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Country Girl
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Ds has always been homeschooled, but for a variety of reasons, we are exploring the option of sending him to the private international school for the remaining 2 years we will be in China.  He is currently a 7th grader, but working ahead in a number of his courses.  We had a meeting with the school yesterday to discuss ways to keep ds challenged if he enrolls as an 8th grader this fall, and they suggested we consider skipping 8th grade and enrolling him as a 9th grader.  Since now all of a sudden we are talking high school, we have concerns about how our decision could affect college admissions in addition to all of the maturity and emotional issues.  The details are complex, but here is a quick summary of our options:

 

1. If  he enters as an 8th grader, we have been offered a little bit of flexibility in his course load.  It would slow him down a little from the current trajectory he is on would we continue to homeschool, but it is a compromise we are okay with should we decide to send him to school.  Comparing enrolling him as an 8th grader versus a 9th grade at the private school, his transcript would probably look meatier with this option than if he enters 9th grade this fall because he would essentially have one more year to take higher level courses. 

 

2.  If he enters as a 9th grader, he would be taking almost all of the same classes I have planned for him next year as a homeschooling 8th grader.  So he would be taking the same courses, at exactly the same age and time we currently have planned for him, but he'd be a 9th grader in the private school instead of an 8th grader at home. He would be following the "typical" 9th grade advanced track at this particular school.  So he'd still have the opportunity to take some higher level courses, but wouldn't stand out as much from his peers.

 

This is my oldest, who will only be turning 13 in June, so there are a plethora of thoughts going around in my mind as to whether this is a good idea for him or not.  The first is how skipping a grade may affect him personally.  His thinking level is pretty mature for his age, but his worldly knowledge and street smarts are definitely lacking.  We haven't tried to shelter him, but he is emotionally sensitive and tends to shy away from ideas that threaten him (in his mind).  One of the reasons we are considering sending him to school is so he can be exposed to some of these ideas while he is still living at home in a safe environment.  But high school is a different ball game than 8th grade, and we are a bit worried it could be too much too fast.  However, this is a Christian school in an Asian environment, so I think exposure to these issues should be a little more mild than they would be if we were back in the US (although this may be an issue when we return to the US in 2 years).  Anyone have any BTDT experience they can share as a result of skipping a grade?

 

In addition to the emotional maturity aspects, we are trying to get a better understanding of how this may affect college admissions when the time comes.  He is highly motivated, and is already of the mindset that he wants to set himself up to have a shot at some of the top tier engineering schools (MIT in particular has caught his eye).  We are definitely not trying to push him in that direction at this age, but we are trying to be supportive of that goal while intentionally trying to encourage him to have balance in his life.  With those thoughts in mind, we are still mindful of how colleges might view the end result of the decision we are currently trying to make.  Are colleges going to take into account that he completed high school at a young age (he would turn 17 the June of graduation year), even if that means his transcript might not be as academically jammed packed as other students?  Or are selective schools just looking at the number of AP/Honors/SATII that were completed in high school, regardless of how and when they were completed? 

 

On a somewhat related note, we have also discussed that if he enrolled as a 9th grader this year, we may encourage him to take a gap year before entering college to allow him to age and mature.  This may also give him the opportunity to pursue some of his interests that he may not have as much time for should he enter high school early, particularly pursuing a pilots license.  Does anyone have any thoughts on whether this is a good idea or not?  Do you typically apply to colleges and then request the gap year?  Or is it better to just wait a year after high school before applying?  If he grade skipped, would that have any bearing on taking a gap year? 

 

Thanks to all who read this far, and especially if you have any advice to give!

