idea what to do. I am in no way rushed, and unless someone really amazing came along, I will continue to live single. I am not interested in dating around at all. I have responsibilities here, but I'd like to at least expose myself to meeting some people to see what could happen.

[kiana]

Man, let me know if you find out, everyone I have found who is single and even mildly interesting is either a militant atheist or Christian of the "women don't speak in church" variety, neither of which I find compatible.

[craftyerin]

My dad met my step mom at ~55 at church. Not in a singles' class, but just a regular adult class.  They are SO well suited for one another.  Far more so than my dad and my mom ever were. 

[G5052]

A friend of mine met her husband through Christiancafe.com.  She has six kids, some of them grown and some at home.  Homeschool mom.

[Flowing Brook]

If you find the answer to this question let me know. I'm thirty and still waiting for the first go around. Some days it seems hopeless. Thankfully I am happy the way I am. Though I would not mind being married and having a couple kiddo's

[NicAnn]

I have several friends who had success with ChristianMingle. I don't know much about it. But since you are a busy woman, maybe a internet relationship is the way to start. Far less pressure too, in my opinion.

[marbel]

:grouphug:  Most people I know met their spouse while doing ordinary things that they enjoyed and not while looking for someone.   I was 37 when I met my husband at a weekly social group get-together I came across online. I had been married before, a long time before, and had given up on finding someone.  I was actually pretty happy as a single person and had no expectation that I would actually meet anyone and was quite surprised that I did.  

 

:grouphug:
 

[kroe1]

Ugh, with your schedule, the last thing you need is a man. Just my opinion, but men are a lot of work.

 

Having said that, my next door neighbors met on match.com.

[almondbutterandjelly]

plentyoffish.com and chemistry.com.  (I think they met through one and ran into each other, internet-wise, at the other.  Then they started dating in real life.  Got married about a year later.  Perfect for each other.

 

I know of another couple who met through match.com last fall and just recently got married.  Nice Christian folks.

 

So I'm thinking the internet is your answer.

[AlmiraGulch]

I know a lot of married or long-term-committed people who have met online.  It really is a good option these days.  When I was single I was out there, too.

 

I might stay away from plentyoffish, though.  It has more than it's share of people who just want to meet to hook up.  It's kind of known for that.  Not that you can't meet good people there, too, but there's a lot to weed through.  

 

I'd say Match.com and ChristianMingle.com would be good places to start.  Oh, and eHarmony.com.  That one seems to draw a lot of people of faith.  

 

Good luck!  It's fun.  And you never know who you might meet.

 

[Heatherwith4]

I'm thinking the Internet, too. Match.com?

 

Church is another place, but I wouldn't think it would have to happen in a singles group.

[duckens]

 

Michelle My Bell says:

and is engaged (after only 2 months of knowing her).

 

:confused1:   Do you really think this is a recipe for happiness for him?  Or anyone?  Sure, it's been known to happen....but not often. 

 

Just an observation:

Whenever I've seen someone divorce, it takes five years before they are ready for "the" serious relationship (which is either marriage or a LTR).  Sure, they may date.  Sure, they may THINK they are serious.  But before 5 years, I've rarely seen and "in-between" relationship work.  I'd look around at the divorced friends you have and see what the lag time is between divorce and their current LTR.

 

Disclaimer: This doesn't mean that you shouldn't date.  This doesn't mean that it couldn't happen.  Dating will help you to re-learn who you are and re-learn the rules of healthy boundaries.

 

And, as nice as it is to have someone special in your life, and as hard as it is to be alone, "I'd rather BE alone than WISH I was alone."  You just got divorced.  If the divorce was mutual, this should be your mantra.

 

Take this time to find out who you are.  Not the "you" who was 21 when she was last single.  Not the "you" who was married for 20 years.  Who are you now?  Fill your life with joy.  Finish your college degree.  Get a job that makes you happy.  Go hiking or quilt or take ballroom dance lessons. 

