NO I don't want your Ava Anderson junk, "friend"- a rant

[Seasider]

One thing I have to say about the sahm mlm-ers... I find it much easier to say no to them than to the wide-eyed neighbor girl hawking cookies.

[poppy]

I rarely see any of these things, so I guess I'm just lucky and don't have a bunch of friends selling things!  I did have one friend selling something that I had interest in, so I approached him.  I tried it, I didn't care for it, and that was it.  

 

I don't mind going to the home party things on occasion.  Sometimes I buy things and sometimes I don't, but I never get offended by the posts or the invitations like some seem to be reporting.  I suppose maybe I would if that was the only thing these "friends" ever wanted to talk to me about.  That would not sit well with me.

 

I also have no problem not buying my friends' kids' school fundraiser items, either, so maybe it's just a difference in personality.  I just never feel pressured by this sort of thing.  (For the record, I stopped allowing my own kids to participate in school fundraisers a few years ago, but that's another story).

 

I don't have a problem supporting school fundraisers because they support .... a school.

Buying from MLM sellers just supports the seller. And  encourages her to keep going with it. 

[AlmiraGulch]

I don't have a problem supporting school fundraisers because they support .... a school.

Buying from MLM sellers just supports the seller. And  encourages her to keep going with it. 

 

The issue is that people seem to feel pressured.  I was just saying that I don't.

 

I have no issue at all supporting the seller of an MLM product if it's one that I want to use.  Particularly if it's being sold by a friend who is trying to make a living.  I can't imagine why that's such an awful thing (assuming it really is someone I know).

 

Also, for the record, I don't believe in supporting schools through fund raisers.  It pits kids against each other as they try to get the coveted crappy prize for selling X number of candles or rolls of wrapping paper.  If I want to support my kid's PTSA, I just write a check.  It's easier, costs me less money, and I don't end up with a bunch of junk I don't want.

 

 

[GailV]

Hah, I forgot I had facebook friends who sell wraps because they're on "important updates only" status and apparently never post anything important since I never see anything from them.  

 

On the other hand, I'm shocked that none of you have mentioned that Juice Plus can change your life.  I have several friends who can tell you about it if you like.

[poppy]

I don't get to many of these, but 100% of the ones I do get are either stay-at-home moms or have a very part-time job.  I'm assuming this is so due to those groups looking to supplement income.

 

Yes, obviously.  Every business is looking to supplement income......... it's just, this is one that depends on leveraging friendships for profit. 

 

I grew up with my mom buying 1-2 Avon products from relatives every month, always SAHMs looking to supplement income. She was  a WAHM who thought the stuff was mostly junk and it was a 'pity' purchase. Or, she would say "a gesture of friendship."  She didn't like the products much and would donate most.   And then every Chrsitmas all those friends gave her........ Avon Products!  Why my mom didn't just write every one of those ladies a $50 check and tell them to stop bugging her? She's too gracious.  That's how successful MLM marketing works.

[Butter]

I have a couple friends who drive me crazy because 99% of their FB posts are about the stuff they sell.  One of them sells Damsel in Defense and the other sells Tastefully Simple.  Now, the Damsel in Defense stuff is cute and all, but why exactly do I need pepper spray in a pink bottle?  I like some of the Tastefully Simple seasonings (really, pretty much just one actually - it makes super easy and delicious salsa when you don't have time to make it fresh), but most of it is just overpriced.  I've got other friends who sell 31 bags (nice, but seriously overpriced), Jamberry (cute I suppose), some sort of teas (expensive, plus most have caffeine and so are against my religion), and DoTerra oils (I have nothing against them, just not interested).  The difference is my friends who sell these things mostly post other stuff and only occasionally post about what they sell.  The DoTerra sellers (I think I have 3 or 4 friends now who sell them) only post when they are having "classes" at their house or about some combination of EOs that does whatever (and has been useful on occasion because while I don't use DoTerra, I do use EOs sometimes) so even with all the sellers combined there's only maybe one post a week about them.

