Grade Skipping?

[BuddhaMama]

Struggling right now with the decision whether or not to have our 7 year old skip 2nd grade next year and go straight into 3rd. She currently reads at at a 3rd grade level and is doing 4th grade math work (she completed all of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade math this year). She also goes to a French immersion school and is nearly fluent in French. Adding to the issue is that her school is an inner-city charter school, where most of the kids are performing well below grade level.

 

We had her tested earlier this year and her IQ is in the highly gifted range. Socially, kinder was fine, but she now struggles with relating to the other kids in her grade. She very much prefers the company of older kids. Thankfully, she is tall and fairly mature for her age, so physically/socially she's doesn't seem out of place with kids 1 or 2 years ahead of her.

 

She can be very emotional though, and has a hard time regulating her emotions at times. She gets frustrated easily, especially when doing group work in class (she loses her patience when kids aren't able to keep up with her; we're working on her being more patient and understanding). 

 

Her teacher's only concern is that she may struggle at first with the extra French (they cover a lot of vocab/grammar in 2nd grade). She also said that our daughter wouldn't necessarily be the highest achieving student in class anymore (something I think would be good for her! She's gotten into the thought process that school is really easy).

 

Do any of you have experience with whole grade acceleration?? I appreciate any advice or stories you can offer!

[OneStepAtATime]

Is it possible to work over the summer on the French, maybe have a teacher or another source tutor her at least twice a week over the summer?  I have a nephew that was accelerated.  It worked out well in the long run but it was a bit rough at the beginning of the year.  They DID work on skills over the summer and that definitely helped.  A foreign language wasn't in the mix, though.  What does your daughter think?  Not that a 7 year old should make that decision but I was just wondering if she is really attached to her classmates?

[BuddhaMama]

Yes! We were thinking of hiring one of her teacher assistants to tutor once a week over the summer, and I'm sure we could find worksheets (I have an old French textbook around somewhere...). We're also hosting a French speaking intern next year. He told us that he doesn't mind helping with homework, which could be a huge help. We're also going to continue her math instruction which we do through EPGY, lot's of reading, and writing.

 

It's interesting, she has a lot of "friends" in the sense that everyone likes her and is friendly. But as far as close friendships go, this year has been a struggle. She does Girl Scouts which she LOVES, but her Leader kinda hinted that she doesn't fit in much with the other girls.

 

Her two closest friends won't be at her school next year (one is moving away, the other is moving schools). I think that would help a bit. It could be a fresh start, so to speak. But the idea makes her nervous.

[SKL]

Academically, I think it's a great idea.  I agree that it's not good if a child gets no challenge all day at school.

 

Socially, I would feel out your daughter and try go get a sense of how she'd do in the higher class.  Emotionally, would she be able to handle the maturity expectations of a 3rd grade teacher?

 

Both of my kids are in a grade higher than they are "supposed" to be.  Socially and emotionally, they as individuals don't have a problem with this.  Academically, the one who is academically advanced still isn't challenged too much.  There are kids who are more than 1.5 years older than she is, and this means that she has company at the top of the class, which is good.  The other nice thing is that she is grouped with the older kids for extracurriculars and summer camps etc., which means a more appropriate level of material in those activities too.  My kid isn't really socially adept, but she does like discussing the books she's read and making up new stories / play scenarios based on those books.  So she has a place in her grade.  If she were in the lower grade, I don't know what she'd talk about with her peers.

[Elisabet1]

I was supposed to grade accelerate when I was a child and my parents said no. That is a big regret. I spent so many years sitting around, bored out of my mind, when I really just wanted to be studying things like physics and Latin. It was awful.

 

Years later, with my daughter, in a district where grade acceleration is rare, she was offered it. I actually thought not doing grade acceleration would give her some sort of edge when it came to applying for college. I was wrong! And senior year has been a wash. I thought it would be different for her because of all the AP courses. It was not. College classes would have been way better than AP courses. Regardless, she still would have had AP courses. Being one year younger in her classes would not have made those classes suddenly much harder. And she was ready for college a year ago, easily. So, I really regret not sending her a year earlier, letting her advance a grade.

 

American "Society" tells us that kids should never be allowed to learn ahead of their peers. They say if a child is so smart, they should be held back until their personality changes to where they have tons of friends and are more interested in friends than school. Read in to what people say. "she needs to be with kids her own age" "I know she relates better to people older than her, but that is just wrong" (what is wrong with it?) 

[BuddhaMama]

I was thinking about the whole college thing too-- even though it's sooo far away. Thank you for the reassurance! 

 

 

I was supposed to grade accelerate when I was a child and my parents said no. That is a big regret. I spent so many years sitting around, bored out of my mind, when I really just wanted to be studying things like physics and Latin. It was awful.

