So when did 3 become the new 5?

[Susan in TX]

I guess I'm just getting old. SIGH. I was looking at the prek-K forum because my 9th child is in K right now. And I was surprised by the posts from concerned mothers of 3 and 4 year olds who were struggling with learning their letters. Back in my day a 3 year old was still a baby. No one tried to teach a 3 year old anything academic. No one expected a kid to know anything before they started kindergarten at age 5. Kindergarten was a half day and half of that time was spent playing. We spent the entire year of kindergarten learning the stuff that we are now teaching  3 and 4 year olds. What ever happened to childhood?

 

Susan in TX

[Alte Veste Academy]

Amen.

[Alte Veste Academy]

How my three year olds learned their numbers: "I will give you 50 more pushes on the swing, and then I am going to sit down. 1...2...3..." 

[Ellie]

I guess I'm just getting old. SIGH. I was looking at the prek-K forum because my 9th child is in K right now. And I was surprised by the posts from concerned mothers of 3 and 4 year olds who were struggling with learning their letters. Back in my day a 3 year old was still a baby. No one tried to teach a 3 year old anything academic. No one expected a kid to know anything before they started kindergarten at age 5. Kindergarten was a half day and half of that time was spent playing. We spent the entire year of kindergarten learning the stuff that we are now teaching  3 and 4 year olds. What ever happened to childhood?

 

Susan in TX

 

I think part of it is the effort to make parents who put their children in full-time day care to feel better about it, KWIM? It isn't "only" day care; it's pre*school*. That rubs off on parents who have no intention of putting their dc in day care, such that those young mothers think it is necessary for them to do formal academics with their young children, when actually it turns out that what the day care does is the kind of thing that mothers normally do with their young children when it is they who are home with them.

[maize]

I agree 100%

 

though my current 3 year old is very interested in numbers and letters and I sometimes feel slightly guilty for not spending more focused time with him.

[Guest]

Amen.

 

My personal "band-aid" solutions:

 

I frequent the used curriculum board for my K'er.

 

We've also found fun "unit study" stuff in the early chapters of what is marketed for "ungraded elementary". The books go back on the shelf to grow into when it stops being fun.

 

 

[carriede]

My friend kept her DS at home when he was 4, and did not put him in prek. She didnt homeschool, just kept him at home. She then put him in K when he was 5. He was BEHIND! There was so much they learned in PreK PS that he was behind and as the school year ends is still "behind" but has almost caught up and learned two years worth if stuff.

 

It's crazy. PreK is pretty much mandatory where I live.

[Hyacinth]

The sign at a local day care place reads: Now enrolling for K2.

 

Huh?!

[jennynd]

My daughter went to a academic preK. 3 yo has homework, worksheets and flash card all day long. There is a long waiting list to get in that preschool. But I ended up pulled my daughter out that school and switched to a more play based school. There have their whole life to learn. I do teach my daughter to read and math. But that was 10 mins here and there and was based on what she asked. I really regretted to have my daughter in that preK. It was so mechanical and uninspiring.

[Hunter]

It's a top down problem. When high school became AP instead of high school, everything needed to be adjusted by 2 years all the way down.

 

I was just talking about this in the grammar thread. Saxon 5/4 is now grade 3 and Hake Grammar 3 is old 5th grade in my opinion.

 

Yes, there are SOME children that can handle this, especially if they are redshirted and come from gifted and financially secure families, and attend the best schools.

 

But in general, this loss of 2 years is sad. And it's not something that is even possible for some children, never mind advisable.

[Alte Veste Academy]

It's a top down problem. When high school became AP instead of high school, everything needed to be adjusted by 2 years all the way down.

 

I was just talking about this in the grammar thread. Saxon 5/4 is now grade 3 and Hake Grammar 3 is old 5th grade in my opinion.

 

Yes, there are SOME children that can handle this, especially if they are redshirted and come from gifted and financially secure families, and attend the best schools.

 

But in general, this loss of 2 years is sad. And it's not something that is even possible for some children, never mind advisable.

 

See, now, I think it's a middle down problem. I think we expect too little of middle schoolers. They shove stuff down to the little kids. It's all hurry, hurry, hurry just to sloooooooowwwww waaaaaaaayyyyy dooooowwwwn just to AP, AP, AP. I would work on the middle, leave the babies to their play, and let the high schoolers pick the course that best suits them, having been aptly prepared. 