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I can only share our experience. Ds was homeschooled until haflway through 8th grade. He, too, has a late June birthday. He did not want to homeschool for high school, so in the fall of 8th grade, I started looking around for options. We settled on a public charter school in a nearby town. Because of his ACT score as a 7th grader and because he was pretty accelerated in math (doing Chalkdust Pre-Calc that year), the school wanted to accelerate him and bump him up to halway through 9th grade. We were enrolling him in January because the school had a spot for him at that point in time. He was a bit reluctant to skip, but the GC convinced him he should. I should mention that this particular class has six or seven *other* grade-skips, so it wasn't as though he was the only one, though he is *the* youngest in his class. The school is on true block scheduling which helped, since he wasn't jumping into the middle of classes that had already been going on for a semester. It was absolutely not an issue for him to bump up a grade, and he is now so thankful that he did it.

 

As far as college admissions go, his grade-skip was apparently not an issue either. Honestly, I am not sure they pay any attention to the age unless you bring it up. I don't know that, but his being young did not affect his outcomes. You can check out the list thread, but he was accepted to four top-twenty schools, and will be attending Stanford in the fall. He was rejected at Princeton, but I don't think this was related to his age. He is not taking a gap year. We will see what challenges/issues we face with his being 17 his entire freshman year. I will say that for many structured gap year programs that I have heard of, one must be 18 to participate. I would definitely apply to colleges his senior year and ask for a deferral if he wants to do a gap year. I would NOT wait until he had been out of high school before applying to colleges. It will look odd and make it much more challenging to get teacher and counselor recs, I think.

 

I cannot address your concerns regarding sensitivity. My ds was also not particularly sheltered, but he wasn't worldly either. He was fairly mature as well, but he is not sensitive (likely because his mama is so mean!!).

 

IMO, I would be more concerned that your ds would be bored academically and not have a positive transition to a B&M school. We had a very positive experience with a grade skip. I'm not sure I am following you on why he would appear more middle of the pack, transcript-wise? Is this what you are saying - in terms of rigor? Schools here do not allow for any high school credits to be claimed other than math and foreign language until grade 8.

 

All the best as you go through this decision-making process.

 

ETA: The only "social" issue we had was ds being the last one to drive.

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My DD skipped a grade and will graduate just after turning 17, so I have given these issues some thought. Personal maturity is, of course, personal, and you know your son best.

 

  Are colleges going to take into account that he completed high school at a young age (he would turn 17 the June of graduation year), even if that means his transcript might not be as academically jammed packed as other students?  Or are selective schools just looking at the number of AP/Honors/SATII that were completed in high school, regardless of how and when they were completed?

 

Colleges do not give you any bonus points for grade skipping and being younger. He will have to be competetive in comparison to regular age high school students. If he is aiming at a selective school, he needs the most rigorous coursework and he needs to stand out among 18 and 19 year olds.

 

I don't know anything about gap years.

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My DD skipped a grade and will graduate just after turning 17, so I have given these issues some thought. Personal maturity is, of course, personal, and you know your son best.

 

 

Colleges do not give you any bonus points for grade skipping and being younger. He will have to be competetive in comparison to regular age high school students. If he is aiming at a selective school, he needs the most rigorous coursework and he needs to stand out among 18 and 19 year olds.

 

I don't know anything about gap years.

Agree with Regentrude - your ds is simply going to be compared to other applicants, regardless of age. I don't think being young will either help or hurt him, but he has to be in line with the most rigorous coursework. Well said, Reg!
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I have a kid who was very advanced academically. I wish I could go back and not grade skip. You can supplement to stimulate him intellectually. Or since you are in China use the slow down to take advantage of things you wouldn't have in the states. You can't make him mature emotionally faster. 

 

I'm still dealing with fallout from a kid who wasn't quite ready for the nonintellectual challenges of college. Your experience my be different from mine. 

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My younger son (12yo) has skipped two grades at his b&m school--he skipped 5th upon entry and then skipped 7th.  He is currently in 8th.

 

We skipped him because it was the only way to provide him with any academic challenge at all.  He is the kind of kid who gets very upset if work is too easy (of course he also gets upset if work is too hard, so you can't win), so we couldn't just put him in his age-grade and let him coast.

 

What we have discovered is that he is *still* not being challenged intellectually but the executive function demands are boarding in too much.  It seems that the less the teacher has in the way of executive functioning him/herself, the more that is required of the students. 