 

Duckens rules for dating:

1) Be safe.  When you go out with someone, have a "safety call."  This means that you check in with a trusted friend that has all of your date's info.    For example, if you are going to the movies, have a pre-agreement that you will call your friend as soon as you get out of the movies AND again when the date is over and you are safe at home with the door locked.  If you don't check in, your friend will call the police.  Most people are kind and good and helpful, but Ted Bundy was handsome and charming and SCARY! 

 

A better definition of Safety Call.

 

2) Be too busy to date (which it sounds like you are already).  This makes an attractive mate.  It shows that you are independent and have your own interests.  You have many things to know and share; you know many people.  Take adult ed classes.  Have weekly scheduled social events.  Do volunteer work.  This, of course, would be once you finish college.

 

You won't be sitting by the phone.  You won't be whiny if he leaves for the weekend to see his parents without calling to say he loves you.  (I've seen this happen).  He is one aspect of your very full life.   

 

3) Don't let him into your life unless he contributes to it.  You already have 4 children.  You don't really need an extra one for whom to cook and clean and drain your finances.

 

4) Have good boundaries.  Be unafraid to say, "It''s okay to date you; it's fun to spend time with you, but I could never be serious about you unless  _________."

 

For me, with two guys, this was smoking.  When each quit smoking, I knew how serious he was about me.  For a third, it was telling his family about me.  (After a year, they didn't even know I existed.)  His mother met me once, then got rid of me by the time I got off the airplane at home, so I dodged a bullet there.  Heartbreaking at the time, but, in retrospect, I am soooooo better off not living in that family dynamic.

 

5) Be unafraid of online dating.  It's a good way to meet a lot of people in a short period of time.  Maybe you don't know if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, but you know if you want to spend another 10 minutes getting to know that person. Dating is a numbers game.  If you meet 100 people, you are much more likely to find "the love of your life" that if you only meet 5 people.

 

With any sort of dating, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.

 

With online dating, remember rule #1!

 

6) Women can do the asking.  I can't believe how many women in 2014 still sit back and wait for the men.  Why can't women ask men out?  If I waited for the men to ask, I'd never get asked out anywhere!

 

7) An emotionally safe way to ask someone out is to make your own plans beforehand.  Then say, "I'm planning to go to the Science Center this weekend to watch the Volcano movie they have.  Would you like to go, too?"

 

You're not specifically asking about a date.  You're not specifically inviting romance.  You're just asking for company or giving him the opportunity to see the volcano movie, too, which is something you were going to do anyway.

 

And this is the important part:  You go whether he goes or not.  And you have a good time.

[Scarlett]

I met my dh through mutual friends.  We were married 11 weeks later.  

 

I think often that relationships that progress quickly can be disastrous.  But I can think of several in my immediate life that turned out to be very long term and very happy.  The trick is to know EXACTLY what you want and not waste your time on men who do not meet that criteria.  Knowing what you want at age 41 is easier than when you were 21.  At least it was for me.  

 

The other side of that  coin is discernment....being cautious that men you meet are who and what they claim and aren't just putting on a show to be who they think you want.  That is why I think meeting through mutual friends is such a good idea.  I was able to ask a lot of questions of my friends and gauge if he was the type of man I wanted.  And he did the same.

[Scarlett]

:confused1:   Do you really think this is a recipe for happiness for him?  Or anyone?  Sure, it's been known to happen....but not often. 

 

Just an observation:

Whenever I've seen someone divorce, it takes five years before they are ready for "the" serious relationship (which is either marriage or a LTR).  Sure, they may date.  Sure, they may THINK they are serious.  But before 5 years, I've rarely seen and "in-between" relationship work.  I'd look around at the divorced friends you have and see what the lag time is between divorce and their current LTR.