 

 

[Alte Veste Academy]

But you know, I really think for homeschoolers (and the OP referenced the board), it's a matter of something else. Peer pressure? Eagerness to begin? A lack of faith in natural learning? I don't know. I understand the pressure to prepare a child for school, but barring advanced little kids actively pushing for more, I do not understand why homeschoolers would need to do much more than play-based learning before K.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I think you are right.

 

Looking at middle school books (since I'm at that point right now) they aren't about anything new.  It's kinda like a rehashing.  I've found myself getting several high school level books because they offer something new.

 

Yeah, I have been stupefied by math. It's all the same, same, same before it finally gets interesting. And it could get interesting much earlier than the typical progression. 

[Kristie in Florida]

I worked at a preschool last year and there were parents of 4 year olds who were freaking out because their child wasn't reading yet. It broke my heart. I was pregnant and it was one of my many many reasons to keep my little baby at home. 

 

 

[abba12]

Please know there are a mix of people on the preK forum. We recently had a topic about early academics which was quite interesting as well, you might like to read it, lots of different opinions there, and definitely a few 'agree to disagree' points. But here's some generalizations.

 

None of us are sitting our 3 year old's down for 3 hour school sessions. Most people reported a 15 min to 30 min a day, those who said they did more were including read-aloud time and hands-on, sensory tub type activities. No one is taking away their childhoods by sitting at the table for 20 minutes doing a little bit of numbers and letters over their morning snack. 20 minutes will not take away their ability to be children and play for the other 12 waking hours of their day.

 

Most of us also aren't pushing our kids for the sake of pushing them. Like a previous poster said, it is possible these days to go into K 'behind' so some of those parents are 'homeschooling PreK' with no intention of continuing past that point, because they want their kids home until they're 5 but their school districts are such that they absolutely have to enter K knowing their letter sounds. This is not unusual in today's school system.

 

There's also a number of parents of gifted/precocious kids on that forum. I'm in that category. My daughter cries if we don't do school each day. It's her favorite thing and she's very proud of herself. So when we hit a roadblock I would post a question, not because I am 'pushing her' or 'taking away her childhood', but because she wants to learn, she is frustrated by the wall she has hit, and I am unsure how to help her overcome it, or how to redirect her if it is an age barrier. If a 3yo and a 5yo are at the same academic level, why should the advice to the 5yo be a, b and c, and the advice to the 3yo be 'just wait till they're older'. (unless it is a development thing, obviously, which ONLY time will overcome). They both want to learn, they are both equally capable, why hold the 3yo back if they WANT to go forward? (there are valid responses to this, some parents even said they consider early academics like junk food, their kids love it, but it isn't good for them to have a lot of. I disagree, but I recognize that viewpoint does exist)

 

Mums of little ones are facing enough judgment as it is. Older people tell us we are ruining our kids childhood, younger parents compare everything and obsess over who is 'ahead', the school system evaluates 4 and 5 year olds for who is bright and who is dumb, we get told to make sure we are making memories, and make sure you do all the beautiful craft, but don't spoil them for attention, teach them how to be bored and find fun things to do, and at the end of all this try to make sure your kid is one of the ones who can read CVC words when they enter K so that they can get into program a and enrichment b, which will put them ahead for their whole school career.

 

I try to opt out of as much of that crap as I can, but a little less judgment from other mums, from BOTH sides, would be nice. While people like you are saying kids shouldn't be doing academics at this age, I have other mothers IRL questioning the fact my daughter isn't consistently counting, and struggled a lot with colours (though she is probably going to be reading even earlier than I expected, and knows more about elementary geometry than most 1st graders). No matter what you do, someone will think a mum of a 3 year old is wrong, and it's so much worse in this birth to age 5 age range than it is later on when people are willing to point the responsibility on more than just the mother.

[regentrude]

See, now, I think it's a middle down problem. I think we expect too little of middle schoolers. They shove stuff down to the little kids. It's all hurry, hurry, hurry just to sloooooooowwwww waaaaaaaayyyyy dooooowwwwn just to AP, AP, AP. I would work on the middle, leave the babies to their play, and let the high schoolers pick the course that best suits them, having been aptly prepared. 