[AlmiraGulch]

I readily admit that I probably don't get the....I don't know...anger?  disdain?...  because I don't see much of it.  I can see how it would be aggravating if it was in my face all the time, regardless of what "it" is. 

 

 

 

[poppy]

I readily admit that I probably don't get the....I don't know...anger?  disdain?...  because I don't see much of it.  I can see how it would be aggravating if it was in my face all the time, regardless of what "it" is. 

 

Well, it's a vent thread.  I'm venting.

[ErinE]

For my friends, it's wraps! I hate it. I want to stay in touch with these people but the constant promotion drives me crazy.

[Alicia64]

I readily admit that I probably don't get the....I don't know...anger?  disdain?...  because I don't see much of it.  I can see how it would be aggravating if it was in my face all the time, regardless of what "it" is. 

 

It's easy to get angry because the pusher is PUSHING. They don't let up. The multi-level folks teach them techniques "to not take 'no' for answer." So, they have a thousand little ways to ignore your "no" and continue pushing.

 

Quick funny: one time we were in a beach community where people on the street were PUSHING time share condos. One guy literally stepped in front of dh and wouldn't move.

 

Dh finally said, "If you don't move: I'm going to pepper spray you." And that was the end of that conversation.

 

But, you know, you just can't say that to a fellow mom. Word would get around.

 

Alley

[AlmiraGulch]

Well, it's a vent thread.  I'm venting.

 

Oh.  Ha!   :D 

[ErinE]

It Works wraps -- I thought they were a girdle? That's not what it is?

 

I totally thought that people were selling a MLM Spanx.

When I was heavy into fitness events, reusable belly bands were everywhere. For women who'd had pregnancies (even those with low body fat), the wraps helped define the stomach muscles and get rid of the lower belly pooch. But the effect was temporary; drink water and the muscle definition disappears. I only used them for appearances, photos, and competitions.

 

I think my washable band was $10 or $12. So paying for disposable wraps for the very limited benefits seems silly.

[ocelotmom]

I have a friend who posts about 50% (with multiple posts a day) Beachbody/Shakeology, 25% non-specific inspirational messages, 10% "thinspo", and the rest actual personal stuff. 

 

I wish she'd stop. I really like her, and it's like she's become a pod person or something. The constant "exercise, exercise, exercise, Shakeology is delicious!" does NOT sound like the person I knew. When she started, I wrote it off as the honeymoon phase, but it's been a few years now.

[poppy]

Yeah, three parties in as many years from women with whom I am good friends just doesn't get up and in my craw. Must be an exposure thing. It makes me glad I'm apparently highly sheltered and have a small group of friends ;)

 

And you know, I can totally see how Facebook would exacerbate this if I was on there. Facebook traffics in people as product, why expect the users to not do so as well? It's a very lucrative fish in a barrel scenario for marketing and I've heard it has gotten worse in recent years on this. So people 'spamming' with their businesses makes sense, that's practically the purpose of Facebook aside from ruining all future political careers forever.

Facebook is awesome. I know you said you don't use it but believe me.... I keep up with grandma, DH's nun aunt who I adore, my snarky & hilarious college roommate who I haven't seen in 15+ years, some former neighbors, lots of current neighbors, I run 3 nonprofit Facebook pages (no fundraising just event planning), I get great ideas for my scouts from a group there, I am part of a forum spinoff group that is women from all over the country I've come to adore, and there's probably more I can't think of at the moment.

 

Then there are the 3-4 annoying MLMers spamming me, flies in the ointment. I wouldn't care if I didn't like the ointment in the first place !

[Lady Marmalade]

I have a friend who posts about 50% (with multiple posts a day) Beachbody/Shakeology, 25% non-specific inspirational messages, 10% "thinspo", and the rest actual personal stuff. 

 

I wish she'd stop. I really like her, and it's like she's become a pod person or something. The constant "exercise, exercise, exercise, Shakeology is delicious!" does NOT sound like the person I knew. When she started, I wrote it off as the honeymoon phase, but it's been a few years now.