 

Years later, with my daughter, in a district where grade acceleration is rare, she was offered it. I actually thought not doing grade acceleration would give her some sort of edge when it came to applying for college. I was wrong! And senior year has been a wash. I thought it would be different for her because of all the AP courses. It was not. College classes would have been way better than AP courses. Regardless, she still would have had AP courses. Being one year younger in her classes would not have made those classes suddenly much harder. And she was ready for college a year ago, easily. So, I really regret not sending her a year earlier, letting her advance a grade.

 

American "Society" tells us that kids should never be allowed to learn ahead of their peers. They say if a child is so smart, they should be held back until their personality changes to where they have tons of friends and are more interested in friends than school. Read in to what people say. "she needs to be with kids her own age" "I know she relates better to people older than her, but that is just wrong" (what is wrong with it?) 

 

[BuddhaMama]

Ideally, we would home school full-time (pretty much have daily fantasies about it). I'm currently getting my PhD though... the summer's I am around, but during the school year I take classes and work as a graduate assistant. We could *potentially* make it work by hiring a part-time nanny during the times I have class and need to be on campus. But money is super tight, I'm not sure if we could swing it :/

 

Plus my schedule is pretty packed with research and school obligations. I also have a six year old and one year old. We're busy to say the least. 

 

Our local district has fantastic test scores and is considered "one of the best." But I don't particularly like their curriculum and the culture doesn't match with our family values. I still may set us a classroom visit as soon as the new year starts. I wish I would have done it when school was still in session!

 

I'm worried about bouncing around to school to school. We moved a lot growing up and I hated how often I had to change schools. 

 

 

 

 

 I would advise asking yourself why you are sending her to school. It sounds like you've got the academics covered at home except for foreign language. The social sounds like it would difficult either way. How's the emotional fit?

 

My son did skip 2nd.  The cutthroat competitive families in the grade he left were happy, and those in the grade he went into were upset...as they knew he would get an honors seat, and they had redshirted to increase their chances of an honors middle and high school experience.  Lots of bullying and some property destruction occured, as well as outright theft.  The poverty families here retaliate successfully by advocating that the district not provide courses at the instructional level that a gifted child needs...enrichment, science & math AP, and academic electives have all been eliminated. 

 

The only reason we were in the district was IB. When that was eliminated, I was ill, and unable to district hop.  I would advise you to district hop, into a setting that will better meet your child's needs or to homeschool.

 

[Dana]

Couple of links that you may find helpful:

Hoagie's Gifted

Davidson Database- articles (and their forums are also good)

 

Schools should have access to the Iowa Acceleration Scale which can give you more information about whether a skip may be appropriate for a specific child.

 

I skipped first grade. Never had a problem with academics, was top of the class without a ton of work, even in the most advanced classes when grouped by ability.

 

By 7th grade I was suicidal.

So for me, acceleration wasn't helpful.

I may have been suicidal if I'd stayed in the correct grade, but being a year younger in that area - and without having kids in our neighborhood (bussed to magnet schools), and being latch-key, and no family in the area.... it was bad. I think things would have to be really really bad for me to consider skipping my son.

 

Everything I have read talking about studies seems to say that the data is that acceleration is typically really good for students.

It wasn't for me. I repeated 7th grade and switched schools (got into a different program) and I started to have friends for the first time. I am convinced that I would have made an attempt the next year if I'd stayed ahead and in that environment.

 

Completely anecdotal, but it was my experience. I am aware that the research says that my experience is not the norm.

 

We do have some posters here who do manage to homeschool while having an academic career... but it's got it's own set of issues, and their kids are older.

 

Do check out some of the links - and the Iowa Acceleration Scale may be a really useful tool in making your decision.

Best of luck to you all!

[BuddhaMama]

I really appreciate you sharing your experience. I had a serious bout of post-postpartum depression after my 2nd was born. Never suicidal, but I couldn't function for months. It was bad.

 

My daughter is really, really sensitive. Even though she doesn't fit in all the time with the kids in her grade, she does know them all and feels comfortable. I worry that if we bumped her up she would replace her academic boredom for complete social isolation. Sigh. 

 

My husband is dead set on her skipping. But he's really only considering the academic portion. I'm going to share your story with him tonight. 

 

Thanks!

 

 

Couple of links that you may find helpful:

Hoagie's Gifted

Davidson Database- articles (and their forums are also good)

 

Schools should have access to the Iowa Acceleration Scale which can give you more information about whether a skip may be appropriate for a specific child.

 

I skipped first grade. Never had a problem with academics, was top of the class without a ton of work, even in the most advanced classes when grouped by ability.

 

By 7th grade I was suicidal.

So for me, acceleration wasn't helpful.

I may have been suicidal if I'd stayed in the correct grade, but being a year younger in that area - and without having kids in our neighborhood (bussed to magnet schools), and being latch-key, and no family in the area.... it was bad. I think things would have to be really really bad for me to consider skipping my son.

 

Everything I have read talking about studies seems to say that the data is that acceleration is typically really good for students.