 

Exactly. I have been able to compare the US school education with the one in Germany. It is completely upside down: here they drill the little ones with flash cards and push academics into elementary with long school days, but come 5th grade the learning stops and kids are just parked and supervised for 3-4 years before some learning resumes in 9th. Back home, kids enter school at age 6 or 7 and learn their abcs there, they get out of school at noon during the elementary years - but then, in 5th grade, expectations are ramped up, the kids learn, and that's how results at the end are achieved.

 

It's the squandered middle years that are to be blamed for the sorry state of school education in this country. Pushing academics down to preschool is not a solution - the little ones should play. that's how they learn what they need to learn.

 

[regentrude]

, it is possible these days to go into K 'behind' so some of those parents are 'homeschooling PreK' with no intention of continuing past that point, because they want their kids home until they're 5 but their school districts are such that they absolutely have to enter K knowing their letter sounds.

 

??? Or they learn them there in K. It is infinitely easier to get a 5 year old to learn the abcs than a 3 year old.

My DD was "behind" - she did not know any letter sounds entering K, because we had just moved from a country where there are no preschool academics. So what? She learned them there and was the first in her class to read fluently.

[Hunter]

Please know there are a mix of people on the preK forum. We recently had a topic about early academics which was quite interesting as well, you might like to read it, lots of different opinions there, and definitely a few 'agree to disagree' points. But here's some generalizations.

 

None of us are sitting our 3 year old's down for 3 hour school sessions. Most people reported a 15 min to 30 min a day, those who said they did more were including read-aloud time and hands-on, sensory tub type activities. No one is taking away their childhoods by sitting at the table for 20 minutes doing a little bit of numbers and letters over their morning snack. 20 minutes will not take away their ability to be children and play for the other 12 waking hours of their day.

 

Most of us also aren't pushing our kids for the sake of pushing them. Like a previous poster said, it is possible these days to go into K 'behind' so some of those parents are 'homeschooling PreK' with no intention of continuing past that point, because they want their kids home until they're 5 but their school districts are such that they absolutely have to enter K knowing their letter sounds. This is not unusual in today's school system.

 

There's also a number of parents of gifted/precocious kids on that forum. I'm in that category. My daughter cries if we don't do school each day. It's her favorite thing and she's very proud of herself. So when we hit a roadblock I would post a question, not because I am 'pushing her' or 'taking away her childhood', but because she wants to learn, she is frustrated by the wall she has hit, and I am unsure how to help her overcome it, or how to redirect her if it is an age barrier. If a 3yo and a 5yo are at the same academic level, why should the advice to the 5yo be a, b and c, and the advice to the 3yo be 'just wait till they're older'. (unless it is a development thing, obviously, which ONLY time will overcome). They both want to learn, they are both equally capable, why hold the 3yo back if they WANT to go forward? (there are valid responses to this, some parents even said they consider early academics like junk food, their kids love it, but it isn't good for them to have a lot of. I disagree, but I recognize that viewpoint does exist)

 

Mums of little ones are facing enough judgment as it is. Older people tell us we are ruining our kids childhood, younger parents compare everything and obsess over who is 'ahead', the school system evaluates 4 and 5 year olds for who is bright and who is dumb, we get told to make sure we are making memories, and make sure you do all the beautiful craft, but don't spoil them for attention, teach them how to be bored and find fun things to do, and at the end of all this try to make sure your kid is one of the ones who can read CVC words when they enter K so that they can get into program a and enrichment b, which will put them ahead for their whole school career.

 

I try to opt out of as much of that crap as I can, but a little less judgment from other mums, from BOTH sides, would be nice. While people like you are saying kids shouldn't be doing academics at this age, I have other mothers IRL questioning the fact my daughter isn't consistently counting, and struggled a lot with colours (though she is probably going to be reading even earlier than I expected, and knows more about elementary geometry than most 1st graders). No matter what you do, someone will think a mum of a 3 year old is wrong, and it's so much worse in this birth to age 5 age range than it is later on when people are willing to point the responsibility on more than just the mother.