 

Socially things have been just ok.  Part of this is because the school is so small that the pool of potential friends in miniscule (for example, there are only five boys in the 8th grade), and part of it is that he is a just turned 12yo in with 8th graders, some of whom are approaching 15. 

 

But to get to your question about early college entry...  We have decided to homeschool him for at least the next year (and possibly the next two) and call it a gap year.  I will document our homeschooling activities as though he were in high school just in case we decide down the road that early graduation is the best thing.  But we won't know what to do on that front until the time comes.

 

For the past two years we have decided what is best for our son only for the upcoming year while trying to make decisions that will keep his options open down the line.

 

If your son can enroll in 8th grade and take high school courses for high school credit, honestly, I'd strongly consider that option.  Since it sounds like he will not graduate from this school, he could potentially have junior standing at the end of his two years there, which might allow him to graduate from your homeschool or another school a year early, but he wouldn't be obligated to.

 

My older son has a June birthday and was never red-shirted.  He started at the community college when he was 16.  We decided to give him an extra year to graduate for a number of reasons, and I am so glad we did (even though it will make college applications a little challenging).  He will be 18 in June and has a year to go at the CC and only now am I seeing an inkling of the maturity he'll need to be successful at a four year school.  This kid started high school level coursework across the board at age 12 (age 10 in math).

 

The problem with decisions like these is that you don't have all the information you need to know what will be best for the kid four years from now.  That person doesn't exist yet.  The best you can do is make a decision that is right for *now* that doesn't eliminate too many options down the road.

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If your son can enroll in 8th grade and take high school courses for high school credit, honestly, I'd strongly consider that option.  Since it sounds like he will not graduate from this school, he could potentially have junior standing at the end of his two years there, which might allow him to graduate from your homeschool or another school a year early, but he wouldn't be obligated to.

If he's not going to stay at the school for 4 years, you'll have some flexibility about when he graduates. If you go back to hsing after coming back to the US, you can decide then whether this year was high school or not. If it wasn't, he'll have an extra year to do APs or dual enrollment classes and have a more competitive application. You wouldn't have to count any credits from this year, just use them as prereqs for his high school classes. The grades wouldn't enter into his GPA. This gives you the flexibility to try the high school classes out and see how he does with them.

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When it comes to college admissions, a younger age does not offset a less impressive resume. Nobody is gong to say that Applicant A has done X,Y and Z and Applicant B has only done X and Y but Applicant B is only 16 and must be really smart so let's accept him.

 

But having said that, I would not make a decision about my child's schooling now because I think that in 4 or 5 years he might want to apply to a very selective school. A school like MIT (or any of the other super selectives) is a lottery entrance school. There's no guarantee that your child's age will have any impact on the final results. And there is no guarantee that your child will want to go to a super selective, go into engineering, or that the finances will line up appropriately when the day comes.

 

I agree with the above posters. I would do what seems like the best fit for the child right now. Looking at just next year, which placement would work the best for your son?

 

Added: as far as the actual particulars about applying to college at a young age (and I'm talking about younger than 16) the only potential problem we found was with schools that require freshmen to live in dorms. That was the only time age was an issue. Most of the schools responded by saying that they would either grant an exemption for a much younger student to live off campus (with a relative or family friend type of arrangement) or that they would put the student in a single room.

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This is an interesting subject to which I've devoted a lot of thought. You'll get a variety of replies (& already have!), and of course will have to do what's right in your case. There are people on this board who have moved a previously grade-skipped child back with his or her age-peers, and vice versa, even during high school. The bottom line is that it will *not* help with college admissions, as Regentrude said. And you know your son best, and he will grow and mature in ways you might not expect over the next few years.

 

I skipped a grade (K->1) and didn't turn 18 until spring of my freshman year; the only real biggie was that I couldn't vote in the presidential elections fall of my freshman year, but it turned out that many, many of my classmates (mostly girls, & mostly Asian or part-Asian) had been grade-skipped. (This was at a selective school, Stanford; I mention this b/c you say your son may aim for selective schools and b/c you are in China :) ) I know I was absolutely ready for college and throughout my K-12 education was continually grateful I had skipped.