 

THAT'S the third shake/nutritional product.  The person who I know is a consultant doesn't specifically come out and say what product she's a consultant for.  But 3-4  times a day she's posting things about results and a little "message me if you want to learn more" or "message me to join in the next series of challenges".  

 

It is easy to ignore people on FB, and I appreciate that, but I wish it wasn't so constant right now.

 

The wrap thing hasn't made it to my neck of the woods yet...

[Catwoman]

I don't ever see anything in my feed like what's described here.  I'm really glad about that, but you all are almost making me feel left out.

 

Do I have boring friends?  Unmotivated friends? What's wrong with these people that they aren't trying to sell something??!!!!  :willy_nilly: :willy_nilly: :willy_nilly:

None of my friends sells anything, either. THANK GOODNESS.

[VeganCupcake]

I felt really duped by a FB friend who said she was a "certified health coach" when really she just sells MLM weight loss stuff. Yes, the company does offer certification, but it's not like she's a personal trainer. Then she posted before and after pictures of herself that were classic bad lighting, poor posture, bad hair before pic and good lighting, good posture, hair and makeup done after pic. 

[Guest]

But they're friends? If it was a stranger that would be a little more odd. I just don't find conversations with friends awkward. And if I can't or don't want to go I'll just decline and we'll be on our merry way, no hard feelings. But it's rare I do that, because what's not to like about an evening over at someone's home with chatting, food, and a few catalogs?

 

I've been pleasantly surprised, actually. I used to decline more and now I just show up and have a good time, with no pressure to purchase. But I'm stubborn like that :)

It's not an evening over a friend's house chatting and eating, though. Even if they pitch it this way, even if the *demonstrator* pitched it this way when your friend agreed to host a party. The demonstrator is AT WORK, they are trying to put bread on the table, or at least pay for a kid's braces. If everyone just comes for the Frito-Lay and cheap boxed wine, it is a colossal waste of the demonstrator's time and your friend won't get much free product besides.

 

I love an evening chatting and eating with friends! Why have a person trying to earn a wage turning it into an infomercial? Home parties are a marketing angle, plain and simple. They operate off the fact that you are more likely to spend money on certain products when you a) face peer pressure and the desire to be liked; b.) are in a comfortable environment, with needs already met; and c) have a friendly person assisting you in imagining the usefulness and/or desirability of the product.

[NASDAQ]

My time is pretty dear to me, and so when someone really had to come over and it turned out they just wanted to pitch me something, I did feel pretty put out.

 

Also, increasingly stuff being sold is wrapped in a little package of fear-mongering woo. No, I don't believe your product will cure cancer, or ADHD, or really anything else. I don't believe that continuing to clean with Pine Sol is poisoning my family and I don't think I need to eat your super food or that eating it will make me live to 112. It's like a host of weird pseudo-science Amways popped up. And I feel a bit bad for these people because they're putting in so many hours and so much money and almost never do they make the same amount of money that they would have using that time to stock shelves at minimum wage.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

 

 

Also, increasingly stuff being sold is wrapped in a little package of fear-mongering woo. No, I don't believe your product will cure cancer, or ADHD, or really anything else. I don't believe that continuing to clean with Pine Sol is poisoning my family and I don't think I need to eat your super food or that eating it will make me live to 112. It's like a host of weird pseudo-science Amways popped up. And I feel a bit bad for these people because they're putting in so many hours and so much money and almost never do they make the same amount of money that they would have using that time to stock shelves at minimum wage.

 

ITA.

 

What's really insulting (and depressing) to me is when people who have never been ill a day in their lives start shoving Essential Oils at chronic sufferers of real diseases. "It does amazing things for my toddler's headaches and that occasional twinge I get in my knee on hikes, so it's probably a good option for your rheumatoid arthritis. Doctors today don't know anything about natural cures. Try it!"

 

Especially the companies that add spirituality to the mix -- think happy thoughts and take this snake oil and you, too, can be like the person in this photo (who has never been unwell). It's guilt-trippy, knowing they are "feeling sorry for" (in their words) all the people who suffer illness when ESSENTIAL OILS could be taken.