I wasn't judging moms, especially moms of gifted children! I'm just talking about the general sorry state of things that starts with the powerful people, not the moms' attempts to cope with the realities they experience. :grouphug:

[AimeeM]

I guess I'm just getting old. SIGH. I was looking at the prek-K forum because my 9th child is in K right now. And I was surprised by the posts from concerned mothers of 3 and 4 year olds who were struggling with learning their letters. Back in my day a 3 year old was still a baby. No one tried to teach a 3 year old anything academic. No one expected a kid to know anything before they started kindergarten at age 5. Kindergarten was a half day and half of that time was spent playing. We spent the entire year of kindergarten learning the stuff that we are now teaching  3 and 4 year olds. What ever happened to childhood?

 

Susan in TX

 

Sounds great in theory, but if a child will be transitioning into brick and mortar school any point in lower elementary, in *some areas*, a child needs to be reading and writing BEFORE kindergarten. I know that my sister pulled my barely 4 year old nephew from a pre-k program in a state with a lottery pre-k for every child; by day 2 they had a dozen worksheets working on phonics and writing - he was in tears by the end of week 1. Because it's offered to every child, it would stand to reason that the kindergartens assume this stuff is learned prior to kindergarten.

[AimeeM]

??? Or they learn them there in K. It is infinitely easier to get a 5 year old to learn the abcs than a 3 year old.

My DD was "behind" - she did not know any letter sounds entering K, because we had just moved from a country where there are no preschool academics. So what? She learned them there and was the first in her class to read fluently.

 

I think what she's saying is that in some areas, especially where pre-k is offered for free to everyone, kindergartners are expected to ALREADY KNOW these things, and would be considered "behind" if they didn't.

[Arcadia]

??? Or they learn them there in K. It is infinitely easier to get a 5 year old to learn the abcs than a 3 year old.

My DD was "behind" - she did not know any letter sounds entering K, because we had just moved from a country where there are no preschool academics. So what? She learned them there and was the first in her class to read fluently.

 

By the time my older boy entered public school kindergarten in 2009, the expectation was already that the kids would know their ABCs and 123s.  The only ones getting pull out help were those classified as ESLs. Letters and numbers were already taught in Head Start preschools. The teachers spent a week or two on revising the letter sounds and move on to reading and writing.

 

My neighbor has a child in public school's kindergarten who can't read yet. Since the child is not an ESL and the district's special needs evaluator does not think her child has dyslexia, my neighbor would have to teach her child to read herself or the child would be even more "behind" beginning 1st grade in fall. The child can't read the weekly spelling words for kindergarten without help.

[Hunter]

Sounds great in theory, but if a child will be transitioning into brick and mortar school any point in lower elementary, in *some areas*, a child needs to be reading and writing BEFORE kindergarten. I know that my sister pulled my barely 4 year old nephew from a pre-k program in a state with a lottery pre-k for every child; by day 2 they had a dozen worksheets working on phonics and writing - he was in tears by the end of week 1. Because it's offered to every child, it would stand to reason that the kindergartens assume this stuff is learned prior to kindergarten.

Moms are in a tight spot for sure!

 

I liken this to domestic abuse victims. The woman copes as best she can, doing damage control in the environment she exists in. Then people shame her and hold her responsible for anything negative that happens, instead of blaming the powerful people in control of the big picture.

[Hunter]

Yeah sorry I don't buy it. I hear this, but then I also hear that plenty of kids can't "really" do this. And it sounds a heck of a lot more impressive than it really is. Invented spelling, scribbling random crap on a page, etc. is called "writing". I'm pretty confident that at any point my kids could have done that.

 

(And my "I don't buy it" is not meant as me saying you are full of it. I just don't buy that kids doing these early things so soon is as impressive as it sounds.)

Yes, but despite the fact that MOST of the children are only scribbling, they are labeled as failing and behind. The few children who are meeting the expectations are held up as examples of what is expected of all children.

