Kari C in SC Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I have been out of town and just seeing this now. First, I want to say how sorry I am. Next I want to say that I truly know that words are not of much help right now. Tomorrow marks the 4 year anniversary of my oldest being killed in a car accident. I know your pain and I do not wish it on anyone. I saw that you said that you are not in shock. Maybe you aren't, but I can tell you that it takes a long while to get your bearings again. Be gentle and kind with yourself and your family. Do whatever you feel you need. My kids were 11 and 5 when their brother died. It was and is a long road for them. For a solid 2 years, my youngest cried over every. single. thing. His heart hurt and he needed to cry. I learned to give him the space he needed to feel his pain. Here I sit 4 years later and it still hurts, but the sharp pain becomes more manageable. It is a long journey and I am so very, very sorry for your loss. If there is absolutely anything I can do to help, please pm me and I will give you my direct contact info. Lots of hugs. Be kind to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 I've been thinking of you all week, Kari. I think it is **so much** harder when they are older. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but I think the expectations are hardest to bury. I had a developmentally delayed, autistic boy. He was as cute as anything but I didn't have expectations. I just hoped he'd grow up and it wouldn't be my fault if he didn't. And his parting gift was it wasn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I've been thinking of you all week, Kari. I think it is **so much** harder when they are older. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but I think the expectations are hardest to bury. I had a developmentally delayed, autistic boy. He was as cute as anything but I didn't have expectations. I just hoped he'd grow up and it wouldn't be my fault if he didn't. And his parting gift was it wasn't. This brought tears to my eyes. Thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I've been thinking of you all week, Kari. I think it is **so much** harder when they are older. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but I think the expectations are hardest to bury. I had a developmentally delayed, autistic boy. He was as cute as anything but I didn't have expectations. I just hoped he'd grow up and it wouldn't be my fault if he didn't. And his parting gift was it wasn't. Rosie, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, you are an amazing woman. I don't know how you can be so strong, but I'm glad to know there are people like you in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss, Rosie. I have no words to express my sorrow on your behalf. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I have been looking at this thread for days and thinking of you & your family many times each day but I still don't know what to say. "I'm sorry for your loss" is probably the appropriate thing, but it feels wholly inadequate once typed out. Sending you love and support and wishing you peace, whether that peace comes in brief or lasting moments. Sara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Rosie, I haven't been on the forum for the last few weeks, so I just saw this thread. I am so very, very sorry. I can't even imagine that something so incredibly horrible has happened to your family. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I've been thinking of you all week, Kari. I think it is **so much** harder when they are older. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but I think the expectations are hardest to bury. I had a developmentally delayed, autistic boy. He was as cute as anything but I didn't have expectations. I just hoped he'd grow up and it wouldn't be my fault if he didn't. And his parting gift was it wasn't. I am in awe of you. Your words are so touching. I have a hard time even opening this thread because it is so heart-wrenching. Can you believe that? I'm having a hard time? What a stupid thing to even think! Even more stupid confession... I was actually in Australia when it happened. I've never been there before. I was only there for 4 days and I was in Sydney which is not even close to you. But I just keep thinking I wish I could have come to you, been there for you. How could I just happen to be in Australia for the first time ever at that exact moment and not help you? But I didn't read the boards and missed the opportunity. I know it sounds silly but that's how I feel. But that is the effect you have on people, Rosie. You have such an amazing heart that we all want to rush to where you are and hold you up and it hurts to have been so close but so far away. I feel like I let you down even though I know that makes no sense. My heart bleeds for you right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 You remain in my thoughts, dear Rosie. In my imagination, Marek and kalanamak are in the midst of a most interesting conversation, and piling up apple cores together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamzanne Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I am so very sorry that this terrible thing has happened. My heart goes out to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 I've thought of you every day since reading this last week. I don't have the words to express how my heart hurts for you. I'm in awe of our community here, how even through posts we feel so much for each other. You have so much strength and courage and we are so blessed to have you here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 In my imagination, Marek and kalanamak are in the midst of a most interesting conversation, and piling up apple cores together. :lol: :lol: :lol: My mum had a dream of him smiling, with a clean face and a new hoodie. Someone had to be responsible for that because I know where his priorities were and cleanliness wasn't one of them. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Rosie, in trying to find a way to honor your young son's life I want you to know that this week the snacks and fruit used for snacks at a summer program for slum children were donated by me in his honor. I hope that is cool with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Oh, Rosie! I am crying this morning reading your words. My mother passed away in February, and it has been so very, very hard. I can't even imagine, though, the pain you are feeling. My heart has been hurting for you so much, and our family has been praying for you all each night when we do our family devotions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Rosie, you are truly amazing. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 Rosie, in trying to find a way to honor your young son's life I want you to know that this week the snacks and fruit used for snacks at a summer program for slum children were donated by me in his honor. I hope that is cool with you. Very, very cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Rosie, you are a much much stronger person than I. Every time I sit to work on the blanket square I start crying. Every time I see this thread I start crying. :crying: You're an amazing mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 i think of you and pray for you and your family every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Rosie, I'm so very sorry the loss of your son. Praying that you will be lifted up and given strength to get through this. Lea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Count me as another fan--often when I'm struggling the quote from Krishnamurti runs through my head. I'm so sorry and am praying for you and your sweet boy and girl. Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 My heart hurts for you. I'm so very very sorry for the loss of your precious little guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Thinking of you today Rosie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisB Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 :crying: :grouphug: Let perpetual light shine upon him. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisB Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 You remain in my thoughts, dear Rosie. In my imagination, Marek and kalanamak are in the midst of a most interesting conversation, and piling up apple cores together. LOVE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I've been thinking of you all week, Kari. I think it is **so much** harder when they are older. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but I think the expectations are hardest to bury. I had a developmentally delayed, autistic boy. He was as cute as anything but I didn't have expectations. I just hoped he'd grow up and it wouldn't be my fault if he didn't. And his parting gift was it wasn't. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 :lol: :lol: :lol: My mum had a dream of him smiling, with a clean face and a new hoodie. Someone had to be responsible for that because I know where his priorities were and cleanliness wasn't one of them. :lol: That's really precious Rosie. Wishes of peace for you and Zia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dina in Oklahoma Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Rosie~ Our thoughts and prayers continue for you and Zia daily. Dina and family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I'm so very sorry, Rosie. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama27 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I can't even imagine. Praying for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I still can't imagine that something so horrible has happened. I keep thinking of you, Rosie, and wishing there was something we could do to help you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrightmom Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 There aren't words …. So sorry for your loss. We are praying for you from the PNW in the U.S. (((Rosie and her family))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Rosie, I'm sorry. Don't go away very far, and don't be polite. I don't have any nice words, either, to describe the feelings I felt after reading of Marek's death. Like albeto said-- except maybe stronger. I've memorized Jan. 26 as his birthday. I won't forget. Love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 :grouphug: Rosie, I'm so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Rosie, I'm just checking in to say I am still thinking about you and I hope you are holding up OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 One of our homeschool groups held a memorial for him on Thursday, planting an apple tree over at the lake where we had our Christmas break up last year. We could just about see him running along the shoreline and sitting in the water up to his armpits :lol: The apple tree so he can repay all those snacks he pinched off everyone else. Seriously, that kid went out to a playground with his uncle once, and came home with a lolly bag having got himself invited to someone's party! Embarrassing for Mum here, but Uncle thought it was hysterical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 That's a neat memory Rosie. :grouphug: :grouphug: and good thoughts, prayers for you today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 One of our homeschool groups held a memorial for him on Thursday, planting an apple tree over at the lake where we had our Christmas break up last year. We could just about see him running along the shoreline and sitting in the water up to his armpits :lol: The apple tree so he can repay all those snacks he pinched off everyone else. Seriously, that kid went out to a playground with his uncle once, and came home with a lolly bag having got himself invited to someone's party! Embarrassing for Mum here, but Uncle thought it was hysterical. That's great! What a wonderful way to remember him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Rosie, Marek sounds like he was quite the character with such a zest for life that he didn't let anything slow him down! I saw in a previous thread posted about fixing your Mom's fence that you refer to him as 'the boybarian'. That made me grin. I hope all those "zesty memories" keep you and your family smiling even through these toughest of times. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 The pursuit of watermelon :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 The pursuit of watermelon :D I almost bought watermelon fabric for the quilt today, but didn't! I might have to go back!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 I'm so sorry for your loss. The memorial sounds lovely. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 The pursuit of watermelon :D Oh Rosie! He looks like such a delightfully impish little boy. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 He is just adorable! I'm glad you have wonderful memories of your sweet boy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SadieMarie Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 That picture reminds me of my brothers when they were little, grubby, busy, lovely boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 One of our homeschool groups held a memorial for him on Thursday, planting an apple tree over at the lake where we had our Christmas break up last year. We could just about see him running along the shoreline and sitting in the water up to his armpits :lol: The apple tree so he can repay all those snacks he pinched off everyone else. Seriously, that kid went out to a playground with his uncle once, and came home with a lolly bag having got himself invited to someone's party! Embarrassing for Mum here, but Uncle thought it was hysterical. What a wonderful memorial and memory! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3 Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I just saw this. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I have only dealt with miscarriage, and cannot fathom the pain you and your family are experiencing. This is every mother's nightmare. What a beautiful, beautiful boy. May you find peace and healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 such a lovely boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 The pursuit of watermelon :D What a gorgeous little guy. ♥ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I haven't been on WTM in a long time, but I wanted to let you know how very sorry I am to hear of this terrible heartache. I'll light a candle tomorrow for him, you, and your daughter. So terribly sad. :.( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 I'm sorry about Marek, Rosie. I am so very sorry for what happened to him. I don't really know you but I cried upon reading what you wrote. I love his name, what a beautiful child. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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