Growing Squeamish / Losing Your Nerve with Age?

[mom2bee]

Has anyone else, almost inexplicably, lost their daring with age? I'm not talking much later like after you've had possibly several lifestyle/environmental changes or anything, I mean like...at 21 or 25 when you haven't really gone far in life and you are still supposed to be very youth-foolish? Its not like I've moved away from the environment or anything. I've lived here virtually all my life and I still do but I find that I have...anxiety or hesitations about doing stuff that I wouldn't have done before. As a kid, I knew the risks--actually understood them, not just 'in theory'--and still did plenty of stuff in the name of fun (and stupidity) anyway.

 

Not anymore though. Its been kind of gradual, I guess, maybe over the last several years, that I've been losing my nerve more and more. For example, I can't see myself capturing a snake anymore when I realize that I'd done so before without even really thinking about it. I would never ride on a motorcycle/moped for fear of falling and killing myself. I grew up riding on the back of my dads friends motorcycle from time to time and I remember enjoying it.

 

 

Is this common? Did this happen to you? Around what age? Is this what it means to 'mellow' with age? If so, I hate it...

[Pegasus]

I'm not talking about over the hill, like 40yo or anything,

 

First of all, the quote above is not going to garner you much affection from many of us on these boards. :crying:

 

If your username is an indication of the place in your life, I think that explains your different approach to life. It makes a HUGE difference when what you do affects your offpspring.

[Jennifer in MI]

Honestly - my kids make me much braver than I ever was as a kid!!!  I've done things I never would have done as a young whipper snapper.  (I'm in my 40s.  So, over the hill)  And, I'm much happier and think I'm a much more confident person because of it!

 

My kids have talked me into such fun things as parasailing, bungee jumping, rock climbing (not wimpy rocks - the HUGE ones!), surfing, swimming with dolphins, etc, etc, etc.  It's fun!

 

[mom2bee]

First of all, the quote above is not going to garner you much affection from many of us on these boards. :crying:

 

If your username is an indication of the place in your life, I think that explains your different approach to life. It makes a HUGE difference when what you do affects your offpspring.

I'm sorry, I edited it. Apparently I'm still young enough to be a total idiot sometimes. My sincere apologies, Pegasus.

[Rose in BC]

Life's circumstances have subjected me to things I never would have encountered in my twenties. Now as an "over the hiller" I've experienced, and survived many scary things.

[Tmhearn]

I think what you're describing is called getting common sense. ;-)

[Critterfixer]

Actually, I think it is just the opposite for me.

I'm much more willing to be daring (and somewhat foolish) as I get older. 

Just this morning I attempted to open my new swarm without a veil or gloves, or anything. Turns out, I smelled a bit too much like the swarm I was trying to take from one of my other hives. I ended up racing for the house, balled up in bees, yelling for my son to "RUN!" Sustained two stings to my neck! And had to suit up and get right back on that horse because I couldn't leave that hive open. And issue an apology to my girls for having been so rude!

Hurts like **** but what a rush!

 

Back in my younger, more prudent days I doubt I'd have had the courage to even mess with a bee.

 

I got chickens, which means handling snakes on a regular basis. I've even got myself a snake pole.

 

I'm terrified of grasshoppers, but with the insect study we did last year, I'm now begging to have our meadow in the front yard again for more study. We actually brought grasshoppers in the house. In a jar, but I could hold the jar, and for me, that is a huge step.

 

Kind of scares me to think what I might be doing as the years go by.

[Happy]

A few years ago I had a complete meltdown while traveling in an unfamiliar city. My dh wanted me to drive by myself a pretty short distance and I. couldn't. do. it. Totally overwhelmed me and shocked him. We realized that I hadn't traveled to unfamiliar places in several years and I was very out of practice.

 

So...now I make it a practice to do something kinda scary every year. Hopefully several times a year. Before I started in real estate, that meant traveling somewhere during the year. I also push myself to rapple down a canyon wall from time to time--that is scary for me and makes me feel tough. Now that I am in business, I get to do unfamiliar and scary things all the time. That's good for me.

 

So...my thoughts are that hormone shifts as we age make us not as brave sometimes. We must use our brains to determine if that's smart or being too safe.

 

I remember a Star Trek, Next Gen episode where the lady doc realized the ship was in a ever shrinking bubble. People and parts of the ship kept disappearing--smaller and smaller until just the room she was in was left. I've used those thoughts to remind myself not to LET my world get into a slowly shrinking bubble. As long as I can I want to keep pushing the boundaries of my bubble--doing things that make my heart beat a little faster, that kick some adrenaline into my system, make the hair on my neck stand up.

 

  :coolgleamA:

 

 

[ChristusG]

I totally know what you mean. I've never been a dare devil or anything. But I did ride faster, bigger amusement park rides (never been a fan of huge, scary ones but I would ride mild coasters and spinning rides). And I raced BMX bikes pre-kids. And I was never really anxious about things.

 

But I really think my mindset changed after I had kids. I think having kids has made me more cautious.....because I wouldn't want to cause harm to myself that would effect how I raised them. For example, I wouldn't want to leave them motherless. Or I wouldn't want to break my leg racing BMX because it would hinder my ability to care for them.

[zoobie]

There is a large body of research on adolescent risk-taking behavior. Developmentally, people grow out of that stage at a range of ages. Knowing the risks theoretically doesn't stop many adolescents from engaging in risky behavior because they don't comprehend that the risks would actually happen to them. Interesting research if you want to delve into it further.

[Pod's mum]

Yep and it's not age related.