 

I am not picking on you but I have never understood this type of thinking.  I think a person could be so scarred from a previous relationship/divorce that a new relationship would be a mistake until some issues are addressed. I have seen some of those.  In those cases why date?  Why open your mind and heart and someone else to a possibility when you are basically saying 'you are just practice for me.'

 

Most people though don't fall to that extreme.  Divorces happen for all kinds of reasons and it takes a long time to be totally 'finished' with a relationship/marriage gone bad.  I don't think you have to be alone to process most of that.  My dh and I both came from very long term first marriages and we just work through things together.  

 

I do agree that dating within a month of a separation is a bad idea because your picker is likely to be way off.  Not sure about Michelle...how long she was separated and if she meant her divorce was final Feb 2014 or 2013.  

 

Michelle, I agree with the advice to put the word out to trusted friends that you would be open to meeting the right kind of man.  You just never know who is out there that you don't even know existed.  The friends who introduced dh and me....they had known dh for over 10 years and I had never heard his name even though I did know his younger brother.  And these are friends that I was very close to.  These friends also knew another man who was single and they like him a lot but they discussed between themselves that he would not be a good match for me so they didn't even mention him to me.  

[Michelle My Bell]

No, not at all! I think he is insane for getting married this fast. I guess it came across wrong the way I typed it. He and I talk a lot and I have tried to tell him he needs to slow down and get to know her first but he has never listened to me before, and he isn't starting now.

 

What you and others have said is actually where I'm at right now. I'm not really interested in dating anyone because not only am I busy with college and homeschooling, I really am just wanting to continue to heal. Even though I just got divorced in February I have been living on my own now for three years so I'm feeling pretty good.

 

I actually really like being single. There are just some times when I wish that I had someone but it's rare. My only concern is about not having someone in the future as my kids get older and financially is really hard to get by. My goal of college however is not only to have a career of some sort but also to financially completely support myself independently for the first time. It's just I have three years left of school. My real goal is to finish college and have my kids feel little bit older so I really won't be looking to really date until then in about three years. It's just something that I wonder about. How is it done at my age? It would seem that I don't get asked out right now so it must be something specific you have to do. I'm starting to think everyone is right that I'll need to go onto the Internet to find someone.

Michelle

 

:confused1: Do you really think this is a recipe for happiness for him? Or anyone? Sure, it's been known to happen....but not often.

 

Just an observation:

Whenever I've seen someone divorce, it takes five years before they are ready for "the" serious relationship (which is either marriage or a LTR). Sure, they may date. Sure, they may THINK they are serious. But before 5 years, I've rarely seen and "in-between" relationship work. I'd look around at the divorced friends you have and see what the lag time is between divorce and their current LTR.

 

Disclaimer: This doesn't mean that you shouldn't date. This doesn't mean that it couldn't happen. Dating will help you to re-learn who you are and re-learn the rules of healthy boundaries.

 

And, as nice as it is to have someone special in your life, and as hard as it is to be alone, "I'd rather BE alone than WISH I was alone." You just got divorced. If the divorce was mutual, this should be your mantra.

 

Take this time to find out who you are. Not the "you" who was 21 when she was last single. Not the "you" who was married for 20 years. Who are you now? Fill your life with joy. Finish your college degree. Get a job that makes you happy. Go hiking or quilt or take ballroom dance lessons.

 

Duckens rules for dating:

1) Be safe. When you go out with someone, have a "safety call." This means that you check in with a trusted friend that has all of your date's info. For example, if you are going to the movies, have a pre-agreement that you will call your friend as soon as you get out of the movies AND again when the date is over and you are safe at home with the door locked. If you don't check in, your friend will call the police. Most people are kind and good and helpful, but Ted Bundy was handsome and charming and SCARY!

 

A better definition of Safety Call.

 

2) Be too busy to date (which it sounds like you are already). This makes an attractive mate. It shows that you are independent and have your own interests. You have many things to know and share; you know many people. Take adult ed classes. Have weekly scheduled social events. Do volunteer work. This, of course, would be once you finish college.

