No-shoes houses in sandal weather

[marbel]

Going to someone's house tonight and I'm not sure they are a shoes-off house or not.  I think it is fine, of course, for people to request no shoes in the house. But as a guest I have a dilemma.

 

I really despise going about barefoot.  I don't like bare feet in my house either.  I think bare feet can be worse than shoes (not always, but there are warts, infections, etc). Of course if a guest comes over and takes off shoes and has no socks on, I don't scold them.  But ick. 

 

So, it's sandal weather and I was thinking of wearing a summer skirt and sandals.  Would you take socks to put on, which will look stupid with the skirt, or just wear black pants with black socks even though it looks too wintry for the weather?  Typically at home I wear white athletic socks but that will look too casual even with pants. 

 

Weird question, I know. But I can't be the only person who doesn't know what to wear on the feet in a shoes-off house. 

 

 

[poppy]

I'd wear black pants to avoid making your sock-wearing conspicuous.

I'm with you, I don't like being told to go barefoot in someone else's home.

[Happy]

I'd take whatever socks were the most comfy in my purse (or car). Then if I were expected to take off my cute sandals that match my outfit I'd slip on the socks--whether they matched or not.

[momto10blessings]

I'd wear the skirt and bring socks to put on when taking the sandals off

[Outdoorsy Type]

I would bring socks or ballet style house shoes and wear the skirt.

[bolt.]

I'd say, "Do you mind if I leave my sandals on? I'd be more comfortable that way, if its all the same to you."

 

Being Canadian, no one I know could possibly say no to that, unless the sandals were terribly muddy or something. (Some cultures my feel more strongly.)

 

Often the shoe thing is just a habit. Most people, like you, don't actually mind so very much if someone doesn't abide by their mild preference.

[justasque]

Would you take socks to put on, which will look stupid with the skirt...

Get out your sewing machine and some cute fabric that matches the outfit you plan to wear, then whip up a pair of house slippers.  (You can use this free pattern, or this one, or better yet this one, or you could knit some then felt them, but it might be a little late for that.) Take them with you in your bag, then, if it's a shoes-off house, slip off your shoes and put on your cute slippers.

[Laura Corin]

I'd take a pair of slippers, if it concerns you.

 

L

[MercyA]

I wear skirts every day and often find myself in this same situation.  I bring socks along in my purse.  I would rather be comfortable than impeccably stylish.  :001_smile:

 

Stop at a Walmart or Target and pick up some low-cut socks.  They are less conspicuous than crew-type socks.

[Arcadia]

We are a no shoes house. We do have a stash of new $1 house slippers by the door for guests if they prefer to wear something. My MIL wear house slippers and my FIL prefers barefoot.
Shoe dirt is hard to clean off the carpet in my living room which is why hubby has the no shoes rule.

[EmilyGF]

My German friend either brings a spare pair of socks or a pair of "house sandals" (usually cheap imitation Birks). I've started doing this, too, and it makes life easier!

[soufflegirl]

I'd wear the sandals and then bring a pair of quirky socks. If you're not going to match with the skirt, might as well be quirky about it, lol. Or else stop somewhere like Target and get those super low cut socks you can wear with ballet flats.

[Ivey]

We're a "no shoes" house, but I don't ask adult guests to take their shoes off, so I don't think you'll have an issue, but I'd wear sandals and bring a pair of ankle socks just in case. I do this whenever I go out to dinner and then back to a friend's house for dessert, and so far no one has had a problem with me wearing a cocktail dress and pastel ankle socks. :)

 

 

[Myeightkiddies]

Unless it is a cultural thing, I'm sure most will be fine with any socks, slippers, sandals, etc. that are new or not worn outside. 

[SemiSweet]

We are a no shoes house, dh is half Korean and we live in Hawaii so it is definitely the norm here although not in my own family. When my family visits they know we don't do shoes and we have a sign by the door but I don't say anything to people who chose not to remove their shoes. It's not a huge deal to me. I would just take socks and not worry about it, but I prefer being barefoot pretty much all the time so maybe I'm not the best give advice. :)

[mamaraby]

No shoes house here and we all my family members have no shoes house - we just bring house shoes with. When we went to my parents house to help them unpack from their move, we just brought the family's house shoes (crocs) along in a bag.