It wasn't for me. I repeated 7th grade and switched schools (got into a different program) and I started to have friends for the first time. I am convinced that I would have made an attempt the next year if I'd stayed ahead and in that environment.

 

Completely anecdotal, but it was my experience. I am aware that the research says that my experience is not the norm.

 

We do have some posters here who do manage to homeschool while having an academic career... but it's got it's own set of issues, and their kids are older.

 

Do check out some of the links - and the Iowa Acceleration Scale may be a really useful tool in making your decision.

Best of luck to you all!

 

[Dana]

And I still wasn't academically challenged at the original school. It was only at the magnet school that I got some challenge.

 

Honestly, some type of school at home where I could move at my own pace may have been a solution (K12 or something along those lines). But definitely check the IAS for additional info.

 

My folks expected to move after they finished school, so they thought I could stay back when we moved and it wouldn't be a big deal....except we didn't move until after I finally switched schools and repeated 7th, but that's another trauma :)

 

If you want, you can PM me with specific questions if it helps. But again, I'm just one data point and the research goes the other way.

[kiwik]

I didn't skip and ended up severely depressed (at the time killing the bullies had more appeal than suicide but I chose quitting school the minute it was legal(15 then). Probably wouldn't have made much difference if I had skipped but it may have got me to the more interesting stuff before I was able to leave school.

 

Ps. Where and when I attending school about half the kids left when they turned 15 (in the equivalent of grade 9 or 10. Grade 11 had the university exams so nearly all the rest left then. That left 7 kids in the final year who needed to sit bursary for financial reasons or who weren't old enough for university.

[kentuckymom]

There was a seven year old girl in my son's 3rd grade class this year. She wasn't exactly accelerated. She was homeschooled for preschool and was working at an advanced 1st grade level when she started school at 5. I'm not sure how her parents managed this since normally grade acceleration does not happen in our district, but the school let her start in first grade instead of kindergarten. Her situation clearly isn't the same as your daughter's since she just started off a grade ahead, but she doesn't seem to have had any problems socially. I wouldn't have known she was young for her grade if she hadn't told me. She was in the advanced math and reading groups, and probably would have been bored out of her mind if she'd been in second grade this year, so, for her, it seems to have been a good option.

[BuddhaMama]

Okay, so my husband and I were talking last night and I think we came up with a solution. We're going to keep her in 2nd grade for next year, but have her go to 4th grade for math, continue her gifted pull-out program, and also continue after schooling. The 2nd grade teacher who we're pretty sure she is going to have is in charge of the gifted pull-out program and has a great relationship with our kid.

 

Academically, I do think the 3rd grade curriculum would be a better fit BUT I just found out 2 out of 3 of the current 3rd grade teachers won't be returning next year (and I'm not crazy about the one who is staying). Obviously, if it's not working we can always re-evaluate, but if that's the case we'll probably think long and hard about making homeschool work. 

[katilac]

That sounds like a very workable solution. It's awesome that they will let her go to 4th grade math. 

 

I think grade skips can be very positive for bright children, and less so for gifted children. If she's highly gifted, 3rd grade vs 2nd grade only solves so many problems, imo. 

 

The immersion experience is likely a huge plus. Foreign languages can be a great way to challenge gifted kids. 

 

Looking ahead to high school is a smart thing to do, but it's really difficult to project that far ahead. I think you always have to choose what's best now, and deal with tomorrow when it gets here. There are always options. She can grade skip later, she can dual enroll, she can home school, she can go to college early. You are not boxing her in with this one decision in 2nd grade. 

[GeorgiaGirl160]

Hi,

 

Just an opinion from a mom who was skipped ahead in school.  I was gifted, and skipped 1st grade.  I graduated a few weeks after I turned 16.  My birthday is April 30th, so I was already the youngest in the class before I was skipped.

 

Skipping ahead helped academically, but it was very hard socially.  I was in high school classes with boys at least two years older than me, sometimes more in the advanced subjects.  Several sexually harassed me.  It was very hard as a 14 year old dealing with 17-18 year old boys being sexually aggressive.  I was finally sexually assaulted and hospitalized as a senior by another student.

 

I was always out of sync with the other kids.  Too young to drive, etc.  I got my drivers license a month before my diploma.   I really didn't have friends/peers.  Most people ignored me, and the rest treated me like meat, a sexual target, or a punching bag.  I was bullied constantly, especially in elementary school.

 

I was also very young when I went away to college, which felt awkward and vulnerable. 

 

As I told a friend recently, if given the option with my own children, I would not do it.  I have a 7 year old daughter now who is gifted and probably could skip a grade.  I find other ways to challenge her through science programs, etc. while keeping her with her age group.  Having been there, I really think that's best.

 

Just $0.02 from someone who lived it,

 

GeorgiaMom160

[kiwik]

I think maybe you should include home schooling in your mid term planning. you can't now but maybe when she is older you will be able to. Just keep it in mind as you make other decisions.