 

You won't be sitting by the phone. You won't be whiny if he leaves for the weekend to see his parents without calling to say he loves you. (I've seen this happen). He is one aspect of your very full life.

 

3) Don't let him into your life unless he contributes to it. You already have 4 children. You don't really need an extra one for whom to cook and clean and drain your finances.

 

4) Have good boundaries. Be unafraid to say, "It''s okay to date you; it's fun to spend time with you, but I could never be serious about you unless _________."

 

For me, with two guys, this was smoking. When each quit smoking, I knew how serious he was about me. For a third, it was telling his family about me. (After a year, they didn't even know I existed.) His mother met me once, then got rid of me by the time I got off the airplane at home, so I dodged a bullet there. Heartbreaking at the time, but, in retrospect, I am soooooo better off not living in that family dynamic.

 

5) Be unafraid of online dating. It's a good way to meet a lot of people in a short period of time. Maybe you don't know if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, but you know if you want to spend another 10 minutes getting to know that person. Dating is a numbers game. If you meet 100 people, you are much more likely to find "the love of your life" that if you only meet 5 people.

 

With any sort of dating, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.

 

With online dating, remember rule #1!

 

6) Women can do the asking. I can't believe how many women in 2014 still sit back and wait for the men. Why can't women ask men out? If I waited for the men to ask, I'd never get asked out anywhere!

 

7) An emotionally safe way to ask someone out is to make your own plans beforehand. Then say, "I'm planning to go to the Science Center this weekend to watch the Volcano movie they have. Would you like to go, too?"

 

You're not specifically asking about a date. You're not specifically inviting romance. You're just asking for company or giving him the opportunity to see the volcano movie, too, which is something you were going to do anyway.

 

And this is the important part: You go whether he goes or not. And you have a good time.

[Michelle My Bell]

I think everyone advice has been very helpful and when the time comes for me to get serious about this I might just come here and ask if any of you know someone you could set me up with! lol I've been here for a long time and I trust all of you more than I do a lot of people in real life! ;)

That said thank you for the wonderful advice, I feel really encouraged. I will probably go to the Internet route, get involved in community organizations, and ask my friends if they know of anybody when the time is right.

[applethyme]

My husband and I met on eharmony.  It worked well for us :)

[KrissiK]

I agree with what Duckens said above. Here's two quick scenarios....

Friend #1 - divorced after 15 year marriage, 3 teenage kids, jumped into a relationship (she's one who can't be without a man), married quickly, divorced in a year, now in another relationship.....isn't pretty. She lost the respect of a lot of people, too, with the way she's handled her life.

 

Friend #2 - divorced after 5 years of marriage, no kids. She spent time healing. She got involved in volunteer work, does triathalons, bought a different house, changed her name back, spent time with friends. She recently got married again after being single for 6 years. She seems much more stable. Seems like this one is going to work. I have tremendous respect for her and the way she handled herself through this divorce.

 

It seems like the women I've known who have gone through a divorce and are able to create a life for themselves without a man for a while are better able to make a marriage work when they find someone again.

[JonesinIndiana]

I don't have a lot of advice but I would suggest reading some new dating safety rules and suggestions. It's a different world out there in more ways than one.

[J-rap]

My sister was divorced when her three kids were very young.  Her ex-husband was out of the picture completely.  She was very overwhelmed with raising her kids and going to college to get a degree and working during those years, though she had a lot of support from extended family.  She made a conscientious decision to not marry again until her last child graduated from high school.  She was afraid of how a new man in the house might affect her kids and also that time in another relationship would take away her time with her kids.

 

I'm not saying that was the right or wrong decision -- it's what worked out best for her. 

 

Eventually, she became involved with a Christian Bible Study/Social Group called "Single Again" at a big church in the same city.  She met a lovely Christian man who had also been single for many years.  They are celebrating their 10th anniversary now and are very happy together.