 

My son also was skipped up to 1st grade by his public school (we started homeschooling the following year). He is headed to college this fall, and won't turn 18 until spring of his freshman year, but he is itching to go and partake of the rich intellectual offerings, plus I consider him mature enough. Would he have had more success in various arenas (e.g., high-school competitions) if he had been a year older? Definitely ... and yes, I did consider "holding him back" several times during HS so he wouldn't be at a disadvantage.

 

Many, many kids are advanced, so as Regentrude says, it will not be an advantage in terms of college admission. He'll be competing with 18yos and 19yos. My son has several friends (from math camp) who have Chinese-immigrant parents and are quite young ... One girl started high school at age 12 (bday is March) and was accepted early-decision to Yale; she'll attend there this coming fall and won't turn 17 until March of her freshman year. She is a very mature, grounded, smart girl. Another boy we know left high school after 11th grade (we're not sure if he had skipped or not) and went straight to MIT.

 

So I guess in a muddled way I'm saying that selective colleges are used to highly advanced young applicants, *and* that most applicants are of 'normal' age with that extra year or two of accomplishments ...

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My daughter skipped 8th when she entered public school.  She turned 14 in February and is in 9th grade.  Cut-off here is 9/1 so she's about 5 1/2 months younger than the next youngest kids.  So far it's been great.  Most people think she is even older than she is because of her maturity level and academic abilities.  She does MUN and is usually assumed to be a sophomore or junior based on things she says and responses she gives and the way she acts.  It's worked well for her.  I don't worry about her at all going to college at 17 rather than 18.

 

My brother skipped half of 3rd and half of 4th.  His birthday is in September.  Cut-offs back then were 12/31 where we lived so he was almost 9 whole months younger than the next youngest kids.  He was tiny until he was 16 so he looked physically much younger than the other kids.  He was very immature as well.  He went 6 hours from home for college.  He was 16 when he left, turned 17 about a month later.  It was a very bad experience.  He was not ready for the college atmosphere.  He was not ready to be that far from home.  He also picked a major that he shouldn't have.  My parents begged him to pick something in humanities, but he insisted on engineering (after he flunked out of his first year, he switched his major to linguistics and had great success at that).  Granted, all this could have happened if he turned 18 right after the beginning of his first year of college, particularly with the bad major choice issue, but I do think being a year younger did contribute.

 

I was homeschooled and went to college full time when I would have been a senior in high school.  I turned 18 in April that year.  It was fabulous for me.  I was ready emotionally and academically.  I did great.  Like has been said, being younger is not an advantage *at all.*  It could be a disadvantage, actually, due to experiences like my brother had.

 

Only you can know your son.  I wouldn't hesitate to allow my daughter to grade skip all over again.  My mom says she shouldn't have skipped my brother (he was immature even back then - though I think it is easier to see at 13 if it might be an issue than at 8).

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Trust your gut.  At the end of the day, it's the only thing you can do.  You and your child will have to live with the consequences of any decision you make, so pick the one that you believe will have the best outcome in your particular situation.  And have a Plan B ready if things don't go as well as you expected.

 

We faced this choice.  I'm glad we chose the way we did.  Whether we made the right choice didn't become clear to us until upperclass years in university.

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My daughter went from 8th grade to 10th grade.  It was her idea, but we felt she could handle it, and she fit right in.  The nice thing about it is that it gave her a year between high school and the typical college entrance age to do something really different without feeling like she was getting behind.  She took a gap year and attended a French immersion school in France for a semester, and then earned a Rotary placement with a family in France for the second part of the year.  She became fluent in French during that year abroad and when she did go to college the following year, she was able to pass out of all of the French level classes and she received a French scholarship as well.  Also, because she had graduated from high school a year early, she was still starting college at the same age as most of the other students.