[PentecostalMom]

I don't know THE reason because I think there are several different ones, many of which are posted here.  I do know that my dc will never have to deal with that and I am thankful and blessed to be able to make these decisions for them.  My 2yo loves to play.  He plays with the tiny legos because he is done with the MegaBloks and Duplos.  He will play with those if his sisters play with him, but he prefers the tiny ones.  He loves to build, loves Wedgits.  I let him play it is interest-based learning.  I don't push him, but I don't treat him like a baby when he wants to do something.  I let him try.  If he fails, that's okay, we try again.  I refuse to sit him down and teach him letters, sounds, numbers, and colors with flash cards.  I think that is time-consuming and simply nuts.  However, he learns many of those things in his daily play.

 

I don't agree with the academic push that I have seen over recent years, even among homeschoolers.  I think our children need time to be children. 

[AimeeM]

Yeah sorry I don't buy it.  I hear this, but then I also hear that plenty of kids can't "really" do this.  And it sounds a heck of a lot more impressive than it really is.  Invented spelling, scribbling random crap on a page, etc. is called "writing".  I'm pretty confident that at any point my kids could have done that.

 

(And my "I don't buy it" is not meant as me saying you are full of it.  I just don't buy that kids doing these early things so soon is as impressive as it sounds.)

 

I agree that it's not impressive. It took my mother months to undo the damage done to him in a week or so at that pre-k. He learned nothing, certainly, EXCEPT that he HATED anything resembling school work. Now? He's learning to count and he's learning to read... because he wants to. Unfortunately, my mother (bless her heart) decided that he would enjoy sight reading more, so didn't bother to teach him his alphabet (or sounds) first.

As it is, my sister is either going to have to homeschool kindergarten, or send him knowing he'll be "behind" the others. Can't win.

And yes, it is SAD.

My middle boy loves school work... but he's my son (and I used to read textbooks for fun).

[Arcadia]

I'm confused.  Your 9 year old was placed in kindergarten?

 

No :lol: He entered public school kindergarten at 4yrs 8mths old.  My school district follow California's birthday cut-off to the letter.

[jennynd]

Sounds great in theory, but if a child will be transitioning into brick and mortar school any point in lower elementary, in *some areas*, a child needs to be reading and writing BEFORE kindergarten. I know that my sister pulled my barely 4 year old nephew from a pre-k program in a state with a lottery pre-k for every child; by day 2 they had a dozen worksheets working on phonics and writing - he was in tears by the end of week 1. Because it's offered to every child, it would stand to reason that the kindergartens assume this stuff is learned prior to kindergarten.

This is pretty much our experience in preK. My daughter came home ( when she was just 3) with sight word written on her hands by the teacher.. I was soooo pissed.. But MANY MANY parents there are all about how their kids can read because this school.. Regardless if the kids actually understand what they read

[My3girls]

By the time my older boy entered public school kindergarten in 2009, the expectation was already that the kids would know their ABCs and 123s.  The only ones getting pull out help were those classified as ESLs. Letters and numbers were already taught in Head Start preschools. The teachers spent a week or two on revising the letter sounds and move on to reading and writing.

 

My neighbor has a child in public school's kindergarten who can't read yet. Since the child is not an ESL and the district's special needs evaluator does not think her child has dyslexia, my neighbor would have to teach her child to read herself or the child would be even more "behind" beginning 1st grade in fall. The child can't read the weekly spelling words for kindergarten without help.

 

 

This happened with my dd9.  By second grade, we had to pull her out because she was not getting the help she needed and was too far behind to even attempt 3rd grade.  Plus she and I were both so frustrated because we had to redo all her work from school every night, and she (nor I) got any play time.  She just needed more time and attention than she got in a PS setting.  She's doing great, now.  I'm making no attempt to "catch her up", though.  We're just learning at her pace, and it's working.

 

My girls did pre-K because I worked full time outside of the home, but it was not my preference.  My girls all knew their abc's, 123's, colors, and shapes before pre-K, though, just from reading, singing, and playing with their leap-frog stuff.  They weren't reading or writing, yet, though.  I see nothing wrong with teaching them young if it's fun.  I think America's school system and philosophies are absolutely ridiculous, though.  Putting stress on kids, parents, and teachers for a 4-5 year old to read is just wrong.

[AimeeM]

I think you can absolutely meet the needs of gifted toddlers and pre-schoolers without doing early academics.

 

Parents need to take back some power. If schools have gone mad, speak up.