[poppy]

I'd say, "Do you mind if I leave my sandals on? I'd be more comfortable that way, if its all the same to you."

 

Being Canadian, no one I know could possibly say no to that, unless the sandals were terribly muddy or something. (Some cultures my feel more strongly.)

 

Often the shoe thing is just a habit. Most people, like you, don't actually mind so very much if someone doesn't abide by their mild preference.

 

If they ask you to take off your shoes, then I don't think it's OK to refuse, or to try to force the issue. Unless there is a medical concern like planter fis...... (that condition whose name I always forget but involves it being very painful to walk barefoot) AND house shoes are not an option. Some people feel very strongly about this .

[Rose in BC]

I always take slipper...ballet type that are easy to stash in purse and look reasonably decent.

[Jamee]

I live in Japan, where every house is a no-shoes house.  In the summer, or rainy season, I always make sure to have a pair of socks with me.  I got a set of really cute, cheap ones just for that reason, and I think every bag I have has a pair of socks in them.

[Myeightkiddies]

No shoes house here and we all my family members have no shoes house - we just bring house shoes with. When we went to my parents house to help them unpack from their move, we just brought the family's house shoes (crocs) along in a bag.

 

 

My DH wears Crocs as house shoes.  His feet hurt if he doesn't wear anything, and Crocs are comfortable for him in the house.  For Christmas, I purchased him a fleece/fur-lined pair of Crocs for inside the house.  

[Danestress]

When I read a thread like this, I wonder if part of the reason Americans have foot problems is we do wear shoes all the time. Honestly, I couldn't stay in a house where I couldn't wear my shoes with the amount of arch support I need. I would have to apologize and leave, it would not be worth the pain.

 

I could when I was 20 and living in Japan, and I don't remember people there having a arch problem without shoes (although maybe I just didn't pay attention). I know my chiropractor has encouraged me to stretch and strengthen my feet and to try to go shoeless for short periods, and perhaps this is part of it - maybe be people like me have enabled our feet not to tolerate going shoeless.

 

But in any case, I can't. Sad, I know. No one in the states has asked me to, and I don't think I could do it for more than a few minutes even to be polite.

[marbel]

Well the event has come and gone, and I was prepared with socks but everyone was shod.

 

For summer I'm going to get some cute socks to keep in my purse for such happenings though.  I don't mind taking off my shoes and I know a lot of people do request it.  I just don't like to be taken by surprise - here in the States it is not a universal thing as it is some places.  In the winter when there are sure to be socks it's not a problem at all but I was thinking about it today as I contemplated my sandals.

 

I do think it's nice when people warn ahead of time, or have socks for people.  We went to a party once where the hosts provided flip flops for all, but none of them fit my husband, who wears size 15 shoes.  We got the impression they were annoyed with him for having big feet....  :lol:   

 

Thanks for all the responses... and the slipper patterns! :001_smile:

[Stacia]

A side note (because I remember a heated topic about removing shoes in winter, lol)...

 

If you are a no-shoes house & want your guests to do the same, please speak up & say so at the door.

 

We wear our shoes in our house & I am not offended if someone has a no shoes policy, but it doesn't naturally occur to me to take off my shoes at the door. I'd much prefer to be told to take off my shoes, rather than come on in & later realize that everyone else is not shod & I feel awkward & weird for not having removed my shoes in the first place.

 

Just my little PSA from those of us who are used to wearing shoes...

[Anne]

We are a no-shoes house, and most people in my area have no-shoes homes.  I just take my house shoes with me and put them on inside. 

 

Anne

[KungFuPanda]

House shoes or those little socks that look like ballet flats. Actually, real ballet slippers are a great solution for this. You can get them in several colors, wear them with or without socks, and since the sole is no good for outdoor wear, your host can feel confident that they are only worn inside. They're comfortable too.

[solascriptura]

Going to someone's house tonight and I'm not sure they are a shoes-off house or not. I think it is fine, of course, for people to request no shoes in the house. But as a guest I have a dilemma.