 

One of my best friend's brothers is married to a woman with five children from another marriage.  He was a little older and didn't think he would ever get married, but the two of them met in church and hit it off.  They've been married for about twelve years now.

 

Another good friend married a man with four children whose wife had died.  Friends set them up.  She raised the kids as her own and they have been happily married for twenty years.

 

Sorry about what you've been through.  I'm sure it hasn't been easy.  My sister never thought she'd be happily married again and so happy about life in general, but she is!   :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Acadie]

You do seem very busy, but if meeting new people just for friendship and outings appeals to you, there are ways to find that on the internet too.  My sister is in the process of a very long divorce (emotionally, they were divorced years ago) and she's met a guy online who is a great tennis partner and one who shares her interest in speaking French.  Neither is a dating prospect and that's clear to everyone involved, but she likes expanding her social circle and having new male friends in her life again.  And these relationships do not take up a lot of time--just an occasional get together.  

 

I know she's on match.com (not sure if they have a platonic category) but I think she met one of the guys on craigslist.  All safety/listen to your gut rules apply, of course, but I think it's possible to get a sense of a person through email and phone communication for a little while before you meet in a public place.  I'm her safety call :)  

 

She's also going to some social events solo because it can be easier to meet people when you didn't arrive with a friend.  She volunteered at a Bastille Day celebration, met some people to go out with after, and had a blast.  You don't have to do a ton of things like this--just something, every once in a while, to mix it up and invite new energy into your life.

 

Amy

[Liz CA]

Your xdh may fall into the category "rebound syndrome." But, of course, sometimes you meet someone and things move fast. I take my time because I'd rather minimize avoidable difficulties later. Life throws enough at us as we all know.

 

I have two friends who were divorced in the last 5 years. One friend met someone on either eharmony or Christian Mingle (forget which) and has married last summer. It seems to be working out well. She knew what she was looking for and what not...

 

Other friend projects a little "desperation" and has not found someone yet but recently signed on again with Christian Mingle.

I begged both friends not to go to private residences or get in the car with someone on the first date. Both did it...so there is that for security. In one case, it was okay (but she could not have known at the time), in the other case, she eventually invited the man to her house and then wanted to break things off. It was fine in the end but could have gone any which way.

 

Neither women have children living at home anymore

They both are closer to fifty than forty.

 

I don't think there is a certain pattern but duckens offered some very good advice IMHO.

There is also a book by Stephen Arterburn titled "How to meet Mr. Right - and how to avoid Mr. Wrong" or similar. You should be able to get it anywhere since it's been published for a while.

[flyingiguana]

My SIL lost her husband 5 years ago.  I don't know how long she's been looking for someone -- it may only be recently -- but she's discovered that finding singles in day to day life is nearly impossible.  It works in high school and college for those people who are the right age for it.  Those are just crawling with possible dates.  But for those of us in a different age bracket, I think help in just meeting people is nearly mandatory.

 

Mutual friends can help, but they aren't going to have access to the 100's or 1000's of potentials that an online dating service would provide.

 

So my SIL has gone with a dating service.  She's generally a very level headed woman, so it's not something I think she just did without thinking it through.  She always meets in public places, least for the first few meetings.

 

The only problem with dating services is that they tend to be more pressure than just meeting someone "naturally".  You both know you're on a date checking each other out.

 

Then there's the people who "meet" through such places but they never physically meet until they've already decided to get married.  My small sample size suggests these are people who are VERY interested in finding someone who subscribes to their somewhat obscure religious beliefs.  And that they would never ever consider marrying anyone who didn't.  I'm sure there are normal people who meet this way and have fine relationships -- it's just that *I* don't know them.

 

To be honest, I rarely meet singles who are my age who are interested in a relationship who I would even recommend to the one or 2 other singles I know.  Most of the good ones are already taken.  That's why you need to widen the field a bit.  (OK, I might know a few who would be worth looking at further....)

