mommaklee Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Hi, We're getting an eval. done for ADHD. Just a basic first run thing, but when I've read up on it, the books/ articles/ blogs echo what I've experienced with my son. It's like they are reading our mail :) Anyway, I've checked out a few books from the library, The Gift of ADHD, The ADD & ADHD Answer Book, and The Family ADHD solution. I just wanted to ask, what are some books that really helped you understand ADHD or that gave you helpful tools in dealing with ADHD kid(s) in the home so things are not always in an uproar. Thank you! -mommaklee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life...but I don't have kids with ADD or ADHD (that I know of ;) ). We just have Executive Function issues around here. Heather recommended this book and it has been a great read. So has Smart but Scattered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Smart But Scatttered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Tharp Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I keep returning to this one. Parenting Children with ADHD by Vincent J. Monastra http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Children-ADHD-Medicine-Lifetools/dp/1591471826/ref=sr_1_18?ie=UTF8&qid=1402019716&sr=8-18&keywords=parenting+your+adhd+child Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, 2nd Edition-Revised and Updated: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge... Dyslexic Advantage (even if your kids aren't diagnosed dyslexic!) You said things are in a constant uproar in your house. For that you need structure. Wrap your brain around what structure is and implement it if you can... For us things get chaotic because of having two kids. One kid, no biggee, just go with his flow. Two kids, and suddenly not only are you structuring their lives, but you're structuring their lives to be away from each other, not fight, meet totally separate needs, etc., whew! So it's structure, back to structure. Sometimes you need some social skills instruction, like when you are loud in the morning I feel this way... Then you create some structure to change that situation. (Quiet/slow person in the morning gets assignments in their room so they don't come out till they're awake and ready to handle life with everyone else, that kind of thing.) So figure out what is causing your uproar and structure it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyKC Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 My favorite was Superparenting for ADD. LOVED that book! After learning better parenting for ADHD, I wrote this webpage:Behavior Management for ADHD Impulsivity and Defiance, which features the Superparenting book... It really did help me understand my child better. (In the interest of full disclosure, the link on my website for the book is an affiliate link, but the one posted for the book here is not--it's a direct link to the book on Amazon. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 My favorite was Superparenting for ADD. LOVED that book! After learning better parenting for ADHD, I wrote this webpage:Behavior Management for ADHD Impulsivity and Defiance, which features the Superparenting book... It really did help me understand my child better. (In the interest of full disclosure, the link on my website for the book is an affiliate link, but the one posted for the book here is not--it's a direct link to the book on Amazon. ;-) Total aside, just commenting on how weird it is to read your page and realize it doesn't even apply to ds, that he just totally has his own set of rules and parameters in life. I look at things and think they're defiance, and for him they're just this strong need to xyz. Sigh. As in it's not just adhd. As in I don't know. As in it has nothing to do with this thread but I get tired dealing with it. As in we have that chaos the op hinted at and here it's probably not just adhd. Adhd alone is fun and workable discipline wise. Ok, maybe nobody else thinks so, but I'd take adhd any day over this. Ds is sort of mind-altering, like twist your universe, go to the Holodeck, find yourself somewhere else, just let me out... Rough morning, and it's only 10:40. :nopity: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer-72 Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 OhE, sorry for the rough morning! Hope it turns around for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Yes, sorry you are having a tough morning OhE. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyKC Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Total aside, just commenting on how weird it is to read your page and realize it doesn't even apply to ds, that he just totally has his own set of rules and parameters in life. I look at things and think they're defiance, and for him they're just this strong need to xyz. Sigh. As in it's not just adhd. As in I don't know. As in it has nothing to do with this thread but I get tired dealing with it. As in we have that chaos the op hinted at and here it's probably not just adhd. Adhd alone is fun and workable discipline wise. Ok, maybe nobody else thinks so, but I'd take adhd any day over this. Ds is sort of mind-altering, like twist your universe, go to the Holodeck, find yourself somewhere else, just let me out... Rough morning, and it's only 10:40. :nopity: So very sorry you're having a rough morning! Makes me think of one boy I know--he has ADHD Combined Inattentive and Hyperactive type, and his household is chaos. Mom has to hire someone just to watch said child to get things done in the house and even then it's a challenge. Since ADHD comes in degrees, and ADHD, Inattentive type (ADD) is much milder from the chaos/impulsive standpoint it's what I think of when I read your wording of "ADHD alone." That said, chaos can still be ADHD with the hyperactive & impuslivity component being over the top. That doesn't help with the elimination of chaos, but the ADHD parenting stuff might still apply to a degree or in certain circumstances. I do totally know what you mean though about the typical parenting advice not being sufficient or not seeming to apply. Having spent time with chaos-child.. there was just no sense of ability to control through any measure of discipline. Chaos-child has his own rules and parameters with the strong "need" to just do xyz, which I think sometimes was an inability to control his own impulse to do what he wants to do and other times I thought it was an obsessive type of thing --HAVE TO DO...because I've seen him SOOO DETERMINED to do what he wanted that every measure of containment, redirection, discipline, etc. failed (in the end) to stop him from doing it! In any case, SOOOO SOOORRY! Cause I *know* that one little boy... and I can only imagine the stress of living with it 24/7. :grouphug: HUUUG! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 So very sorry you're having a rough morning! Makes me think of one boy I know--he has ADHD Combined Inattentive and Hyperactive type, and his household is chaos. Mom has to hire someone just to watch said child to get things done in the house and even then it's a challenge. Since ADHD comes in degrees, and ADHD, Inattentive type (ADD) is much milder from the chaos/impulsive standpoint it's what I think of when I read your wording of "ADHD alone." That said, chaos can still be ADHD with the hyperactive & impuslivity component being over the top. That doesn't help with the elimination of chaos, but the ADHD parenting stuff might still apply to a degree or in certain circumstances. I do totally know what you mean though about the typical parenting advice not being sufficient or not seeming to apply. Having spent time with chaos-child.. there was just no sense of ability to control through any measure of discipline. Chaos-child has his own rules and parameters with the strong "need" to just do xyz, which I think sometimes was an inability to control his own impulse to do what he wants to do and other times I thought it was an obsessive type of thing --HAVE TO DO...because I've seen him SOOO DETERMINED to do what he wanted that every measure of containment, redirection, discipline, etc. failed (in the end) to stop him from doing it! In any case, SOOOO SOOORRY! Cause I *know* that one little boy... and I can only imagine the stress of living with it 24/7. :grouphug: HUUUG! I guess we'll see. I really don't know what it is with him. Kbutton has met him, so she can say. :) You're right though that there's the perseveration element, whatever he gets his mind fixed on, and once it's fixed it's FIXED. It was just a little in spades this morning. I turned on Curious George on the amazon fire tv thing, thinking it would help him sit for his hair trim, which it did. Hair came off, tv stayed on. Ugh. Hours later and he still didn't want it off. After RAT pack he wanted it back on. And back on. Finally he took a break (somehow I pried him away), and when he came back, low and behold the remote had stopped working! :lol: (Mommy sabotage, I removed a battery.) I told him he used it so much the remote quite working. :smilielol5: So now y'all know my deep, dark secret! I'm not a little tv averse, and usually we can do it in moderation. I let him have ice cream yesterday, so maybe that was payback, dunno. Some days he's easy and some days :smash: On the plus side, RAT pack gymnastics was interesting. He fell on his head/neck TWICE because the idiot running the class was not supervising properly. I finally came down from the peanut gallery and did some polite hollering and got that straightened out. :scared: Anyways, in class he's this hyper-focused, angelic soul. The other kids are running around like loons, disobeying, not following instructions, and he's so attentive, so careful to do precisely what the instructor wants. The woman next to me is going on and on about how the two boys she brought surely have adhd, and I'm thinking yeah, you should see him at home. :smilielol5: But seriously, I previously assumed he would get an adhd combined label. At this point, dunno. He doesn't have the caffeine flip. If that's adhd combined, then those kids just had too much Fruit Loops for breakfast. Well that's a total aside. We'll survive. Thanks for listening. I think it was just payback for letting him have ice cream. Or I'm failing as a human. Or I don't know, lol. I have him again tomorrow all day by myself. He has these intense WANTS. I just have to step up my game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaklee Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 Hi Everyone, I am sorry it took me so long to get back here, but I wanted to say thank you for the suggestions. My son has met pretty much all the base level criteria for ADHD since he was like 3 yo. I just though, Of Course he is busy, forgetful, energetic..., he's 3!!! But years down the road and well....he's the same. I hope to talk more to the pediatrician in a couple of weeks. I need to get the Vanderbilt questionairres from his choir teachers. Now that I am truly recognizing and seeing ADHD for what it is in my son, I have changed up a couple of things. Now, I give ONE command at a time, just one. I am also being more consistent about not talking to the drama. I have also been coaching him that just like others need to work harder at math to be good at it or harder at public speaking to do okay in it, he has to work harder to remember where he put his cup and to keep it in a place where he knows he can find it....that kind of stuff. Baby steps for now. Again, thank you for taking the time to answer my question about the books. I want to learn how to deal with him in a more positive manner and not be...frustrating him by having the wrong expectations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaklee Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 Oh, I wanted to add, that the "Aha!" moment for me was that we had gone to a different church at night, and this church had about 20 feet of frontage before you got to a busy road (4 lane 45mph though people do 50-55 on it) and when we parked and started getting out of the car my 10yo son bolted from the car and ran toward the busy road...in the dark...and my 3yo ran after him. It was scary and obviously NOT normal. I asked him why he did it...his response was, "I wanted to run"....That was some serious impulsivity and as I watch for it now, I see what was always before me in a new light... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 On that idea of commands, you mentioned giving one at a time. Obviously part of that is a working memory issue. I remember reading a comment from somebody around here whose dc had CAPD among other things, and she had the dc repeat instructions. Apparently it worked miracles for him, and it makes sense when you think about it. I'm intentionally giving my ds5.5 two-step instructions and asking him to repeat them. I'm cool with paraphrases. I'm trying to stretch his working memory and ability to hold the tasks and follow through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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