 

I really despise going about barefoot. I don't like bare feet in my house either. I think bare feet can be worse than shoes (not always, but there are warts, infections, etc). Of course if a guest comes over and takes off shoes and has no socks on, I don't scold them. But ick.

 

So, it's sandal weather and I was thinking of wearing a summer skirt and sandals. Would you take socks to put on, which will look stupid with the skirt, or just wear black pants with black socks even though it looks too wintry for the weather? Typically at home I wear white athletic socks but that will look too casual even with pants.

 

Weird question, I know. But I can't be the only person who doesn't know what to wear on the feet in a shoes-off house.

It's fine to slip on a pair of socks.

[solascriptura]

"I don't like bare feet in my house either. I think bare feet can be worse than shoes (not always, but there are warts, infections, etc). Of course if a guest comes over and takes off shoes and has no socks on, I don't scold them. But ick."

 

 

I'm truly perplexed by the thought process in the original post. I always have been. Most people don't have infections, but we all know what people step on outside with their shoes on. Even if you wipe your feet on a mat, residual dirt, feces, gum, and who knows what else is still on them.

 

Anyone care to explain the original thought? Not being snarky. I truly don't understand.

[solascriptura]

I'd say, "Do you mind if I leave my sandals on? I'd be more comfortable that way, if its all the same to you."

 

Being Canadian, no one I know could possibly say no to that, unless the sandals were terribly muddy or something. (Some cultures my feel more strongly.)

 

Often the shoe thing is just a habit. Most people, like you, don't actually mind so very much if someone doesn't abide by their mild preference.

For many it's not a mild preference, but deeply cultural. If they ask, please don't refuse since it will be viewed as deeply offense.

[marbel]

"I don't like bare feet in my house either. I think bare feet can be worse than shoes (not always, but there are warts, infections, etc). Of course if a guest comes over and takes off shoes and has no socks on, I don't scold them. But ick."

 

 

I'm truly perplexed by the thought process in the original post. I always have been. Most people don't have infections, but we all know what people step on outside with their shoes on. Even if you wipe your feet on a mat, residual dirt, feces, gum, and who knows what else is still on them.

 

Anyone care to explain the original thought? Not being snarky. I truly don't understand.

 

You are correct, that most people don't have infections, athlete's foot, etc, though some do.  And of course it is true that shoes may have nasty things on them; in summer people's feet may have nasty things on them too because of wearing sandals or going barefoot outdoors.    I have read that the oils in bare feet may be bad for carpet but I don't know if I even believe that to be true. 

 

So, I just have to leave it at this:  I simply don't like it.  So, I don't go barefoot in other homes and while I would rather people not go barefoot in mine, I don't do or say anything about it if they fling off their sandals at the door. 

 

Maybe I'm just odd that way, though I do know some others who feel the same way about bare feet.   

[kiwik]

Here there is a reasonable chance of it being cultural and bare feet are fairly common anyway (especially in children). I don't wear strappy sandals so it has never been a problem. I do find slip ons more convenient these days though (the shoeless thing is more prevalent than it used to be). We usually take our shoes off inside but there is no cultural reason and I don't really care that much we just do it to simplify things for the kids.

[shawthorne44]

When I read a thread like this, I wonder if part of the reason Americans have foot problems is we do wear shoes all the time. Honestly, I couldn't stay in a house where I couldn't wear my shoes with the amount of arch support I need. I would have to apologize and leave, it would not be worth the pain.

 

I could when I was 20 and living in Japan, and I don't remember people there having a arch problem without shoes (although maybe I just didn't pay attention). I know my chiropractor has encouraged me to stretch and strengthen my feet and to try to go shoeless for short periods, and perhaps this is part of it - maybe be people like me have enabled our feet not to tolerate going shoeless.

 

But in any case, I can't. Sad, I know. No one in the states has asked me to, and I don't think I could do it for more than a few minutes even to be polite.

