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Is the author a homeschooler?  What is the purpose of the book?

 

 

ETA:  I recently read a book about homeschooling written by a non-homeschooler, and it was completely degrading and insulting to homeschooling parents.  Before I give any information, I want to know the author.  

 

I hope other homeschoolers will use the same discretion.  

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Dr. Dale and I are both homeschoolers. I am a single work at home homeschooler of four . Dr.Dale's family also homeschooled for many years. We are just interested in finding out which non academic issues most affect homeschooling parents.This book is meant to be a resource FOR homeschoolers.

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Tell us more about yourself and Dr. Dale, please. I'm asking because I find it very unusual that a new poster would ask us to talk about something so personal. Many if us have participated in the forum long enough to get to know one another a bit and we welcome new people who are homeschooling their children, are interested in homeschooling, after schooling, those interested in a the classical model, etc.. However, we do not wish to be exploited so that others can make a profit off of our experience.

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Dr. Dale and I are both homeschoolers. I am a single work at home homeschooler of four . Dr.Dale's family also homeschooled for many years. We are just interested in finding out which non academic issues most affect homeschooling parents.This book is meant to be a resource FOR homeschoolers.

 

"Dr. Dale's family also homeschooled for many years." That statement doesn't clarify things.  Did Dr. Dale actually do some homeschooling?  Is Dr. Dale the spouse of someone who did the actual homeschooling?  What does "for many years" mean? I know an adult IRL who was homeschooled for a year in Jr. High.  He usually introduces himself to homeschoolers as someone who was homeschooled.  It takes a long time before you realize that it was only a year because he leaves that detail out, so his insights are not very valuable.  His wife who was homeschooled her whole K-12 education and who homeschools their children is a much better resource.

 

To be completely honest, I don't consider a dad whose wife teaches all the subjects a homeschool dad.  My husband taught my older two math and science starting at the Jr. High level through the high school level.   He's teaching science, and soon, math enrichment to our youngest.  He's a homeschool dad.  He's done the actual work of homeschooling. Men who don't are married to women who homeschool. The smart ones phrase it that way-he did before he started teaching them.

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I am a freelance content developer and I am assisting another author put together a list of non academic topics which homeschoolers feel affect them. I only needed short answers no personal details. Examples burn out, socialization, balancing work and homeschooling. I apologized if you thought I was trying to exploit any one I'm just brainstorming for topics.

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I have homeschooled for 7 years. I have four children age 10 -4. I homeschool alone. I am a single mother who works full time from home AND homeschools my four children. I was simply reaching out to some fellow homeschoolers for short topic ideas for a project I am working on. Sorry to have aroused suspicion.

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Dr. Dale is a psychologist located in Ocala, Fl many years ago he wrote several homeschooling articles which he is now updating into a homeschooling resource for parents. I am an independent contractor and I do not require my vast client base to supply in depth personal details about why they need my skills in helping them develop their content. I am not trying to collect homeschoolers personal info I just wanted simple one or two word topic ideas.

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http://www.flcsocala.com/resources.php

 

This is the link I found and I did read the two articles that were indicated having been reprinted from Homeschooling Today magazine.  Neither seem to relate specifically to homeschooling more to family dynamics that would/could occur in any family.  Then I found the following book that he authored on homeschooling.

 

http://www.commonsensepress.com/nsdfamly.htm

 

I'm not sure if that makes anyone more comfortable but a quick google search does show the above links as well as several published articles that Dr. Dale has written for various publications.  

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You know what ladies I really did not imagine asking homeschoolers to give a " one or two word topic suggestion" would cause any of you to feel uncomfortable. Like I said I have a job in addition to homeschooling and I have deadlines to meet on this project so I will take this incredibly simple question to another forum.

