Using CAP W&R with older students

[Chrysalis Academy]

I'm using Fable with my little one, and Narrative 2 with my 6th grader.  I thought it might be nice to have a thread where those of us using W&R with older kids could share their work and get feedback, and also describe how we are modifying lessons.  But I thought it would be better to have it in its own thread - I certainly don't want to compare my 2nd grader's writing to my 6th graders!

 

Anyway, here is my 6th grader's final story for Narrative 2 Lesson 5.  The process was that the first day I had her read and outline the story, the second day I had her rewrite the story from her outline, and the 3rd day I had her amplify the story by adding the first two paragraphs - a description of Hercules and a description of the stable.  She had a lot of fun with the assignment, and I like how her voice really came through, and I like how many different writing skills she practiced in the production of this single paper!

 

 The Fifth Labor of Hercules

Hercules was a striking man, and it was easy to see why many men were jealous of him, for who would not envy those long, muscular legs, or those strong but gentle arms which had sent many a foe flailing headlong into the dust.  Not only was he the strongest man in the world, but he had a radiance about him that caused many lovesick young girls to compare him to the sun.  So can you blame the many young men for envying him as they did?  Or the many young ladies for swooning at the sight of him?

 

But as Hercules approached the stables it seemed he finally had met his match, for the stable was very like him, only just the opposite.  For instead of causing men to glare and girls to swoon, the smell of it caused men to swoon and girls to shriek!  The manure was piled so high that you could no longer squeeze in the goats or oxen that had once boarded there.  If you tried to force an animal into one of the stalls – which you could not do as you would be immediately buried upon opening the door – even the tallest and strongest ox would sink until the manure completely covered his head.  You would not even be able to enter the stables because of the clouds of flies, they were so thick that you could not penetrate them, you could not walk or see.  They were the worst kind of flies, the biting kind, and if no human could stand in there for more than five minutes without being eaten alive, then certainly no animal could live there.

 

So you can imagine the strong, brave, and beautiful Hercules’s reaction when he saw the task he had to do.  In fact, he behaved very like the young ladies who gazed at him.  He had a violent fit of sneezing, and fainted dead away on top of a large pile of manure.  (Please note that though all ladies swooned at the sight of him, very few of them sneezed.)

 

“How kind of you to clean the stables, Hercules,†said the king. “I am afraid it has never been cleaned before, so it is quite filthy, but no matter, you will be well paid, you shall have a goat and an ox out of every ten of mine, when the job is done, that is.†The king knew that no man could do the job, so he felt very safe making this promise.

 

Hercules knew that even with his great strength it would take a lifetime to do the job, so he decided to use his wit. Next to the stables ran a great river, and Hercules decide to use it to clean out the stables. He dug a channel leading from the river to the stables, and dammed up the rest of the river so that the water flowed down the channel and into the stables, clearing away all the muck and filth and leaving the stables spotless.

 

When the king saw the stables he was very surprised, and he refused to pay Hercules what he had promised. “The river has cleaned out the stables, not you at all!†he said.  When he heard this Hercules became very angry - he hated double dealers - so he picked up the king and heaved him into the water. He fished the king out a little downstream and found him very much humbled. 

[Eileen Aroon]

This is great! I couldn't stop reading. Your daughter is a hoot.

 

If CAP enables a sparkling personality like that to show through writing, I want to buy the whole program now.

[MyLittleBears]

Thanks for sharing! Just started Narative 2 with my 7th grader . I have never seen him actually enjoy writing until now.

[Lakeside]

How did I not know about this program earlier?  I've been trying to use CW with my 7th grader and it has been so difficult to implement it.  I really want it to work, but I'm not sure if it is going to in large part because I am having a hard time wrapping my head around it.  Are any of you familiar with CW and how it might compare to CAP WR?

[Chrysalis Academy]

I'm not, but I think this question has been asked recently on either the General or K-8 boards.  You might try a search for CAP W&R there.

[Lakeside]

I'm not, but I think this question has been asked recently on either the General or K-8 boards.  You might try a search for CAP W&R there.

Okay, thank you.  I didn't realize that this was on the writing board.  I found it doing a search and was excited because it was the only thread that I've seen that discusses using W&R with an older student.  

[Chrysalis Academy]

Here are a few other writing assignments my 6th grader produced using Narrative 2:

 

Jack and the Giant - Amplification (Lesson 2)

The clock tolled twelve. The giant, who had been listening intently for this ever since it struck eleven, grinned trollishly. He crept quietly into Jack’s bedroom, or, he thought he crept quietly. He spotted a lump lying in the middle of the bed. “Your giant killing days are over, human†he said with a dry chuckle. Then he struck, hard, on the middle of the lump; his aim was good. Again and again he hit the lump, all over, aiming to break all of Jack’s bones.

 

Under the bed Jack giggled with mirth, while he watched the giant bashing the log he had put on his bed. He grinned at the look of oafish concentration on its large ugly face. Finally the Giant was satisfied. For a moment he stared at the bed, hardly daring to believe he had done it, and how easy it had been. Then he smirked, very pleased with himself, spat on the smashed figure on the bed, and shuffled back to his own room.