 

But, if you don't want a dating service -- I'd try a church that had a singles group, even if you were just going for an extended visit.  Or I'd suggest your church have a singles group (if there are enough people around for it).  I'd go to political type meetings -- like council meetings and school board meetings.  I'd volunteer at places that I felt were a worthy cause.  I'd do things that interested ME that involved being with a group of people.  Community choir?  Gardening club?  I'd look to see what sort of community ed programs there were and try a few that sounded interesting.  I'd get my kids involved in things and hope to meet other single parents.

 

For awhile, I was aware of a single parents play group type club.  I wonder if such a thing would exist in your area?  Maybe play group is a little too young for your kids, but there might be other things.

 

Even just getting some new male friends may open up some prospects.  They may know someone.

 

However, I think my SIL did a lot of these things -- and she's very outgoing --She still didn't meet many singles.  And the type of single men you'd be interested are probably the guys who don't have all the time in the world.  *They're* probably going with dating services just because they don't have time to meet gals the more traditional ways.

 

[vonfirmath]

:grouphug:  Most people I know met their spouse while doing ordinary things that they enjoyed and not while looking for someone.   I was 37 when I met my husband at a weekly social group get-together I came across online. I had been married before, a long time before, and had given up on finding someone.  I was actually pretty happy as a single person and had no expectation that I would actually meet anyone and was quite surprised that I did.  

 

:grouphug:

 

 

At 28 I met my husband in my gaming group.  (NOT a place I was expecting to find a life partenr, let me tell you) I asked him to see Jonah (as a friend. When everyone else rejected me. They either didn't want to see a kids movie or a Biblical movie. Not sure which) He said yes. And the rest is history.

 

I've got a good friend, single homeschooling mom of a middle schooler, in her 30s. She put herself out on some Internet dating sites and ended up finding a guy and they got married last year.

[Cricket]

I know four people who have found spouses on this site: http://www.sovereigngracesingles.com/

 

If you are of the Reformed variety, that is!

[ktgrok]

I met my husband online.

[chocolatechip]

If you find the answer to this question let me know. I'm thirty and still waiting for the first go around. Some days it seems hopeless. Thankfully I am happy the way I am. Though I would not mind being married and having a couple kiddo's

Don't lose hope! A nice young lady from our church just got married last year to a guy she met online. They are so perfect together. She's in her 30's.  :)

[AimeeM]

I met my husband online. A yahoo chat room to be exact :p

We met, dated/courted, and married almost exactly 2 months after meeting.

 

Mutual faith (catholic) was very important to both of us, but it was God's grace alone that we met - it was just a general chat room.

 

Oh, and his screen name turned me off. I almost refused to chat with him.

 

Glad I came around, lol.

[freesia]

I know four people who have found spouses on this site: http://www.sovereigngracesingles.com/

 

If you are of the Reformed variety, that is!

Okay, this made me laugh! I am thrilled that your friends found spouses, but it seems a bit un-reformed to go looking online!LOL

 

Just a joke, folks--I lean in the reformed direction myself.

[Angie in VA]

Ugh, with your schedule, the last thing you need is a man. Just my opinion, but men are a lot of work.

 

 

 

:rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

[Laurel-in-CA]

If you find the answer to this question let me know. I'm thirty and still waiting for the first go around. Some days it seems hopeless. Thankfully I am happy the way I am. Though I would not mind being married and having a couple kiddo's

 

I waited until I was 33 to marry - the first time. Met him @ church in older singles group. Just so you know it's not impossible!!

[Random]

I think everyone suffices been very helpful and when the time comes for me to get serious about this I might just come here and ask if any of you know someone you could set me up with! lol I've been here for a long time and I trust all of youmore than I do a lot of people in real life! ;)

 

That said thank you for the wonderful advice, I feel really encouraged. I will probably go to the Internet route, get involved in community organizations, and ask my friends if they know of anybody when the time is right.