 

I think you are right.  I used to need orthodics and walking more than 20 feet barefoot would cause this snapping pain in my feet.  Once I felt the snap, I had to hobble to a chair and sit for a bit.  Then I started to wear Dr. Scholls wooden sandals, and then slowly I was able to go barefoot.  Now, I wear black satin ballet-style slippers at work, and barefoot at home.  My big toes point straight-forward and my little toes now touch the ground whereas before they "were on vacation" in the words of my podiatrist.  

[solascriptura]

You are correct, that most people don't have infections, athlete's foot, etc, though some do. And of course it is true that shoes may have nasty things on them; in summer people's feet may have nasty things on them too because of wearing sandals or going barefoot outdoors. I have read that the oils in bare feet may be bad for carpet but I don't know if I even believe that to be true.

 

So, I just have to leave it at this: I simply don't like it. So, I don't go barefoot in other homes and while I would rather people not go barefoot in mine, I don't do or say anything about it if they fling off their sandals at the door.

 

Maybe I'm just odd that way, though I do know some others who feel the same way about bare feet.

Okay, I see that it is just a preference. I guess I just disagree when people say that wearing outdoor shoes in the house is cleaner than going barefoot.

 

It's true that if going barefoot outside or sandals will make bare feet equally dirty, but we wash our visibly dirty feet when entering the house. :)

 

Like you, I doubt that "foot oils" damage carpets. The shoeless homes I know have very clean carpets and floors for years. There was No to replace carpets for a very long time.

[marbel]

Okay, I see that it is just a preference. I guess I just disagree when people say that wearing outdoor shoes in the house is cleaner than going barefoot.

 

It's true that if going barefoot outside or sandals will make bare feet equally dirty, but we wash our visibly dirty feet when entering the house. :)

 

Like you, I doubt that "foot oils" damage carpets. The shoeless homes I know have very clean carpets and floors for years. There was No to replace carpets for a very long time.

 

I should have been more clear in my OP that I was thinking about spring summer when people are wearing sandals or going barefoot.  My bad. ;)

 

I'm not trying to be picky or argumentative but re: the bolded, how does that work if you are a guest in someone's home?   If I come to your house in sandals, and you want me to take my shoes off, but my feet are dirty, how would I wash them?    Do you keep a basin of water and towels and such by the door?  I guess that sounds snarky but I don't mean to be.  I just don't see how that actually works. 

 

In any case, I would never argue with someone about taking off my shoes.  If people don't want shoes in the house, that is fine.  I do know people who would have a hard time having to take off their shoes.  My  mother could  never have done that because of foot problems.  She would have had to carry extra shoes that had never been worn outdoors everywhere she went.  Maybe people do that. Obviously I am pretty clueless on this topic; I guess most people I know don't have a preference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[solascriptura]

I should have been more clear in my OP that I was thinking about spring summer when people are wearing sandals or going barefoot. My bad. ;)

 

I'm not trying to be picky or argumentative but re: the bolded, how does that work if you are a guest in someone's home? If I come to your house in sandals, and you want me to take my shoes off, but my feet are dirty, how would I wash them? Do you keep a basin of water and towels and such by the door? I guess that sounds snarky but I don't mean to be. I just don't see how that actually works.

 

In any case, I would never argue with someone about taking off my shoes. If people don't want shoes in the house, that is fine. I do know people who would have a hard time having to take off their shoes. My mother could never have done that because of foot problems. She would have had to carry extra shoes that had never been worn outdoors everywhere she went. Maybe people do that. Obviously I am pretty clueless on this topic; I guess most people I know don't have a preference.

Most adults don't have visibly dirty feet. I haven't really had this issue.

 

Eg. My sandal and croc wearing kids often go to a playground that is on mulch. I will use the front hose to spray off feet and shoes. Their friends usually happily comply.

 

I realize that I sound extremely picky, but truly I am not. My house is usually a mess with the toys and books covering the floor. But my limit is dirty floors. Because of this I can get away with vacuuming once a week and mopping every two weeks. I detest cleaning!

[poppy]

"I don't like bare feet in my house either. I think bare feet can be worse than shoes (not always, but there are warts, infections, etc). Of course if a guest comes over and takes off shoes and has no socks on, I don't scold them. But ick."