 

Jack, still chortling heartily, cleared the bark chips that were the remainder of the log off his bed, climbed in, and slept till morning. When he awoke, he walked down to the kitchen. “Thank you very much for having me to stay†he said “I had the most wonderful night sleep!†then he stalked out the front door, thoroughly enjoying the look of dumbfounded surprise on the giant’s face. The giant, realizing he had been tricked, put his head in his arms and sobbed, and in doing so, he let his breakfast burn.              

 

The Snake and the Giraffe (Fable rewrite, Lesson 3)

A short snake said to a long snake, “Dear daddy, I have seen the longest creature reaching up to eat leaves from the highest trees!†“Piffle,†said the long snake. “That is only the giraffe, and he is not so long! Why with no trouble at all I could stretch myself up and nibble insects off the leaves.†And he pulled and pulled and pulled and stretched and stretched and stretched. “There, son!†cried the long snake. “Am I not yet as long as the giraffe?†“No father, he was much higher than that!†said the short snake. Then the long snake pulled and pulled and pulled and stretched and stretched and stretched until POP! All of the bones in the long snake’s spine came apart and fell to the ground. And if you had gathered all the pieces and lined them up, they still would not be as long as the giraffe.   

 

Lesson 6 - Rewrite narrative with an invented protagonist

One day in India, a squinty eyed salesman by the name of Sylvester Slywart came shuffling down a country road pulling a wagon and trying not to kick up too much dust, which was impossible because the road was a dirt one. He was there on business, he had been trying to sell the villagers a new kind of insect repellent, and had not been very successful, as the villagers were perfectly happy covering themselves in mud to keep away the bugs.                                                                                          

 

As he walked along, tugging his oily black mustache and shuddering at the thought of all that mud, he came upon a tiger locked in a large iron cage. “O my fine fellow,†said the tiger, “You look a man of sense! Will you please release me from my cage so that I may get a little drink of water?†But instead Sylvester Slywart rushed over to his wagon and rummaged in his big black bag. “O my dear tiger,†said Sylvester Slywart, “Can I sell you this fine automatic- refilling, mold-free, dishwasher-safe, aluminum water bowl? And this puncture-free gallon of clear Silver Pine spring water? There is nothing better, I assure you! And all for the amazing price of $29.99!†The tiger looked perplexed for a moment, then regained his footing. “No you silly fool of a man! I just want out of this cage!†“In that case dear chum, can I offer you this risk-free fail-proof easy-to-use lock picking kit? I can give it to you for only $9.99!†Sylvester Slywart was becoming quite excited now and was tugging his oily black mustache in a most agitated fashion. “Well…†said the tiger slowly, “That would be most helpful, but I have no money. I have only this silver collar that the villagers put on me, is it worth enough?†“Yes! Yes! That will do very nicely!†said Sylvester Slywart, who was indeed very sly. He knew that the collar was worth much more than $9.99. He reached in and slipped the collar off the tiger’s neck, stuffed it in his bag, picked up his wagon handle, and began to walk away.                                                                           

 

“Hey!†called the tiger to that sly salesman, “What about my lock picking kit?†At this Sylvester Slywart gave a dry chuckle. “My dear tiger, we both know that if I had given you the kit you would have eaten me on the spot. I have things to do, and I can’t afford to be eaten. But here, I feel bad, I will give you the water bowl and water I told you about earlier, free of charge, and you will not be able to say I am not a charitable gentleman.†And off he walked still chuckling softly, squinting in the sunlight and tugging on his oily black mustache.            

 

 

[crazyforlatin]

Wow, Rose (actually, Shannon) if you keep posting Shannon's writing, everyone will be buying W&R. She's done such a fine job, her voice truly comes through. I love the way she naturally mixes in so many additions to her sentences.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Shannon says thanks!  You made her night!

 

(ETA . . . and mine too!)

[Nicholas_mom]

Nice job, Shannon!

 

I have another question for you, Rose -- I noticed that these books have like 10 lessons.  For the older student (mine starting Grade 6) would 1 week (4 day wk) per lesson sound accurate or does it take longer than a week to do a lesson?  I ask because I wonder if I could do both Narrative 1 & 2 next year.  We finished MCT Town this year.  I would like to do more before doing Essay Voyage.  I also have a natural writer.

 

I noticed you didn't like the lessons on outlines in CAP.  I was thinking of changing this up when we are bored, in the middle of the school year, and doing some WWS for a change of pace.  So, I could do outlines from WWS and others that look good for us and then go back to Narrative 2.

[Chrysalis Academy]

One 4-day week per lesson would be fine for an older student - you might even get it done in 2 or 3 days, if you aren't doing the copywork and dictation.  But yes, easily in 4.  In fact, Narrative 1 I think you could definitely do in 2 or 3 days with a 6th grader.  But it just depends on how long you want to spend each day.  You could totally do both Narrative 1 & 2, plus the first 10 or 11 weeks of WWS where they really focus a lot on summaries, 1-level outlines, and chronological narratives.