 

Blech!

 

[Word Nerd]

It's not an evening over a friend's house chatting and eating, though. Even if they pitch it this way, even if the *demonstrator* pitched it this way when your friend agreed to host a party. The demonstrator is AT WORK, they are trying to put bread on the table, or at least pay for a kid's braces. If everyone just comes for the Frito-Lay and cheap boxed wine, it is a colossal waste of the demonstrator's time and your friend won't get much free product besides.

 

I love an evening chatting and eating with friends! Why have a person trying to earn a wage turning it into an infomercial? Home parties are a marketing angle, plain and simple. They operate off the fact that you are more likely to spend money on certain products when you a) face peer pressure and the desire to be liked; b.) are in a comfortable environment, with needs already met; and c) have a friendly person assisting you in imagining the usefulness and/or desirability of the product.

 

I agree. If you want to host a party, then have a party! Don't insult my intelligence and pretend that a sales pitch is anything but what it actually is.

 

[Above The Rowan]

I'm a consultant for a couple of direct sales companies - but I don't do the home parties. I just can't, in good conscience, ply my wonderful friends into being hostesses.

 

I signed on to both these places mainly to feed my own addictions (Usborne and a Canadian loose leaf tea product) at a discount. I've done a few school fundraisers and made some cash (enough to cover all of xmas shopping and a hige chunk of homeschool supplies) I try to avoid doing in-home parties. I hate them. But around here? It's BIG - I have friends who have "consultants" for everything. Books, candles, Avon, shakes, beauty products, cosmetics. Seems like every person I know is super into these stinkin home parties.

 

I don't like being pressured and peddled - maybe because I do sell this kind of thing and know how it works, I dunno. I get at least 2 party invites per week. Super annoying.

 

I particularly hate the health ones - it's like preying on people's insecurities or something. I sell books and tea, neither of which make any outrageous promises lol.

[Catwoman]

Oh boy I just remembered the last time I went to a selling party. They were selling children's clothing. Let's compare me to the mom from The Middle. I thought these people had lost their flippin minds when I saw the price tags. And the worst part was I didn't find most of it attractive. I felt really awkward and agreed to buy a shirt for my son. The person that invited me worked with me. I was beyond perplexed why I had to pay a shipping fee. I thought it would go to the person hosting the party and she'd just hand it to me at work. Ugh!! I spent FIFTY dollars on a children's polo shirt. NEVER AGAIN. He only wore it a few times because we seldom dress up. I passed it down to my niece because I had his initial put on it and she had the same initial LOL I have no idea if it will get worn.

I have no problem spending 50 dollars on a kid's polo shirt, but I do have a problem with feeling obligated to buy something I don't want, just because I was too polite to turn down an invitation to a home party.

 

It's the feeling of obligation that I don't like.

[laundrycrisis]

I really dislike most MLMs, and I openly tell people so.  

 

31 bags are my exception.  I have five, all in heavy use, and they are perfect.  But most MLMs just annoy me.  

[ocelotmom]

I really dislike most MLMs, and I openly tell people so.  

 

31 bags are my exception.  I have five, all in heavy use, and they are perfect.  But most MLMs just annoy me.  

 

The one person I know who sells 31 bags seems to do pretty well just using the bag and mentioning she sells them when people ask about it. But I'm not friends with her on facebook, so perhaps she's obnoxious there :)

[Guest]

I particularly hate the health ones - it's like preying on people's insecurities or something. I sell books and tea, neither of which make any outrageous promises lol.

You sell BOOKS and TEA!? Holy smokes! The WTM Peddler! :D

[Catwoman]

You sell BOOKS and TEA!? Holy smokes! The WTM Peddler! :D

OK, so maybe I'd make an exception and go to one of her parties... :D

[Lady Marmalade]

Bwa-ha-ha!  Guess what showed up in my FB feed just now?  The first ever advertisement I've seen for body wraps. I It's not a friend, thank goodness, but a post on a group site I am on.    They just need a few people to try it out at a discount and share their feedback.  :p

[MeAndTheBoys]

I do like 31 bags, but I went to one party, have kept the representative's info--and only buy directly from her.  I can't stand being invited to a "party" where I am pressured to "buy now" so that my "friend" can get lots of free stuff.  I'll just buy it straight from the rep--let her higher ups get some kind of benefit, but it feels more like a business relationship than a creepy friendship.