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No one thinks you're asking for personal information in the sense of names, addresses, etc.  You're asking about personal information in the sense that you want homeschoolers to tell you about aspects of homeschooling that are deeply emoitionally charged and sometimes personally painful.  Many of us have decades of experience dealling with critcism about homeschooling from academic, emotional and lifestyle angles and we're not naive enough to assume every inquiry about challanges is going to be done in a constructive way.  Like it or not, you, as someone we don't know online or IRL, are going to be faced with suspicion and caution from veteran and many new homeschoolers.  I have to say I'm genuinely surprised someone who's homeschooling seems unaware of this tendency in other homeschoolers.

You may not require it of your clients, but everyone here has made it clear that WE want to know more about this person before we go answering the type of questions you ask.  Techwife very clearly explained why.  If you're unable or unwilling to do this, then we aren't going to help you. Even if you do, depending on the answers, we may not help you.  Please carefully reread each posted reply and answer the questions or let your client know that the people at TWTM boards were unwilling to help you and why.  It would probably be every useful to your client, whether you answer these questions or not, to read these replies if he wants to address issues about homeschoolers.

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I am part of a large homeschooling support system of over thirty families none of which have ever expressed experiencing such prejudice. I'm sorry your experience had been so negative. Again I only wanted one or two word topics I didn't want anyone's life story

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Again, no one assumed you wanted their life stories. WE UNDERSTAND YOU ONLY WANT A FEW ONE WORD TERMS. We have conditions that have to be met before we do that.  Do you understand those conditions?  It seems like you haven't read a single word we wrote.  We wanted to know more about the person for whom you were asking, what his motivations are, etc.  Are you going to answer any of the questions people have been repeating or are not? You seem to think this is some how about you-it isn't.  We want to know about the person writing the book and what his experience with homeschooling is and what his motivation will be with the information you're asking about. 

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I make it a regular habit to help ANYONE with any interest in homeschooling and that has often included complete strangers. THAT is how you build community. Closing yourselves off into insecure frightened little cliques encourages the damaging stereotypes which many people hold against our alternative lifestyle

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You know what ladies I really did not imagine asking homeschoolers to give a " one or two word topic suggestion" would cause any of you to feel uncomfortable. Like I said I have a job in addition to homeschooling and I have deadlines to meet on this project so I will take this incredibly simple question to another forum.

 

 

It's a question that would not be needed to even be asked by someone who actually homeschools and lives among other HSers, even if only via online.  We have pages and pages of threads that would feed the Dr's topic.  If he wants to write a book marketed to HSers, the least he can do is take the time to truly study his topic instead of sending someone else to gather topic bullets for him.  Quite frankly, I don't want to waste time & money on a book that isn't written from the author's experience, wisdom and passion.  

 

No offense to you personally, as I know HSing as a single mom is a tough job!

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I think the problem is not with the information you're asking for, but more with the fact that you've dropped in here to ask for help with your work without contributing anything to the community yourself, or even hanging around for a while getting to know people here.

 

In my experience, this is a pretty typical response from an established community -- online or off -- to a request like this from a newcomer / stranger. It's quite different from someone showing up asking advice for a personal problem or crisis.

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This is such a large public forum and people have been burned one too many times. It is not unreasonable for the members to ask for/or require more detailed information before they share.

 

An option you have is to simply read through the vast bank of past threads and posts to glean the information you need. There are many threads and posts that discuss the non-educational aspects of home schooling as well.

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I make it a regular habit to help ANYONE with any interest in homeschooling and that has often included complete strangers. THAT is how you build community. Closing yourselves off into insecure frightened little cliques encourages the damaging stereotypes which many people hold against our alternative lifestyle

 

 

Wow!  We are a very open community.  You didn't post as a HSer asking for help.  You asked for fodder for a book.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh my! His motives are to update his older homeschooling articles which can be viewed online into a new resource guide for homeschoolers. He is a psychologist from Ocala, FL. Did I answer the question?

 

 

I have little respect for his writing on the topic of HSing after seeing his approach for info gathering.  Again, HSers have been exploited in a similar manner recently. Not buying it this time.

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If he wants to write a book marketed to HSers, the least he can do is take the time to truly study his topic instead of sending someone else to gather topic bullets for him.  Quite frankly, I don't want to waste time & money on a book that isn't written from the author's experience, wisdom and passion.  