 

If it were me, though, I'd complete Narrative 1 & 2 before doing WWS.  The teaching of the outlining in CAP is a little wonky, because outlining stories is different from outlining nonfiction, and it just kind of throws you in at the deep end with 3-level story outlines. But I'd just use the CAP outlining to introduce the idea, it isn't critical to the program at that point.  Then you will really dig into the details of how to do it in WWS.  The other reason I'd do Narrative 2 first is that it introduces a chronological historical narrative, which is what the first part of WWS focuses on, but the passages are much easier.  I think a kid who completed Narrative 2 would transition much more easily into WWS.

[Nicholas_mom]

Thank you, Rose!  What wonderful advice you have.  Yeah! I think I finally gotten writing down for next year!  What a relief. 

 

Now I have to figure out Quantum Physics for next year :huh:     :leaving:

[Chrysalis Academy]

Chreia Lesson 6, 11 year old 7th Grader:

 

King Alfred

 

     King Alfred was the wisest and most admired of England’s kings. He was a learned man who lived by his famous saying, “The saddest thing about a man is that he be ignorant, and the most exciting thing is that he knows.†When he was a boy his mother showed him and his brothers a beautiful book, and told them that the child who could learn to read it could have it as a prize. His brothers scoffed. “Why learn to read?†they asked, “What good is reading?†But Alfred, as soon as he learned that there was something he did not know, raced off to ask a monk to teach him to read. A few months later, Alfred went to his mother and asked to see the book. He opened it with care, and then proceeded to read it aloud, from cover to cover, without making a single mistake. His mother was delighted and asked him where he had learned to read so well. He told his mother he had learned it from a monk. His brothers jeered and told him he would grow up to be one, but his mother kissed him and gave him the wonderful book.

 

            Another way you might state this saying is, “If you don’t know an apple has worms, you are likely to eat them. If you know it has worms, then you can avoid them.â€

 

            King Alfred’s saying reminds us that ignorance can be overcome, while stupidity, defined as willfully making bad choices, cannot. If someone is ignorant, they might do something unwise, purely because they do not know any better. If a smart person tells an ignorant person to rob a bank, they might do it simply because they do not know it is wrong. But if a person is stupid, they might do something unwise even if they know if it is wrong. An ignorant person, if filled in on the facts of right and wrong, would then have a choice. They could choose to be stupid, and do wrong anyway, or they could choose to be wise, and use their knowledge to benefit themselves and others. However, if a person continues to be ignorant, they might go on doing bad things, because they do not know enough to realize what they are doing is wrong.       

 

            A character in literature who does her best to overcome ignorance is Hermione Granger, from the Harry Potter series. Harry’s best friend loves to learn, spends her free time reading books, and is the top of her class in every subject. Always the first to manage even the most difficult spells, Hermione is always on hand to supply information on anything from potion ingredients to the history of Hogwarts. She has such a thirst for knowledge that in her third year she has to apply for a time turner to be able to attend all her classes. Hermione knows that coming from a muggle family has put her a step behind other students, so she works extra hard to overcome her ignorance.

 

            A contrasting character from the same books might be Lord Voldemort, the evil wizard who murdered Harry’s parents when he was a baby, and will not rest until he has done Harry in. Lord Voldemort is dreadfully ignorant about something that you or I might find very simple. He knows nothing about love. Not only does he know nothing about it, he does not want to know anything about it. He has never been loved, so he considers it worthless, beneath him. This is his greatest mistake. He underestimates love, the most powerful kind of magic. Harry can love, giving him a power that Voldemort cannot hope to understand, let alone match. Harry defeats Voldemort using love; he sacrifices himself for his friends, so that Voldemort cannot touch them. Voldemort brings about his own downfall, because of his own, willful, ignorance. He invites Harry to sacrifice himself, giving Harry the tools to destroy him.

 

            Ignorance is a danger, a plague, a peril, a curse. It can affect our whole lives for the worst. However if you know you are ignorant, you can avoid the effects. Ignorance can be overcome, as King Alfred so wisely reminds us. All it takes is knowing that there is something to overcome, and being willing to do it.  

 

 

I have to say, this was a surprisingly challenging assignment.  These Chreia essays are no cakewalk, I'm very happy at the level of thinking they are forcing dd to do.  This was a complete revision of her first effort at the assignment, and while the third paragraph is still kind of convoluted and could be clarified, I was wise enough to let it go and praise the effort, she worked really hard on this.  I had expected we would just race through this book as we did the previous one, but no, there is a lot to learn here.  She's going to work through several more of the Chreia assignments before moving on to more general essay writing. 

 

Any comments welcome!

 

[sagira]

I like it! My 11-year-old 6th grader is working once a week on W&R Narrative II, Book 3. He's enjoying the writing too, which is something he wouldn't usually say. I had him write on the lines, as we have used the samples so far, but I'm considering letting him use his notebook so he doesn't feel constrained and work on stronger, more interesting verbs.

 

Do you recommend getting the teacher's guide?

[Chrysalis Academy]

I bought the teacher's guide for the first two, but I literally never look at it.  I just pick dictation sentences from the passage.  I didn't bother buying it for the last two books.