 

 

I'm truly perplexed by the thought process in the original post. I always have been. Most people don't have infections, but we all know what people step on outside with their shoes on. Even if you wipe your feet on a mat, residual dirt, feces, gum, and who knows what else is still on them.

 

Anyone care to explain the original thought? Not being snarky. I truly don't understand.

 

DH has a lingering case of athlete's foot.  If he's wearing sandals, and is taken by surprise  by a request to take his shoes off before entering a house, he either has to reveal his health issue (which is foul and embarrassing) or infect their home. 

 

In another instance I was asked to take my shoes off, didn't expect it, and it was really humiliating for me because my new lousy Payless pleather boots had made my feet incredibly stinky.

 

I think it is incredibly rude of a host to force a guest to change their expected attire as a condition of entering the house.   But I have come to understand that no shoes inside is deeply important to some people, especially people from Asian cultures, so ...........  c'est la vie.    Just posting this to give another perspective to the "ewwwww shoes in the house is DISGUSTING!" perspective.

[Tammyla]

I would bring slippers, sock or a pair of indoor shoes for my own comfort.  I can't go barefoot either.

[Laura Corin]

 But I have come to understand that no shoes inside is deeply important to some people, especially people from Asian cultures, so ...........  c'est la vie.    

 

Just to give a full picture: certainly in Chinese Asia (where shoes are not worn inside) every house has guest slippers that are offered.  Going barefoot indoors is not common.  Of course, guest slippers may have their own issues, but they are often plastic (like shower shoes) and easy to keep clean.

 

L

[solascriptura]

DH has a lingering case of athlete's foot. If he's wearing sandals, and is taken by surprise by a request to take his shoes off before entering a house, he either has to reveal his health issue (which is foul and embarrassing) or infect their home.

 

In another instance I was asked to take my shoes off, didn't expect it, and it was really humiliating for me because my new lousy Payless pleather boots had made my feet incredibly stinky.

 

I think it is incredibly rude of a host to force a guest to change their expected attire as a condition of entering the house. But I have come to understand that no shoes inside is deeply important to some people, especially people from Asian cultures, so ........... c'est la vie. Just posting this to give another perspective to the "ewwwww shoes in the house is DISGUSTING!" perspective.

I see that you think that I am incredibly rude. But that is okay because I have thick skin. ;)

 

Actually, when I do have non Asian guests over, I give consideration to their worries about stinky feet or fungus issues and provide my unused disposable slippers from my airline travels. I never ask guests to remove socks. Actually, most guests assume this courtesy and remove their shoes without my having to ask. I am guessing that they assume this is my preference because I am Asian.

 

I understand your embarrassment issue. Honestly, I do. But I don't believe that a guest or a stranger has the right to do whatever they want in my home either. So yes, "c'est la vie!" And people, the best policy is to always consider the other person. That is why I do the best that I can and provide slippers since we have a no shoe (not no sock) policy.

[Alice]

A side note (because I remember a heated topic about removing shoes in winter, lol)...

 

If you are a no-shoes house & want your guests to do the same, please speak up & say so at the door.

 

We wear our shoes in our house & I am not offended if someone has a no shoes policy, but it doesn't naturally occur to me to take off my shoes at the door. I'd much prefer to be told to take off my shoes, rather than come on in & later realize that everyone else is not shod & I feel awkward & weird for not having removed my shoes in the first place.

 

Just my little PSA from those of us who are used to wearing shoes...

 

We are a no-shoes house, for the most part. When people come over we usually ask them to take their shoes off or if they ask we tell them we do prefer it. However, if we have a party and someone is walking around in shoes my assumption is that they really didn't want to take their shoes off and we don't want to force the issue or make them feel awkward so we just don't say anything. In reality, we prefer no shoes but even more we prefer our guests to be comfortable. 

 

For many it's not a mild preference, but deeply cultural. If they ask, please don't refuse since it will be viewed as deeply offense.

 

 

I see that you think that I am incredibly rude. But that is okay because I have thick skin. ;)

 

Actually, when I do have non Asian guests over, I give consideration to their worries about stinky feet or fungus issues and provide my unused disposable slippers from my airline travels. I never ask guests to remove socks. Actually, most guests assume this courtesy and remove their shoes without my having to ask. I am guessing that they assume this is my preference because I am Asian.