 

This is what I don't understand. If he is a former homeschooling parent writing a book for other homeschooling parents, I would prefer for him to draw on his own experience rather than solicit issues just to...contrive solutions for those issues...that he never had himself? Huh? If he had experienced the issues firsthand, his advice would be from the heart, from a place of experience and wisdom gained through the years. I'm not afraid to share my issues, just disinclined as someone who prefers to read books based on experience.

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Again I apologize. I am personally completely unfamiliar with " online communities" as I have never had the luxury of having enough time on my hands to invest in such outlets. I was hired to collect some info. I thought a homeschooling online community would be a good place to collect such info. I was wrong. I also approached a local homeschool group in my city who were very happy to answer some very in depth questions for this purpose. Again very sorry to have invaded your little world here. It won't happen again.

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Oh good grief!   If you don't want to answer then don't.  

 

I think this could be a really good book. 

 

Some emotional issues that I deal with:

 

1.  Second guessing my decision to homeschool, b/c one of my two kids would really rather be in public school (NOT going to happen)

 

2.  Fear and worry over suspected learning disabilities in one of my kids.

 

3.  Guilt when I let things slide or don't feel like I'm doing a good, consistent job homeschooling my kids.

 

4.  Managing my own recurring low-grade depression while still trying to be "up" for my kids.

 

5.  EXHAUSTION (as much physical as mental, honestly) - Sometimes I get really sick of taking the kids to classes, park days, etc.  We are very, very busy and sometimes I want to take a break, but the activities are so incredibly important to my kids that I suck it up and do it anyway.  But, "sucking it up" definitely takes its emotional toll, and leaves me physically and emotionally tired.

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Again I apologize. I am personally completely unfamiliar with " online communities" as I have never had the luxury of having enough time on my hands to invest in such outlets. I was hired to collect some info. I thought a homeschooling online community would be a good place to collect such info. I was wrong. I also approached a local homeschool group in my city who were very happy to answer some very in depth questions for this purpose. Again very sorry to have invaded your little world here. It won't happen again.

 

See, now you are just proving some people's point that new people who come here and nicely ask us questions might really just want to insult us in the end. :lol: You should have taken the high road. 

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Apparently homeschoolers have some vastly differing experiences because of the dozens if homeschoolers I interact with on a weekly basis I've never heard one of them ever talk about " getting burned" nor have I ever met a homeschooler who didn't ENJOY talking about their experiences. I guess I've been blessed to be acquainted with some very positive open individuals.

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Apparently homeschoolers have some vastly differing experiences because of the dozens if homeschoolers I interact with on a weekly basis I've never heard one of them ever talk about " getting burned" nor have I ever met a homeschooler who didn't ENJOY talking about their experiences. I guess I've been blessed to be acquainted with some very positive open individuals.

 

 

If you came on here asking for help in homeschooling, we would have given it.  You asked for book fodder.

 

 

I greatly enjoy talking about my homeschooling experiences.  I enjoy helping people.  What I do not enjoy is explaining to a HS newbie how she just wasted $$$ and 3 months trying to implement a book that was written by someone with LITTLE to ZERO experience in the trenches. 

 

 

You are appealing to our desire to help, which is not diminished by our desire to protect each other.  

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See, now you are just proving some people's point that new people who come here and nicely ask us questions might really just want to insult us in the end. :lol: You should have taken the high road. 

 

Oh, I think her response was spot on.  She comes and innocently asks a question.  Instead of politely asking (not interrogating) her more info about the project or gently  explaining why some (not all!) forum members might not feel comfortable sharing that information, she's jumped on and treated like a criminal.  I'm really disappointed that this thread devolved the way it did.  It reflects poorly on us, and I'm honestly embarrassed.  

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Oh, I think her response was spot on.  She comes and innocently asks a question.  Instead of politely asking (not interrogating) her more info about the project or gently  explaining why some (not all!) forum members might not feel comfortable sharing that information, she's jumped on and treated like a criminal.  I'm really disappointed that this thread devolved the way it did.  It reflects poorly on us, and I'm honestly embarrassed.  