 

While I agree, there are some children who are ready and WANT to do formal academics. My middle boy literally hugs his workbooks and new school books when they come in.

[Mom2OandE]

I totally agree!

[MotherOfBoys]

My three year old has been bragging all day to daddy that he got to start his next rod n staff workbook today. He's in the F book now.

 

I would go mad if I didn't have some school to do with my boys every day. The house would be in shambles.

 

We have no extended family close to visit and our few friends homeschool their older children all day so they can't hang out with us.

 

My kids can do almost all the chores around the house. They have a lot of lego time, readaloud time, outside digging holes in the yard where they shouldn't time, bike riding time, etc...

 

We don't do electronics and I don't have a bunch of kids to take care of.

[hjffkj]

My son asked me to teach him yo read at 3 and a half so I bought Phonics Pathways and now he's 5 and reading at a 2nd grade level.  Then at 4 he asked me to teach him about numbers, so I started saxon math 1 because he wanted to use a book like his cousin.  I never thought I'd be doing anything formal until he was 6 but he asked so I obliged.  Thats just why i started when I did. 

[hjffkj]

dp

[kristinannie]

dp

[kristinannie]

Double post

[kristinannie]

dp

[kristinannie]

The school district in the next county over from us tests incoming kindergarteners.  If they cannot read CVC words, they are put in remedial reading classes and are usually stuck there until the end of 2nd grade.  It is completely insane.  My biggest regret was falling for the pressure to my oldest in pre-K.  They taught him whole language and it took me months to deprogram him from pre-K.  It was the biggest mistake I ever made with my kids.

[Peaceful Isle]

Oh my goodness...I have enough on my plate teaching my olders, that I am happily letting my just turned three year old play, play, play.

 

He is all boy, and I am a tired out mom, so the poor kid probably won't get any formal instruction till five, if that.

 

I think it all depends on where you are in life. If the kid and mom enjoy school at three, that's awesome. If not, that's great too.

[abba12]

The school district in the next county over from us tests incoming kindergarteners.  If they cannot read CVC words, they are put in remedial reading classes and are usually stuck there until the end of 2nd grade.  It is completely insane.  My biggest regret was falling for the pressure to my oldest in pre-K.  They taught him whole language and it took me months to deprogram him from pre-K.  It was the biggest mistake I ever made with my kids.

 

THIS, this is the problem right here. My kids won't be going to school so thankfully I don't have to worry about it, but plenty of homeschoolers these days need to make sure they are keeping up with schools because they consider going back to school a strong possibility, or even a plan. And even those who don't often want to ensure they are at least on par due to regulations or family pressures, etc.

 

Again, however, let me restate. Teaching these things at home does not take anywhere near the time it does at a kindergarten. Many parent/child pairs enjoy it and find it rewarding and an easy way to ensure they get one-on-one time with the little ones each day, I know I do. We are covering as much, if not more, than the academic focused PreK, and if we don't include read alouds we do so in about 2 hours a WEEK total. No one is talking about taking away childhoods and filling their days with workbooks. My daughter begs for more (after completing 10 pages... sigh. That year-long math book will be lucky if it lasts 6 months lol) and she literally cries with excitement when we get a school package.

 

 

Perhaps if she was a reluctant little boy it would be a bit different. I don't think I'd drop academics altogether but it wouldn't be at the same level.

[stripe]

See, now, I think it's a middle down problem. I think we expect too little of middle schoolers. They shove stuff down to the little kids. It's all hurry, hurry, hurry just to sloooooooowwwww waaaaaaaayyyyy dooooowwwwn just to AP, AP, AP. I would work on the middle, leave the babies to their play, and let the high schoolers pick the course that best suits them, having been aptly prepared. 

Yeah, I don't understand when all educational problems are solved by teaching 3 year olds to read.

 

One of my kids knew the alphabet much earlier than my other children, just from playing with blocks and asking me what the letters were, not because I did anything, and I think it made exactly zero difference in learning how to read or when that happened or reading skills at age 8.