 

Betsy

[Reefgazer]

I'm with you; I can't stand people pushing that crap.  Although I must admit that I bought housewares from one party once and they are incredibly durable and useful and I do wish someone would have another one of those parties, LOL!

I now have 4 friends shilling this health & beauty line.

I get Facebook posts about it. And I get 'stealth' Facebook posts about it: gosh did you know most other products can kill you? Here's a link! So glad I switched....

I get invited to online "parties"
I get invited to house parties.
I have been asked â€hey have you thought about hosting a party? "
No!! Why would I do that?

Why is it ok to prey on your friends for your income ? And to make it about how most health & beauty products people use are toxic just adds a whole new layer of shamelessness. Oh friend I need to save you by educating you about your deadly moisturizer. And by the way I am selling the way to save yourself !

And I can't even vent online at my usual haunts about how obnoxious I find it because *they are all there*!
Ugh.

 

[SproutMamaK]

You sell BOOKS and TEA!? Holy smokes! The WTM Peddler! :D

 

Waiit, just so we're clear, what kind of "Books" and what kind of "Tea"?

 

.... Either way I'd probably go to the party.

[LibraryLover]

I'm jealous. I don't have a single friend hosting a MLM party, and I could really use a PC butter knife. :(

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm jealous. I don't have a single friend hosting a MLM party, and I could really use a PC butter knife. :(

All you have to do is - ask if anyone here sells Pampered Chef (I presume that is what PC stands for) and order from them!  

[Lavandula]

I'm jealous. I don't have a single friend hosting a MLM party, and I could really use a PC butter knife. :(

I hate the PC parties but only because I spend sooooo much money at them. I don't even cook that much. Why do I buy so many cooking things? Why??

[Forget-Me-Not]

You can order direct from PC. No party required. I've done it more than once.

[Mnemosyne]

Let's just say, my friends know better than to ask me to join/buy things from their MLM. They know that if I'm interested, I'll contact them (haven't yet lol).

 

I'm afraid I'm not a fan of MLMs. I feel like they take advantage of people - the majority of MLM people I know are bleeding money left and right, and they're the type of people that don't have the money to bleed, KWIM?

 

From a business perspective, though, owning an MLM is sure smart. Actually owning it, that is. That's where the money is.

[FriedClams]

Motivated by The Hive, I recently (maybe a month ago) was clear with a friend who kept trying to see me oils. I can't remember the exact wording, but it was easentially "Thank you for thinking of me but I have no interest in your products at this time. If I change my mind and want to be contacted again about your line, I'll let you know. Thanks! Have a great party!" It was liberating!!!!! I highly recommend it!!

[Guest meganlynnlds]

I died laughing when I read this. I actually Googled "Ava Anderson sucks" and this thread popped up.  For the past month, I've been dealing with the same thing from a long time friend, who is pushing the limits of that term at this point.  She is constantly telling me about Ava Anderson crap and I'm sick of it.  I recently posted about a gentle sunscreen from a brand that I love and have never had problems with and this is what she replied: "I really think you need to try Ava Anderson products, especially if you are looking for safe, natural, and non-irritating products. I use the facial moisturizer with sunscreen and it's great on my sensitive face skin. It really tones down my redness. Plus, no toxic chemicals. This face shop natural sun product is mostly great, but it's ingredient list includes 3 toxic ingredients to avoid plus contains alcohol to dry out skin over time. I don't mean to be an annoying sales person  but I just want to inform the people I care about. I'm really learning a lot from joining Ava Anderson Non-Toxic. Megan, I think you would really like attending one of my parties, or even hosting your own." 