 

 

My dh is Asian. When I first met him his family home was no-shoes. He lived with his elderly parents and my assumption was that it was cultural. They had a basket of footie socks for people to use and no one ever questioned the no-shoes policy. Finally, I asked him one day what the reason was for the no-shoe thing and he looked at me funny and said "It keeps the floors clean." I think I thought there was some sort of other deep cultural meaning (and there might be for other Asians but for his family it was purely practical and for him as an American born Chinese it was just sort of something they did but without real meaning). 

 

I do find that people really don't question the no-shoe thing at our house and I think it is because he's Asian. But like I said, we don't find it offensive or problematic if they don't want to take off their shoes. 

 

Weirdly, to me, both my husband and his siblings hardly ever go barefoot. They hate to be barefoot so they all have house shoes that only get worn in the house. They take off their shoes at people's houses but always wear socks or have a pair of flip-flops with them. I actually prefer being barefoot and would never wear shoes if I could get away with it. :) 

[marbel]

I was raised in the southern U.S. (We are not Asian, and I only mention that because some people seem to think that they are the only people that prefer no shoes homes.) and my mother always taught me to take my shoes off at the door and to never wear my shoes in someone else's home. Otherwise, it would be rude and inconsiderate of another person's home. For someone to think it is their 'right' as a guest to wear their shoes and to be so deeply offended by the request to remove them....that is baffling to me. We are obviously a no shoes home. My kids sit in the floor, play games and puzzles. I clean the floors weekly. But the thought of wearing shoes that have been in public restrooms, possibly walked thru the remnants of urine, vomit or feces into someone's home....well IS disgusting to ME. Not to mention gas stations...I have stepped in gasoline by accident that has leaked onto the ground. I wouldn't want that on my floors. My dd has allergies and I try to reduce tracking pollen through my home as well. Right now it is so bad where we live we also change our clothes when we come home. My children sit on these floors. I realize it doesn't bother others and that is okay if they don't think about those things in their own home. But to find me incredibly rude for requesting guests to please take their shoes off at the door in my own home? Lol...so be it.

 

ETA: Forgot to mention two words...'dog poop'. Unfortunately, we have lived in and visited many neighborhoods that there is always dog poop in the grass. Far too many people do not clean up after their dogs. I just wanted to add...I don't want dog poop tracked all over my floors either!

 

Right, you were raised that way so it is completely natural to you.   Not everyone was raised that way, so it is not natural to everyone.

 

I was raised that the most important thing was to make guests feel welcome and comfortable in my home.  When I was growing up, people kept their shoes on after wiping their feet at the door so that is what seems natural to me.   It was only after I was well into adulthood that I came in contact with people who requested shoes be removed.

 

Again, I do take shoes off when requested or when it's obvious it is the thing to do.  I'm generally more comfortable with shoes off as long as I have socks on, unless I have to stand for a long time.  When people come over and ask me if shoes should come off, I tell them they are welcome to or to leave shoes on, whichever is most comfortable.  I'd guess about half the people take them off and half leave them on.

 

I guess I just figure stuff gets in the house.  For one thing, the dog comes in and out, no shoes to take off.  A friend who uses a wheelchair has to come across the lawn to get in my back door;  I don't wipe down the wheels as he goes through. 

[GailV]

When I read a thread like this, I wonder if part of the reason Americans have foot problems is we do wear shoes all the time. Honestly, I couldn't stay in a house where I couldn't wear my shoes with the amount of arch support I need. I would have to apologize and leave, it would not be worth the pain.

 

I could when I was 20 and living in Japan, and I don't remember people there having a arch problem without shoes (although maybe I just didn't pay attention). I know my chiropractor has encouraged me to stretch and strengthen my feet and to try to go shoeless for short periods, and perhaps this is part of it - maybe be people like me have enabled our feet not to tolerate going shoeless.

 

But in any case, I can't. Sad, I know. No one in the states has asked me to, and I don't think I could do it for more than a few minutes even to be polite.