I was late-ish 20s and just pregnant with my eldest and suddenly didn't enjoy corners on my motorbike.

It was my only transport and up 'til then I had loved it, particularly laying into steep corners.

Then suddenly I was mortal and needed to avoid death to be a parent.

 

I've since turned down a couple of offers of being a pillion (passenger).

When my youngest is older I will be interested in seeing if I could recapture that enjoyment from the other side side of that hill.    ;)

 

 

[hillfarm]

When I was younger, in my 20's and 30's, I used to love to do adventurous things, such as whitewater rafting on extreme rivers, skydiving, hot air ballooning, scuba diving, rock climbing, storm chasing, etc. I loved heights and excitement. But it all changed somewhere along the line after I had my dd. I didn't notice it until about 10 years after she was born, but all of a sudden, rafting seemed stupidly dangerous. I nearly had a panic attack when I went to trapeze school with her. I found it really, incredibly, extremely hard to let go and jump off the platform to zipline.

 

It really bothered me to think that I had somehow lost a big part of who I am somewhere along the way. I did make myself do a few "extreme" activities, just to be sure I still could. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid now when I do them. I never felt fearful in the past.

 

So...I don't know what happened. Change in brain chemistry? Got more common sense? Mommy hormones/desire to protect my dd kicked in? All I know is that I no longer love what I once loved very much. I had a very hard time coming to terms with that. But I finally had to give up and accept that it is what it is and dwelling on it hasn't seemed to change anything. I loved my pre-dd life and have many fond memories of it. But I have had to accept that I am a different person now, and one that is much less daring.

[Garga]

I've always been very cautious, even as a child. I figured I just had a better imagination than most and could foresee painful outcomes when others couldn't. ;)

[Vida Winter]

I'm cautious but started skiing this year after a 20+ year break. :scared:

[Retired]

Has anyone else, almost inexplicably, lost their daring with age? I'm not talking much later like after you've had possibly several lifestyle/environmental changes or anything, I mean like...at 21 or 25 when you haven't really gone far in life and you are still supposed to be very youth-foolish? Its not like I've moved away from the environment or anything. I've lived here virtually all my life and I still do but I find that I have...anxiety or hesitations about doing stuff that I wouldn't have done before. As a kid, I knew the risks--actually understood them, not just 'in theory'--and still did plenty of stuff in the name of fun (and stupidity) anyway.

 

Not anymore though. Its been kind of gradual, I guess, maybe over the last several years, that I've been losing my nerve more and more. For example, I can't see myself capturing a snake anymore when I realize that I'd done so before without even really thinking about it. I would never ride on a motorcycle/moped for fear of falling and killing myself. I grew up riding on the back of my dads friends motorcycle from time to time and I remember enjoying it.

 

 

Is this common? Did this happen to you? Around what age? Is this what it means to 'mellow' with age? If so, I hate it...

 

Well I'm over 40 and I missed the remark before you edited it LOL.  It wouldn't of bother me cause I would said the same thing 20 years ago.   I was much more adventurous before having kids.   I wasn't afraid of a thing life was full of possibility.  I lost part of that when I became a mother.  I became concerned over every dang thing.   I'm now a mother of  a 20 year old and 17 year old guys.  I've decided being over cautious and always worrying has made me a dang boring person.  I'm ready to hit the wind of my dh's Harley something I haven't done since kids.

 

I think its all about personality.  I had a kid at 23 when I still wanted to be foot loose and fancy free.  I'll never get that girl back but I'm trying to find her again .  

 

I wish that I could of been one of those women that could still be fun and not all mom.  I just couldn't separate the 2 parts of myself.  I am also a nurse so seeing all that human do to themselves made me even more of a worry wart. 

 

I think some comes with age because you realize that you aren't going to live for ever.  I think that comes earlier when you get married  or have children young.  I know 30 year olds that seem wild and dang free but I'm guessing I would of been that way had I had kids later.  My dh sure wanted to old me back not the one worried about motor cycle accidents and not wanted to leave my kid with no parents.  

 

I think for you the op its perfectly normal to start being more cautious  as we get older.  I think that's gonna happen as we start to see how short life really is.  I now have grown kids and have a lot of introspective what the heck have I done with my life, what have I missed etc. 

 

[Happy]

I'm cautious but started skiing this year after a 20+ year break. :scared:

 

Atta girl! I skied again recently after a decade. I was not as strong as I used to be, a little more cautious, but still out there. Fun!

 

Ten years ago, while I was in my middle 40s...pause to reflect how quickly time flies--sigh....I broke my arm ice skating. During the weeks that followed many people commented on my pretty purple cast. Those OVER 40 wagged their finger in my face and said 'no more ice skating.' Those UNDER 40 said 'Wrist guards next time.'

 

I thought those were interesting reactions...

[itsheresomewhere]

Are you the poster who also takes care of your siblings including educating them and lives at home?  If so, I remember a few of your posts.  I would suggest a physical if you haven't had one recently and talk to your doctor about what is going on.  It could be just getting common sense but it could be anxiety or depression starting to take ahold of your life.  If you are the same poster, some of your posts indicated a good amount of stress.  I would hate for you to just sweep it under the rug thinking this is normal as I age when you could have gotten help for it.  

[Cera]

Sort of.  There are a lot of risks that I used to take (pre-kids) that I will no longer take or am more hesitant to take and spend a lot more time thinking about.  Just this afternoon I was 20 feet up a ladder balanced on a tree and came down to adjust it when it started to tip.  Pre-kids I would have shrugged it off and kept going but now I think about having to care for kids with injuries or what will happen to them if I really screw up and am no longer around.