 

So, in her case it gave her an extra year to do something really different that actually helped her college application.

 

I wish I had done the same for our son.   He did fine with the path he was on, but I think he would have benefited from a path like my daughter's.

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Having one graduating and one in college I suggest you place him in the best place for him, now. At 13 and in school that is usually what works best peer wise. You are all on college trajectory whatever you do. And there is no way to know what he will want to do in 3, 4 or 5 years from now. 

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Thank you everyone who shared their experience and wisdom.  It is really helpful to hear how you have all handled the situation and your perspectives in hindsight.  I particularly appreciate the gentle reminder that I need to relax, and take things one year at a time.  We have talked to the guidance counselor at the school and are waiting to hear back from her about a few more questions we had.  Hopefully, armed with the good advice here and a little more info from the school, the best thing for ds this fall will become clear.

 

Thanks! 

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I regret not grade accelerating my daughter. I know, I have complained about some of her behavior. But fact is, personality does not change by making someone wait a year. Plus, in her case, she has spent the year taking all AP courses and doing senior out (meaning she takes less than a full load) and now it seems, many of the AP classes won't even transfer. The extra year did not raise  her AP scores nor did it help her get a better idea to what she wanted to do. It did not change her personality, which seems to be something parents often expect by holding a child back. On the negative side, what it did do was leave her completely unchallenged and she is getting lazy in school while earning high grades. I am afraid she will lose her past good study habits for next year. 

 

When my daughter did return to public school, she was so far ahead that they offered to accelerate her a grade, which was a rare thing for students to be offered. I said no. Boy do I regret that! She has spent junior and senior year with her only math being what I paid to outsource (through EPGY, which was an expensive option) and a year of AP chemistry because the way the schools worked with how far ahead she was of grade level, nothing else could fit in. I feel like she ended up academically screwed. She used to be completely STEM steered, but now, she has been left with a lack of science and math in her last two years, due to being ahead, that she is losing her skills, and I think, her interest.

 

So yeah, I would put him where his skills match. I would not hold him back because as a parent, we would like to see our children home longer, nor would I ever hold a child back again, thinking it will give them an edge. It won't. All it does is leave them with the same education, but spread out over more years, so really, less of it each year, which makes them lose their edge.

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If he's not going to stay at the school for 4 years, you'll have some flexibility about when he graduates. If you go back to hsing after coming back to the US, you can decide then whether this year was high school or not. If it wasn't, he'll have an extra year to do APs or dual enrollment classes and have a more competitive application. You wouldn't have to count any credits from this year, just use them as prereqs for his high school classes. The grades wouldn't enter into his GPA. This gives you the flexibility to try the high school classes out and see how he does with them.

I was wondering if you, or someone else, can expand on this a bit. If he enrolls as a 9th grader this year and completes 9-10 at the private school, and the we return to homeschooling when we move back to the US in 2 years, are you saying we could call his 9th grade year at the private school 8th grade? How would that work as far as submitting transcripts to colleges? Won't the school transcripts have grade designations on them? Would it look like he was repeating a high school grade?

 

Thanks!

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I was wondering if you, or someone else, can expand on this a bit. If he enrolls as a 9th grader this year and completes 9-10 at the private school, and the we return to homeschooling when we move back to the US in 2 years, are you saying we could call his 9th grade year at the private school 8th grade? How would that work as far as submitting transcripts to colleges? Won't the school transcripts have grade designations on them? Would it look like he was repeating a high school grade?

 

Thanks!

Colleges will want to see the last four years. You could submit transcripts from your homeschool listing the courses as taken before 9th grade. If you want to submit the ps transcript, you could note that it was his 8th grade year by age in your counselor's letter (which you write as the "school" guidance counselor for your homeschool). It's not unusual for students to take high school classes in middle school, but they don't count toward the high school GPA. The classes that do give advanced placement in high school are math, foreign language and science. It shouldn't look odd if he takes the next courses in those sequences. For example, he'll take Alg 1 and Geometry at the private school and continue with Alg 2 in your homeschool.

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