 

There are entire books and websites devoted to this line of thought that wearing shoes all of the time makes the feet weaker.  

[Jamee]

There are entire books and websites devoted to this line of thought that wearing shoes all of the time makes the feet weaker.  

 

Not really related to no-shoes, but I have come to this realization too.  A couple years ago, I discovered barefoot is best.  I have VERY flat feet and everyone was always telling me to wear orthodics, or "good shoes," to no avail.  I tried minimalist shoes for the first time on a whim when I couldn't walk a quarter mile in my "good shoes." Have never looked back! For the first time ever, I was able to run pain free.  

 

As for summer and dirty/stinky feet, again, I always carry socks.  This goes for the rainy season too, when I might have wet, dirty feet.  I carry a little towel to dry them off, then put on clean socks.  Even before we moved to Asia, we were a no-shoes family and it drives me crazy to see my dad in his boots or sandals ALL THE TIME. Guess we'll have to stock up on house slippers if we ever move from here.  

 

PS

I agree with all those who say how gross it is to bring dirty shoes inside, especially a carpeted home.

[katilac]

We are a no-shoes house, for the most part. When people come over we usually ask them to take their shoes off or if they ask we tell them we do prefer it. However, if we have a party and someone is walking around in shoes my assumption is that they really didn't want to take their shoes off and we don't want to force the issue or make them feel awkward so we just don't say anything. In reality, we prefer no shoes but even more we prefer our guests to be comfortable. 

 

 

See, the party thing is where it really strikes me as weird. Over for coffee or a playdate, sure, I can roll with no shoes. But a party? The thought of all these people carefully getting ready and picking out a great outfit . . . and then wandering around in house slippers, idk, it just cracks me up. 

[Laura Corin]

See, the party thing is where it really strikes me as weird. Over for coffee or a playdate, sure, I can roll with no shoes. But a party? The thought of all these people carefully getting ready and picking out a great outfit . . . and then wandering around in house slippers, idk, it just cracks me up. 

 

It's just a question of what you are used to visually.  I have great memories of formal gatherings in China with everyone dressed up to the nines but wearing enormous fluffy guest slippers with animals on the front.

 

L

[solascriptura]

See, the party thing is where it really strikes me as weird. Over for coffee or a playdate, sure, I can roll with no shoes. But a party? The thought of all these people carefully getting ready and picking out a great outfit . . . and then wandering around in house slippers, idk, it just cracks me up.

I see what you mean here, but this is a cultural norm. In an Asian house it wouldn't be weird at all.

[skimomma]

I have never encountered any sort of conflict over this issue IRL, but I have a burning question for all of you who always wear your shoes indoors:  Are your floors always covered in water, mud, sand, pine needles, and gravel?!?!?  My house would be a horrible mess after one day if we wore shoes inside.  On any given day, there is a 70% chance that the ground right outside every door of my house has either snow, slush, water, road salt, mud, gravel, pine needles, dog poo, or a mixture of some/all of the above.  I cannot fathom cleaning that up every day.  Nor can I imagine how uncomfortable it would be for kids to play on the floors or for someone who chooses to go barefoot.  I could see it in an apartment or somewhere where it is always dry and warm, but not in any locations I have ever lived.  I do not know anyone IRL that wears shoes indoors so it is never a real discussion, but every time this topic comes up, I so want to ask!

[Jamee]

See, the party thing is where it really strikes me as weird. Over for coffee or a playdate, sure, I can roll with no shoes. But a party? The thought of all these people carefully getting ready and picking out a great outfit . . . and then wandering around in house slippers, idk, it just cracks me up. 

 

You should see the PILE of shoes at the door and the fun that is had finding yours upon leaving. :D

[marbel]

I have never encountered any sort of conflict over this issue IRL, but I have a burning question for all of you who always wear your shoes indoors:  Are your floors always covered in water, mud, sand, pine needles, and gravel?!?!?  My house would be a horrible mess after one day if we wore shoes inside.  On any given day, there is a 70% chance that the ground right outside every door of my house has either snow, slush, water, road salt, mud, gravel, pine needles, dog poo, or a mixture of some/all of the above.  I cannot fathom cleaning that up every day.  Nor can I imagine how uncomfortable it would be for kids to play on the floors or for someone who chooses to go barefoot.  I could see it in an apartment or somewhere where it is always dry and warm, but not in any locations I have ever lived.  I do not know anyone IRL that wears shoes indoors so it is never a real discussion, but every time this topic comes up, I so want to ask!