 

I think there is also a lack of appreciation for early elementary skills. Like, growing a plant, tending to a pet, cutting and gluing, singing, and painting are all somehow second-rate or for dumb kids. The video of Hungarian kindergarten is pretty interesting. It is the beginning of this video:

https://www.teachingchannel.org/videos/teaching-elementary-math-hungary

The kindergarten teachers are quite adamant that writing is not appropriate, but they are teaching important skills that will lead to the child being able to write at the right time. They have a set of skills they are working on, but it's not facts and figures. It's very firmly rooted in young children's development. It's quite fascinating to watch. 

 

(By the way, the website suggests you need to register to watch it, but you don't. Just close the pop up and press the play button.)

[Alte Veste Academy]

Please know there are a mix of people on the preK forum.

 

Mums of little ones are facing enough judgment as it is. Older people tell us we are ruining our kids childhood, younger parents compare everything and obsess over who is 'ahead', the school system evaluates 4 and 5 year olds for who is bright and who is dumb, we get told to make sure we are making memories, and make sure you do all the beautiful craft, but don't spoil them for attention, teach them how to be bored and find fun things to do, and at the end of all this try to make sure your kid is one of the ones who can read CVC words when they enter K so that they can get into program a and enrichment b, which will put them ahead for their whole school career.

 

I try to opt out of as much of that crap as I can, but a little less judgment from other mums, from BOTH sides, would be nice.

It is also good to remember that all of us were moms of little ones once. And no matter what side of K you are on, there will be a wide spectrum of belief about early academics. Some (like me) felt this way even then. So it is not different judgment from this side of K on my part. It is the same judgment I made before. LOL

 

What I think most moms could use more of is self-confidence in the knowledge that they are doing right by their own values, conscience, kids, and families. Then all the judgment would be like water off a duck's back. :tongue_smilie:

[idnib]

So, any ideas for the reason schools are dropping the ball for 3-4 years? (I agree, just wondering why.)

[Momling]

If it's any consolation to the parents of non-academic 3-4 year olds... We live in a fairly affluent community and I have a foster child in public Kindergarten.  It's a great school full of friendly people and the focus in Kindergarten is really on social and classroom skills.  Our little guy came with no pre-school experiences and he still fit right in, learning the ABCs and counting and sharing and playing and singing and music and art and PE.  I know there is a trend towards early academics, but there are still some awesome schools where kindergarten is a half-day program developmentally appropriate for 5 year olds.

[Targhee]

I was kind of like this with my first. I saw how bright and capable she was, so I thought. Should start this whole academic thing. I didn't realize the value of experiential learning the way I do now. Wht really fed my frenzy was all these reports about how critical the first 5 years of child's life is with regards to learning. Talk about pressure! And the sad truth is that there wasn't enough report of HOW the learning in those first critical years should take place.

 

Where do the children play? Our neighborhood hasn't any kids around because they are all in daycare/school and structured acitivities from a age 2 months until graduation. And you wonder why kids are doing poorly in school - they are trapped, unable to exercise their own will for any part of their day, and even those who really want to do well at school can't help but drift in the focus and become numb to the institutional routine.

 

Wow. That sounded a lot more "radical" than it should.

[Vida Winter]

Yes, it is very sad.

[candikane]

Wow, here it's required for age 4 to start school--4k. I thought that was everywhere.

[Ivey]

I guess I'm old too - my 4yo has spent the last two weeks building, demolishing, rebuilding and defending his pillow fort. 

 

When we were living in Canada, Ds19 attended a 100% play-based preschool two mornings a week the year he was 4, then half-day kindergarten that ended up being mostly recess/music/PE. The summer after kindergarten, we moved to an area in the US with academic "pre-k" and full-day kindergarten. He did just fine. 

[AimeeM]

Wow, here it's required for age 4 to start school--4k. I thought that was everywhere.

 

You aren't in the United States then? Because while I know that some states push K-4, it isn't mandatory in any state.

[candikane]

You aren't in the United States then? Because while I know that some states push K-4, it isn't mandatory in any state.

I'm in Wisconsin, it's mandatory here and has been for a long time! My almost 9 year old was required to do it (2 months after turning 4) and it was mandatory for at least a few years before that.

[8circles]

I'm in Wisconsin, it's mandatory here and has been for a long time! My almost 9 year old was required to do it (2 months after turning 4) and it was mandatory for at least a few years before that.

I live in Wisconsin. It isn't mandatory here in my district, although it is available.