 

News flash friend, I do not want to come to your party and I don't want to try Ava Anderson crap.  It's very expensive and doesn't appeal to me.  Sorry that I'm going to die a slow, cancer-related death due to my "toxic" product use.  I know you're just looking out for me and not for your investment in this pyramid scheme.

[vonfirmath]

The issue is that people seem to feel pressured.  I was just saying that I don't.

 

I have no issue at all supporting the seller of an MLM product if it's one that I want to use.  Particularly if it's being sold by a friend who is trying to make a living.  I can't imagine why that's such an awful thing (assuming it really is someone I know).

 

Also, for the record, I don't believe in supporting schools through fund raisers.  It pits kids against each other as they try to get the coveted crappy prize for selling X number of candles or rolls of wrapping paper.  If I want to support my kid's PTSA, I just write a check.  It's easier, costs me less money, and I don't end up with a bunch of junk I don't want.

 

There are some school fundraisers I am happy to participate in:

 

School Carnival

Book Fair

Jump-a-thon (And other such events where the kids do something and you pay a support amount for what they are doing)

Car Wash coupons

and the City Coupon Cards.

Oh and Dinner at X restaurant on Y day where you give them a sheet of paper and part is credited to the organization.

 

[mirth]

These friends would have a better success just asking me for $10 three times a year than getting me to buy something that costs $40 from which they can derive $10 as commission.  There is nothing I can buy from these social media retailers that I can't find comparable or superior at Target or certainly at the mall.

 

I like my friends.  I just don't like that they to integrate me into their vision of a being a seller of obviously inferior, or at best generic, wares.  (It's ok if they integrate someone else who's willing though.)  Sometimes I find it hard to believe that they think this will work and in this way I feel sorry for them.  It's like a  belief that the Easter Bunny can make you rich if you convince others to believe in him too.  Just sad.  And time-consuming.  A friend of mine who is naturally very pretty started selling Mary Kay and she started wearing lots of heavy, almost metallic makeup.  (Ladies, if you are blond, you don't look good with lipstick that is literally the color of burnished copper.)  It looked very unflattering and was a scary way of advertising why I should not destroy what looks I have by buying into her vision.

 

I can only imagine the pressure on kids as Facebook arises to convince them to sell stuff to their friends in a pyramid scheme.  I'm guessing: energy drinks, drug paraphernalia or related jewelry, membership into clubs or fan sites.  I don't know what else.

 

Probably staying off of Facebook and Twitter and whatnot all these years has put me in the hard-to-reach category, as they would have to row off into the slow-flowing and reedy tributary of email or evites to deal with people who can plausibly say several weeks later "Oh I missed that email, sorry."

 

 

[poppy]

 

 

I actually Googled "Ava Anderson sucks" and this thread popped up.

This tickled me. I have now achieved immortality!!!

[TranquilMind]

I now have 4 friends shilling this health & beauty line.

 

I get Facebook posts about it. And I get 'stealth' Facebook posts about it: gosh did you know most other products can kill you? Here's a link! So glad I switched....

 

I get invited to online "parties"

I get invited to house parties.

I have been asked â€hey have you thought about hosting a party? "

No!! Why would I do that?

 

Why is it ok to prey on your friends for your income ? And to make it about how most health & beauty products people use are toxic just adds a whole new layer of shamelessness. Oh friend I need to save you by educating you about your deadly moisturizer. And by the way I am selling the way to save yourself !

 

And I can't even vent online at my usual haunts about how obnoxious I find it because *they are all there*!

Ugh.

Just unfollow them.  Then you won't see any of it. 

[Jane in NC]

If it is any consolation, it seems that fewer invitations to at-home parties arrive as our children age--or at least that is my experience.  I was invited to a Pampered Chef party last year that also served as a fund raiser for a non-profit.  I needed something from them so I ordered an item from the catalog.  I did not attend the party.

 

Back in the day, it was the Amway people who were the most frightening.  The word's "business opportunity" said to a neighbor or co-worker translated to Amway.  They never pretended they were selling soap.  It was always MLM.