 

This made me laugh!  When I saw your thread, I thought, "I wish I knew some single men I could set Michelle up with."  ;)

 

I hope Mr. Right comes at the right time.  You sound like a wonderful, strong, caring, thoughtful, intelligent woman.  Any guy who catches your eye will be fortunate.

 

As a side note, my husband and I met and married a bit late in life, through a mutual friend.

[Wheres Toto]

I met my husband through our work bowling league.  :laugh:   And the guys I dated before him - one was through work, one was a neighbor.

 

I agree with a lot of what duckens said, especially the safety suggestions. It's VERY important to be very aware of safety when meeting with strangers.

 

I did marry my husband two years after my divorce.  I had NO desire to get remarried or even get serious, so he had to work at it.  We were friends/acquaintances (at bowling weekly) for a year before we started dating, then first date was June, engaged September, married October (pregnant by November).  We've been married 10 years this October. 

[kiana]

Don't lose hope! A nice young lady from our church just got married last year to a guy she met online. They are so perfect together. She's in her 30's.  :)

 

There's hope for me yet!

 

[Michelle My Bell]

I love everyones thoughts! It does give me hope. Thanks for that site also as I am reformed. :)

[redsquirrel]

I seem to have lots of friends who are now single and in their late 30s and beyond. Some are in their 60s and are wanting to date.

 

They ALL dated someone they have meet online. It could be OK cupid or match . com or whatever. They all seem to be used to traveling to date. They think nothing of of seeing someone who lives in a city 90 mins away.

[Desert Rat]

My dad's church has always had a large singles group. If you go to a large church, maybe you could suggest it? I know you're too busy to start your own group. They used to do Bible studies, but mostly it was for fun, so they went bowling and planned picnics, etc.

FWIW, my best friend's mom and stepdad met in this group and were married 25 years when she passed away recently. There were many stories like that. 

I wish happiness for you! 

[happyWImom]

I have a friend who just got divorced, has one dd & is in her mid-40's.  She's not ready yet, but has been thinking about it.  Her issue is that she lives out in the country and the nearest fairly large city is 40 minute away.  Otherwise, she's right next to a small town where everyone knows everyone, and it is slim pickings.  She's not comfortable with on-line dating, so I'm not sure what advice to give her, either.  And she doesn't deserve another man like the one she had!  I don't want her to latch on to the first guy that comes along just because he's all there is.

[Cricket]

Okay, this made me laugh! I am thrilled that your friends found spouses, but it seems a bit un-reformed to go looking online!LOL

 

Just a joke, folks--I lean in the reformed direction myself.

 

My DH feels the same way. :001_smile:

[Susan in TN]

You get connected through the Hive, obviously! Dh's best friend from childhood is 45 and single, never married. Quirky. Short but with a good head of dark hair (Italian and Irish?). Loves Seinfeld.

 

Isn't there a board for this? :D

[Audrey]

If I knew you IRL and we were friends, I think I would ask you why you're interested in meeting someone now?  Is it because your ex is engaged now?  Were you even thinking of it before you found out he was getting hitched again?  If you weren't in the market for a relationship before, that isn't a good reason to go looking for it now.  If you are enjoying single-hood, why not continue doing that? 

 

 

[Michelle My Bell]

I am not actually interested in meeting someone now. I am just thinking ahead. :) I am a planner. I really like being single right now and would like to stay this way until I finish college in 3 years. I just didn't know how it was done these days. 

[kiwik]

My mother claims catching a man is like catching a goat. If you chase them you will get tired and they will think it is a great game. If you go into the corner of the paddock, turn your back and look busy they will come and see what you are doing.

[OnTheBrink]

I met my EX online. I have NO interest in finding another man that way. People aren't always what they make themselves out to me. Sorry, I can't be of any help at all!

[Anne in CA]

I have one more suggestion. Take up fishing! Lots of single men go fishing all the time. Or any other predominantly male sport might be good too.