 

I agree that people were...vigorous in their objections. 

 

I also agree that it could be a really good book, if written by the right person. But then I think about the idea of someone garnering issues (or, rather, hiring someone else to garner issues)—collecting real-life heartfelt issues, for which homeschoolers would (presumably) like a solution that comes from a place of experience and understanding—and then intellectually formulating solutions. If the author had any experience with the issues he is collecting to write about, he could think of them on his own. 

 

As an author I must say "collecting book fodder" is how books get created in the first place!! No fodder no book :)

 

Well, as I said, I do not have trust issues around sharing my stuff, but I think this style of "collecting book fodder" for this particular topic is not going to produce a book I would personally be interested in reading. 

 

I do think our posters could have been more gracious, especially as you say you are not familiar with forum etiquette. Based on this thread, I guess you could give the good Dr. "trust issues" as an emotional hot button issue. ;)

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I hate to be Debbie downer here but most of your favorite authors use minions like me to do their grunt work. I have made an entire career out of doing the bidding of "successful" authors who would rather sub out their research, outlining heck sometimes even the actual writing of some very successful works. And the minions don't care that our names are never mentioned because we still get to take in a nice little income and support our families while never having to get out of our pajamas :)

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I have zero problem answering this question. I don't even care what you do with it. :) I'm so surprised by the reaction here.

 

My biggest problem is that I'm an introvert. Being with other humans 24/7 gets very overwhelming sometimes.

 

:iagree:   This is probably my biggest challenge as well.  I also don't give two hoots what you do or do not do with this basic info :-)

 

Best of luck on the book.

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I hate to be Debbie downer here but most of your favorite authors use minions like me to do their grunt work. I have made an entire career out of doing the bidding of "successful" authors who would rather sub out their research, outlining heck sometimes even the actual writing of some very successful works. And the minions don't care that our names are never mentioned because we still get to take in a nice little income and support our families while never having to get out of our pajamas :)

 

And yet the people you are asking to supply the information get bupkis. 

 

Really, everything you claim to be looking for could probably be found on about.com, for Pete's sake.  If you have been homeschooling for 7 years, I would think you could at least use your own experiences.  I'm not even a homeschooler (yet) and I could have given a dozen vague categories just from having done my own research.

 

I don't think there's anything sinister going on here; I just already have too many people tugging at my sleeve for help even though they haven't made an effort to figure it out for themselves.  ;)

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Well, I ain't skeerd.  :p

(That's redneck for "What's the big deal?)

 

My biggest emotionally-charged issue is anxiety over doing a good job. No, that isn't strong enough. My perfectionism has me believing that I have to be the best homeschooling mom in the entire world AND be the most organized AND have a perfectly kept house with dinner on the table every evening at 6 PM. 

 

As you can imagine, I am most often disappointed and guilty over my shortcomings, real and imagined. Though I am making some progress here, (especially enjoying the "Teaching From a State of Rest" videos lately) it is something I face daily.

 

 

 

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My biggest issue was not being able to combine hsing with continuing my career, and I envy people who manage that. Being home for so many years has affected my ability to have the job I wish I had, instead of the job I do have. (My youngest is no longer hsing and I am back to work.)

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I have worked for many years as a researcher. Ethical standards require that all researchers participate in an informed consent process where each participant is given information about the aims and objectives of the project, data security and what will be done with the results before any participation is expected. In my opinion, book writers and their information gatherers are researchers if they plan to write an accurate book, and they shouldn't get stroppy when asked to give more than a couple of lines of information. As for the assertion that you are too busy, as a homeschooling mother, I would think that you would appreciate how busy the rest of us are. We are certainly too busy to trawl the web looking for info about your boss and his likely intentions. We come to this forum to get and give support. Many people here share very personal information. We're not scared of your intentions, we simply want to be treated with respect. Your current method is giving you biased results.

 

You have some answers to work with. In the future, can I suggest that you provide more information and less judgement when asking personal questions online.

Danielle

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