 

LOL.  No, my floors are not always covered in mud, leaves, etc. 

 

We wipe our shoes any time we come in.  If it's yucky outside, we take them off.  If some mud gets in, we clean that area.  If it's rainy, we put a towel or old (washable) rug on the floor and take our shoes off there.   Sure, occasionally someone will track something in without noticing but that's rare and we clean it right up.  We also clean up our dog's poop and don't leave it in the yard for people to walk in. 

 

So we are not tromping through the house with mud and dog poop all over our shoes and leaving it there.  :lol:  

 

If that's the image people have of those of us who don't require guests to take their shoes off, it's no wonder you are disgusted by us. :lol: :lol:

 

 

 

 

[poppy]

We are a no-shoes house, for the most part. When people come over we usually ask them to take their shoes off or if they ask we tell them we do prefer it. However, if we have a party and someone is walking around in shoes my assumption is that they really didn't want to take their shoes off and we don't want to force the issue or make them feel awkward so we just don't say anything. In reality, we prefer no shoes but even more we prefer our guests to be comfortable. 

 

 

 

 

My dh is Asian. When I first met him his family home was no-shoes. He lived with his elderly parents and my assumption was that it was cultural. They had a basket of footie socks for people to use and no one ever questioned the no-shoes policy. Finally, I asked him one day what the reason was for the no-shoe thing and he looked at me funny and said "It keeps the floors clean." I think I thought there was some sort of other deep cultural meaning (and there might be for other Asians but for his family it was purely practical and for him as an American born Chinese it was just sort of something they did but without real meaning). 

 

I do find that people really don't question the no-shoe thing at our house and I think it is because he's Asian. But like I said, we don't find it offensive or problematic if they don't want to take off their shoes. 

 

Weirdly, to me, both my husband and his siblings hardly ever go barefoot. They hate to be barefoot so they all have house shoes that only get worn in the house. They take off their shoes at people's houses but always wear socks or have a pair of flip-flops with them. I actually prefer being barefoot and would never wear shoes if I could get away with it. :)

 

When I say "it's a cultural thing" about Asians feeling like houses should be shoes off, I just mean it's the norm in terms of etiquette for cleanliness sake. I never meant to imply it was some ancient tradition or religious observance.

 

Obviously as we've seen in this thread different culture have different customs. Apparently in the US South, it's shoes off.  Apparently in Canada, it's shoes on.   In both cases I would say "it's a cultural thing".  As opposed to "Southerns like clean houses and Canadians like vomit and feces on their floors."  Or "Southerns don't care about guest's comfort while Canadians do".

 

[poppy]

I have never encountered any sort of conflict over this issue IRL, but I have a burning question for all of you who always wear your shoes indoors:  Are your floors always covered in water, mud, sand, pine needles, and gravel?!?!?  My house would be a horrible mess after one day if we wore shoes inside.  On any given day, there is a 70% chance that the ground right outside every door of my house has either snow, slush, water, road salt, mud, gravel, pine needles, dog poo, or a mixture of some/all of the above.  I cannot fathom cleaning that up every day.  Nor can I imagine how uncomfortable it would be for kids to play on the floors or for someone who chooses to go barefoot.  I could see it in an apartment or somewhere where it is always dry and warm, but not in any locations I have ever lived.  I do not know anyone IRL that wears shoes indoors so it is never a real discussion, but every time this topic comes up, I so want to ask!

 

Shoes on is pretty normal everywhere I have lived.  Pennsylvania, Ohio, Massachusetts, New Hampshire.  So you can chose to think most people in those states let their kids play on floors covered in unfathomable filth. Or you can just think of it as a cultural preference that really doesn't make much difference either way.